tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post113015927849924556..comments2023-09-20T03:34:47.984-04:00Comments on My part of the world.......: Independant strong female seeks man.....part deuxAcolytehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03673179447438729227noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-19604120501899655552007-02-01T19:52:00.000-05:002007-02-01T19:52:00.000-05:00How is it impossible to be 30+,start a family the...How is it impossible to be 30+,start a family then, have a supportive man/husband, have a soaring career and at the same time still maintain the figure and look 18? Why all these timelines plus if a 6o some yr old can mother some offspring ,who is to say at 40 one cannot,if that is what they so desire. Some women/men do not always conform to the norm, perhaps you need to add that scenario in part 3 of this analysisAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1139360476091683432006-02-07T20:01:00.000-05:002006-02-07T20:01:00.000-05:00@ Anonthanks for commenting.Yes I do agree with al...@ Anon<BR/>thanks for commenting.Yes I do agree with alot of what you said even tho my post is far from water tight in many aspects.If you feel that career and other goals mean more to you then marriage and kids then by all means go for it!But you will meet many ppl who will not understand or approve of your choice ie your ex but that is the price of goals and dreams.As for wazees who go for young gals thinking they are in love that post is in the works and will come up soon stay tuned!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1139329999817325752006-02-07T11:33:00.000-05:002006-02-07T11:33:00.000-05:00I have just read this post and feel the need to pu...I have just read this post and feel the need to put in my two cents worth.<BR/><BR/>I am a Kenyan woman and I grew up with the kind of mother who is always there for you, you know the kind you run to when you scrape your knees as you are playing kati or whatever and you know she will be there to bandage your knees and make your life better.<BR/><BR/>Two years ago I began to mess around with the idea of getting married but then certain thoughts crossed my mind. I have gigantic career goals. Want to own and run my own business by the time I am 45 and I do not mean a kiosk kind of thing. Also want to run for public office and I dont intend to be the type of MP who gets seen on tv passing a whole load of gas. Already have drawn up plans as to how I plan to improve my chosen constituency.<BR/><BR/>You can therefore understand why after much thought and consideration I finally arrived at the fact that children are not for me. And should I get hitched, the man should either wish to remain childless or be a widower who already has grown up kids that do not need mothering. Not to say that I do not love kids but isnt there almost always opportunity cost in each situation. My fiancee was not of the same school of thought so we parted ways. <BR/><BR/>I hear so many people tell me I will live to regret my decision but you know what, I am about as sure as I can get that had I made any other choice, I would have been unable to live with me.<BR/><BR/>Needless to say, you do make some classic points in your arguement but as usual you flow with the assumption that most women are like my mother. Loving parenthood and woe be unto thee that you should remain single or childless. But you know what, majority of women make lousy mothers. And it rare that you turn up on a treasure that is my mother. Even more so, the one's who get hitched early do so by mistake and while they should be in the house raising their teenage daughters, they are trying to recapture their lost youth. So do allow me to stand by living first, and getting on with the rest of it all laters. <BR/><BR/>And while thinking about how to lay out this comment something else crossed my mind-what is it about men and marrying young heifers whom you know are just in it for the money? You know,heifer's whom you know for sure that were your fortunes to take a turn for the worse, the same fool would be out the door faster than an El Nino downpour. Please do blog on this. Would love to understand that psych.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130348973617265882005-10-26T13:49:00.000-04:002005-10-26T13:49:00.000-04:00i like the NEXT!!! partsI want to be there to see ...i like the NEXT!!! parts<BR/><BR/>I want to be there to see my kid learn how to walk talk etc<BR/><BR/>I cant imagine missing out on those things...<BR/><BR/>My Dad was there for me and so i want to do the same for my kids<BR/><BR/>Wwwuuuii<BR/><BR/>Watching from the sidelines with popcornMilonarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01573752810605404130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130247434085652252005-10-25T09:37:00.000-04:002005-10-25T09:37:00.000-04:00By the way Aco, I'm ready to get hitched. Si you h...By the way Aco, I'm ready to get hitched. Si you hook a sister up!!! I'm still way under 30 so the way I see it, he has two years to get to know me ant then we get hitched and immediately start popping those offspring!<BR/><BR/>Spread the word!!<BR/><BR/>Ps/ And when are you going to do the blogs that irritate you post? Yes I might be among them but I still want you to do it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130206224404649712005-10-24T22:10:00.000-04:002005-10-24T22:10:00.000-04:00Yes some of the points I have brought up work best...Yes some of the points I have brought up work best huku in stato.But what to do?Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.Or are there any ladies out there who will take me as a stay at home hubby?I can stay home and take care of the kids while you work.Any takers out there?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130201884001882362005-10-24T20:58:00.000-04:002005-10-24T20:58:00.000-04:00Acolyte, you do have good points in these two post...Acolyte, you do have good points in these two posts. <BR/><BR/>I personally would have liked to have been done with the whole child bearing thing by the time I was 25 but its not that easy. Someone can't just go out there and marry anyone that asks you to and have kids with them just coz they've shown interest. I also have to feel that this is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with and smile at his little idiosyncrasies rather than frown upon them. Untill that happens I'm afraid I'll remain childless and single and continue working my ass off. (Ofcourse looking for that person at the same time.)<BR/>When husi and kids come, then I will work fewer hrs a week so that I can be there 100% for all of them. <BR/><BR/><BR/>@ Ms K: Call me traditional, but I think a child needs both parents. The women raising kids by themselves with the "I don't need a man" attitude need to realise they are thinking only of themselves and not how this will affect their child later in life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130187542706926842005-10-24T16:59:00.000-04:002005-10-24T16:59:00.000-04:00@ Ms K -putting on armour of ego and self righteou...@ Ms K <BR/>-putting on armour of ego and self righteousness!-<BR/>I dont think that the dad should be absent when the kid is born but I do think that the mum should be there from 100% then on a reducing basis at which point the dad's presence and participation should be increasing.Hope I make sense.Well you can be a good parent and an office superstar but it is very very very hard.I have seen many parents try and fail, also depends on what kind of job you do.There are some jobs that exert less pressure and can let one raise their kids well esp if they are not tied to the corporate market place and stock portfolios.I personally heard the former MD of Coke EA speak about the toll that his career took on his family life and to make things worse his wife was also a hi flier.For the good of his family life he left Coke and his wife took a less stressful job so they could raise the kids.It isnt impossible as I said but it takes a whole lot!But you are free to have your own opinions you know!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130176141623489312005-10-24T13:49:00.000-04:002005-10-24T13:49:00.000-04:00NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!Auuuuuuiiiiii if you were somewhe...NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!<BR/><BR/>Auuuuuuiiiiii if you were somewhere near here you would be gasping for air!<BR/><BR/>Now where do I start?! First off that belief that women are more important than men during the first years of a kid's life is a tall tale propagated by a generation of men who wanted to go out to bars and drink while their wives stayed at home and brought up their kids. <BR/><BR/>Ask anyone who's always had a good relationship with their dad. It doesn't start the day you turn 12 and suddenly your dad decides you're big anough for him to carry to the bar. The foundations for healthy relationships with parents, father or mother, are laid right from the beginning. If not then there's a lot of catch up going on and for something as important as parent-child relationship, i don't know why anyone would want to jeopardize it. <BR/><BR/>And if you don't believe that NEXT!!!!<BR/><BR/>Oh and you can be a great parent and have a fabulous career.Ms Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05415218097934390458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130170581874033922005-10-24T12:16:00.000-04:002005-10-24T12:16:00.000-04:00@ mutumiaHey hun!I will admit that some of what I ...@ mutumia<BR/>Hey hun!I will admit that some of what I say is less then perfect same goes for what you have to say.In a perfect world a jamaa would look past your age and all other issues.But i will be honest there are chics who i look at and i see them as marriage material but not simply walking uteruses.thing is with dudes is that at times the chics we hang with and the ones we want to marry/long term are totally different.but thats a post for another day.Good to have your feedback nonetheless!-NEXT!-Acolytehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03673179447438729227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130165113863416032005-10-24T10:45:00.000-04:002005-10-24T10:45:00.000-04:00@ ms Kstrong words!I am not saying that a woman sh...@ ms K<BR/>strong words!I am not saying that a woman should sit home and wait to get married no!but if she wants to have kids then she should put marriage first and jobo second.Plus i dont think that the dad should be a checkbook but when it comes to raising kids the mum's input is more critical then the dad's esp at the early stage.<BR/>I do not think that you can raise kids <B>well</B> and have a spectacular career.Unless you can clone yourself.We men have known that for years and that is why we marry women who are good home-makers.Having a sterling career takes alot of time and hard work and so does raising a good family.face it you cant be superwoman!More so as a single mum.Yes you can choose that route but like it or not kids are meant to have a male influence on their lives.Like it or not.-Next!-Acolytehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03673179447438729227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130162411494229952005-10-24T10:00:00.000-04:002005-10-24T10:00:00.000-04:00I meant signing cheques for school fees obviously....I meant signing cheques for school fees obviously.Ms Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05415218097934390458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7486446.post-1130162278304298772005-10-24T09:57:00.000-04:002005-10-24T09:57:00.000-04:00Eh I won't lie. In the first post, you made a very...Eh I won't lie. In the first post, you made a very compelling argument (CA) but this time... chauvinism showing through kabisa. <BR/><BR/>First off, its almost impossible to follow your No 2 suggestion. That sh*t doesn't work. The truth is in today's world, everyone's gotta go out there and work after college. there's no two ways about that. And I really don't like that idea of a chick focusing all her energies into looking for a husband. What about her own development? Ama she should put everything on hold while she raises the kids and builds the home? BS.<BR/><BR/>I do think however that it is possible to do both. You can raise kids AND have a fulfilling career. There are MANY examples of this. But the woman must have a husband who is also at home raising the kids and not just signing cheques for high school.<BR/><BR/>Once a couple decides to have kids, I believe it is paramount for them to sit down and honestly discuss their career plans, options. Cos, and this is not about feminism at all, I expect my husband to be spening quality time with his kids as well. So, both partners must discuss their career plans and critically examine how each person's career will impact on family life and then they can make adjustments. <BR/><BR/>Lakini I do agree with you on one thing, women can't put off having families indefinitely and that's the honest truth. Then again, these days alot of career women are choosing to go the single parent route. And you know, it seems to work okey. I know lots of women for whom being a single mum has given them impetus to rise in their careers. Go figure!<BR/><BR/>Wacha I stop there cos I know I'll need the rest of my ammo for later.Ms Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05415218097934390458noreply@blogger.com