The Pregnant Pause

One of the most harrowing moments in a man's life is when a woman he has been having "adult relations" with comes to his apartment and sats these following words to him, "honey, I think I'm pregnant!"
Most women expect a man to be beside himself with joy, but it is usual an anti-climax that awaits the lady. Small beads of sweat may form on the man's forehead, his skin may turn a shade of gray, his throat may dry up and his voice may rise a note and his heart will start thumping at triple digit rates. In many cases he may sit down and then resolve to the contingency question, "Is it mine?"
You see unless a man was keen on father hood and had been planning on it, he will grasp at any straw to get out of it. You see for most men when they hear those 5 words they begin thinking of how they will deal with the 18 years ahead and the burden involved. While on the other hand most women think about how this is the fruit of their love.
But on the other hand there are those few men who have been put on that fatherhood pillory but due to the wonders of modern science they managed to escape. Their reaction really something to behold as we can see in the videos below!





To quote Wendy Williams, "What a whore!"


And one more time for the free men....The Remix!

ps: The Acolyte and the Management of this blog in no way condone dead beat fatherhood in any way, shape and form whatsover!

Mozilla Mangled My Musings

Mozilla hung with today's post so I am going to keep things brief. For some reason I have not been seeing as many christmas decorations as last year, that's great! At least some people are using their brains.

You all know that I am a good fan of beef. Well it seems after Donald Trump decided to pardon the current Miss America for her indiscretions and let her keep her crown citing second chances, Rosie O'donnel was not amused. She tore Donald Trump a new one on her show, The View. She said he has no business being a judge of morality since he has been unfaithful to women he has been with, has been bankrupt and is a "snake oil" salesman.
Needless to say he hit back! All the video needs is "Ether" by Nas playing in the background!

Have any of you heard Nameless' new song Karibia? Why is it as the musical arrangement that Nameless uses gets better, his lyrics get worse? How in the world does your song have a lyric going "Mahamjam zinapanda,mahamjam nikikuona,mahanjam zinapanda." At this rate his nephews and nieces will be writing his next lyrics. I know I sound like a hater but you know I'm being real.

I was looking at this picture from Scott Storch's birthday party. Dude always looks like he is isn't quite right upstairs but that isn't the subject. Do you see the chic on the far right? For all intents and purposes, she is naked. That brings me to the theory of the day, in hip hop land; women's amount of clothing is inversely porportional to the amount of clothing the men wear.



Anyway have a happy holiday and don't get too buckwild!

Hard Faces, Hard Choices, Hard Reading and Hard Hitting Viewing

Once in a while when the mood strikes me, I like to listen to and watch dancehall videos. One interesting thing struck me. The women who sing have great bodies but their faces as are as hard as granite. Some of those women look like they could stare down a statue. Think I am kidding? Look at Lady Saw, Tanya Stephens and Cecile (okay she doesn't look that hard most of the time). It also made me realise how much Redsan jacks from ragga musicians.

Moving on, we men know that if you go out with a hot gyal (sorry couldn't resist) that you have to lay down your seniority or the vultures will swoop in. The thing is that for girls it is at most time so subtle that I wonder how women deal with it. My sister told of her disgust at how she went out with this guy once. The dude is one of those people who arent that good looking but know how to dress and seem to ooze money and machismo (love that word!). So whenever he goes out usually women give him the once over.
Anyway, my sister was out with him for the day when at one shop, this fly chic starts giving him the come hither look and running her had slowly through her $500 weave; lucky for her he wasnt interested. They get to where they were going to have coffee and another chic goes to the extent of turning her chair (she was in the table parallel to them) to face them. She then started giving those non-verbal cues for interest that women give men when they are interested. Needless to say my sister was kinda livid. You see you cant go around whupping women for doing things like that (okay you can but you'll be wearing an orange jumpsuite for sometime). How do you ladies out there deal with this kind of thing?

There is this blog that I came across the other day that made me say, "who gif dem a keyboard and computer? Me mind tyad after 30 mins an me kyant read no more. Dis blog is bloodclat and de writer a bombaclatt."
Okay I'm going to lay off the ragga videos and that blog. I know I got into beef with some people for saying that some blogs could be better, but I do think that these same bleeding hearts would agree with me if they read it. But anyway this is a free blogoshphere so I just won't read that blog unless I am in a masochistic mood.

Sorry Movie Buff and co, after seeing reviews for Rocky Balboa; I have decided that I am going to see it. I will tell you how it was!

Some People + The End Of An Era

The bumming days are here! Let me enjoy them before January checks in and I have to get off my ass.

On Saturday night I went out with my sis and 3 of her pals to a lounge in ATL. I don't go out to clubs all that much because of the sheer dregs of humanity you encountered. I met two exemplary cases. The other 2 guys we were with had dread locks, yes not locs like me; in fact there were quite a few people with locks and dread locks at that joint. We were kidding that maybe it was somewhere in the small print of the invite. Anyway this tipsy white dude starts making small talk with the two dudes, he at one point told them that they look like Milli Vanilli. He further on went to say that he doesn't talk to black people often but he's not scared of them or anything (sounds like the I have black friends defense if you ask me), I knew those two dudes were nice because they didn't call him out or anything. I think God has a plan for me because he never sends such idiots my way, I would have called him out real soon, real fast! But on the plus he did buy us Yeager Bombs. His pal was another piece of work! One of the dudes we were with has a thing for asian chics (yes, the black man - asian woman connection). So he says how hot he finds them and the other white dude goes on to say how much he loves them and how shagging them makes him feel like he has a big dick. Needless to say I was like free drinks be damned! I walked away. If these are the idiots I am going to meet in clubs, let me chill at digs or go for bashes with people who can handle their drink and keep their bigoted opinions to themselves.

Moving on! It's official! My days in the 'ville are now over! I am now a refugee until I get my own place. No more books, lectures and papers to write. In some way it is anti-climatic. I guess it will only hit me when I walk in May, that I am done. I got an A in another class to balance out my C in Quantitative Analysis, so the grades are safe! All in all, it wasnt that bad. I want to thank all of you who gave me encouragement when I was sick and tired of the whole school gig, my friends, family and last but not least; the big Guy upstairs! Now life moves on and I joint the adult world (shivers).

Happy Monday All!

Bah humbug! And Other Stories......

My disdain for Christmas is well known in the blogosphere. Last year my scoffing began rather early, as soon as I saw the first decorations go up. But this time round it seems people's fervor for Christmas has been quenched, maybe it's the bad economy or they could be planning a sudden ambush? Anyhow I was reading one of my many fave blogs and I came across this jewel that I want to share that sums up how I feel about some of these big holidays that are just turned into commercial spiels by the big corporations...

Stupid Commercials

I was watching football earlier today, and I couldn't help but notice all the annoying commercials, all essentially saying the same thing, BUY YOUR WOMAN ALOT OF EXPENSIVE SHIT. Look, the entire point of commercials is to peddle your product to the target demographic i.e. your audience. Are these advertisers stupid? They're not even selling a product, they are selling you the idea of gift giving. How thoughtful of them.


Here are the commercials I saw

1. Commercial for Lexus. Out in the driveway is a Lexus RX series SUV, with a red bowtie on it. 2 women scuttle outside and assume it's for them. One declares she knows it's for her because it's her favorite color. The other one thinks it's hers because she wanted something shiny for christmas.

2. Another Lexus commercial. Hubby blindfolds his wife and take her outside. in the driveway is a brand spanking new Lexus LS (Base price is well over 60 grand, fully loaded can surpass 80 grand) with a red bow on top. I guess that was her christmas present.

3. Kay jeweler commercial, some douche surprises his wife with a gold bracelet while they are watching TV, and at the end of the ad, the announcer states that sales start at a "mere $3500".

4. Another jewelry commercial, but this time it's Santa. Santa goes to the mall and picks out the most expensive diamond for Mrs. Claus. Takes said diamond to the North Pole to give Mrs Claus, she's all happy and asks how he knows what she wants, Santa winks into the camera.

5. Another jewelry commercial. This one almost seems like a demand. Announcer says "She's been good all year, why don't you do something for her for a change?" Some guy surprises his wife with diamonds. Nothing like subtle shaming language to get your point across.

Seriously, who are they selling this idea to? Who saw these commercials and ran out to buy an $80,000 vehicle as a present? Do men ever get gifts on Christmas?

A few weeks back I got an e-mail about Safaricom wanting to recruit engineers and other professionals to work in Kenya. Since I am not in any of the fields they wanted, I promptly trashed the email.
If I had examined the e-mail much closer I would have noticed some things that Ntwiga has mentioned in his blog. Important things like they do not specify the skill set, experience and positions they have available. It was just a blanket call for applicants. Seems someone went for an "interview" and it left a bad taste in their mouth. Do read Ntwiga's post for more details. This is professionalism at it's worst!
Frankly I think Safaricom need to style up and stop playing us for fools!

Anyway back to my irreverent self. Wendy Williams interviewed Carmen Bryan (Nas' Baby Mama) about her "guess who I slept with?" book aka tell all. I do love the way she skewered her, sprayed lysol on the book and called her out. I mean let's be honest, how do shag and tell?Such things need to be left behind closed doors where they happened! How does your only claim to fame be the people you slept with?!
Ps:Take a look at NY from Flavor of Love, her implants make it look like her chest is going to explode!