Damn Time Flies and Other Stories......

It has been almost one whole month since I blogged and in the words of the apple of Archer's eye, "this is a fucking disgrace!"

I can only blame laziness, work and twitter.

My birthday passed around 5 days ago, I was at a conference for work out of town so it was a day like any other. To be honest people around me seem to gather more joy from my birthday than I do, for me it's a good day for introspection and looking forward.

I read a report that came up with the statistic that 25% of men fake orgasms. I don't know the veracity of that number but it's an interesting double standard that men are expected to be up for sex and enjoy it at all times while on the other hand it's fine for women not to be up for sex at all times and if they don't enjoy it there are myriad reasons ranging from health,mental or their present relationship. I guess it's part of the over sexualization of society. But to be honest sex can become a chore leading to faking on both sides just to keep things smooth, so its up to both parties in the relationship to keep things fresh. I guess that's why I have mad respect for married people who can't keep their hands off each other. Anyway marriage is a beast of it's own.

I was listening to the radio this morning, and my favourite segment came on; it's the "help me solve my problems" segement. People write letters about their problems and send them in to get advice. So this dude calls in and says how he and his girlfriend have 3 kids, 1 each from past relationships and they had a kid in the last year. The dude is in school fulltime as he can't get work with the economy and the chic works part time. Regardless of their financial situation, the chic is going on about how she wants another baby, even though they have their hands full and cannot afford another one. Also due to their financial situation they can't afford the birth control injection, whatever you call it. Well dudes issue aside (I would go celibate in a heartbeat!), it's funny how the biological clock can kill all logic. I mean, you have your hands full, hardly any income and you still want a child?! WTF?! Children are work, cuteness doesn't pay for childcare,healthcare, food and clothing! If I had a chic and she started going on like that, I would suddenly develop "depression" and be unable to have sex for a very long time; I mean better to take no risks here, condoms have been known to be punctured sigh.

Anyway kids and marriage aside, I see the ash cloud that had Europe at a standstill seems to have lifted. I guess now people are aware of how much they depend on the flying to get around. At least in Europe they had the trains, bullet trains and ferries. Were the same to happen here, I can see total grid lock and chaos on the highways since the interstate train system here doesn't service all states equally and is a shell. Don't let me get started on local mass transit here, not only is it one hot mess, in many cities down here it is on the verge of shutting down due to budgetary constraints and the recession.

Anyway it's about time to get back on the grind and deal with people who have little if any comprehension skills, yes the kind of people you send an email and they call you the next day asking questions that were answered in that very same e-mail! That's why I hardly ever answer my phone or check voicemails at work, lazy bastards!


ps: there is a chic here in the office who has rolls on her back and is wearing a tight top, urgh! Someone needs to have 360 mirrors in their closet!

pps: I need True Blood and Dexter to come back on air asap! Life is not worth living without them.

Another Monday Is Here II.....

Thanks to work and twitter, I have been awol on my own blog (frowning face). But I'm sure you all know that you can't keep a good man down.

With that being said, last week or so one of the airlines out here proudly announced that in a bid to give better service that they are going to start charging for meals in economy class. Anyone who has the agony of flying local in the States will tell you how dealing with the airlines is like dealing with a bunch of schysters. You get charged for your luggage, you get charged to change your ticket if anything happens, you get charged for blankets, you get charged for earphones; with some of them you even get charged for using your credit card to pay for stuff. I guess the only "free" thing you get is your seat. Lets not forget that you have to be at the airport around 2 hours early for security check. I won't even start about people being held hostage in planes on the runway. Yes that is the fun of flying in the new decade of the new millennium.

Anyway that anti-capitalism rant aside, I read this story and just gave myself a face palm! Really! I mean you break down not one but two doors just to get into someone else's bed?! Also I think once you are over 30 (and Im being generous), you have no business going for a Jay-Z concert unless you are taking your nephew or niece, heck even Jay Z himself has no business performing nowadays to be honest!

Does anyone know where these Finger of God characters are? My last week moved by really slowly without their drama. I'm going through withdrawal symptoms! Now I know how women feel when they miss their Mexican soap operas.

Well it's about time for me to clock off from jobo but I wanted to share this video by Nneka, whose music I started listening to. I think it's more than possible to make music with deep lyrics yet listenable to at the same time...




Have a nice day all!

Sex, Suing, Slashing, Shooting and Shows....

As always I have to share good things I find online. This ad here is a PSA about safe sex. It's a bit hard to find the message when you have to sift through all that trash the dudes are saying (yes ladies some of your boyfriends sound like this in your absence).



I think the ad below is a far better one.



That reminds me, there is nothing that is more of a libido killer for me than the sound of a crying child. Maybe I could get a tape of a crying child and use it to condition myself to stay celibate the same way Pavlov conditioned his dogs.

Speaking of children I see in the Kenyan papers, our friend Esther is going to sue her parents and the therapist they took her to for 300 million shillings, I understand her motivation but please pick an earthly number so as not to waste the court's time. Also even if you were wronged, whatever happened to honoring your mother and father? Anyway I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the show.

I watched Ninja Assassin and I must admit that it has been sometime since I have watched a movie that was that wonderfully mindless. The plot was watchable but the choreography and gore was indeed a work of art. I highly recommend it as a lazy Saturday afternoon movie, yes I can never claim to be Ebert but I stand by my review!

That reminds me, speaking of marriage; this story has to take the cake. Not only did this woman murder her husband (20 years her junior) after 5 days of marriage, she is a lobbyist for a group that fights domestic violence! Talk about doing a full 180 degree turn. It's like being a policeman during the day and then one night you decide to turn bank robber, oh wait that sounds familiar; I just can't place it. Irony is that when it comes to guns, you are more likely to be shot by someone you know than someone you don't know.

A close friend of mine calls me a lover of all things British since I often voice my boredom regarding American things to her. One of the things that bores me about American tv is the hunger for ratings above all else. I have seen promising programmes be cancelled because they did not gather enough ratings in enough time ie Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, and on the other hand I have seen some shows needlessly extend since they were popular, Prison Break anyone? That damn show should have ended once they broke out. What I like about British tv is that programs are made to run for a certain amount of time ie 2 seasons, no extension no matter how popular they are. A formula the stations that run Heroes and Lost should have listened to. Anyway I'll turn my tv back on when True Blood, Dexter and V return to the screen.

With that being said TGIF and have a fun weekend!

Touched By The Finger......

Well unless you aren't Kenyan or live under a rock somewhere, you may be aware of the fire that is raging on the internets and on people's lips about. I'll save myself some keystrokes and post a video from K24 down here about the whole Esther Arunga and the Finger of God church. The story is on its own level, it could be made into a movie! You have the powers of good and evil, human sacrifice, human traffickers, a cult, accusations of brainwashing and other things. I'll let you watch the video to get the back story then I'll give my opinion.

So now we are all caught up on the gist of what went down. The plot only thickened when Esther Arunga decided to give a no holds barred interview with former CNN reporter Jeff Koinange. If you havent watched the series, I have linked to part 1 below.

Now come my series of hard questions and thoughts regarding this whole issue.

1. KTN Resignation - Maybe I missed it, but Esther didn't give a good reason why she left her job at KTN. I have known of people who have left promising jobs and careers in the name of the "ministry" only for many of these ministries to crash and burn and for them to be left with destroyed careers, burnt bridges and whole years of their lives wasted. I know a lawyer who did this and nowadays he is one of the most cynical and bitter people you can come across. If you read the Bible you will note many examples of God working through people in whatever professions they are in. Yes I agree that you can get the call to go into ministry but not everyone gets that call or is cut out for it.

2. Benny Hinn Spiritual Father - So in the news conference Joseph Hellon went ahead and claimed that Benny Hinn was his spiritual father and had been sending him tapes and sermon. There is only one spiritual father someone should have, God; nobody else! Other accounts had him saying that when he preaches it is Benny Hinn speaking, I have a name for that term; it's called channeling which in itself is not the most christian practices by any means. Then of course comes to most glaring thing, it seems all the "prophecies" he was getting were via e-mail which proved to be fake when Benny Hinn's ministries disowned him. So my question is, you call someone your spiritual father and have never spoken to him on phone or met him in the 7 years your relationship has existed?! That's either blind faith or stupidity? Why do I think that Quincy or someone else set up bennyhinn@hotmail.com and was emailing Hellon alongside ordering tapes and materials for him online?

3. Freemason this, Freemason that - Well as we saw via the K-24 interview Esther claims that Freemasons are out for her neck. It seems she is in possession of some hot information. She claims her ex-fiancee is one of them and a human traffiker to boot. Well my question is would a member of a secretive and illicit organisation leave information in the open for anyone to discover so easily? Also after a failed attempt on your life would a member from that organisation contact you and tell you they were trying to eliminate you? I'm not saying that Freemasons don't exist and they dont have gray area regarding what they do but on the other hand they won't make unearthing things about them very easy, after all they are several hundred years old. At the end of the day it just seems that Esther and co are just rustling the wrong feathers.

4. Cry for Help? - Is it me or did Esther several times during the interview on K24 seem to be hinting to Jeff to get her a job with the tv station? She recently quit your job with one tv station, I think the only reason she would be dropping such hints is somehow she now realizes the gravity of the decision she made by leaving her old job. Sadly I doubt she had anyone round her to sound off that decision with and ended up jumping before looking. Plus did anyone notice how riddled with contradictions her story is, did she leave her ex-fiancee because he was trying to get other women in church, or because he was a freemason. Also why would he want to "sacrifice" her if they were to get married? The sad thing though is that when someone is in a questionable church, it's like dealing with a drug addict, unless they can admit they have a problem they wont accept any help at all.

5. President Hellon? - If the announcement of a Presidential bid isn't a joke, then I don't know what is. From the Bible that I read, I dont know if Hellon reads the same one; but mine has a verse that says God is a God of order. I'm sorry but you aren't going to come in as a dark horse and run off with the Presidential election, I think he needs to aim low like counselor or something like that and then work his way up.

Okay all those organised questions aside, why the hell don't people read their bibles?! We wouldn't have half of these cult problems if people read their bibles, you would be shocked at how many people that call themselves Christians that don't read their bibles, I once quoted a verse from one of the smaller books in the bible, I think it was Habakkuk and this chic wanted to argue with me about not only the verse but the very existence of the book of Habakkuk. You should have seen the expression on her face when I showed her the book and the verse. Im not a Bible guru by any means but if you are a Christian then its your responsibility to strive to know the book backwards so that some schyster wont be in your face telling you how its God's will for you to give him all that you own and let him have sex with your wife.

While I'm putting people on blast, what is this hullabaloo about the fact that people in Hellon's church drink wine? There is nothing in the bible about not drinking, it's being drunk that's the problem. But what do holy rollers do? They rail against all alcohol, well if we are going to go against alcohol since it can make you get drunk, I suggest no eating. Why? Eating can lead to gluttony. I propose the same for sex too, no sex for Christians since it can lead to lust. It's this lack of control that lead to wonderful songs like the one below, that help you keep your Christian life on the straight and narrow.

With all that being said, do I approve of the arrest of Joseph Hellon and Esther Arunga? If it's for breaking the law ie being members of an unlawful society (as they were charged), all well and good; but if its for talking too much and shaking the wrong bushes? Not at all because funny enough people stop talking if you dont draw attention to what they are saying. Anyway I do plan to keep my eyes and ears open for other developments. Also to my Christian brethren, I've got love for most of you; just that some of you drive me up the wall!

Cock Blocking, Cheating, and other stories

First and foremost, I have to share the funniest thing I have watched in a long time. Welcome to the Cock Blocking series!

I have never laughed like this in a while I must say. Youtube really has some jewels once you sift through the chaff. I do recall posting a long time back about this chic pal of mine whom I used to hang out with that used to always introduce me to dudes but never ever to the chics she knew, talk about subtle cock blocking.

Anyway moving on, the U.S education system for the most part is very test/exam oriented. States each have their own mandated tests they have students take per year, its by these tests that they can tell if the education system is any good. For any principal to have your school ranked as a failing school would mean less funds, increased oversight,no annual bonus, loss of future job opportunities and if it goes on long enough termination; because after all if most of your students are failing then you have no business teaching. Some schools have been on the failing schools list for sometime, so some teachers and principals decided on a move that would make some 8-4-4 teachers proud. Staff in 74 schools got hold of the tests their students did and went ahead and changed the answers from the wrong ones to the right ones; thus ensuring passing grades for their students. Of course the teachers who take the students on the following year end up realizing there is a problem when a student who had a passing grade in english can't read for squat? So how were they busted? Well whether we like it or not, statistics never lie, you can't have a failing school do a 180 degree turn in a year or less, progress is very gradual then add to the fact that the average student may change 2-3 answers on a 40 question paper but never 27-30 as was in the case in numerous papers checked coming from the schools under investigations. There was one school where a teacher gave the answers to a student before the test. Anyway what am I going on about here, oh now I remember. This emphasis on exams/tests at the expense of learning doesn't do students much good in the long run because all you churn out is a whole bunch of trained test takers; nothing else! Here is the greatest irony, here if many of your students fail; that makes you a bad teacher while I remember in Kenya how I used to have teachers and professors who would proclaim with such glee about how many students fail their tests. Talk about irony!

Okay PSA messages aside, this video below just left me speechless.....



Btw, how did the camera man know that they would start fighting because he was taping before the fight even started! I once knew this chic who said that she gets turned on whenever two men fight over her, let's just say if we were kicking it; she would be one frigid woman.

While I'm all over the place do you know I have never ever seen a urinal like the one below in the States?



I guess part of it would be due to the culture of individuality people have going on over here, that and of course the fact that sexuality is a big thing here. Nobody wants to take the risk that the dude next to you is checking you out as you do your thing. Hilarious how everyday things take on such different significance in other cultures and places.

Anyway back to everyday life, see you next week or on twitter!