Thursday, December 10, 2009
Where Tiger went wrong was with his silence. The longer you keep quiet the more the rumours swirl and the worse it looks for you, he should have learned from people like David Letterman and Hugh Grant who were quick to admit their wrongs, apologize and keep it moving. But what was Tiger's number 1 problem? He went about his extra curricular activities the wrong way. Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form condone infidelity during marriage. The information given below is for research purposes only.
1. If you are going to get a mistress; trade up! - One look at Tiger's wall of shame and none of the girls other than maybe the club hostess, Rachel can hold a torch to his wife. For the potential trouble you are looking out for stepping out, at least make sure it is worth it. But on the other hand, Tiger Woods is known for being awkward socially, he actually had someone reach out to his wife to ask her on a date when they first met instead of doing it himself! So with that lack of game, it seems that he went with women where the statement,"do you know who I am?" was enough to get things started.
2. Leave behind as little evidence as possible! - I know for a public figure like Tiger Woods this is a bit harder but according to media reports what set things off was text messages on his phone, that and the leaked voicemails. Dude, this is where you either get a prepaid phone that never goes home with you, plus you never leave voicemails. Since the phone isn't registered under your name even if the texts get out, that leaves you with some wiggle room when it comes to deniability.
3. One at a time! - It's hard enough to manage two women (one wife and a mistress), so throwing in all these other women into the mix even if they are one offs is asking for trouble. What's worse is that he was seeing these women on regular occasions. If you are juggling all those balls, you are bound to drop some.
4.Escorts - The difference between an escort and a regular chic is that escorts get paid extra to shut up and leave. It is usually in their best interest to do so unless they are busted which is another story. Yes that route doesn't appeal to most men but if you have as much to lose as Tiger does, it's a good alternative. Many stars and leaders go that route, Elliot Spitzer anyone?
5. Clarify The Situation - Latest reports from one of the mistresses have her saying how Tiger said he would leave his wife for her and such. The chances of that ever happening were one in a million, Tiger's clean image was his brand and I'm sure he wasn't in a rush to jeopardize that (before the blow up). Had he let this chic know her place as a side chic and maybe even let her know that she wasn't the only side chic, I think there wouldnt be the rush to expose as there is now. Many of these chics are rushing to the media as they didn't know they were not alone so are trying to reap as much fame as they can as possible.
Anyway that's a whole lot of shoulda woulda coulda, what's done is done; let's sit back and enjoy the show.
One last open question to all which you can answer in the comments, I was talking to some female relatives about relationships and they are of the opinion that married men should not have single male friends. Their point of view is that they do not have the same goals and further more that singles can lead the married men astray. I countered that unlike women men do not base their friendships on the relationships in their lives but on shared interests, I can have the same sports, hobbies, financial goals as a married man and wouldn't mind spending time together sharing them. That is why it is hard for men to bond if they dont have a shared activity to bond over as we just don't sit and talk the same way women do. Also I know plenty of no good married men who lead their married friends astray. What do you think ladies, single friends any good for married men? Time to return to regular life, hasta manyana!
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Thanksgiving Holiday is a big occasion in the Kenyan diaspora in the States. Kenyans usually gather in Atlanta for the 4 days for various events usually clubbing events but of course other groups do choose to tour the city on their own. Over different years the events have been run by one or more groups ranging from Kenyaniyetu, 2kat and other now defunct groups whose names I can't recall.
Anyway this year's events were being run by the TakeoverDJs, they have been in the business for a few years now and don't limit themselves to any one state. So this year due to the recession and prior commitments, I wasn't able to attend all the events but after watching the trailer for Wamba, the screening was a must to attend.
That Saturday evening of the screening, I was on my utmost Western time. I got free parking in front of the venue and strolled into the lobby. I had paid for my ticket online so all I had to do was pick it up (and save on box office fees). The crowd that showed up was moderate in size and pretty well dressed since the venue was at a Museum. They had a photographer who was taking pictures on the "red carpet" while people milled around and mingled. At that point I then thought the movie would then start at 7 pm. Come 7pm the theater doors had not been opened and the main organizer DJ Fully Focus and the rest of his crew were pacing in and out of the theater looking a bit harried. At this point in time people were getting slightly restless but were still in good spirits even though the lobby was not meant to accommodate so many people so quite a few people had to stand, 7.30 pm arrived and the Director introduced himself and said that there were "technical problems" and they were working to rectify them. At that point quite a few people went to the box office and got their refunds and left. Those who were left waited and then at around 8.30 pm the Director and DJ Fully Focus announced that due to some snafu or other they couldn't show the movie and that people could get their refunds from the box office and those who paid online would be refunded in 24 hours time, the Director did say though that he had a director's cut of the movie that he would show.
I did stay and watch the director's cut which was not the whole movie but around 1 hour's worth. The movie is most definitely worth watching and I shall be sure to try and get hold of the finished product. But in terms of organization, Takeover DJs get a big FAIL in that area. Call me harsh but this was not an event that was done on the fly but that had been planned for months, to add insult to injury people had to wait almost 2 hours (what would have been the screening time) to be told about "technical problems". The whole issue just resulted in alot of time being wasted and loss of face for the organizers; the only silver lining is that refunds are to be issued (failing which I can dispute the charges with my credit card company).
With that being swept aside, I need to comment on Kenyan events in Atlanta. Slowly over time, the number of groups holding events has dwindled. Part of it is of course due to the recession but another reason is that Kenyans are choosing instead to go to regular clubs, bars or just hold house parties. From my observations and discussions with a few Kenyans is that part of the reason is that too many of these groups became money hungry. Case in point cover charge, when you go to any regular club out here entrance is usually free upto 11pm or midnight depending on the club but when it comes to Kenyan bashes hosted by these groups you will pay cover charge irregardless of how early you come in (I do recall one bash by 2kat sometime back where it was free before 11pm but that was the exception rather than the rule). The same also applies to how late it gets, quite a few clubs stop manning the door at around 2 am or later; this doesn't apply for the Kenyan bashes. I do know that renting a venue is expensive but what some promoters do instead of depending on the cover charge to make money is that they split the cover charge with the venue owners and instead cut a deal where they make money from the drinks sold, given the amount of liquor Kenyans drink; that is a better route. There are ways to make money in the entertainment business while at the same time charging revelers less, other groups are doing it and I think the Kenyan targeting ones should do the same or at the end of the day people will vote with their feet.
Anyway at this point in time I am waiting for the usual barbs about how I am not supporting Kenyans, or how if I can do better I should do so myself among the usual comebacks you get for criticizing your own people. As long as the issue at hand involves my hard earned money, be sure that I am going to speak. Have a nice week people!
Monday, November 16, 2009
I was going into unknown territory that day and I had to be prepared. I quickly drafted a quick itinerary of my trip and left it somewhere that family members could find in case I went missing, I made sure I could run in the shoes I was wearing, and packed some snacks and water (couldn't take the risk of being drugged or worse). I gave myself the once over and made sure that what I was wearing was enough for me not to stand out but at the same time not to fit in. I did not know what I was going to encounter so I had to be 100% aware.
On a more serious note, I did not see any anti-gay protesters there; I guess that would be like jumping into the lion's mouth given the sheer number of lgbt people and supporters that were there. My take on the whole gay marriage issue? I think alot of the problem stems from the fact that marriage was principally a religious institution which was also then turned into a legal union recognized and enforced by the law. In an ideal world we know that religion and the state should be separate, I think even Christ said something to that effect. So what happens when a group of people who decide to demand their rights to a legal union which the law (at that point and in certain states did not have a definite opinion as regards the gender of both parties)? Chaos, since the religious definition of marriage is between a man and a woman (at least in Christianity). So what's happening is that most people are looking at the gay marriage issue from a Christian view point where it's wrong while the gays see it as their legal secular right. What some states have done is gone ahead to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman (Prop 8 etc), while some states have given them the go ahead; which has made things tricky because you can be a legally married couple in one state but not in another state (there was a NY times article about that). My take on the issue is that marriage needs to be made a completely secular institution so if you want to marry a man, woman, transgender or your bicycle; you can go ahead and do so. But as long as we have the current situation, little progress will be made as each group will feel that their rights and beliefs are being violated. I think the law and the world are big enough to accommodate both sides, but as long as everyone tries to set the other side straight and to enforce tolerance and acceptance; it's going to be chaos for a long time to come. Now that all that is said and done, take your picket signs off my lawn; I'm going back to the land of Apathy. (I know there are meant to be paragraph breaks somewhere but its been a while since I blogged so mea culpa)
Oh and I know some of you are wondering, did I see any girl on girl action? I did but it took hours upon hours of hiding in the brush, you see when you have a full head of locs you fit in rather well with some bushes. Sadly though the two girls in question were not video vixen hot, nor did they beckon me from my hiding place to participate; damn those adult movies! Have a productive week!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Moving on, its been monotonus life as usual for me so nothing really major worth blogging about has gone down.
I know I owe ya'll a part 2 of the Weed PSA and those are on their way. I just realized maybe I need to do something about my locs, I have had 2 of my very own Kenyan brethren pass me over to the Jamaicans on sight, what happened to being able to identify your fellow Kenyan from miles away without them speaking, maybe I need to grow a forehead or fivehead?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The first time.....
The first time I was in College. I had gone on a retreat of sorts organised by an organization that brings together College students that are interested in Business/Marketing that kind of thing.
We stayed in Naivasha or Nakuru, my memory is hazy on that one (yes I know I just set myself up). What I do recall is that the facility was beautiful and was very close to nature, so it wasn't strange to see gazelles and the like on the compoud. We would have sessions related to the organiztion and goals during the day and then let loose at night.
As always when you have such trips there are people who tag along who do more night activities than day activities and so anyway we were at pool side after a long night of drinking and partying and a dude I knew pulls out a blunt and the fun began. So after playing "pass the dutchie...," the herb began to kick in so it was laughter all around. The funniest thing though is that there was a tape I had of Tupac and the outlawz playing, so I was asked who they were and all I could say at the point in time was, "ni mabeshte wa Tupac." Needless to say this elicited alot of laughter and I was reminded about it for months on end.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
With my current economic situation, can someone give me access to where Real Madrid get their money from? They have spent $282 million this month on 2 players! All I ask is just a small donation of 1% of the transfer fee spent and I shall leave quietly. Till then I think I am taking a plan to Spain to state my case.
I was reading an article in the NY times about how their are very many sexless marriages in the States.
Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a little more than once a week, according to data collected from the General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972. But there are wide variations in that number. Married people under 30 have sex about 111 times a year. And it’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.
The reasons range from health issues to poor libido by one partner all the way to infidelity. What was most entertaining were the comments.
I had sex with my ex all the time until I gave up my apartment and we moved in together. After that, he just watched football all the time! When I wondered what had happened to us, he claimed that level of performance was not sustainable. I felt I had been lured in by false pretenses. - Yes this is a woman commenting, I often thought it was women who were guilty of the bait and switch when it came to sex but I guess there are some men out there who are just as guilty. I wonder if he was on some special fitness program to keep up his performance levels.
My wife never was interested in sex, or in understanding anything about it. I love her for many other reasons, but I go to prostitutes for sex. I’d go out of my mind without them. - My question is, "Why did you marry her then?!"
I was in a virtually sexless marriage for 18 years.
I agree that lack of intimacy is the main factor in declining sex. Indeed, being starved for intimacy was really what impelled me to leave the marriage. I think I would have tolerated lack of sex (say for medical reasons) had there been true, deep intimacy.
Another BIG factor so far not mentioned: most women meet/marry spouses while on birth control pills. The Pill blunts pheromone detection, which underlies “chemical” attraction. A few years into a marriage you go off the pill and discover you actually aren’t a chemical match. - I wonder how accurate it is about the Pill and women's attraction or lack there of? Any ideas anyone?
People have gotten very fat. Why isn’t this discussed. That might be an important reason for the sexless marriage. - Talk about being blunt! All those accounts have given me great pause when it comes to marriage. Sex isn't everything but if you are in a marriage and the sex sucks or is absent, let's just say in my case; there would be issues and that's putting it mildly.
Anyway last week I went to see Femi Kuti perform. I narrowly missed his Kenyan performance a few years back at Safari 7s so this more than made up for it. I'm pressed for time, so I shall post a few pics next time I post.......
Friday, May 22, 2009
I love watching roasts and I know where I'll be on Monday night, watching the roast of John Witherspoon! Some clips were released on the net that just peaked my interest.
This is also another hilarious video I came across, the whole series cracked me up.
As you can see, this dude right here has been watching lots of youtube. Yes most of it is done during working hours punctuated by 1.5 hr lunches; why? Let's just say that with stuff has been going down at work that would write several Dilbert comic books, it's gotten to the level where I'm just treading the water till I get to shore
Oh one more video!
Who wants to bet cash that if he had done this in Kenya, he wouldn't have made it to the police station? He would have been shot while "escaping".
This long weekend I plan on going to see Terminator and Wolverine. Yes once in a while I actually eschew getting stuff online for free and splash the cash. I think after the weekend rolls by I'll have my blogging mojo back. Nice weekend people!
Friday, May 15, 2009
I was on one of the many entertainment sites and came across the video below. Congratulations to our Tanzanian brothers on churning out the first African playboy Playmate!
I know as Kenyans we love English football but at times some people take things too far. I mean to hang yourself because your team loses a game?! I do get the impression that he may have had other issues going on, and that's what pushed him off the edge.
In the same vein, this video here is dedicated to Chelsea fan numero uno, Archer!
Moving on, this is a PSA to the Indian Restaurant that is at my local strip mall. You and your staff are really nice people from the 2 times that I have been to your restaurant, in fact that is why I have been their twice because you don't warrant more that 1 visit. The reason you are not making good money is not only because of the state of the economy, but also because the food you cook leaves alot to be desired. The last time I was there the food was bland as hell and it seems the chef even went out of his way to burn the naan (bread). I went online to read reviews and it seems that I am not the only one who thinks the same. So please shape up or you won't be in business much longer....
While I'm putting people on blast, I might as well add the CEO of my job to the list. In many ways the CEO of where I work would make a very good African President. Why? Let me tell you;
1. Like many African Presidents she started out with a vision of sorts but somewhere down the line she lost it.
2. Like many African Presidents, she has stayed past her sell by date.
3.Like many African Presidents she appoints people for their skills but dismisses their advice more often than not.
4. Like many African Presidents she seems blissfully delusional of her regime falling apart around her.
It's hilarious to say the least because the atmosphere at my job reminds me alot of what I experienced working with another organisation I blogged about. A workmate came to work yesterday and then 2 hours into the day she was like "screw this!" and went home under the pretext of sickness. I have around 3 weeks of sicktime piled up, so I may use some soon; oh and people spend half the time at work looking for other jobs. Leadership isn't easy I admit and when it begins to go wrong, oh the horror!
Anyway, time to catch up on what I've been missing; TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 04, 2009
First and foremost, I have to say a very big Thanks! I didn't know someone out there actually cared, sniff sniff. So onto the 10 honest things about me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Kind of weird and interesting to say the least.
I wish CFAs (Convenient F*cking Arrangement) were that easy to come come across. Like I have said before, dating is alot of work; too much work. Hence my retirement from the whole process. I'll just watch things unfold from the sideline. That reminds me. the person who said that communication is key when it comes to relationships needs to be kicked in the teeth. People will hear what they want to hear no matter how many different ways and how many times you say it. Anyway since I'm now watching the game from the Director's box, it's all good.
Other than that I've been riding out the recession here to the best of my ability, because sadly the good times are gone and it shall be quite sometime till things turn around. Of course in times like this is when companies decide to try and do what they can to maximize their revenue, credit card companies are jacking up interest rates on those who can and do pay their bills (urgh). While other companies charge you for anything extra they give you other than the service you paid for, for example with my gas company the only way you can pay your bill without a fee is to do it the old fashioned way ie snail mail; so rest assured I have a whole pile of stamps for that. But on the flipside, there are loads and loads of sales going on at the malls for those who have money to burn. But you know we Kenyans are survivors, should things get tight; I'll be the dude with the parafin lamp and stove in his apartment.....
ps: my other part time joint http://twitter.com/lordacolyte
Monday, April 06, 2009
I love dogs esp golden retrievers
I love taking naps
I love reading comic books
I love watching The Soup
I love watching Family Guy
I love Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I love mangoes
I love the sight of cleavage
I love the 2 old dudes who heckle in the muppet show
I love the part of town I live in
I love reading the New York Times, Newsweek and Time
I love the sound of silence when I come home from work
I love stimulating conversation
I like being around free spirits
I love the sound of music (not the play just all good music)
I love the internet
I love last but not least all my blog fans and online pals!
Have a happy Monday and keep your head up!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I hate how people you communicate with on the internet are nowhere near as interesting in real life.
I hate my job.
I hate the people I work for
I hate the state of the economy.
I hate dealing with stupid entitled individuals at work.
I hate people who think a few extra letters at the end of their name makes them think they are better than everyone else.
I hate people who hear but don't understand.
I hate people who just can't shut the f*ck up!
I hate people who can't see the bigger picture.
I hate having to pay bills, they just don't stop!
I hate that the print media is slowly dying.
I hate needy people.
I hate having to pay so much for fresh fruits and vegetables.
I hate that nobody is owning up to playing a major role in the recession.
I hate that color aside leaders everywhere look out for themselves and not the little people.
I hate the fact that I'm so apathetic nowadays..................
That feels so much better
Regular programming shall resume shortly
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
There are some words that men loathe to hear, the worst combination being; " were is this thing going?" This is of course in reference to the situation you have going with a lady and not the sci-fi themed roller coaster ride you thought you would take her on that she really isn't enjoying. You see I can't speak for all men but there is this wise saying; "men get with women thinking they shall never change, women get with men thinking they shall change."
You see most men love a certain status quo. If we get to have sex with you on Saturday nights after the club and also get some midweek head and all we have to do is call you once in a while and take you out for a meal and to the club; we are good with that. We are in no rush to spoil a good thing, of course you may get with the adventerous dude who may decide on asking if a friend could join in (male or female). But for the most part it's all good. On the other hand though, many women see this is a start and of course want to build towards more. When of course she sees the dude isn't going in this same direction is when problems start.
After lots of pondering, thinking, contemplating on her part; that is when you get the call. "We need to talk," when a woman tell you that, know one thing; you are not going to be the one talking. Best case scenario learn to put on an expression that makes it look like you are listening; also if you are smart make sure your tv is in the periphery and set it to subtitles. You can look pensive and catch up with news at the same time because it's going to be a long long talk.
What I have learnt is that men in general tend to compartmentalize. Out of sight out of mind for the most part, when the girl is away; most men don't sit around pondering the relationship for hours on end unless there is immense drama and anguish involve. Women on the other hand irregardless of the status tend to analyse, discuss and think about what is going on. So it is much to a man's shock when he is asked to "talk" and given a full status report of the relationship when he thought all that was going on was a bit of fun.
Of course some relationship guru will say, "that's why you need to communicate!" That when I counter and tell them, "understanding is internal and individual." Meaning people will hear what they want to hear.
Anyway I've realized I'm rambing for no good reason, I shall let you all figure out your relationships for yourselves; that's my own satirical take on matters. I have to get back to living out Dilbert's adventures in real life.
Oh by the way to Man U fans, sorry about the torrid weekend.......
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I could not find a picture dramatizing my post so the one of the man seated above shall have to do
I am sure many of my female readers who have ever lived in an African country can relate to the following scenario. You get onto a bus or other means of public transport and take a seat. A man comes in a few minutes later and proceeds to sit next to you. He then proceeds to open his legs as wide as possible and crush you into the corner of the seat seemingly oblivious to his actions.
I have referred to it as an African or rather third world issue since proximity is different in the West. People in the West operate like they have small force fields around them repelling each other so as not to get too close to each other. You don't have that luxury in the third world countries so people end up being in close contact more often than not.
Anyway back to the matter at hand. The funny thing is that most men don't even realize that they are doing it until of course the lady seated next to them complains bitterly about it. Sociologists do say that seating with your legs spread eagle when it comes to business is a show of power (feel free to dispute this). That and the fact that we all know how many African and other third world men feel like they are the dog's pyjamas wouldn't preclude them from sitting in such a way. In my defence, I sit like that due to the fact that I have balls of brass. Even so it's always interesting to see how body language and expression changes from place to place according to gender roles and perception. I'll think of that the next time I'm trying to keep my legs closed so as not to smoosh a lady against the the bus window. As for the rest of the men out there, I shall leave it to your ladies to school them since social issues are hardly my forte.
In other news the recession is continuing to bite. I am trying to find a way to blog about it but words fail me for the most part since it's like someone telling you write about a tornado, you know what it is you are looking at but describing it is the hard part. This is a small snippet of the panorama, there is this lady who weathered out the Great Depression in the 30's, she has videos on-line of the frugal meals they made from basic ingredients that got them through. The videos are a hit and her website is down due to too much traffic. But as the Good Book says, "It came to pass," so I am not fretting.
Ps: Useless Acolyte trivia #2301 - Acolyte loves coming home to a silence. He finds it very calming and relaxing....
Friday, February 20, 2009
Anyway I have been looking at many relationships that I have come across here and it got me to thinking. Have we slowly become a society of people who can't handle being alone? Please note there is a difference between alone and lonely as I use them.
Boy has life and everyday activities, Girl has life and everyday activities. Boy meets Girl, they like each other, begin spending as much time as possible together even to the expense of some of the activities they used to do individually, when not together they are in constant communication (not hard in the cellphone,facebook age). Girl and Boy split up, vacuum caused by absence of significant other proves too much to take, each jumps into the next relationship as soon as possible.
I know that's a simplistic view but believe me I have seen it and experienced it. I have seen people drop everything and have their lives revolve around a relationship. Makes me wonder if any of the interests and friendships they had before this were of any meaning or just a means of passing time before the next relationship came up.
I am all for spending time with your significant other but when it seems that you are reattached siamese twins, that doesn't work for me. I'm a simple man, there are thing that I like to do and I also like my space. This is not to say that I wouldn't tell whoever I was dating what I'm doing and where I am going. But 24-7 togetherness, no way no how. I'm a fan of my life, your life and our life. I like it when you can grow apart (in a good way) and also miss each other. Once in a while be alone without being lonely. Let's just say the more my private time was encroached on in the past by exes, the faster they became exes.
Anyway I guess that's why I would get a big FAIL when it comes to marriage according to common convention. I guess I'm beginning on rambling. All I can say that being alone and lonely are two different things. Being alone is not a bad thing.....
In other news, I am now on twitter; do share your pages in the comments and I shall follow you and you can follow me. Yes I finally yielded to the trend.
Other than that I'm just here slowly watching the economy die a slow death. It's apparent in the smallest things. I'm planning a post on this. My most recent observation, the staff at my local store has changed from teens to middle aged. No they did not age, it's just that the jobs that were once done by teens on a part time basis have now been taken over on a full time basis by older folk.
Have a lay off free weekend!
Ps: Useless Acolyte trivia #2418 - Acolyte loves pillows and sleeps with 4 in his bed.....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
FOUR THINGS I’M PASSIONATE ABOUT
1. My Health - I'm not a gym buff or a health nut but I do like to take care of myself. So I don't eat junk food, go to the gym 4-5 times a week, drink alcohol once a week or less, don't use sugar, don't cook/eat red meat at home, take vitamin supplements, avoid canned foods, love fresh fruit and try to sleep at least 7 hours daily. But other than that I'm just like the rest of you.
2. Sci-fi/fantasy - I'm a certified nerd, my life just doesn't feel complete if I'm not indulging in any of the two at any given time.
3. News/Information - I love to know what's happening in the world and I love to learn. So it's nothing weird for me to read like 5 plus new sites every morning.
4. Black/African Empowerment - I think that there is so much better and further we can do as a people. So I feel strongly about issues that affect us directly.
FOUR WORDS OR PHRASES THAT I USE A LOT
2. Hmph - This is not a word per se but I use it when I chat online quite a bit.
3. Conyo - This is a spanish swear word
4. Kubaff - This one never grows old
FOUR THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Go sky diving - The experience of just being so far up in the sky is life changing to say the least.
2. To Choke Someone Out like in the vid below
Yes I'm a psycho, so sue me!
3. To take a year off everyday life and just travel the exotic parts of the world - The hum drum of everyday life terrifies me, and I would like to get out and about before I am boxed in with a marriage, mortgage and kids (shivers).
4. To do something that would earn me short term fame - Yes I'd like to enjoy the good life that comes with being famous and recognized just for a short time and then go back to being everyday me before it gets boring or goes to my head.
FOUR THINGS THAT I’VE LEARNT FROM THE PAST
1. Hurting People Hurt People - The more baggage and hurt someone is carrying from the past, the more likely the are to bring drama to your life. Call me harsh but I give such people a wide berth esp when it comes to relationships.
2. Common Sense Is Not Common - I look at the things that people do all the time, and this becomes clearer and clearer everyday.
3. If A Woman Asks You If She Is Hot Just Say Yes - Do not give an honest answer or attempt to rationalize the answer. Say Yes and smile, it shall save you alot of trouble.
4. Sex Just Isn't Worth The Trouble It Brings - Through my general observations and personal experiences, sex just brings too much drama to the table. Whether you are in a relationship or not, it just brings too many issues, abstinence is just so much more appealing.
There, I'm done!
I also came across this interesting meme that I decided to fill in. One word answers only!
1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your significant other? None
3. Your hair? long
4. Your mother? busy
5. Your father? deceased
6. Your favorite? fruit
7. Your dream last night? forgot
8. Your favorite drink? juice
9. Your dream/goal? Peace
10. What room you are in? Office
11. Your hobby? Internet
12. Your fear? Failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? successful
14. Where were you last night? Home
15. Something that you are not? Patient
16. Muffins? Nah
17. Wish list item? Money
18. Where you grew up? Nairobi
19. Last thing you did? Eat
20. What are you wearing? Skechers
21. Your TV? Dusty
22. Your pets? Imaginery
23. Friends? Few
24. Your life? Complicated
25. Your mood? Mellow
26. Missing someone? Nah
27. Car? Dirty
28. Something you're not wearing? Vest
29. Your favorite store? Publix
30. Your favorite color? black
33. When is the last time you laughed? Morning
34. Last time you cried? Eons
35. Who will resend this? Hmmmmmm
36. One place that I go to over and over? Bathroom
37. One person who texts me regularly? Pal
38. My favorite place to eat? Couch
39. My favorite food? Cantonese
I'm sharing them both with Gish, Sunnykay and Bomseh. Regular blogging shall resume soon!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Okay as I move on, let me issue this disclaimer: We are all beautiful! Now that I have that off my chest. I find it funny how the world both loves and hates beautiful people. Many beautiful people always complain about how they cannot find real friends or how everyone dislikes them. Beauty can be a great asset but can also be a great weakness. It can be argued where nature doesn't give you brains, it gives you beauty; but that's a whole other discussion.
So how can beauty be a weakness? Well beauty can get someone almost everything and everywhere. But that there is where the weakness lies, without even knowing it, this asset slowly but surely erodes someones' character. This is not to say that there are no beautiful people with character but why do people act in shock whenever they meet a beautiful person who has great character? One compliment given to beautiful women behind their backs is that they have an ugly girl's personality, this of course means that they are accommodative, outgoing and interesting (of course we all know some bitter, recluse and selfish ugly people but that's another post). One thing I have noticed is that beautiful people are rarely ever challenged intellectually by other people, I have been in a setting where this hot girl once said something that was so ludicrous that it would have most people rolling on the ground in laughter but instead the dudes listening to her were listening to her and nodding their heads like they were in the company of Socrates. This is of course how we end up with blondes and meatheads. It's similar to how beautiful people are often rubbish in bed, this is because they will always have people wanting to sleep with them just so they can claim to have done it.
On a serious note, I do have a close friend whose sister is having a nervous breakdown, why? The sister has very good looks and has used them to get what she wants in life. But she is getting older now and her looks are fading, so she is having a mid life crisis of sorts. Her looks define her and now as they are leaving, she doesn't know who she is.
This is not to say that there are not beautiful people out there who have character, indeed there are; they may not be a majority but they exist. Evolution and character development is interesting like that. Also why is it that the chic who is always loudly proclaiming that you can have both brains and looks doesn't have much of both? (cue women hating accusations here)
I have a problem I need help with, I have Tabiosis. This is a disorder characterized by the use of myriad tabs while using any given internet browser, the user may also resort to using multiple browsers on one machine to indulge the urge to view as many websites on the internet as possible. This progresses to not turning off their computer so as to leave tabs open for later viewing. Should anyone of any treatment available I would be most appreciative.
Before you do something questionable, please visit this page.
Anyway I'm off for the weekend. I'll be crying while laughing as I watch tv and some movies this weekend (see video above for reference). Adios!
Friday, January 23, 2009
One thing that I came to realize is that we live in a very sexualized society, half of the products you see advertised on tv use sex appeal as a hook. Don't let me get started on music videos and half of the sitcoms/dramas. Then you have to look at how people dress and what is taken to be the norm in male-female relationships, so of course living in such a society someone not trying to get any esp if they're not religious comes of as an anomaly.
I must admit that no longer being on horseback takes some getting used to but it's not a bad thing. No I do not have a larger porn collection (I do find porn hilarious though) nor do I have a stronger right arm but I have been spending more time at the gym. So I do think people who equate not getting laid with some sort of death have it twisted. Irony would be of course me getting involved in an orgy 24 hours after writing this post.
I'm sure most of you and the rest of the world were watching the Inauguration. I have work mates who even went to Washington to be part of the action. I have my opinion on the over hyping of Obama and how reality is going to be a harsh teacher in the months to come, but that's a post for another day. It's still a historical moment that we need to remember whichever way we can for now.
Anyway Friday is here so it's time for my mini celebration dance and then get my ass back to the grind. Nice Weekend people!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
I was telling a friend about the cold nights we occasionally have and she suggested that instead of me bothering with a space heater or raising my gas bill, that I should buy an electric blanket. I told her that it seemed like a good idea and that I would most def look into it, but in the back of my head the first thought I had was of being electrocuted in my sleep because I broke a sweat or something. Yes I know the odds of that happening are slim to none, but a man is entitled to his paranoia.
Speaking of heat, time for a funny Acolyte story. You see the weather here can be erratic at times depending on the season, it'll be freezing in the morning then it'll get pretty toasty in the afternoon. So that was the situation one day when I was driving to work so I turned up the heat to make sure I didn't get to work with frost bite or something. So as the day went on it got rather warmer, evening came and I got in my car to drive home and felt the interior had become rather warm so I turned on the air conditioning to cool it down. As I was on the road I had the distinct feeling my car was getting hotter inside, to the point I broke a sweat. I then looked at the dash and realized one thing.........I hadn't adjusted the temperature of the air con so I had turned my car into a moving sauna!
A good friend sent me this video by Gnarls Barkley and I have to say it made my day.
Who's Gonna Save My Soul
What I loved most was the break up line and the soon to be ex-boyfriend's response. Nothing cracks me up as much as break up lines. The ironic thing is that some of them are actually genuine but still reek like a bag of 4 day old fish. Case in point see below:
"Yes, I thought we were getting to the point in our relationship where I might start to fall in love with you but your insecurities about how I feel about you have made it clear that I can never fall in love with you."
"I don't want the responsibility of someone else's happiness."
"You're great, but I have so much baggage, and right now I have more bad days than good days...it wouldn't be fair to subject you to that."
Since I'm wonderfully dysfunctional I don't even use break lines. I just go into hiding after acting the fool and await some dude with no morals (usually a friend) to pounce on the vulnerable chic. I then re-emerge to play the shattered cuckolded lover and proceed to dump her there and then. Needless to say some of them have not taken this lightly hence me moving apartments every few months to avoid them. I think I've said enough, don't want to spill my whole M.O. Oh well time to get ready for a nice day of sloth!