America's Colonial Election
3 years ago
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
My pet peeves part 1
1.Emotionally needy people - I get tired trying to tell people they are not as ugly,fat or dumb as they think they are. I tell you twice at most!I am not an emotional tampon!
2. People who whine - I have no problem with your expressing your disatisfaction with something. But when you do it ad nauseum and to make things worse you are doing nothing to correct what it is you are complaining about you are asking for a bitch slap.
3.People who take pride in their ignorance - Have you ever asked someone about something that may eventually affect them ie Immigration matters and they go like, "I don't bother with such!" Another good reason for a bitch slap!
4.People who undertake complex undertakings without planning - How the hell do you plan to drive long distance but dont bother to get a puncture fixing kit, AA, jumper cable and the other emergency stuff then you want Aco to help you out?Or put a down payment on a house yet you dont even have a steady job and have no contingency plan for in case you cant make payments.Dumbass Mofos!
5.Dancefloor vultures - My guy sneaking up on a mama on the dancefloor and rubbing your crotch on her sans invitation is not a good way to introduce yourself!
6.Bar vultures - These are those mamas who you start talking to near the bar and then they think that coz you are talking to them you have to buy them a drink.My dear I am just making conversation, besides every sucker buys mamas drinks on the first night.You have to prove yourself worthy before I buy you a drink.Also just because you are the pal of the mama I was talking to does not earn you a drink much as it doesnt earn me a free shot at the goods.Buy your own damn drinks!
7.Tribal imperialists - It is a good thing to be proud of what tribe you came from but that is no excuse to think that you are superior and treat people from other tribes like crap and not associate with them. And we wonder why Kenya isnt doing as well as it could.
8.One dimensional people - I dislike people who can only talk about one or two things and to make things worse can't even do it well. I had a workmate who used to talk about 3 things work, women and football. Do you know how much it sucks hanging with a pal outside the office and them going on about office matters (argh!!!), it got boring about him talking about the mamas he had shagged, was planning to shag or was dreaming of shagging (ie Halle Berry) and then when it came to soccer. Woooiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!This man was an enemy of foootball this guys football knowledge only extended two years back!Ask him about Tony Adams or John Barnes and the dude was lost!This was his idea of why Arsenal would win the league," have you seen Fabregas that kid can play!And Flamini is a haste!"Nothing about tactics, fixtures or the effect of European soccer and upcoming transfers!But he was tolerable once someone had a few beers in them and since he was buying the beers........
9.Gold Diggers and undercover Gold Diggers - If you go after a man because of what he has and not who he is then you are a gold digger, that is all I am going to say!
10.Dudes who dandia you for pints but never buy when their day comes! - These bastards always have an excuse when it is their turn but when you are absent they talk about how the pints flowed!Bastards!
11.People who beat women - Unless a chic is threatening your life or your crown jewels you have no right to take your first to her at all!Words should be enough for you to solve your differences, if not walk away!
12.Chics who stay with dudes who beat them and treat them like crap - If you have the ability to leave an abusive relationship but you stay, you have no sympathy from me.I know someone is going to say it isn't that easy, well I think it is and I dont care!
13.People who lie for the sake of lying - I am sure we all know some people like that. People who lie for no purpose whatsover!It is so irritating!
14.Rapists and child molestors - I believe there is a special place in hell for them.Let me not start ranting on this.
15.Women who kill their children - Mother is the name for God on the lips of all children.If you can kill what you carried in your womb for nine months and went through hours of labour to bring onto this earth then a special evil runs through your brains.
16.People who abuse animals - God placed us one earth as stewards of all creation.So it galls me when some people use the power we were given over creation to make animals suffer ie dog fights, overworking animals, mutilating animals.
17.Chics who wear revealing clothes then are self conscious the whole day - My dear did you not look in the mirror before you left home?
18.People who can't hold their liqour - I hate those kubaffs who go catch pints and then get high start throwing up all over, bouting and all sorts of other drama.If you can't handle your liqour stop drinking!
19.Dead beat dads - Any man can be a daddy but it takes a real man to be a father. If you cant take the heat then dont put any buns in the oven!
20.Chics who have kids with dead beats - You could tell that he was a dead beat and you had a kid with him anyway!Too bad for you!
21.Obese people - I am sorry no actually I am not.Get you lazy ass up!Diet and sukuma weights and treadmill!
22.People who use the name of God to take advantage of people - We see such people on TV every day esp Sundays.Your love gift in exchange for health,wealth and wisdom.There is a special place for you too.
23.Christian fundamentalists - Just because you read your Bible word for word without understanding it or applying it doesn't make your right!It just makes you an intolerant nut!
24.Muslim fundamentalists - Just because you read your Koran word for word without understanding it or applying it doesn't make your right!It just makes you an intolerant nut who blows things and himself up!
25.Nosy people - Why do you want to know who I am, where I am from, where I live, why I live there etc.It isnt any of your damn business...
Part 2 coming soon!
2. People who whine - I have no problem with your expressing your disatisfaction with something. But when you do it ad nauseum and to make things worse you are doing nothing to correct what it is you are complaining about you are asking for a bitch slap.
3.People who take pride in their ignorance - Have you ever asked someone about something that may eventually affect them ie Immigration matters and they go like, "I don't bother with such!" Another good reason for a bitch slap!
4.People who undertake complex undertakings without planning - How the hell do you plan to drive long distance but dont bother to get a puncture fixing kit, AA, jumper cable and the other emergency stuff then you want Aco to help you out?Or put a down payment on a house yet you dont even have a steady job and have no contingency plan for in case you cant make payments.Dumbass Mofos!
5.Dancefloor vultures - My guy sneaking up on a mama on the dancefloor and rubbing your crotch on her sans invitation is not a good way to introduce yourself!
6.Bar vultures - These are those mamas who you start talking to near the bar and then they think that coz you are talking to them you have to buy them a drink.My dear I am just making conversation, besides every sucker buys mamas drinks on the first night.You have to prove yourself worthy before I buy you a drink.Also just because you are the pal of the mama I was talking to does not earn you a drink much as it doesnt earn me a free shot at the goods.Buy your own damn drinks!
7.Tribal imperialists - It is a good thing to be proud of what tribe you came from but that is no excuse to think that you are superior and treat people from other tribes like crap and not associate with them. And we wonder why Kenya isnt doing as well as it could.
8.One dimensional people - I dislike people who can only talk about one or two things and to make things worse can't even do it well. I had a workmate who used to talk about 3 things work, women and football. Do you know how much it sucks hanging with a pal outside the office and them going on about office matters (argh!!!), it got boring about him talking about the mamas he had shagged, was planning to shag or was dreaming of shagging (ie Halle Berry) and then when it came to soccer. Woooiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!This man was an enemy of foootball this guys football knowledge only extended two years back!Ask him about Tony Adams or John Barnes and the dude was lost!This was his idea of why Arsenal would win the league," have you seen Fabregas that kid can play!And Flamini is a haste!"Nothing about tactics, fixtures or the effect of European soccer and upcoming transfers!But he was tolerable once someone had a few beers in them and since he was buying the beers........
9.Gold Diggers and undercover Gold Diggers - If you go after a man because of what he has and not who he is then you are a gold digger, that is all I am going to say!
10.Dudes who dandia you for pints but never buy when their day comes! - These bastards always have an excuse when it is their turn but when you are absent they talk about how the pints flowed!Bastards!
11.People who beat women - Unless a chic is threatening your life or your crown jewels you have no right to take your first to her at all!Words should be enough for you to solve your differences, if not walk away!
12.Chics who stay with dudes who beat them and treat them like crap - If you have the ability to leave an abusive relationship but you stay, you have no sympathy from me.I know someone is going to say it isn't that easy, well I think it is and I dont care!
13.People who lie for the sake of lying - I am sure we all know some people like that. People who lie for no purpose whatsover!It is so irritating!
14.Rapists and child molestors - I believe there is a special place in hell for them.Let me not start ranting on this.
15.Women who kill their children - Mother is the name for God on the lips of all children.If you can kill what you carried in your womb for nine months and went through hours of labour to bring onto this earth then a special evil runs through your brains.
16.People who abuse animals - God placed us one earth as stewards of all creation.So it galls me when some people use the power we were given over creation to make animals suffer ie dog fights, overworking animals, mutilating animals.
17.Chics who wear revealing clothes then are self conscious the whole day - My dear did you not look in the mirror before you left home?
18.People who can't hold their liqour - I hate those kubaffs who go catch pints and then get high start throwing up all over, bouting and all sorts of other drama.If you can't handle your liqour stop drinking!
19.Dead beat dads - Any man can be a daddy but it takes a real man to be a father. If you cant take the heat then dont put any buns in the oven!
20.Chics who have kids with dead beats - You could tell that he was a dead beat and you had a kid with him anyway!Too bad for you!
21.Obese people - I am sorry no actually I am not.Get you lazy ass up!Diet and sukuma weights and treadmill!
22.People who use the name of God to take advantage of people - We see such people on TV every day esp Sundays.Your love gift in exchange for health,wealth and wisdom.There is a special place for you too.
23.Christian fundamentalists - Just because you read your Bible word for word without understanding it or applying it doesn't make your right!It just makes you an intolerant nut!
24.Muslim fundamentalists - Just because you read your Koran word for word without understanding it or applying it doesn't make your right!It just makes you an intolerant nut who blows things and himself up!
25.Nosy people - Why do you want to know who I am, where I am from, where I live, why I live there etc.It isnt any of your damn business...
Part 2 coming soon!
Still room for more!
Hey people these are the blog topics that I have so far that have made the cut!
1.Sleeping Attire - Stunuh
2.My pet peeves - Shiroh
3.Life in the "ville" - Devious one
4. "Things that make ACO" - Nick
5.How the Acolyte intends to break his celibacy (with details)! - Mocha!
So 5 more slots!I will start with the easiest one....My pet peeves!Coming soon.......
1.Sleeping Attire - Stunuh
2.My pet peeves - Shiroh
3.Life in the "ville" - Devious one
4. "Things that make ACO" - Nick
5.How the Acolyte intends to break his celibacy (with details)! - Mocha!
So 5 more slots!I will start with the easiest one....My pet peeves!Coming soon.......
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The people's choice!
I have several papers and a presentation weighing down on me this week.So my mind may not be able to produce one of my usual stunning, wonderful, deeply insightful and humorus posts that you all know and love!So instead what I am going to do is to take the first acceptable 10 topics offered by you bloggers and readers out there and write posts on them.Okay people get cracking!
Monday, April 17, 2006
The Creation of The Acolyte
For those of you who don't like reading stories, please scroll down to the last paragraph!
In a universe millions of light years away exist alien races whose intelligence and development is eons ahead of us.They have evolved to a stage where they have developed powers that make them virtual gods.The names of these two races are the Waliotulia and Wenyekuzusha. The ethos that drives these two races has been in opposition for thousands of years and they have often gone to war time and time again!
Their power wielded in these wars has been enough to jump start the sun several times over.The alien race of Hawajiwezi was decimated when the orbit of their planet placed them in the path of their cosmic fallout.After seeing this mindless loss of life the council of elders for both planets met at a neutral site.To end this war they decided that they would place the seed of both of their individual powers with an individual from a neutral race.When that individual came of age and realised the full extent of his abilities, his dual heritage would place him in the perfect position to act as the peacekeeper of both races.Both races sent out their heralds who flying serveral hundred times the speed of light scoured the universe.Their search brought them to the planet earth.Human beings were the perfect race as their primal biological and spiritual state made them the perfect vessels for the hybrid essence.
The Heralds of Waliotulia and Wenyekuzusha approach Earth
It was 28 years ago to this day when they approached the earth and at this same point a child was being born.They imbued this child with their respective essences and returned to their galaxies.The primitive nature of human beings and the fact that both races vowed to interfere as little as possible ensures that it will be upto this human to discover his destiny.Who was this blessed human being?Why of course myself, The Acolyte!Over time my powers have manifested themselves in two different personas; one being more like the tranquil, peaceful easy going Waliotulia and the other being more like the imperialistic, dark
Wenyekuzusha and my everyday human self stuck in the middle!
Dark Acolyte
Benevolent Acolyte
ps:Time to lay off the Cartoon Network!
Anyway enough of me regaling you with my tales of greatness.One more year gone and I must admit that in some ways I am at a totally different place then I was last year.I have made new friends and lost old ones, learned new things and unlearned old things.Do I feel older?Not really because physically I feel great (thanks to lots of gym and walking!) plus it's good to see the plans that I had for my life coming to fruition as one year ago I felt that my life was in a holding pattern.Anyway for you who have been visiting my blog, Thanks a lot!And Happy Acolyte Day!
In a universe millions of light years away exist alien races whose intelligence and development is eons ahead of us.They have evolved to a stage where they have developed powers that make them virtual gods.The names of these two races are the Waliotulia and Wenyekuzusha. The ethos that drives these two races has been in opposition for thousands of years and they have often gone to war time and time again!
Their power wielded in these wars has been enough to jump start the sun several times over.The alien race of Hawajiwezi was decimated when the orbit of their planet placed them in the path of their cosmic fallout.After seeing this mindless loss of life the council of elders for both planets met at a neutral site.To end this war they decided that they would place the seed of both of their individual powers with an individual from a neutral race.When that individual came of age and realised the full extent of his abilities, his dual heritage would place him in the perfect position to act as the peacekeeper of both races.Both races sent out their heralds who flying serveral hundred times the speed of light scoured the universe.Their search brought them to the planet earth.Human beings were the perfect race as their primal biological and spiritual state made them the perfect vessels for the hybrid essence.
The Heralds of Waliotulia and Wenyekuzusha approach Earth
It was 28 years ago to this day when they approached the earth and at this same point a child was being born.They imbued this child with their respective essences and returned to their galaxies.The primitive nature of human beings and the fact that both races vowed to interfere as little as possible ensures that it will be upto this human to discover his destiny.Who was this blessed human being?Why of course myself, The Acolyte!Over time my powers have manifested themselves in two different personas; one being more like the tranquil, peaceful easy going Waliotulia and the other being more like the imperialistic, dark
Wenyekuzusha and my everyday human self stuck in the middle!
Dark Acolyte
Benevolent Acolyte
ps:Time to lay off the Cartoon Network!
Anyway enough of me regaling you with my tales of greatness.One more year gone and I must admit that in some ways I am at a totally different place then I was last year.I have made new friends and lost old ones, learned new things and unlearned old things.Do I feel older?Not really because physically I feel great (thanks to lots of gym and walking!) plus it's good to see the plans that I had for my life coming to fruition as one year ago I felt that my life was in a holding pattern.Anyway for you who have been visiting my blog, Thanks a lot!And Happy Acolyte Day!
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