Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Drama Post part 2!

First things first....mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. I apologise for taking so long to do part 2 of this post, but other things came up. Anyway on with the show!

The summer break was a few days away. Mvaite was in a sour mood, he had sent all his documents to Meru Ohio State University so that he could transfer and be out of the 'ville and with his kinsmen. The sad thing is that his documents had gotten lost in the mail, what was even worse was when he related the story to Aco and he looked at him like he was an idiot for sending original documents to the school. How was he supposed to know? After all it was his uncle and dad are the ones who got him into the damned school! What's done is done, he thought to himself; anyway he could use Mary to keep him entertained while he tried to hook up with the blonde from the bookstore.

Mary was happy that the mid-semester break was coming up. She was enjoying her classes, when she could understand the Professor's accent. She found it hard enough to do presentations because half of the time the other students said they couldn't understand her, so over time she began imitating their smooth accents. She thought she must have been doing a great job because when she did a draft presentation to Mvaite and Acolyte, they were so happy that tears of joy and laughter overwhelmed them. It was so good to have house mates like them during times like these.

But irregardless, she wondered why during the class where all 10 students sat round the conference table; some of the girls in the class would twist their noses periodically and whisper about her out of earshot. They must be jealous of her,she thought to herself. She shared this class with the Acolyte, and it was good to have a familiar face in the class even though he always sat on the other end of the class. He must be trying to take advantage of the white girl he sits next to in class, and doesnt want her to know. She also wondered why Acolyte always had to talk in class, during her 8-4-4 years she managed to get far enough by sitting in the back of the class, writing notes and sleeping. Why didn't Acolyte want to do things the easier way; she thought to herself. There was an 800 page book on Abraham Lincoln, she and Acolyte as the two graduate students in the class had read and present on. This is when she missed University back home, where she could remain in her room in the dorm or just sink in her seat in the lecture hall that contained 200 plus students, to make things worse the Acolyte had been reading the book in earnest and asked her if she wanted to borrow it? Why in the world would he ask her something like that, she wondered? It's about time he learned that one didn't have to do everything the professor asked.

Mary's wondered what was going on between her and Mvaite. She could not forget how he ravaged her with his fingers as Lil Jon played in the background. He wanted to go further but she doubted she could handle all thundering 2 inches of him after she felt it digging into her on the first night they danced (I know I'm wrong for that but I had to take some literary liberties!).
Things got even more confusing when during one of their heated hands on sessions, his phone rang; she could over hear him talking to another woman. What was even more shocking was when he started telling the girl how much he missed her and how he would like to "bonyeza" her one more time. She made a mental note to ask him what that meant later on, when he put the phone down he asked him who he was talking to; he told her it was an old girlfriend from back home. She nodded her head and said that made sense.

Meanwhile, Kendi was glad to get her transfer forms from Ungabunga Technical Institute. At least soon she would be free from the 'ville and be able to make the big bucks in Atlanta while she stayed with her aunt. She couldn't wait for the break to come so she could go see Philip in Utah. Philip was a boy from her town whom she had always liked but he had a steady girlfriend. When he heard she was in the country he contacted her and told her that he would love to see her as he would like to get in touch with a familiar face. She resolved not to let the opportunity to snag him even if it was for one weekend only escape, she just hoped that her now soon to be ex boyfriend from back home did not call her on her cell phone when the two of them were together. This was going to be a great break for her, she could feel it!

part 3. The New Year rolls round. Things don't go according to plan and some new Kenyans enter the mix!

Friday, January 12, 2007

The Drama Post

I have done as much research as possible and I think I am now ready to share the drama that is now going on in my soon to be alma mater.

Before I begin, let me give a brief background of the events and the characters involved. First of all there is my former room mate, whom I will refer to as Mvaite (this is due to his his quintessential Meru character). There are also these 2 chics who came in last sem that were living with us, I shall call them Mary and Kendi. So Mary is the grad student chic who I blogged about some time earlier that has an aversion to deo, the i.q of a padlock and the drive of a sloth. Kendi is an undergraduate student and was pretty down to earth.

So Mvaite used to let the chics watch tv and listen to music in his room since they didnt own any of the simple electronic diversions we are all used to. One afternoon after a hard day's work Mvaite walks into his room to find Mary attempting to emulate some dance moves she had seen on MTV. When she saw Mvaite, she asked him how they dance in clubs since she had never been to one. Mvaite was all too glad to be a teacher and positioned himself behind her, he slowly began to grind against her as is done in the clubs. This went on for a few minutes and after a while Mvaite noticed that Mary was getting very flustered. He decided this was his chance and slowly caressed the side of her body, Mary seemed to like this. So he became bolder and put her on his bed. He then proceeded to do a yellow pages (he let his fingers do the walking) all over her. This went on for almost an hour with her ending up topless but he did not go all the way because she had never done so and was scared.
These clandestine meetings happened regularly when Aco was away or locked up in his room reading diligently or working on a term paper.

Meanwhile Kendi was working on transferring to a 2 year college in a bigger town closer to where her relatives lived, instead of remaining in the rustic settings of the 'ville. Mary on the other hand had not put enough effort into finding a job with one of the graduate departments which would have subsidised her school fees, so she had to pay a tidy chunk of change during her first semester; she seemed oblivious to the fact that she had to get a position that would pay for her next semster's fees. The semester slowly ground to a halt with everyone relaxed looking forward to the new semster.
They wouldn't have been looking forward to the end of the semester if they new what they New Year had to bring........

Part 2 - The Drama begins!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Rock The Vote!

Some people think I hate on Kenyans abroad. That my dear comrades is not the case, I just think that some of them are apt to excess drama. Now there is some drama that has come to a head involving Kenyans in my uni. I had actually done a draft post about it when the seeds were planted, but decided not to post it. Now there are some new Kenyans who have checked in and they have added to some of the drama. When I heard what was going down I was glad I left the 'ville when I did.
Now the real question is should I do a post about it, or should I let the drama continue festering away from our eyes?
Please vote in the comments section (no multiple voting please) and your votes will decide if the post is written or not.

Damn! This post reads like one of those sleazy A4 papers sold on Uhuru Highway ie Buy our bumper edition to find out about Kenya's latest Parliamentary sex scandals.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

How Soon, How Sad and How Interesting

A question for the ladies. How soon is too soon when finally agreeing to go to bed with a man? I know most of you will say the first night is too soon, but I have met women who have said that if the connection is there it could happen. This is a tricky question that often adds to the issues between men and women, we all like to have firm resolves as regards it but that isn't often the case. I'd like to get people's thoughts on this (both male and female), and please be honest!

Moving on Mushir Salem Jawher, born Leonard Mucheru is screwed! After giving up his Kenyan citizenship to become a Bahraini national, he had his citizenship revoked after running in an Israeli marathon. It seems that he didn't read the small print on the dotted line. To add insult to injury Kenyan authorities have refused to give him back Kenyan nationality thus rendering him stateless. I like many other Kenyans am a big supporter of dual citizenship but since the current constitution doesn't allow it, Mushir/Leonard chose to become Bahraini to pad his wallet and uplift his living standards. But I doubt the law books ever envisioned his current quandry, his next course of action? The Terminal I guess.

For those of you who harbour and interest in African news but would like an African opinion devoid of the Western bias; I came across African Path. As a reader I find it very convienient to be able to get African sports, business, politics and current affairs on one page; as opposed to jumping from page to page and being restricted to only "major" events on many other sites. In addition to the up to date reporting, the site also hosts links to several African based or centered blogs and has several bloggers whose work appears on the site ( I intend on doing a weekly commentary of sorts sometime in the future). I do think that this fledgling site is a good platform for African bloggers and examination of issues relevant to Africa as a whole, so do pass by it when you can! By Africa for Africans!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Skewed Statistics and Nuptials Nonsense

Lesson of the week. Save, save, save. I lost 2 posts last week, I should have learned to save the draft after I lost the first one. Moving on.....

Some bored journalists at the Nation decided sometime last week to post an article saying that 63% of Kenyan women will never get married. I think that is a big bag of money back gauranteed cow dung!

There is this saying that goes, "there's lies, lies and damn statistics!". I would like to see the size of the sample they used, if it went across all social classes, religions and parts of Kenya. I do agree that the number of marriages may be going down among the middle class but we all know that Kenya isn't a middle class nation at all. There is a large percentage of Kenyans who are pushing the 1 dollar day budget, but the fact that they are doing so doesn't prevent them from getting hitched and having kids. More of them may opt for traditional ceremonies or come we stay but they still get hitched. It's the middle class folk among us who are experiencing the down turn in wedding matrimony numbers. There are a number of factors ranging from men wanting to get the money to "maintain" women, women wanting to hook up with "established" men, people spending more time on their careers and the lessening pressure to get married in many quarters.

Anyway I feel talking anymore about that shambles of a survey will give it's findings some legitimacy. Besides what's this hulaballo about marriage about anyhow? People seem to be so into giving relationship advice, finding you the "one", telling you how to keep the one and all sorts of half assed advice. That reminds me of sometime during the days when I thought that the Acolyte could be guided by organised religion and went for a church meeting. Yes, I had my church days. Anyway after the meeting we got to chatting and that topic came about (is it me or are church folk just in love with the concept of getting married?); anyhow the girl I was talking to says, "you are not whole until you find the other person God has created for you" at that point I gave her the Acolyte eyebrow and said, " I was not created half a person" and then proceeded to add insult to injury by saying that if what she said made sense there would be one man for every woman born. We all know that mortality rates according to gender differ. Some other churches even have Singles Ministries, how come I didn't see Singles mentioned among the groups that should be ministered to and among the first ministries that were created in the early church. Anyone out there would like to answer that for me?

The End is nigh...........


50 cent and book deal? Now those are 2 words I didn't expect to see in the same sentence, I never thought that the average G-unit fan read books that didn't have pictures or pin-ups in them. Coming soon.... G-unit Boys Academy!