Time Flies....

Yes I know it's been almost 2 months since I've been on here! I've been battling to stay above the waves of life, and by the way things are going so far; I'm not doing such a bad job.

In other news, the operating system on my pc crashed and I took bad advice from someone about getting it fixed and ended up losing 120 gb of music, lots of data and most of my pictures from the last 5 years. I know the lesson of the day is back up your data but when you have so much after a while you get sloppy about it. I had backed up a bit but a whole lot of stuff was lost. Oh and you know the ironic thing? The family member who gave me this advice, has a knack of giving me advice that bites me in the ass over and over again. If it wasn't for family loyalty, I would tell them to screw themselves in the ass. I am currently ignoring some advice they are offering me regarding certain issues I'm dealing with. Anyway, moving on.....

Hoarders is one of my most favorite shows on TV. It takes a close look at people who hoard ie stockpile loads and loads of things. The things differ from show to show, it can be canned food, clothes, books, video tapes, sports gear even animals! Anything and everything is fair game to hoarders. As an African the whole disorder is very interesting to me because, due to the lack of plenty and lack of space most people had no means to hoard even if they wanted to (correct me if you do know an African hoarder). In many cases the hoarding is actually triggered by a life event, one man started hoarding the same year his mother died, this was his way of dealing with it. His case was so bad that his house no longer had running water, he actually used to spend time in his car for refuge; but there is a Mental Disorders Specialist who comes in and helps the hoarders in the show confront and get over the disorder, it doesn't always work as some of them don't co-operate even if their homes and children are at stake (the government here will take your kids away from you if they are living in unfit conditions). If you can get a chance to watch it, I urge you to do so; it's a wonderful look into the human condition!

In other news, Lord Acolyte is dating. Much as companionship is a beautiful thing, it reminds me of why I have been single for so long and enjoyed it, even worse I now know why so many people opt not even to get married. You can get so used to having your own world to control as you please. Unless you are in a friends with benefits arrangement, that changes. Lets just say alot of interesting posts are coming your way, like the other day I did learn that the age old stereotype for men dating or even married bares weight, learn to say sorry even if you don't think or know you aren't or have nothing to be apologetic for. I now have an immense respect for married men! But I'm not being negative, it also has lots of pluses, more on that later.

Oh snap! Thanksgiving is round the corner. I'm going to pick a handful of these expensive and over hyped Kenyan bashes, go to one and then give my usual scathing review. Anyway let me start working on getting my blog mojo back.......

Spouses, Soccer and Other Things.....

Yes I know, I have been AWOL for a minute, so forgive my fragmented posting since it's been a while since I blogged.

So from what I gather from the EA Standard and the Daily Nation is that a large number of Kenyan women are so desperate for husbands that they have resorted to prayers.

It seems the single masses could not resist the call of the Pied Piper of Spouses, if the Nation is anything to go by;

As the heavens opened up, the enthusiastic women paid little attention to damage done to their hair and makeup in their attempt to outrun police who were trying to turn away the crowds from the already packed KICC plenary hall.

For several hours, business came to a standstill as police and security guards from the KICC and the Covenant Singles and Married Ministries struggled to keep the thousands of women at bay.

An excerpt from the article in the Standard

He (Pastor Chris Ojigbani) would show testimonies of women and men who claimed that they had received not one, but some as many as three marriage proposals in one day, after attending the said pastor’s conferences on marriage

Another snippet from the Nation

The man of the moment, Pastor Ojigbani, who preached for more than four hours on Friday, told his ecstatic audience: “Good men are not all taken. By the end of today, you will get your suitor … The spirit has told me that one of you by morning will have four suitors … Now, who will you choose?”

I wonder, have things gotten so bad for Kenyan women?! What happened to heeding the clarion call of independence from FIDA about oppressive backward Kenyan men. Weren't these same women the bunch that had Destiny's Child Independent Women as their theme song sometime back? I guess the joys of singlehood don't seem to be as cracked up as they seem to be? Or maybe we can blame society for making women think that life isn't complete without a husband?

I think another thing to blame is urbanization and Westernization. I mean the more urbanized we get, the less bonds you have with neighbours and family thus making it harder to meet the man of your dreams. Let's add the fact that many women nowadays are financially well off and will not marry a man who is doing the same or better than they are, which of course given the level of unemployment in Kenya cuts down on the pool of eligible bachelors big time.

Also let's keep it real, women sometime back realized that they could support themselves financially and have children without the extra burden of a man. While on the other hand men realized that they didn't need to get married to have kids, could hire help to clean/cook for them and with the break from tradition can sleep around with women without being expected to marry them. So for many men marriage just isn't a priority making it harder for the women who have dreams of a big white wedding.

From what I see, it seems that marriage seems to offer far more for the women than it does for the men, so I can understand women rushing to the "apostle" for proposals. I for one I'm sure he raked a good amount of offerings in exchange for his teachings. I wonder if he used Proverbs 31 in his teachings? Because one thing I like to ask women out there is that you may want to be a wife but are you really wife material? There is more to marriage than just a wedding and being called Mrs.

Alice Mwali, 27, purchasing and supplies professional

I would not mind getting someone to propose to me before the end of the service and even if I do not get one today, I hope it will be in the near future.

I am just smarting out of a relationship that lasted for about a year. I opted to leave the man because he could not trust me with anything.

Dear Alice, you are single, as a single woman if someone you are not dating or are familiar with would propose to you from out of the blue; you should be afraid, very afraid. Plus don't take so long next time to realize a man is not worth being with, you aren't getting any younger - Acolyte, Professional Curmudgeon and Agony Uncle

Real talk, there is nothing wrong with being single, embrace it and enjoy it! Ladies if all fails, they are always cats; the cats of Kenya could use some cat ladies.....

Moving on, I ran across these two hilarious videos on youtube.

It seems Mehment Scholl (the dude on the right in the video above) recently watched the video of Jessica Kastrop being nailed below. His flinch is nothing short of priceless!

I do think the dude who kicked the ball that hit the reporter's head must have been a sniper in a past life.

Speaking of women and sports, I think a post on the whole Ines Sainz saga is in order. Even if you aren't an NFL fan, it made for interesting reading.

ps: I didn't know that it took years to get a divorce in Kenya! For that reason alone, I'm going to really have to rethink this marriage thing. Imagine wanting out but the wheels of justice slowly grinding keeping you on lock?! I salute those sitting out their time!

Midweek Flashbacks and other stories...

I have the strangest flashbacks, and recently the image of a Staedtler pencil hopped into my head. I remember these were not the cheapest pencils so you kept them close. Also what you may not know unless you were an art student like me (ahem!) is that HB was the middle pencil in the scale. After that the you would move onto the H which meant the lead was harder so the pencil wrote lighter while on the other side were the B which meant the lead was softer so the pencil wrote darker. That there is my obscure fact of the day for you....

I knew nothing good would come of the shenanigans of Kim Kardashian! You see Laurence Fishburne's daughter, Montana came up with the bright idea that doing a sex tape like Kim Kardashian would give her the career (not that she has one) a major leg up. In the words of Lafayette of True Blood (best show ever) "Bitch have you done lost your mind?!" Her 19 year old self seems to forget the fact that Kim K actually ended fighting against the release of that tape and harsh as this may sound. White women and black women are viewed very differently in American eyes, you see white women are seen as pure and virginal (even though I know that's not true- dont ask how), that's another reason black dudes running around with white women makes some people's blood boil. While on the other hand black people are seen as oversexed, so when a white woman who isn't a porn star does a sex tape it's something people have to see, but when a black woman does a sex tape, it's seen as business as usual. Oh what's more ironic? She says she hears her dad is upset but that one day he will understand? Once again, you have lost your mind! I blame Kim K and I Sex and The City (yeah I said it!)

Oh I guess Laurence failed to keep his daughter off the pole as Chris Rock puts it below...

late edit- I see Montana did a rap video with her sex tape co-star (slightly nsfw). I guess it was a practice run? Let's hope she got those unsightly bruises on her butt taken care of. I won't even comment about the poor quality of the rhymes in that video!

Observations

I hear Wyclef may run to be president of Haiti, noble aim but dude politics is a dirty game, let it go!

So T.I married his long time or should I say long suffering girlfriend Miss Piggy I mean Tiny. He then got upset over twitpics of the wedding that have been floating around. I would too if my wife was wearing a dress that looked like it was stolen from a Mexican girl's Quinceanera. Before you think I'm a hater, go google those pics for yourself.

Obama just turned 49 it seems, ironic thing is that it seems like he came from nowhere. I think I should do some research and see what else he was doing other than being a Senator and community organizer. Maybe he was in the middle east getting indoctrinated or erasing his birth certificate and birth records in Kenya (Tea Party/Birther joke)

Anyway back to everyday life, later!!!!!

Guess Who's Back????

Damn it's been a while since I've been here! But ya'll know often blogging is like Hotel California.....you can check out, but you can never leave. That and the fact that I've been called out my absence!

So the WC is over, life back to normal till of course EPL and the other leagues get started. My main gripe with most American sports is that the game never flows, there is always a time out, end of quarter or a commercial break waiting in the wings to break up the flow. Anyway as this whole LeBron saga has shown, it's all about the $$$.

Onto other things, what in the world happened to the Joseph Hellon dude and Esther Arunga? Weren't they supposed to be on Larry King or something of the sort? I must say I miss the sheer entertainment that they had given us, over the months.

Also seems that there is a shifty online university from California going around "selling" honorary doctorate degrees to African leaders and politicians. To think I wasted my time going to classes and actually getting a job, I should have just started my own online college and flown from country to country selling degrees. I might just do that and call my university, Universal College; oh wait, that name's taken right?

Does anyone know what happened to itsneverthatserious.com? That was one of the most interesting Kenyan showbiz gossip blogs I had come across in a long time. If you know of any that are just as good and just dont kiss stars asses then by all means do share!

One of my chic pals is getting married so I have been drafted into a wedding committee. Yes, Acolyte himself is on a wedding committee, talk about irony! Well since my pal is somewhat scandalous her committee is like 95% men, that may change when the stragglers join us but I somewhat doubt it. I know some women find their fellow gender hard to get along with but when 90% of your pals are dudes, I think you can only blame other women so far.

Anyway time for me to get back on the grind......

Behold! Friday!

Damn it's been over a month since I have posted anything, I need to deal with that stat! Anyway as I get my mind pumping, I just thought I would share this video...

Sad as it is, I find that video hilarious since it casts satire on peoples' fear of black males. It also reminds me that my lazy ass hasn't been in the gym for a while!

So tomorrow is the last day of the week, wonderful since for 2 days I won't have to deal with the idiots I work with. I tell you if it weren't for the fact that I would go to jail and end up with a criminal record, I would give someone a throat chop. Oh and to my CEO for the last effing time! Control + V to paste since you seem to have trouble doing it with the mouse!

In other news, as of the 1st of June I begin my 6 month period of total celibacy. Sex lately isn't doing anything for me, waste of time and energy (and if you say I'm not doing it right, I'm going to kick you in the face). As people in the streets say "Imma do me" no pun intended. Of course this may put a crimp in dating since sooner or later the sex question comes up, so I won't bother with dating too. No strokes = no drama, that's what I think.

Anyway time for me to get some zzzzzzs in since I have to be at work in a few hours time.

Reason 242 dating American chics sucks - Claim to want to sample new ethnic meals then when you take them to an ethnic restaurant restaurant ie Ethiopian, they pic the item on the menu that is closest to American food ie Pasta or a sandwhich instead of of an ethnic item ie injeera. 2 thumbs down!

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!