Tuesday Tirades II......................

Sigh, bloggers block continues to compound with time. Anyway let me do what I can to combat it. Last weekend I went to the International Farmer's Market to get my usual supply of fruit, veggies and other occasional treats and noticed something. This maybe be stereo-typing, something I am not a big fan of; but Africans stare. There is this chica who was staring at me and I wanted to tell her to watch out otherwise her eyes would roll out of her skull, no my fly wasn't open, The Acolyte is just hot like that. Similarly a friend of mine who went back to Kenya on vacation told me how she went to Kenya and visited one of the new strip clubs that had come up. She told me how she saw a dude watching the mama dancing on the table for him, you see here when most peeps get a table dance; they will for the most part act like they are not that moved, now it was different with our Kenyan cat. The mama is dancing one the table and the dude had his face like 3 inches from the cooch. I doubt he was moonlighting as a gynaeo for the strippers but please you don't want to be that close, you don't know where that cooch has been. Sigh, Kenyans are in a class of their own I say.

The other day after issuing a disclaimer, this chica I talk to asked me how come many Africans don't wear deo. You see sometime back she used to work for some Nigerians and it seemed that many of the peeps who used to come around the joint used to subject her to noxious fumes. I also realised that you don't really notice the way that many folks especially everyday peeps on the street don't use deo much until you go back home on vacation or run across someone here who isn't using any deo at all. But of course this isn't to say that all Kenyans go around au naturale, most middle class Kenyans do use deo and other hygiene products but for the average Kenyan trying to survive on less than a $1 a day, smelling fresh is the least of your problems but on the other hand if you have made it to the States and have at least $2 you can get some roll on so I don't know about the peeps out here, they need to get their scent together.

I made a technical appearance at a Kenyan bash the other day. A well planned one at that, I was there for only 2 hours and it was a 10 min drive from home but noticed one thing that happens regularly. Why do Kenyans check into Kenyan bashes at around 1 am? It doesnt make sense to me especially if the club is closing at 3 am or 4 am, well I guess it's cheaper to get smashed at a pal's place and then go to the club and get completely plastered on one beer. I don't know how it works in other States and countries, please share.

Anyway the rivers of inspiration are running low, so I shall share these wonderful demotivational messages with you. View and get offended at your own risk









Government working just for you......

Friday............

There is something empowering about a Friday. There is nothing as encouraging as the feeling that you wont be going to work the next day (or at least that is the case for most of us). But then as soon as Saturday morning rolls in, somewhere deep inside it hits you that your weekend is almost half way gone. I would recommend 3 day weekends be the norm but usually after a 3 day weekend I am not good on the first work day that comes around to be honest.

I don't know if it's just me but time just seems to move so much faster nowadays. I remember when I was in high school, my Swahili teacher seemed to be the most powerful woman in the universe since her voice in my opinion would make time stop. The days of when I was bumming and time seemed to move like molasses are long gone. It is believed by some religions that when the end times come close, time shall begin to move much faster and who knows; at times I actually think that could be the case. Anyway I'm beginning to sound too morose for a Friday.

One thing that really bores me about working here in the West is fake office friendships. People at work like to really act super chummy and like they are bosom buddies but once they step out of the office environment, that's it. Like there was this chica who used to work for the company and she seemed to be close with almost everyone other than a few other chicas (you know how women just dont seem to all get along). So anyway she had been planning her wedding for a while and would go on and on about it and her fiancee. Do you know when she got married I think only one person was invited despite her making the whole office feel like they were part of the process? I knew I wasn't getting invited so it didn't bother me but it was funny though, were it in Kenya I doubt the office would have known she was getting married till she did her name change. But anyway that's life in the West for you.

I have also been working on a series of posts about the experience in the States that is called living in an apartment complex. Anyone who has lived abroad can tell you how that is a unique experience in itself most of the time. I'm sure some of you out there have your own stories to share.

In other news,I hear the cost of electricity in Kenya is going up. This would be a good time to invest in solar power even if its just for lighting your home the only thing that put me off is the initial high cost of solar panels and set up. You have to have quite a bit, last quote I got was like around $4,000/= the good thing though is that that by the 3-4 year mark that investment shall have paid for itself and since Kenya for the most part has sun most of the year you won't have to worry about power shortages when you need the power most.

Anyway time to prepare to get back on the grind...............

Yet Another Day...........

The blogger's block continues, I'm sitting in front of the text box and nothing is coming to mind. Well the fountain had to stop flowing at one point in time. But meek meek tagged me with an 8 things meme. I usually don't do these but thought I would indulge them this time round.

8 Things That I Am Passionate About

1. Kenya
2. Soccer
3. Learning New Things
4. Mixed Martial Arts
5. Financial Independence
6. African Issues
7. Eastern Philosophy/ Religion
8. Healthy Living


8 Things I Would Like To Do Before I Die

1. Sky Dive
2. Deep Sea Dive
3. Have A 3some
4. Set Up A Successful Non Profit In Kenya
5. Make At Least $1,000,000
6. Kick someone hard in the ribs when they are down
7. Travel Around The World
8. Get some tattoos

8 Things I Say Alot

1. As long as it works for you
2. Kumeharibika
3. Things are narrow
4. That's your opinion
5. That's what I think but you can correct me if I'm wrong
6. Hodi
7. Pole
8. Ehe

8 Books I have Read Lately (still reading some of them)

1. Trading Options For Dummies
2. Technical Analysis Plain and Simple
3. Profit With Options (Essential Methods For Trading Success)
4. Auto Repair For Dummies
5. The Game
6. Heal Thyself for health and Longevity
7. The 8 Human Talents
8. Dreads

8 Movies I have Seen 8 Times (some I havent made to 8 times)

1. The Devil's Advocate
2. The Usual Suspects
3. The Matrix
4. Hard Boiled
5. 300
6. Enter The Dragon
7. Hero
8. The Lord Of The Rings (All 3)

3 People Who Should Do This

Archer
Mocha
Bomseh


I was reading this article about a Naijo dude getting his wife and property jacked from him by his wife and an MP (people say its Hon Raphael Wanjala). Much as I am not a supporter of property theft, the revelation that the Nigerian's Kenyan wife of 10 years is 24 made me sympathise with him much less. How in the hell do you marry or court a girl who is 14 years old?! You have just stolen the girl's teenage years when she is meant to be growing up. Now wonder she went buckwild and decided to share their property with Hon Wanjala. I guess Karma can bite you when you least expect it.

Now another blithering idiot out there decides to shine an unwelcome light on Kenyans in the diaspora. I know the rule of law is innocent till proven guilty, so I shall let you read and come up with your own opinions.

Now let me ask a question to you rugby fans out there. Capital FM seem to be having some sort of competition on radio where people can win tickets for singing various rugby chants. One thing I have noticed is that the chants pretty much haven't changed from when I was in high school, and that was a long time back; people are still singing "Eloya" and other similar songs. My question is, aren't there any new chants coming up or do people lack innovation and motivation? It kind of reminds me of how I used to go for Rock at Carnivore on Wednesdays and hear the same songs over and over and over. I wouldn't have been shocked if the DJ had a mix tape at that point and would play it while hanging out with the club goers.

I had to share this interesting image below. This is the back of a courtesy bus that goes to a popular high end shopping district in Atlanta. Now my question is, if you get on the bus does the girl give you a free ride? And if she gets on top does she charge you $12.90? I'll see if I can catch that bus this weekend and give you an update. Nice weekend people!

Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have blogger's block, it was inevitable but it happened. The days of posts flowing like a waterfall are gone. Now I have to think long and hard before anything drips let alone flows.

Anyway I remember there was this chica whom I was getting close to once and you know how we dudes are when we are trying to get some ass. We shall listen to all your hopes and dreams and even see where we can fit in (till we get some ass that is). So anyway in fantasy land we had already gotten hitched with this chica and now we were talking about making it big (wealthy and no kids), so I was talking about how we were going to grind hard together to make it happen. That's when she said, "Oh no babe, you are the one going to be grinding hard. I am going to be a stay at home wife!" At that point in time had I been a wise enough man, I should have thought about the booty, played along, gotten some and then moved on. But oh no, Acolyte had other ideas. You see this is the same chic who went out of her way to tell me when we met that she isn't a gold digger, yet she wants to marry a man who will grind hard getting her the good life she "deserves" while she stays at home doing next to nothing (no kids in the marriage). Of course I went ahead and tore her a new one about how she was just a gold digger by another name (feel free to disagree of course). Let me also add that with the state of the World economy today one income homes are becoming a rarity. I am not saying that it's an impossible goal and women shouldn't strive to it but when you tie your lifestyle and goals to a man and not your own effort; I find that just plain pathetic.

Anyway while we are talking about getting some and the state of the economy. I came across this book that will help some of you overcome not being able to get some and being broke at the same time. Once you churn out your first masterpiece, you shall thank me.

While I'm going down this track. I remember reading this story about how during the January chaos we had in Kenya, there was this gay dude who was part of a "hunted" tribe in the Rift Valley. So he knew that he had to flee when word reached him that a small mob made up of people who knew he was gay and didn't like it, was planning to visit him at night and make a man out of him by raping him. Hmmmmmmm let's see, you don't like the fact that he is gay so you are going to rape him; doesn't that make you gay?!

These chaps made my day. A trial going on and you are playing sudoku. Almost as bad as the Judge who was using the penis pump!

Anyway the blogger's block is creeping back in so I think it's about time for me to get back to real life. Let me leave you with this wonderful snippet.

Girl: Aco, I'm over 30 and I have no husband; I need to at least have kid
Acolyte: Yes you do because at your age, mayai karibu zianze kuoza.
Girl: Speechless

ps: Gentlemen please don't be like me, tell women what they want to hear.
pps: Now what we have below is true kuku porno, Kenchic kando!

Interesting Views, Interesting Videos...........

Whenever people always ooh and ahh about how much they want to have kids without thinking of how much work it is and when you tell them they say you are being too serious. I picture them as the kind of parents who let society and the school system raise their kids and you end up with situations like the one in the video below. Not that I advocate how that teacher handled it but kids out here can drive you mad, just talk to a teacher here and listen to their stories; you shall be shocked.



Since I'm tearing parents a new one. I might as well lay into the parents of the girl below. Her and her grown looking ass has put 2 men in jail?! And they still let her get online and run around town late?! I for one don't condone men sleeping with underage girls at all but when a heifer like this does this on purpose I think she too has to face some punishment from the law or is she not responsible for her actions since she is a young woman? I swear before any girl out here gets some Acolyte loving she has to produce 2 forms of picture ID or no service at all!




I hope you Kenyans back home enjoyed your 3 day public holiday. For us out here it was the same old thing. Anyway I was on the net and came across an interesting cartoon about what really happens during online dating, here it is.

There are many online games nowadays and some of them other than membership, charge you extra for things that should rightly be free (especially for people like me who play the free Yahoo games). I think the video below sums it up completely. Greedy bastards....




I know some people out there on the web come across my blog while searching for somethings that I know nothing about ie Kenyan porn or nude pics of Lilian Muli/Nini Wacera/Kaz etc. I don't have those but I did find these pictures of some Kenyans caught in a sexual orgy, these pictures are very explicit; warning NSFW! Please click here, here and here. Enjoy but don't stain your keyboards.










ps: You have just been rick rolled......