Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Bila Trains!

It seems that the parts of the KBW blogosphere I go to has been blowing up with tales of Kenyanmusings woes.
Then it is only fitting that I put up this post related to that issue.The Bila train.Now there are two kinds of bila trains.
Bila Train 1

Bila Train 1 is for those who don't mind the ride and are in no rush to get to their destination.They have become accustomed to the fact that they are on this train and are now enjoying it.As you can see the train is small as not many want to be in it.The passengers here are by choice, it may be due to religion, faith, principle or getting accustomed to circumstances.These people don't mind the ride and often get chances to get off for good but do not take them.Good example....yours truly!

Bila Train 2

Bila Train 2 is for those who are in a rush to get where they are going and get off as soon as possible.The passengers on this train outnumber the passengers in the first several times over as they are not on this train by choice but by circumstance, personal mistakes, geographic location, lack of skills and the list goes on and on.This train moves hardly gives time for one who wishes to escape a chance and if one does get off, they must run away from the platform as fast as possible before they are reeled back in by the conductors who are always on the lookout for runaways!
Now ask yourself which train are you on?
Also for those of you who are on train number 1 with me, I have some questions.Am I allowed to get off while the train gets more coal at the next platform?Am I allowed to jump out and run alongside the train if I see something interesting outside?As long as my feet dont stop moving
I 'm still on the train, right?I was just curious that's all.....

25 comments:

Kenyangal said...

I'm on bila train 1 and my fickle opinion is that as long as a part of your body remains on the train (i.e you don't go ALL the way while having sexual relations) then you are still allowed on bila train 1. Actually I was stopping by to inform you that you daily post is late and was pleasantly surprised to find it up finally!!

Prousette said...

If you get off kijana you are allowed to get back on but you have to acknowledge the fact that even though you were running next to the track in the same direction as your original destination, or waiting for it to load the coal, you were off and maybe dug your teeth into a banana or two, OK?

I smell a big foul rat here.

akiey said...

You could get off/stay based on the same ideals, principles that had you get on the train in the 1st place.

There's the shoo-shoo train & the pheeeew! train. While some are on one or the other and at times wishing/wondering if they could switch, some folks may infact be non-passengers. They probably prefer to operate on stable ground dishing out tickets or checking railtrack traffic.

Movie Buff said...

Im on No.1 and not leaving anytime soon. I have kunywad some PMs and I aint looking like I am going to awake in the next..... yeah... that long...

LAKINI..... abt question posed....umm.... I think kuteleza si kuanguka.... so u can always hop right in!

acolyte said...

@ Kenyangal
Thanks for checking on me!I am feeling your opinion 200%!
@ prou
I was not off!The train had stopped!:( But there may be something afoot....
@ akiey
So which of the 3 categories are you in?

acolyte said...

@ movie buff
Good to see that I have company on train number 1.Let's enjoy the view and not get off at too many platforms!

I use the bus :( said...

What about them that are on the plane, but they have to take a train to get to their destinations - which means their journeys, on the same path, are intermittent.
I am not as clever as the rest of you so ignore me while I laugh my ass off twicefold.

@Everybody -lololol and Aco your analogies have me laughing like mad - that is so clever.

spicebear said...

i'm with guess here ... i'm not on either train. if i am on one i am on transit, waitng to transfer to something else. maybe a tuk tuk? or a bicycle? sigh.

me thinks you ought to be transport minister of bilas and categorise all these things.

mama mia said...

lol, witty ...

when you eventually get off the train, if you do get off at the right stop/station/destination, trust me, the wait will have been well worth your while.

KenyanMusings said...

Bilas(not about the train).....you stay on the train or else.....Ala! You cannot have your cake and eat it. Ati run besides it...Dude Phleeze!!

For the longest time, I was in Train 1, easy peasy.....

Then I got some, it was nipped,
Now, I am back on train 2, na pia hiyo nashuka by the way.....

Hi you

Shiroh said...

Funny one. I think you are on the second one.

acolyte said...

@ guess
as long as you're moving, that's the main thing!
@ spicebear
I will get on that asap seeing as you have added loads of other means of transport.
@ mama mia
but the wrong stages sure suck and are a waste of time!
@ shiroh
That was someone who looked like me thats all!

The Devious One said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Devious One said...

The railway tracks are still being laid by the damn coolies so Im hangin in limbo for now..but as soon as they're done, I shall board on the train that ofers the most competitve fare and perks !

PS
how much is the fare? (scrambling for change)

5:23 AM, May 04, 2006

Mutumia said...

Aco stop misleading the general public. Train one is for guys who recognize that since they're going to e.g. Nbo to Msa, why get a train that shukishas in Tsavo, near that bar that was was owned by the polic chief that was poisoned, the place where Kenyatta used to stop on the way to the Coast etc. etc. If this is your plan, panda the slow express train not the one that stops hapo na pale. Again, it's cheaper (since you're going home and straight home, you don't need lingerie, lip gloss, clean clothes etc.etc.)

The other- the gisty one- is for people who need to alight... Si you see the brakes are very un-flintstone-ish? It's also chap-chap and expensive (in this one, people keep getting their hair did, nails done, clothes for the club etc.). This is a train for people who know where they;re going, when they have to be there and need a ka-port in the train for their laptops (plus on-board wifi connections). In short, people like me.

(PS.... I have frequent train miles from the other train and they are sorta transferable lakini the exchange rate is as crappy as Idi Amin era Ugandan shillings to the pre-Opec dollar--- lakini holla at me and I can keep a seat for you (next to the cafe car!)...

acolyte said...

@ devious one
U have too many excuses!Pack your bags and get on the train with us!
@ mutumia
Seems you know these trains more than I do!But stop dissing us who are on the sight seeing train!We are classy too!But I will appreciate the seat in the train next to the cafe car if I decide to jump trains!

>d® said...

I'll do a Tom No Talent Cruise [Buff 2006®] move here and hop from train to train at will!

akiey5 said...

Trains?lol!...nah, Aco, am just the Ticket Master man! I work, shop, eat out & even sightsee very close to home so I walk everywhere I go,lol!

Milonare said...

Sup Aco

I see you're still giving excuses for being on the bilas train! LOL

A bilas train is a bilas train. Steam engine, electric etc it is still bilas!

Maybe those on the train should stop looking outside and console each other from within LOL

Then the train can be renamed!!!

The Devious One said...

loool @ MILO..ati the ones insied console each other...good idea !

Im still waiting for maendelo ya wilayani to fika my sides..until then...Im on foot patrol !

PS
Hii word verification that looks like Mao Tse Tung approved hainifurahishi !

Gay Nairobi Man said...

Aco,
You visit my blog often and I felt `revenge'was due.

Am on the first train with you..ngai!!! maybe the first time we agree on something.

Mutumia said...

Aco-gator, where you at? I can;t keep this seat forever.

Chap-chap... hii mos-mos haifanyi job on this our gisty train....

Chatterly said...

I am neither on the first nor the second train....i got a major bout of motion sickness so i shukaad...I am just at 'station unknown'
Try leaving the train...all the best, hope it ain't a mirage.

acolyte said...

@ < d
You try jumping and you may slip and find yourself on the rails with both
trains gone!
@ akiey5
Well do you have a tape of your work?I am sure it would make for good viewing?
@ Milonare
Wacha kuongea mbaya my guy!This is more then a train!It is a life style!:D
But trying to jump from train to train is not as easy as it seems!
@ devious one
Now with foot patrol are you going to get anywhere soon?
@ gay nairobi man
Thanks for visiting.It seems this drought is an international phenomenon!
@ Mutumia
Wacha I finish hanging out on the platform and then I can join you!
@ Chatterly
Well being on a moving train doesnt agree with everyone but just be careful that you dont take too long to get back on any train as there may not be any other train for you to get on!I dont plan to get off any train soon!

Stunuh Jay said...

Option D:How about just sticking close to the platform. Every time a train comes by I think it's the one, then I have misgivings, then I have what-ifs. After that I wait for the next train. So until I figure out which way I'm going I'm not even sure I'm on the correct platform!