I was reading this article in the Pulse, and I came to two conclusions about Cess Mutungi. One, this girl really gets around; Two, she doesn't get around but someone at Standard hates her guts. I never did get to see her in action, so I can't give a first hand report but I have heard from some very reputable sources so it does seem that some of those accusations have some merit.
What irked me is the fact that I am sure that alot of male celebs get around as much even if not more so but there was hardly anything written about it. In fact the whole article was a bit thread bare if you ask me. But if there is one thing The Standard will never be accused of is World Class reporting.
Another Dumb Ass
Eric Gichaga Kariuki, 22 from XXXX XXXX in Sandy Springs, Georgia was arrested when he tried to pass a check at the "Ace Checks Cashed" store. The check was pitiful in nature, having been crudely altered using tape and so on. It was made to Kariuki for over $900. The actual owner of the check was called and, confirmed the forgery, and came to the location as did the cops. Kariuki said he got the check from an unknown man at XXXXX apartments. He was taken to XXXX jail.
My take on this? I know life in the States is hard but there are smarter ways of getting your hustle on. First of all, you don't want to pass a fake check and a check cashing establishment. Why? This is because this is the joint where they have seen every attempted scam and are always on the up and up; you are better of trying to pass a check at a Bank.
Second, when you cash a check you have to give picture ID. Unless you have made a fake ID, you will be busted, if not then it will be later.
Congratulations for doing your best to place us in the same books as the brodas, Kenyans are being mentioned in the media here for all the wrong reasons.
Quote Of The Week
"Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look in the mirror, and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus"
A German Bus Driver, demanding in July that a 20 year old passenger in a low cut shirt move from his line of vision.
If that isn't dedication to your work then I don't know what is.
And in local news, time and again I have read, heard and experienced how the lack of expansion on Kenyan roads is leading to total grid lock. The question I ask, is the Government going to wait until Nairobi turns into a very large slow moving parking lot till something is done?
Anyway before I leave let me leave you all with a jewel. I recently discovered Goapele, if you are a fan of neo soul and R n B, you have to get hold of her music. To be frank it disgusts me how MTV and the other big record companies give such talented artistes so little air-time while giving other less talented musicians loads of air-time. Pathetic really.
Have a nice Monday all!
Ps: You know the world is small when you go for a Kenyatta day bash for Kenyans and you meet your ex-girlfriends best pal who you last saw like 6 years ago! Anyway time to get back to the grind.....
Monday, October 22, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
An Iconoclast Leaves Us, Long Walks and other things.....
I was reading the story of the life and times of the great Professor Toweett, and in many ways I admire and aspire to be like him. You see a pal of mine used to live near him and used to regal me with tales of his bohemian and eccentric lifestyle. You have to admire a man who chose to live his life how he wanted to live irregardless of what people say and thought and even in blatant disregard of tradition (how many Africans have you ever heard of bequeathing their bodies for research?) and pursued many seemingly aimless projects. This man broke with tradition in many areas and did what he wanted without giving a damn what people thought and I am sure that even if they didnt tell him to his face, many people respected him. That is the kind of inner strength I want to work towards, to be able to do what I want to do, how I want to do it irregardless of what role or expectation society has for me. The Prof may be gone but he will live on in the minds and hearts of many.
Moving on, don't ask me how this came to my head but how many of you remember the way cops in Kenya would go on patrol and would pick up "idlers" and if you had no cash to bribe you would be made to take a long long walk with them. Yes Udi I am looking at you! I remember a pal of mine told me her story. I don't know how many of you are familiar with South C, you see this chic used to live near the mosque and was outside the gate of the house talking to a guy pal in her bed clad (tracks and a t-shirt); when two cops on patrol walked by unexpectedly. After the usual niceties the two of them were asked to identify themselves and when they couldn't they were asked, nay told to join the rest of the walkers. Lets just say the two of them were finally let go a few yards away from the Nyayo stadium police station. I had some other pals who were busted near Gill House and were made to walk with the cops for a few hours, the cops wanted to leave them huko OTC, and it was past mid night; they refused and kept on walking with the cops till they got to a safer part of town. Lucky for me I have never been taken on long walks down desolate city streets, have you.
After getting really homesick, I decided to have some furniture and other things imported for my apartment. Please take a look at chez Aco below......
After a long day at work the Acolyte came home to relax to familiar settings, tea, bread and a week old newspaper flown in just for him
Have a nice day and send me something to add ambiance to my apartment!
Moving on, don't ask me how this came to my head but how many of you remember the way cops in Kenya would go on patrol and would pick up "idlers" and if you had no cash to bribe you would be made to take a long long walk with them. Yes Udi I am looking at you! I remember a pal of mine told me her story. I don't know how many of you are familiar with South C, you see this chic used to live near the mosque and was outside the gate of the house talking to a guy pal in her bed clad (tracks and a t-shirt); when two cops on patrol walked by unexpectedly. After the usual niceties the two of them were asked to identify themselves and when they couldn't they were asked, nay told to join the rest of the walkers. Lets just say the two of them were finally let go a few yards away from the Nyayo stadium police station. I had some other pals who were busted near Gill House and were made to walk with the cops for a few hours, the cops wanted to leave them huko OTC, and it was past mid night; they refused and kept on walking with the cops till they got to a safer part of town. Lucky for me I have never been taken on long walks down desolate city streets, have you.
After getting really homesick, I decided to have some furniture and other things imported for my apartment. Please take a look at chez Aco below......
After a long day at work the Acolyte came home to relax to familiar settings, tea, bread and a week old newspaper flown in just for him
Have a nice day and send me something to add ambiance to my apartment!
Monday, October 08, 2007
Monday Moanings Part IX
I think alongside the annual state of prostitution in Kenya article, the "life is hard abroad" article is also making an at least annual appearance in Kenyan media. This time round The Standard took a shot at telling people the hard reality of life in the States. But the sad thing is that as the article prophesied is that people never ever listen, the saddest/funniest ones are the ones who throw bashes and sell their stuff before they go to the Embassy. I once knew some two sisters who thought the sun revolved around them, they loudly announced they were going to the States and even threw a ginormus bash before going to the Embassy. Needless to say they were both denied and came back with their tales between their legs, I think they opted for a country with less stringent visa regulations but it was a lesson to all of us.
In an ideal world Kenyans shouldn't have to use the States as an escape from the harsh realities of our present existence but what to do? Life is hard for Americans too, but the people who piss me off are the ones who go back home on vacation and make it look like they shop on Rodeo Drive and live in High Rise Condominiums. I say keep it real, if you have to stand on your feet for 8 hours in Walmart then be honest about it, instead of creating false dreams for others. But this isn't to say that it isn't possible to make it in the States, it can be done but it is often a long hard and lonely road.
Anyway moving onto less depressing topics but still depressing. I am sick and tired of hearing and seeing Britney Spears on every other channel on cable. Yes she is going to her trailer park roots and slowly self destructing, but enough already. Like a cat that has been hit by a car, let's let her drag herself into the bushes and expire with some dignity. Damn celebrity obsessed country!
I don't know if you are all aware of this but do you know that VH1, MTV and BET are all owned by VIACOM, not to forget they also own Comedy Central. I think it is pathetic that one company can have so much power over the direction that music takes. They are a perfect example of capitalism being allowed to run amok. It is no surprise that BET's pathetic offerings went from bad to worse when VIACOM took over. Call me a hater but the less small independant media houses we have the less choice viewers and listeners have, I mean unless you have the expanded MTV on Cable when was the last time you saw more than 10 music videos in a row on MTV instead of all the tepid reality TV shows they give us? Another fantastic reason not to have cable..........
I have been reading the last few issues of Nation's Buzz Magazine and it seems that the mark of having made it as a model is getting a white boyfriend/ girlfriend. Kenyans never cease to amaze me, but I guess it is a symbiotic relationship on both sides, the models get to enjoy the nicer things in life that the white folks money can buy while the white folks who probably weren't hot numbers back home now get to have some of the hottest bods for themselves.
Next weekend I have decided that I am going to visit one of the Kenyan churches that are near where I live. I was supposed to go to one this weekend but I decided to sleep in and gave it a miss, and I have no excuse at all because it was an afternoon service. Trying to connect with people by going to the club is a waste of time, so let's see if going during the day helps granted half of the people in the club might be there but what the heck! That reminds me, I caught up with one of my old uni mates recently, the dude is all the way in Chi-town and when he heard that I live in the ATL area he was quick to tell me that he was going to come and stay with me over Thanksgiving. Kenyans have some gall I tell you, they can buy air-tickets for hundreds of dollars, rent cars, buy new outfits, spend hundreds on booze and entrance to events but they would rather pile up 10 people in an apartment instead of paying around $50 per night for a motel. Cheap bastards! Just wait till November comes, the Acolyte is going AWOL!
Ps: If there are any of you that have blogs on or supported by the Wordpress engine for some reason or other I can't comment on those blogs at all. So don't think I dont read your blog, I do comment and nothing at all appears on the other side, I think the god of Wordpress hates me. Oh well, have a good week people....
In an ideal world Kenyans shouldn't have to use the States as an escape from the harsh realities of our present existence but what to do? Life is hard for Americans too, but the people who piss me off are the ones who go back home on vacation and make it look like they shop on Rodeo Drive and live in High Rise Condominiums. I say keep it real, if you have to stand on your feet for 8 hours in Walmart then be honest about it, instead of creating false dreams for others. But this isn't to say that it isn't possible to make it in the States, it can be done but it is often a long hard and lonely road.
Anyway moving onto less depressing topics but still depressing. I am sick and tired of hearing and seeing Britney Spears on every other channel on cable. Yes she is going to her trailer park roots and slowly self destructing, but enough already. Like a cat that has been hit by a car, let's let her drag herself into the bushes and expire with some dignity. Damn celebrity obsessed country!
I don't know if you are all aware of this but do you know that VH1, MTV and BET are all owned by VIACOM, not to forget they also own Comedy Central. I think it is pathetic that one company can have so much power over the direction that music takes. They are a perfect example of capitalism being allowed to run amok. It is no surprise that BET's pathetic offerings went from bad to worse when VIACOM took over. Call me a hater but the less small independant media houses we have the less choice viewers and listeners have, I mean unless you have the expanded MTV on Cable when was the last time you saw more than 10 music videos in a row on MTV instead of all the tepid reality TV shows they give us? Another fantastic reason not to have cable..........
I have been reading the last few issues of Nation's Buzz Magazine and it seems that the mark of having made it as a model is getting a white boyfriend/ girlfriend. Kenyans never cease to amaze me, but I guess it is a symbiotic relationship on both sides, the models get to enjoy the nicer things in life that the white folks money can buy while the white folks who probably weren't hot numbers back home now get to have some of the hottest bods for themselves.
Next weekend I have decided that I am going to visit one of the Kenyan churches that are near where I live. I was supposed to go to one this weekend but I decided to sleep in and gave it a miss, and I have no excuse at all because it was an afternoon service. Trying to connect with people by going to the club is a waste of time, so let's see if going during the day helps granted half of the people in the club might be there but what the heck! That reminds me, I caught up with one of my old uni mates recently, the dude is all the way in Chi-town and when he heard that I live in the ATL area he was quick to tell me that he was going to come and stay with me over Thanksgiving. Kenyans have some gall I tell you, they can buy air-tickets for hundreds of dollars, rent cars, buy new outfits, spend hundreds on booze and entrance to events but they would rather pile up 10 people in an apartment instead of paying around $50 per night for a motel. Cheap bastards! Just wait till November comes, the Acolyte is going AWOL!
Ps: If there are any of you that have blogs on or supported by the Wordpress engine for some reason or other I can't comment on those blogs at all. So don't think I dont read your blog, I do comment and nothing at all appears on the other side, I think the god of Wordpress hates me. Oh well, have a good week people....
Friday, October 05, 2007
U.C.L.A and other things........
I took Monday to Wednesday off work and it was paradise I tell you! Not having to get up early, get clothes ready, fight with traffic and deal with idiots at work. It reminded me of the good old days of bum squad. What is bum squad aka U.C.L.A? Bum Squad and U.C.L.A (United College of Lounging Africa) are colloquial terms for when you finished High School or College and have nothing to do but become a piece of furniture at home.
I remember those days clearly. Those were the days when I knew the line up for Cartoon Network off head. I also recall listening to all the FM morning shows and knowing which ones rocked and which ones sucked big time. During this point in time I also built up a steady network with my fellow Bum Squad members, I would meet them chilling outside the Estate at the designated jobless corner where they would tell each other tall tales, share veve, talk to the touts and harass girls passing by. But there were also the Bum Squad members who spent more time indoors and those were more of my crew, it also didn't help that we all had dvd players and playstation 2s, so alot of stuff changed hands even though at times there was always a bastard who would get careless and lose something.
The other thing I admired about Bum Squad is the unity that most of us had. We could all be verging on brokeness but come Saturday night money would be found to fuel the car and buy cheap pints and the local or venture out if the hustling went well. I recall that was also the time when I was growing my own local imitation on an Osama goatee. The Bum Squad also served as a good information network, when people are hanging out they manage to see and hear alot, and it was amazing what tidbits would fall your way ie which estate chic is the easiest to sleep with.
But as the fates would have it, I gained paid employment so my days with the Bum Squad ended. My life moved on as I moved from job to job and eventually here. The ironic thing is that there was this dude I left on the Bum Squad who was older than me and I hear he is still there representing, I guess some people live and die Bum Squad? Please feel free to share your Bum Squad tales!
In other news, all I can say is that this mama must have had some killer boobies to earn such treatment.
If divorce can lead to me having to take loans, then let me stay single is what I say!
Oh and before I leave, I have this wonderful widget thingie that I put on my blog that lets me know what pages got people to me. And it is amazing what some people think I have on my blog!
No, I don't have Kenyan porn, naked pictures of Nini Wacera, the Lilianne Muli sex tape, Kenyan strippers or teach you the meaning of Dini Ya Msambwa on my blog! I love Google but at times you do me so wrong!
Nice Weekend All..................
I remember those days clearly. Those were the days when I knew the line up for Cartoon Network off head. I also recall listening to all the FM morning shows and knowing which ones rocked and which ones sucked big time. During this point in time I also built up a steady network with my fellow Bum Squad members, I would meet them chilling outside the Estate at the designated jobless corner where they would tell each other tall tales, share veve, talk to the touts and harass girls passing by. But there were also the Bum Squad members who spent more time indoors and those were more of my crew, it also didn't help that we all had dvd players and playstation 2s, so alot of stuff changed hands even though at times there was always a bastard who would get careless and lose something.
The other thing I admired about Bum Squad is the unity that most of us had. We could all be verging on brokeness but come Saturday night money would be found to fuel the car and buy cheap pints and the local or venture out if the hustling went well. I recall that was also the time when I was growing my own local imitation on an Osama goatee. The Bum Squad also served as a good information network, when people are hanging out they manage to see and hear alot, and it was amazing what tidbits would fall your way ie which estate chic is the easiest to sleep with.
But as the fates would have it, I gained paid employment so my days with the Bum Squad ended. My life moved on as I moved from job to job and eventually here. The ironic thing is that there was this dude I left on the Bum Squad who was older than me and I hear he is still there representing, I guess some people live and die Bum Squad? Please feel free to share your Bum Squad tales!
In other news, all I can say is that this mama must have had some killer boobies to earn such treatment.
If divorce can lead to me having to take loans, then let me stay single is what I say!
Oh and before I leave, I have this wonderful widget thingie that I put on my blog that lets me know what pages got people to me. And it is amazing what some people think I have on my blog!
No, I don't have Kenyan porn, naked pictures of Nini Wacera, the Lilianne Muli sex tape, Kenyan strippers or teach you the meaning of Dini Ya Msambwa on my blog! I love Google but at times you do me so wrong!
Nice Weekend All..................
Monday, October 01, 2007
More Monday Moanings
It's been a minute since I posted, like I said when ennui strikes; it strikes hard!
Reason #2138 - Why Acolyte will go to Hell
At work there is this chic who has a close to fanatical commitment to the job. You know the kind of person who actually spouts for you the crap they put in the training manual to make you feel like the job you are doing makes the sun rise and help stop global warming as oppossed to making the Members of the Board richer as you rot in your cubicle.
Anyway some day this chic came to the cube of someone I know and asked him to train someone new and they said no, she then went of on a spiel about how he was one of the leaders of tomorrow and should show the new dudes how it's done so as to make the difference for the company. So he told me this and one thing that got me to wondering about her super commitment to the company is when I found out her age, you see she is 36 so moving somewhere new and trying to make a mark the same way she has where she is now is much harder. We came to that conclusion and I ended the conversation with this quote, " I understand her staying here and making her mark and not wanting to go anywhere else; after all you can't teach an old bitch new tricks..."
Moving on, I went for an interview the other day and I remembered one important thing. It's not what you know but how you say it. The last time I fibbed so convincingly and smoothly, a pair of panties and a bra were taken off. But seriously many interviewers especially here at times will actually put a candidate they feel more of a connection to than one who is more qualified.
Unless you live in a hole I'm sure most of you are aware that there has been a much hyped chart war between Kanye West and 50 Cent. The battle was over who would sell the most units and at the moment Kanye West is in the lead. To be honest, I did listen to both albums and they are both nothing to write home about. But I guess the "beef" did what it was meant to do, sell more cds. I was on-line when I came across this funny video featuring Kanye West making fun of his tantrums whenever he doesn't win an award.
PS: I know there is a post that I owe people, so that one's coming soon.
PPS: When you are "courting" or "buttering up" or whatever you call it when a dude is trying to get to know a woman better with the end result being a relationship or a
semblance of eventually culminating in adult relations (wink, wink); how many women
would be too many unethically for a dude to be talking to at the same time? Just curious.....
Reason #2138 - Why Acolyte will go to Hell
At work there is this chic who has a close to fanatical commitment to the job. You know the kind of person who actually spouts for you the crap they put in the training manual to make you feel like the job you are doing makes the sun rise and help stop global warming as oppossed to making the Members of the Board richer as you rot in your cubicle.
Anyway some day this chic came to the cube of someone I know and asked him to train someone new and they said no, she then went of on a spiel about how he was one of the leaders of tomorrow and should show the new dudes how it's done so as to make the difference for the company. So he told me this and one thing that got me to wondering about her super commitment to the company is when I found out her age, you see she is 36 so moving somewhere new and trying to make a mark the same way she has where she is now is much harder. We came to that conclusion and I ended the conversation with this quote, " I understand her staying here and making her mark and not wanting to go anywhere else; after all you can't teach an old bitch new tricks..."
Moving on, I went for an interview the other day and I remembered one important thing. It's not what you know but how you say it. The last time I fibbed so convincingly and smoothly, a pair of panties and a bra were taken off. But seriously many interviewers especially here at times will actually put a candidate they feel more of a connection to than one who is more qualified.
Unless you live in a hole I'm sure most of you are aware that there has been a much hyped chart war between Kanye West and 50 Cent. The battle was over who would sell the most units and at the moment Kanye West is in the lead. To be honest, I did listen to both albums and they are both nothing to write home about. But I guess the "beef" did what it was meant to do, sell more cds. I was on-line when I came across this funny video featuring Kanye West making fun of his tantrums whenever he doesn't win an award.
PS: I know there is a post that I owe people, so that one's coming soon.
PPS: When you are "courting" or "buttering up" or whatever you call it when a dude is trying to get to know a woman better with the end result being a relationship or a
semblance of eventually culminating in adult relations (wink, wink); how many women
would be too many unethically for a dude to be talking to at the same time? Just curious.....
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