Cock Blocking, Cheating, and other stories

First and foremost, I have to share the funniest thing I have watched in a long time. Welcome to the Cock Blocking series!

I have never laughed like this in a while I must say. Youtube really has some jewels once you sift through the chaff. I do recall posting a long time back about this chic pal of mine whom I used to hang out with that used to always introduce me to dudes but never ever to the chics she knew, talk about subtle cock blocking.

Anyway moving on, the U.S education system for the most part is very test/exam oriented. States each have their own mandated tests they have students take per year, its by these tests that they can tell if the education system is any good. For any principal to have your school ranked as a failing school would mean less funds, increased oversight,no annual bonus, loss of future job opportunities and if it goes on long enough termination; because after all if most of your students are failing then you have no business teaching. Some schools have been on the failing schools list for sometime, so some teachers and principals decided on a move that would make some 8-4-4 teachers proud. Staff in 74 schools got hold of the tests their students did and went ahead and changed the answers from the wrong ones to the right ones; thus ensuring passing grades for their students. Of course the teachers who take the students on the following year end up realizing there is a problem when a student who had a passing grade in english can't read for squat? So how were they busted? Well whether we like it or not, statistics never lie, you can't have a failing school do a 180 degree turn in a year or less, progress is very gradual then add to the fact that the average student may change 2-3 answers on a 40 question paper but never 27-30 as was in the case in numerous papers checked coming from the schools under investigations. There was one school where a teacher gave the answers to a student before the test. Anyway what am I going on about here, oh now I remember. This emphasis on exams/tests at the expense of learning doesn't do students much good in the long run because all you churn out is a whole bunch of trained test takers; nothing else! Here is the greatest irony, here if many of your students fail; that makes you a bad teacher while I remember in Kenya how I used to have teachers and professors who would proclaim with such glee about how many students fail their tests. Talk about irony!

Okay PSA messages aside, this video below just left me speechless.....



Btw, how did the camera man know that they would start fighting because he was taping before the fight even started! I once knew this chic who said that she gets turned on whenever two men fight over her, let's just say if we were kicking it; she would be one frigid woman.

While I'm all over the place do you know I have never ever seen a urinal like the one below in the States?



I guess part of it would be due to the culture of individuality people have going on over here, that and of course the fact that sexuality is a big thing here. Nobody wants to take the risk that the dude next to you is checking you out as you do your thing. Hilarious how everyday things take on such different significance in other cultures and places.

Anyway back to everyday life, see you next week or on twitter!

Another Hump Day Passes...

Nothing warms my heart as much as the vids you find on the internet!This video below never ceases to crack me up. The chic was a great sport and was even interviewed about it, plus whoever kicked the ball also apologized to her after the game.Hilarious as ever though!

Moving on, its really interesting how the people of Egypt decided to stand up for their rights. I guess you can sit on the will of the people for only so long before they rise up. I do think more Arab countries should be open to the concept of free and fair elections or at least something close to it. I'll keep my eyes open even though they are trying their best to kill the free media showing whats going on in Cairo and the rest of the country.

Dear Archer and all other Chelski fans, you can have Fernando Torres; may he spend twice the amount of time injured that he did for us - Liverpool Fan.

Also to my dear single brothers or to those in Friends With Benefits scenarios, you don't know how good you have it, please treasure those arrangements and never take them forgranted!

Humpday has me tired out, so adios people!

Sometimes words fail me among other things......

Sometimes with my waning faith and interest in the human race, I think I am better off in some subterranean hideaway where I have everything I need and only come out once in a while to interact with the human race. Why do I say this? Just a few things here and there I have noticed.

There are these 2 sad incidents, the first being a family friend who was shot thugs in what seems to have been an assassination since nothing was stolen from him (that's my hypothesis). I know two wrongs don't make a right but I hope those thugs and whoever hired them die a slow and painful death. There there was this story of the Kenya Airways pilot (whom I didn't know personally) who was killed by thugs when his car stalled at the notorious Uhuru Highway roundabout that has been making rounds on the internets. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that both families are going through.

It's sad that the more we "progress" as human beings the lower we regress. Animals kill to survive or feed while human beings kill on the other hand kill for any unfathomable reason that comes to mind. Be it jealousy, greed for property or whatever other reason, killing someone won't get rid of the issue that led to those sensations. It's hard to be coherent given the contempt I have for those involved.

Reading those stories basically makes all the other things I'm going to mention seem trival in comparison but I shall still share them......

My brother often accuses me of being nostalgic and archaic, at times when I look at how people act; I have to agree. I may have mentioned this on twitter but as I work with people outside my organization, it seems that people have lost the abilities of reading and comprehension. I often want to tear my hair out when I send people a link to information on our organization's website (homepage no less!) and these same individuals call or email me asking me for that SAME information! It's even worse when you email people information, and they email you a week later or call you asking for that same information!!! I have taken to forwarding previously sent e-mails and resisting the temptation to cuss people out on the phone, in fact half the time I let my phone go to voice-mail and answer their voice-mail with email. As you can tell, I don't suffer fools lightly!

I have been talking to some of my lady friends in the past weeks and many of them are going on about how their friends are getting engage or married, and of course wanting to be in the same situation. I struggle to understand the lure of settling down for many women today. You see unlike the past, most women are economically independent; so there is no need for a man to take care of them. Add to this women don't even need to have a husband to have children, all they need to do is do the deed and keep it moving, society doesn't even look down on single mothers as much as it used to. On the other hand though I can understand the lure of stability, having someone there and the prestige that comes with being called "Mrs XYZ..."

With that being said, a large number of marriages here break down due to the fact that many women have the expectation that once they get married, everything will be alright. I have had a chic say this to my face, "once I find the right person, I know things in life will be easier to deal with." I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. The poor bastid who marries this girl will be responsible for her happiness and success in life. I'm sorry to say this, but if you can't be happy with your life alone, then there is no way it's going to be happy with someone else you need to be able to appreciate your life alone with its flaws before inviting someone else in. And that's it for the Dr Acolyte relationship hour......

This is going to lead into a longer more detailed post that I am working but based on some recent experiences, I have realized that the American healthcare system is a one hot steaming mess! I will expound on that once I put my thoughts and experiences down in an organized manner. Now back to real life!

Behold! I Have Returned.....Again

I have decided to reclaim blogging from tweeting. Tweeting is all well and good but I think I have blogged about




I watched this video and I think an important issue needs to be addressed. Who in the hell is the "bride's" stylist?! That blouse and skirt are clashing violently! Would it have hurt for him to have put on some foundation, eye shadow or at least done something with his hair before they came to court? I am going to begin a campaign to send some drag queens from here down to Malawi to set them up right! Im a stern adherent of the fact that if you are going to do something, you may as well go all the way and not half way! Sorry if you were expecting a long polemic about the lgbt plight in Africa.

Have I made any firm New Year's resolutions? Not really, I just plan to make more money and be more positive since I can be a cynic. Oh and I have asked the powers to be for one small thing, to send me a woman that can make me laugh. I know that sounds silly but to be honest it has been eons since I have met one who can, sigh. I guess what makes things harder is this hybrid sense of humour that I have, there is nothing as boring when you have to be the source of mirth and amusement in a relationship I tell you.

In other news, a cousin of mine came visiting and brought treats from home! Tusker (which I can get here but not same quality) and Kenya Cane (hello hangovers!) among other things. What sucks though is that he is here around winter time when I generally do not like to leave the house other than to go to work or to the gym, that and the fact that there arent too many nice outdoorsy type events going on. I'm sure I shall find places to take him after I rouse myself out of my winter hibernation.

Now before I go get some rest, someone give Rod Blagojevich a dunce cap and make him sit in the corner. How in the world do you say you are blacker than Obama?! Sheesh, we are just lucky the man doesnt have a twitter account or he would be putting his foot in his mouth all day long!

Anyway here's to keeping your feet out your mouth and a happy 2010!

Tiger In The Woods and other stories....

I'm sure unless you live in a hole you have seen that the internets are on fire with the drama that is Tiger Wood's life. It all started with a suspicious accident in his upscale neighbourhood that seemed to have shaken more than some leaves off a tree because a few days later the women began to creep out of the woodwork. Why the big deal about all the different women? It's due to the uber private life he led previously and squeeky clean image he had been keeping; I mean if it were someone else ie Charles Barkley, the media wouldn't have shifted a lens.

Where Tiger went wrong was with his silence. The longer you keep quiet the more the rumours swirl and the worse it looks for you, he should have learned from people like David Letterman and Hugh Grant who were quick to admit their wrongs, apologize and keep it moving. But what was Tiger's number 1 problem? He went about his extra curricular activities the wrong way. Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form condone infidelity during marriage. The information given below is for research purposes only.

1. If you are going to get a mistress; trade up! - One look at Tiger's wall of shame and none of the girls other than maybe the club hostess, Rachel can hold a torch to his wife. For the potential trouble you are looking out for stepping out, at least make sure it is worth it. But on the other hand, Tiger Woods is known for being awkward socially, he actually had someone reach out to his wife to ask her on a date when they first met instead of doing it himself! So with that lack of game, it seems that he went with women where the statement,"do you know who I am?" was enough to get things started.

2. Leave behind as little evidence as possible! - I know for a public figure like Tiger Woods this is a bit harder but according to media reports what set things off was text messages on his phone, that and the leaked voicemails. Dude, this is where you either get a prepaid phone that never goes home with you, plus you never leave voicemails. Since the phone isn't registered under your name even if the texts get out, that leaves you with some wiggle room when it comes to deniability.

3. One at a time! - It's hard enough to manage two women (one wife and a mistress), so throwing in all these other women into the mix even if they are one offs is asking for trouble. What's worse is that he was seeing these women on regular occasions. If you are juggling all those balls, you are bound to drop some.

4.Escorts - The difference between an escort and a regular chic is that escorts get paid extra to shut up and leave. It is usually in their best interest to do so unless they are busted which is another story. Yes that route doesn't appeal to most men but if you have as much to lose as Tiger does, it's a good alternative. Many stars and leaders go that route, Elliot Spitzer anyone?

5. Clarify The Situation - Latest reports from one of the mistresses have her saying how Tiger said he would leave his wife for her and such. The chances of that ever happening were one in a million, Tiger's clean image was his brand and I'm sure he wasn't in a rush to jeopardize that (before the blow up). Had he let this chic know her place as a side chic and maybe even let her know that she wasn't the only side chic, I think there wouldnt be the rush to expose as there is now. Many of these chics are rushing to the media as they didn't know they were not alone so are trying to reap as much fame as they can as possible.

Anyway that's a whole lot of shoulda woulda coulda, what's done is done; let's sit back and enjoy the show.

One last open question to all which you can answer in the comments, I was talking to some female relatives about relationships and they are of the opinion that married men should not have single male friends. Their point of view is that they do not have the same goals and further more that singles can lead the married men astray. I countered that unlike women men do not base their friendships on the relationships in their lives but on shared interests, I can have the same sports, hobbies, financial goals as a married man and wouldn't mind spending time together sharing them. That is why it is hard for men to bond if they dont have a shared activity to bond over as we just don't sit and talk the same way women do. Also I know plenty of no good married men who lead their married friends astray. What do you think ladies, single friends any good for married men? Time to return to regular life, hasta manyana!