After writing this post 2 different ways and none meeting my criteria.I have decided to make this simple.The American dream is seen as a wonderful spouse, a beautiful house in the surburbs (with a white picket fence!), 2 kids, 2 cars and a dog.
I would like to know what you would have to have in your life for you to say that you have achieved the Kenyan dream.Where would you live, what would you own (or not own), who would you hang out with, what would you eat, what would you drive (or not drive), what would your hobbies be?
I know there are other things that you can add and please feel free to do so.Kenyan society be it at home and abroad is very diverse but I would like to know if there is anything we have in common when it comes to aspirations.
Comment as long and as much as you want!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Mothers, sons , rationalisation and other things
Do you remember in high school when we were asked to write an essay and at times to take up words if the topic on hand would be something like The role of mentors in my life, this is how the essay would begin;
The word mentor is defined by the Collins Dictionary as a wise or trusted adviser or guide. Youth is a pivotal period in a young person's life and during this time they need.......
Anyway I am going to write a post on the ability of the human mind to rationalise anything so here goes.Rationalise is defined by the Collins Dictionary as;
1. to justify (one's actions, esp discreditable actions, or beliefs) with plausible reasons, esp after the event
2. to indulge, often unchallenged, in excuses for or explanations of (behaviour about which one feels uncomfortable or guilty)
3. to apply logic or reason to (something)
I was talking to the Derailer (the gal who got me off the train) and she was telling me about her big brother and her big sister.I met her big brother once and at the time I thought that he was younger then her.I asked her what he did for a living and she told me that she didn't want to talk about it.She later opened up and told me that he was actually older then her, around 32 and was a bum.All he does in her words in watch TV and get high on weed (paid for be Mummy dearest).
She told me that her mum had sent him to a private uni (Devry - not very cheap!) and 2 colleges and he had purposely flunked out of both of them.He also refused to get any job.So the derailer asked her mum why she doesn't get firm on him and she answered her saying that it isn't his fault that he is like that as their dad was in the Navy and as a result was away for months on end once he was away for one year.The derailer told her mum that that's b.s as there are single mothers who have raised sons with no problems, the mum replied that it's much harder for boys and that she doesn't understand.For every objection and point that she would come up with to tell her mum that it was time to get firm on her brother or show him the door, she would get a counter point from the mum.
It is rather obvious to all (o.k not to all) concerned that their are changes needed but the mum refuses to see this and act.Oh and the dad doesnt talk to the son at all.It just reminds me of another akataa (African American) girl I met who told me that she has a low opinion of akataa men as most of them are over coddled by their mothers and cannot take care of themselves and take responsibility for their lives.I have lived in two diff apartments with black men and in the first the apartment was very clean but culinary skills here only extended to taking the Big Mac out of the box and putting it into the microwave, in the second apartment there was a better display of skills ie using Hamburger Helper so I cannot reliably say that most of them can't take care of themselves (No typecasting here!) Now before you flay me it happens across all racial lines and back home too, but I am focussing on what I have experiences among black people that I know here.
Anyway statistics say that over 70% of children in African American homes are brought up by single mothers.Of course apart from blaming the men for being hit and run artistes, we could say this is also contributed to by the high incaceration rate for African American males in the U.S of A.So alot of these kids have fathers in the pen that they don't see.So in some cases it could be said that these mothers who are guilty of pampering their sons do so to make up for the fact that they don't have fathers around; even though in derailers case their father was not in the pen (penitentiary).
So I know this will earn me the ire of many single parent campaigners out there but is it possible that at times when there is only one parent, that they tend to overcompensate in one area ie being to strict or being too lax and this kind of parenting is what can lead to the situation as discussed above?
Anyway talking about rationalisation her big sister who turning 30 is one of these women who defines herself by her men and the approval she gets from them.The derailer once told me about how she had this dude who she would only get to see from 1 am usually on weekend nights ( for 10 Aco dollars name me the song that Blackstreet sang about this situation!) this went on for almost one year and she had the nerve to call this guy her boyfriend?!Then she was pregnant the other day by a guy who has 8 kids from 6 different women (and yes she knew about that) but sadly she lost the kid (although on hearing the news her mum wasn't moved as she wasn't too impressed when she heard about the dad and his situation).When I once made fun about Akataa baby mama drama like that I was accussed of throwing stones from my glass house or to use a more African appropriate analogy smoking weed in a hut made out of straw, but I have to ask other then maybe in the rural areas and I still do think that those numbers are a stretch are their many men in Nairobi who have that many children by that many mothers?If it happens alot then I will gladly eat my humble pie.
Derailer on the other hand boosts her self esteem in other ways, she loves her food.The indulgence has began to show, so she complains about it and I give her one of two answers; eat less and eat healthy OR exercise your ass off and you can still eat what you want.Well like most people she makes excuses why she can't do some form of excercise daily but at least she has been trying to go to they gym once in a while so that counts for something.
I am not one of those men who have to talk to their women daily but I do try to send at least a couple of text messages and we do hang out.So this weekend we hung out on Friday and Saturday morning and I called her that same evening.Then today afternoon she texts me to tell me that she went to the gym for 30 mins on the treadmill (I congratulated her) and then she rounds off the text by asking me whether I would have sent her a text message today if she hadn't sent me one first.All of you who have dealt with me know how I can be a kichwa ngumu (hard headed) so I replied with a question, "what do you think?" Please correct me if I am wrong but is the fact that your boyfriend hasn't texted you in a few hours when he called you the night before a matter of concern?
I guess I have become too used to dating women who had so much going on and so much self esteem that if Aco didn't call them or text them in one day they would hardly notice and even if they did they know that he would get around to it eventually.Or was it all an act and do you ladies expect your man to constantly call you and spend time with you failing to which there might be reprecussions?Anyway time for me to shut up before Kenyamusings, Mutumia, Girl Next Door, Shiroh and co jump down my throat!
AOB
This story reminds me of what I miss about the night life back home.In 99% of the joints back home we are all equal unlike here where only the VIP sit down while the rest stand!Ugh!
The word mentor is defined by the Collins Dictionary as a wise or trusted adviser or guide. Youth is a pivotal period in a young person's life and during this time they need.......
Anyway I am going to write a post on the ability of the human mind to rationalise anything so here goes.Rationalise is defined by the Collins Dictionary as;
1. to justify (one's actions, esp discreditable actions, or beliefs) with plausible reasons, esp after the event
2. to indulge, often unchallenged, in excuses for or explanations of (behaviour about which one feels uncomfortable or guilty)
3. to apply logic or reason to (something)
I was talking to the Derailer (the gal who got me off the train) and she was telling me about her big brother and her big sister.I met her big brother once and at the time I thought that he was younger then her.I asked her what he did for a living and she told me that she didn't want to talk about it.She later opened up and told me that he was actually older then her, around 32 and was a bum.All he does in her words in watch TV and get high on weed (paid for be Mummy dearest).
She told me that her mum had sent him to a private uni (Devry - not very cheap!) and 2 colleges and he had purposely flunked out of both of them.He also refused to get any job.So the derailer asked her mum why she doesn't get firm on him and she answered her saying that it isn't his fault that he is like that as their dad was in the Navy and as a result was away for months on end once he was away for one year.The derailer told her mum that that's b.s as there are single mothers who have raised sons with no problems, the mum replied that it's much harder for boys and that she doesn't understand.For every objection and point that she would come up with to tell her mum that it was time to get firm on her brother or show him the door, she would get a counter point from the mum.
It is rather obvious to all (o.k not to all) concerned that their are changes needed but the mum refuses to see this and act.Oh and the dad doesnt talk to the son at all.It just reminds me of another akataa (African American) girl I met who told me that she has a low opinion of akataa men as most of them are over coddled by their mothers and cannot take care of themselves and take responsibility for their lives.I have lived in two diff apartments with black men and in the first the apartment was very clean but culinary skills here only extended to taking the Big Mac out of the box and putting it into the microwave, in the second apartment there was a better display of skills ie using Hamburger Helper so I cannot reliably say that most of them can't take care of themselves (No typecasting here!) Now before you flay me it happens across all racial lines and back home too, but I am focussing on what I have experiences among black people that I know here.
Anyway statistics say that over 70% of children in African American homes are brought up by single mothers.Of course apart from blaming the men for being hit and run artistes, we could say this is also contributed to by the high incaceration rate for African American males in the U.S of A.So alot of these kids have fathers in the pen that they don't see.So in some cases it could be said that these mothers who are guilty of pampering their sons do so to make up for the fact that they don't have fathers around; even though in derailers case their father was not in the pen (penitentiary).
So I know this will earn me the ire of many single parent campaigners out there but is it possible that at times when there is only one parent, that they tend to overcompensate in one area ie being to strict or being too lax and this kind of parenting is what can lead to the situation as discussed above?
Anyway talking about rationalisation her big sister who turning 30 is one of these women who defines herself by her men and the approval she gets from them.The derailer once told me about how she had this dude who she would only get to see from 1 am usually on weekend nights ( for 10 Aco dollars name me the song that Blackstreet sang about this situation!) this went on for almost one year and she had the nerve to call this guy her boyfriend?!Then she was pregnant the other day by a guy who has 8 kids from 6 different women (and yes she knew about that) but sadly she lost the kid (although on hearing the news her mum wasn't moved as she wasn't too impressed when she heard about the dad and his situation).When I once made fun about Akataa baby mama drama like that I was accussed of throwing stones from my glass house or to use a more African appropriate analogy smoking weed in a hut made out of straw, but I have to ask other then maybe in the rural areas and I still do think that those numbers are a stretch are their many men in Nairobi who have that many children by that many mothers?If it happens alot then I will gladly eat my humble pie.
Derailer on the other hand boosts her self esteem in other ways, she loves her food.The indulgence has began to show, so she complains about it and I give her one of two answers; eat less and eat healthy OR exercise your ass off and you can still eat what you want.Well like most people she makes excuses why she can't do some form of excercise daily but at least she has been trying to go to they gym once in a while so that counts for something.
I am not one of those men who have to talk to their women daily but I do try to send at least a couple of text messages and we do hang out.So this weekend we hung out on Friday and Saturday morning and I called her that same evening.Then today afternoon she texts me to tell me that she went to the gym for 30 mins on the treadmill (I congratulated her) and then she rounds off the text by asking me whether I would have sent her a text message today if she hadn't sent me one first.All of you who have dealt with me know how I can be a kichwa ngumu (hard headed) so I replied with a question, "what do you think?" Please correct me if I am wrong but is the fact that your boyfriend hasn't texted you in a few hours when he called you the night before a matter of concern?
I guess I have become too used to dating women who had so much going on and so much self esteem that if Aco didn't call them or text them in one day they would hardly notice and even if they did they know that he would get around to it eventually.Or was it all an act and do you ladies expect your man to constantly call you and spend time with you failing to which there might be reprecussions?Anyway time for me to shut up before Kenyamusings, Mutumia, Girl Next Door, Shiroh and co jump down my throat!
AOB
This story reminds me of what I miss about the night life back home.In 99% of the joints back home we are all equal unlike here where only the VIP sit down while the rest stand!Ugh!
Friday, June 09, 2006
Cooking and the sink
I remember blogging about how we act alot like our parents a few months ago, yesterday I found myself at it again.
When I was young my mum used to give me basic cooking classes.So rest assurred The Acolyte would never starve.Being the young attention lad with the attention deficit that I was I would be too impatient to tend to what was on the cooker and instead I would run off to watch TV or play outside.Of course what would happen is that I would be alerted by an acrid smell coming from the kitchen and a cloud of smoke billowing from the pan or if I was lucky I would come back to find that half the contents have stuck to the bottom of the pan.After my mum realised that her lambasting was falling on deaf ears she resorted to giving me a hearty helping of my ashy cuisine.As a result I learned to pay attention to what I was cooking and to enable me to still watch TV as I cooked I would stay only for the fast cooking stuff like onions and tomatoes and then know how long it takes the other ingredients to get ready so that I would just pop in at various intervals to stir, add or reduce heat and serve while I continued doing what I was doing (yes we men can multi-task too!).
So yesterday evening I come into the house and walk into the kitchen and find that my room mate has decided to try his hand at cooking.First thing I had noticed is that he was cooking almost a whole pack of rice.Unless I have guests I prefer to cook a couple of glasses because when you cook too much food it ends up going to waste as you get tired of eating it and also just in case the recipe goes wrong for some reason you don't lose too much food (yes I don't like to waste food).Then he had adopted a cooking style that is said to be favoured by our compatriots from the Central Province.The young man had thrown in the vegetables with the rice (don't get me wrong, that may work for some people but I tend to be a purist; unless it is pilau the rice is cooked on it's own).
But I didn't tell the young lad all this.All I did was look at the temperature settings he had on the cooker.The heat was too low so what we would have had is ugali, so I upped the heat and told him that after 10 mins he should come and check on the rice so as to lower the heat and that it would be ready in 20 mins (the cooker was the same model as the one in my old aparment so I know the best temperatures for cooking rice on it). The young lad nodded dutifully and I told him that I was off to the library and would be back.
On my return as I walked into the house.The first thing that hit my nose was a faint burning smell reminiscent of my cooking lessons of the yester years.I went to the kitchen and looked at the rice.Not it hadn't been reduced to an ashy mass but it still had a burnt smell to it.The bad thing about that is that a burned smell translates to a slightly burned taste.
So I go to my roommates room as ask him what happened to the rice.
"It burned," he says."No sh*t sherlock! I wouldn't have guessed that!"I thought to myself.
So I then said, "Didn't I give instructions?"
He simply gave me this incredulous that insinuated that I had said the moon comes out at night instead of the day.I held back myself from uttering the words my mother had uttered to me some years back after I made some rice flambe, "The next time you burn food like that, you will eat the whole pan."
I mean after all I am not his mother!Then today morning I caught myself again.
I went to the kitchen and I looked at the sink and what do I find?Yesterday's dishes!Arrrghhhh!
(I am sure you all know about my sink issues) I have this simple rule, I you use it; you clean it.Since he had left and I was not in the mood to talk, I put a notice on the fridge.
No dishes sleeping in the sink,
If you make someting dirty,
WASH IT ASAP!
But that got me to thinking.Maybe I am not as easy to live with as I thought, or is it that some people are just slobs who can't clean after themselves when it comes to the small things?
Have a good weekend and enjoy the World Cup!
When I was young my mum used to give me basic cooking classes.So rest assurred The Acolyte would never starve.Being the young attention lad with the attention deficit that I was I would be too impatient to tend to what was on the cooker and instead I would run off to watch TV or play outside.Of course what would happen is that I would be alerted by an acrid smell coming from the kitchen and a cloud of smoke billowing from the pan or if I was lucky I would come back to find that half the contents have stuck to the bottom of the pan.After my mum realised that her lambasting was falling on deaf ears she resorted to giving me a hearty helping of my ashy cuisine.As a result I learned to pay attention to what I was cooking and to enable me to still watch TV as I cooked I would stay only for the fast cooking stuff like onions and tomatoes and then know how long it takes the other ingredients to get ready so that I would just pop in at various intervals to stir, add or reduce heat and serve while I continued doing what I was doing (yes we men can multi-task too!).
So yesterday evening I come into the house and walk into the kitchen and find that my room mate has decided to try his hand at cooking.First thing I had noticed is that he was cooking almost a whole pack of rice.Unless I have guests I prefer to cook a couple of glasses because when you cook too much food it ends up going to waste as you get tired of eating it and also just in case the recipe goes wrong for some reason you don't lose too much food (yes I don't like to waste food).Then he had adopted a cooking style that is said to be favoured by our compatriots from the Central Province.The young man had thrown in the vegetables with the rice (don't get me wrong, that may work for some people but I tend to be a purist; unless it is pilau the rice is cooked on it's own).
But I didn't tell the young lad all this.All I did was look at the temperature settings he had on the cooker.The heat was too low so what we would have had is ugali, so I upped the heat and told him that after 10 mins he should come and check on the rice so as to lower the heat and that it would be ready in 20 mins (the cooker was the same model as the one in my old aparment so I know the best temperatures for cooking rice on it). The young lad nodded dutifully and I told him that I was off to the library and would be back.
On my return as I walked into the house.The first thing that hit my nose was a faint burning smell reminiscent of my cooking lessons of the yester years.I went to the kitchen and looked at the rice.Not it hadn't been reduced to an ashy mass but it still had a burnt smell to it.The bad thing about that is that a burned smell translates to a slightly burned taste.
So I go to my roommates room as ask him what happened to the rice.
"It burned," he says."No sh*t sherlock! I wouldn't have guessed that!"I thought to myself.
So I then said, "Didn't I give instructions?"
He simply gave me this incredulous that insinuated that I had said the moon comes out at night instead of the day.I held back myself from uttering the words my mother had uttered to me some years back after I made some rice flambe, "The next time you burn food like that, you will eat the whole pan."
I mean after all I am not his mother!Then today morning I caught myself again.
I went to the kitchen and I looked at the sink and what do I find?Yesterday's dishes!Arrrghhhh!
(I am sure you all know about my sink issues) I have this simple rule, I you use it; you clean it.Since he had left and I was not in the mood to talk, I put a notice on the fridge.
No dishes sleeping in the sink,
If you make someting dirty,
WASH IT ASAP!
But that got me to thinking.Maybe I am not as easy to live with as I thought, or is it that some people are just slobs who can't clean after themselves when it comes to the small things?
Have a good weekend and enjoy the World Cup!
It just makes me sick
I read this story in The Standard and I was appalled.What is the world coming to?I know bullying is a fact of life in high school but when it extends to sodomy, that is unacceptable!I know that some people have their own sick sexual predilections and they are entitled to them behind closed doors but to force them on someone is just depraved.Fact is that it would have been easy for them to sneak out of the school to find someone willing to partake in their shennanigans and enjoy it to boot.
I have a feeling that this isn't the first time that rabble have done something like that as they even had drugs on hand to render their victim immobile.I wouldn't be suprised if the same thing happens in those up country high schools where the administration turn a blind eye to bullying.
Even though the damage has been done, I think that the book should be thrown at those animals and they should be tried as adults and put behind bars for as soon as possible so they can each get a chance to be someone's bitch for a change.
Regular programming will resume soon
I have a feeling that this isn't the first time that rabble have done something like that as they even had drugs on hand to render their victim immobile.I wouldn't be suprised if the same thing happens in those up country high schools where the administration turn a blind eye to bullying.
Even though the damage has been done, I think that the book should be thrown at those animals and they should be tried as adults and put behind bars for as soon as possible so they can each get a chance to be someone's bitch for a change.
Regular programming will resume soon
Thursday, June 08, 2006
While others live large others live small
...without any finance or income at all.I remember that line from a verse by Kenyan rapper Bamboo.
That line came into my mind after I read this article.It seems that our kleptocrats latest lair has been laid bare for our eyes to see.These exclusive villas are not advertised so you have to be part of the right crowd to hear about them. This luxurious enclave is owned by the Kenyatta Family (Why am I not surprised) and as the article points out only the high and mighty can afford to live here.
A price tag of 8,500,000 - 10,000, 000 is used to keep out the hoi polloi.
"It boasts elaborate recreation facilities such as an expansive golf course, a tennis court, swimming pools and an all-weather airstrip that are all available to residents at a discounted fee."
Talk about opulence!Instead of having to drive on the bad roads that are a result of their mismanagement of public funds our knuckle head MPs (Fred Gumo,Raphael Tuju, George Saitoti and Uhuru Kenyatta) can just fly in.Add to this the fact that the estate is 13km from highway so they can enjoy their spoils without any disturbance whatsoever from any locals (I doubt they would be let in anyway).
I have nothing against people living like this on hard earned money but it galls me when money from the public coffers is used to bankroll this lifestyle.Someone correct me if I am wrong but I read somewhere that Kenya has now surpassed Brazil in terms of unequal distribution of wealth among society.When I read this article I am not surprised, and instead of dealing with it; it is easier to establish enclaves where you don't have to see the poor and deal with them.Build your own walled city and just fly in and out when you want to.What I wonder is how long will this state of affairs continue before the hungry masses stage an uprising?It may seem unlikely but it has happened in other countries before and it can happen in Kenya too.
That line came into my mind after I read this article.It seems that our kleptocrats latest lair has been laid bare for our eyes to see.These exclusive villas are not advertised so you have to be part of the right crowd to hear about them. This luxurious enclave is owned by the Kenyatta Family (Why am I not surprised) and as the article points out only the high and mighty can afford to live here.
A price tag of 8,500,000 - 10,000, 000 is used to keep out the hoi polloi.
"It boasts elaborate recreation facilities such as an expansive golf course, a tennis court, swimming pools and an all-weather airstrip that are all available to residents at a discounted fee."
Talk about opulence!Instead of having to drive on the bad roads that are a result of their mismanagement of public funds our knuckle head MPs (Fred Gumo,Raphael Tuju, George Saitoti and Uhuru Kenyatta) can just fly in.Add to this the fact that the estate is 13km from highway so they can enjoy their spoils without any disturbance whatsoever from any locals (I doubt they would be let in anyway).
I have nothing against people living like this on hard earned money but it galls me when money from the public coffers is used to bankroll this lifestyle.Someone correct me if I am wrong but I read somewhere that Kenya has now surpassed Brazil in terms of unequal distribution of wealth among society.When I read this article I am not surprised, and instead of dealing with it; it is easier to establish enclaves where you don't have to see the poor and deal with them.Build your own walled city and just fly in and out when you want to.What I wonder is how long will this state of affairs continue before the hungry masses stage an uprising?It may seem unlikely but it has happened in other countries before and it can happen in Kenya too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
