799 Posts and Other Stories

799 posts!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!! Now onto other things. I'm in a pissy mood and then some. I recently came back to work after a 4 day vacation, that and this ongoing cold snap is not doing wonders for my mood. Then of course add the fact that it's been a while since I got any (more on that later).

Anyway have you ever come across one of those situations where anything else you say other than agree makes you look like an ass hole? You see there is this girl I started talking to a month or so back and things are looking good. So of course once you get to know someone a bit better the issue of sex comes up, ole girl says basically she isn't giving it up. I say that as long as she puts it on the table before hand she should be fine when it comes to dating. She tells me that guys she have dated seemed fine with it at first but when the reality dawned, they tried to sway her and of course this led to drama and break up.

I'm going to keep it real and call it like this. Unless the Lord himself has spoken in my ear and told me that she is indeed the one I am meant to be with. Why in the world am I dating a girl and I know I'm not going to get any? No I'm not dating her with the sole purpose of getting some but for me I feel we should connect on an intellectual, emotional and then physical level. Of course if we don't have rapport then it is what it is, we part and keep it moving but at least the implicit understanding is there.

Discussing this issues is easier said than done to be honest. Like many people (male and female) in our generation, before I buy the car there has to be a test drive as the analogy goes. I respect people who say they are going to wait for marriage and all that. I have had my fair share of experiences with lemons and I don't intend on signing the dotted line till I have a test drive. On a serious note I believe in establishing that you have have that physical compatibility. Sex isn't a big thing in a relationship when it's good but when it's bad it becomes a very big thing, believe me. Some people say that if at first you are incompatible you can work on it. I disagree with this, sexual attitudes are not just physical behaviours but also have alot of personal history behind them. A partner may not like doing something you see as routine due to some attitude formed by religion or maybe even personal trauma in the past. So that's not a hurdle that's easily overcome in many occasions it just isn't as simple as people try and make it out to be. It has often been said that if the sex is good in the relationship it counts for 20% but if the sex is bad it counts for 80%, I do believe that is true; once you have problems in the bedroom they bleed into the relationship.

Anyway despite my strong call for fornication, I for one after if I get to that point with this chic will respect her decision. No ifs and buts, after all it's her vagina; what she puts in it or doesn't is completely up to her. So stop calling me a dyck for not being down for a chic who wants to keep the goodies locked up.

In other news I'm considering taking a very personal turn in my blogging come 2009, as a result I may have to go either invite only or not allow anon comments. As I got to know my commentors over time I came to the fine realization that I have slowly but surely began playing for the crowds and that is something I never intended to do when I started blogging. My blogging was for me and me alone but we all know that not everything goes according to plan. Anyway I shall give it some thought and see what direction I go.

ps: just realized this was a draft I published before completing so if any ideas come off as half baked that's why, I didn't get a chance to iron it out.

Happy New Year To All!

Operation Mtandao And Other Stories..........

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I Thought It Would Never Come........

As you can tell I'm talking about Friday. I was getting tired of the dilbertesque stuff that goes on at work, I promise I will blog about it. I've learned how to roll with the punches and keep my head down.

Anyway I came across this and it made my blood boil. I know Africans get screwed in the name of charity but now to get literally screwed in the name of charity, that's a bit much. I also wonder what kind of exotic STDs this chic might have after going around the world screwing in the name of charity.

Over Thanksgiving when I went to the Kenyan club, I had had a few drinks before getting there to help the experience go down faster (you do know by now clubs bore me stiff). So as I was going to the bar to recharge I see this dude whose head is barely at the bar and he seems to be holding himself up by his forarms. So in my head the first thing I thought, "did these bastids ship in chang'aa or some other moonshine?"

So I go closer to the bar to see if I can find out if the the dude is fine. As I got closer I then realized he was a little person aka midget. Needless to say I was glad I hadn't been expressing those thoughts to someone otherwise I would have looked like a fool.

Looking at this, I'm glad I don't eat alot of fast food. Sad thing is that that isn't the only fast food joint where staff have been busted messing around in the sink. Speaking of hygiene and such, anyone remember how butchers in Kenya would always have their coats slathered in blood, looking like they hadn't been washed in weeks; but funny enough that didn't affect the flavour of the meat? I won't even go into how the meat itself was handled being tossed in the back of pick ups, but since we are here in one piece I won't complain.

Anyway before I leave, gentlemen here is a good gift idea to buy your ladies this holiday season....

Have a nice weekend!

Missing In Action..........

Yes it's been a while since I last blogged. Thanksgiving passed last week, it was good to have a 4 day weekend. I did the early shopping trip to the mall, got some nice clothes at very low prices. Plus I did not trample anyone to death like happened elsewhere. I also went to one of the Kenyan clubs and there was nothing that went on really worth mentioning but I may blog about it next week.

Also World AIDS day just passed us by. In true Kenyan style I am 2 days late. Out here if the media is anything to go by, HIV/AIDS is the sole preserve of gays and minorities. So there was not too much in the mainstream media marking the day. I am sure much more was done in Kenya since it's a far larger issue but even so whenever infection statistics go down people tend to go back to the same destructive behaviour that got them where they were in the past. I am a strong advocate for transparent conversation about the issue, not talking about it will not make it go away.

I was watching this video by Attitude, Mercy Myra and some other loose kubaff. I recall the last video by this dude and Bamboo that critiqued had someone tell me, "if you don't like it, don't watch/listen." Easy to say but people forget that unless you are independantly wealthy and doing it for the sake of art, music is a business. Unless you plan to sit at home with all the cds you pressed you have to make music people want to listen to. Pride has never sold any records as far as I know, so I think that musicians and their fans need to listen at times to so called "haters." Like in the case of that video, I'll be honest; there is little that sets it apart from any other single you can find on myspace made with someone's camcorder. I think someone like Mercy Myra would have been doing so much better had she stayed in Kenya on the afro fusion scene because to be honest, there are one thousand and one girls out here singing hooks on rap singles and they haven't gone to far. Anyway I'm about to be accused of hating so I'll let that topic rest for now.

I have always found it amazing about how people choose to let their impressions of a place overcome reality. What am I talking about? The American economy. I have been chatting to more than one person who isn't Stateside and when I mention that the American economy is in the gutter they give me a reaction like I told them that pigs do indeed fly. For the longest time people have held the impression that the States is the land of milk and honey, it's not all chaos here right now but let's just say the milk is flowing at the speed of sour cream and the honey is crystalizing. Case in point, the city I live in has recently closed a Fire Station, put employees on 35 hour work weeks instead of the usual 40 so as to save money/jobs and also just closed 22 recreation centers. I'm not even going to start with the big companies/corporations because anyone who can lay off employees is doing it. I do plan on doing a more in depth post about how the recession, credit crunch and housing crisis here is really affecting people. So I do think that life in the States is not as rosy as people make it out to be, but you are welcome to disagree.

Another example of the bad reporting Kenyans have to put up with.

"Raila Junior and Mr Joseph Muhoho were travelling in a sleek Mercedes Benz when it rammed a BMW belonging to one of their friends on Valley Road at dawn."

Unless it was a feature story, according to journalism 101 you report only the neccesary facts. It doesn't matter if the Merc was sleek, dirty or ramshackle unless it had something to do with the accident. Anyway the less said about it the better.

Ah speaking of laying off. A boss walks into his company, business has been exteremely poor and he has bad news for his 2 employees.

Boss: Janet, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off.
Janet: I have a headache, can you Jack off instead?

Stale I know. Viva la weekend!

Back To The Grind........

I'm not a big fan of American commercials but this ad cracked me up big time! I mean that kid had to have been in the possession of some hard core porn for his mum to be so shaken that badly. Also how the issues just kept on coming, I bet he had a year's worth under there! But he has one get away free card...say it belongs to dad!

They say a sucker is born every minute, I think this woman was born for an hour in that case. I'll let you read the story and come up with your own conclusion.

A friend of mine sent me this article. All I could say is, why in the world can't people read directions?! One way of doing things right, but 10,000 ways of screwing it up!

Another great example of irony below.



A "conscious" rapper doing a song an advert about keeping it real, sponsored by a multi-billion dollar corporation ie Coke. Yes Common, you is a ho! That's the simplest way to put it, I think he just turned into the subject of "I used to love h.e.r."

Could someone out there please tell me the meaning of this article. I read it, and I must say that it is completely and utterly pointless!

To cap off what was an okay weekend, I found a Farmer's Market that is not too far away from my place. Other than the fresh fruit and veggies you can get there, some of which you won't get in regular supermarkets is the unexpected treats that you do find there. I found sugarcane! I've never shared this info before but The Acolyte loves to chew sugarcane. When I was younger back home, my mum used to know the one thing she should bring me from the market was sugarcane. I was such a pro that I got to know if sugarcane was sweet or not just by looking at it, and needless to say my skills didn't desert me this weekend. So I ended up being quite a site walking out of a shop with a 4 foot long stalk of sugarcane, some white dude actually asked me what I was going to do with it; so now you know how unfamiliar people out here are when it comes to certain things. Anyway seeing as Monday is here it's time to get ready to be back on grind, too bad I can't bring my knife and my sugar cane to work...............