Still at work!

In an effort to look useful and boost my job security I volunteered to work overtime today.My company is a member of one of those image bank sites.You know where you download images for your own use at a certain fee for a certain amount of time.
Anyway our current membership expires tommorow so I volunteered to stay and take maximum advantage of our remaining time.Anyway after the earlier issues this week I really don't talk much in the office I just put my nose to the grind stone.My proposed transfer is still on hold but when it does come through I'll be doing something I enjoy instead of pretending to work.Anyway enough about this fuckin' job.
I was reading about a vippasana retreat and it sounded really cool visit www.dhamma.org to know all that they are about.Anyhow it is a ten day residential retreat where what you do most of the time is meditate.Both individually and as a group.There are also one or two discussions a day on meditation and vipassana.But you are not allowed to talk to or come in contact with the other students,no exercise,no prayer/worship of any sort,no writing material,no jewellery,no electronics,no contact with the outside world barring emergencies,no music,no dancing,no sex,no books.And this is meant to last 10 days.A veritable depravation chamber if you ask me.Oh and no comfy beds;mats only and a wake up time of 4 a.m.
All this for 10 days man if you do survive it you can survive anything.I am considering going for one of them but not this time round due to the current officce situation and the fact that I have not earned the right to go on leave.In addition this is a christian organisation I work for so if I told them I was going on a retreat based on Eastern philosophy I doubt they would even require my services any longer.Speaking of which have you noticed that worlwide it's usually people who call themselves christians who are the least tolerant?I guess that's what happens when you were once a minority and become a majority.Anyway let's see if I am still on form to lucid dream tonight.

Tuesday!

I am out of titles so since it's Tuesday today that will have to do.I learnt somethin interesting yesterday.You cannot aspire to lucid dream when you are tired.I wanted to do that uesterday but the problem is that I spent to much time on the PS2 so i was pretty bushed when I went to bed so I couldn't turn on in my dreams.
Nonetheless I did remember in one dream I met a chic I used to be in uni with.We were not so tight then but I do recall giving her a hug in dreamland.The other interesting thing is that I was taller then her.I also do not recall ever seeing myself in any of my dreams.Why is this?I can feel myself but seeing.Uh uh.Anyway tonite no dilly dallying even though I am doing overtime.

Some rest.

Had a relaxed weekend.I am trying to get into regular meditation, it will help me centre myself and get rid of some of my bad habits.
Went shopping in the afternoon.I bought myself a book on learning tarot.Found out how much I have to learn it will be a month or teo before i understand the cards enough to read for myself even.But I have found out I have a fairly strong third eye so that should help me, like I was looking for some tarot cards to buy later on when I have the cash and I didn't get anything from all the packs but one.I knew they were the ones.
I bought some incense to help me neditate but I have realised it is not strong enough to create the atmosphere that I want when I meditate.Also have an amethyst crystal I used it to meditate last night they really create a difference but I am yet to establish a bond with it.When I do I will be able to tap into it fully.

Still at work!

It's 9 pm and I am still in the office.After being chewed out for doing work I was not meant to be doing badly I am now back to html work but low level testing designed pages.Ooooh exciting.Need to edit or something.
Anyway at least they bought us diner I had a large chicken pizza.Took only 3 slices will save the rest for home.I have realised that my psyke for meat is slowly waning I will be vegetarian in no time.Otherwise i hope i am not needed in the office tommorrow.I want to buy a starter Tarot book.The big guy is here reviewing progress I am not even listening to them as I really don't exist in the big scheme of things unless I assert my presence.Oh life we never get a brake.
I hope I am not too tired to lucid dream tonight I need a brake.I think I will start receeding into a shell all this drama is getting to me. 

Fuck This!

Seems I screwed up yesterday.I was given someones work to add some features to.Seems he had not done the content as it was meant to be so I catch flack from the chic on top of me.
I was really pissed at first but I just put on my headphones and listened to music, did work I am supposed to and of course blogged for the week.
Fuck it today work ends for me at 2 pm.Due to where out offices are I can't bounce so I'll just kick back,blog and listen to sounds.I think I will write my letter to have editorial responsibilities added coz what I am doing now ain't helping me personally or proffesionally.
At least I will have time to meditate and relax this weekend.