No this isn't a story about International giving, it is a story about people getting tired. Have you ever been in a situation where you help someone but a level reaches where you have nothing to give and you think that they can get help elsewhere? This is such a story.
My mum met this lady who was down in the dumps ie no job, unwell and had a young kid. My mum used to help this lady out by giving her advice, friendship and money. This lady also had grown kids and my mum tried to get her to reach out to them but she seemed not to want to. Anyway it got to the stage where this lady would drop in without calling, talk to my mum for hours and even ask her for fare to go back home.
This went on for quite some time. I remember one Saturday afternoon, I decided to hang out in the house and watch whatever mindless programming was on because I didn't feel like being out in the sun. The phone rang and to pick it, a young girl's voice was on the line and asked me if my mum was home; I said no and told them that she was at a meeting and the best thing would be to call her in the evening. That was that so I thought. I started dozing due to the muggy weather when I heard knocking at the gate. So I got up drunk on sleep and stumbled outside and who was at the gate? Yes, it was my mum's "friend" and her daughter. They asked if my mum was in and in my drowsy state I told her that they had called and I had expressly told them that my mum would not be around till evening and it would be best if they came back then.
At that point the lady asked me if she could come in and wait. Picture this, it was 1 pm and my mum would often come back around 9 pm after her meetings and seeing friends on Saturdays. I didn't picture myself seated with them for all those hours just looking at each other, so I thought fast.
There was a friend who lived a few houses away whom I would go see over the weekend so we could talk computers, soccer and other guy things. So I told them that unfortunately that couldn't happen because I was leaving the house and they told me that they would go see someone in the neighbourhood and pass by later. So even though it wasn't in my schedule I had to go see my pal and hang out. We had such a great time that I ended up going back home around 9.30 pm.
To get home I found my mum and she seemed to be pissed off. When she came home she found that lady waiting for her on the outer lawn, in my mum's words,
"she was wating for me like I owed her a debt!"
My mum went on to re-iterate how tired she was of that lady, how she never follows my mum's advice and how she is tired of being relied upon instead of her reaching out to her family. I think that evening my mum must have sent the subtle message that she was tiring of her because I didn't see the lady for quite some time.
Anyway what I wanted to ask is that even though that story must make my family look mean, aren't there situations you have been in when you have helped someone out but they keep on coming back for more until your good will is drained and you become like everyone else and turn them away.
That reminds me of another story. I was once using one of the many phone booths at City Hall with a friend when this half blind dude came and asked me if he could make a phone call. You see I was at one of the phone card booths which I preffered due to the fact they were more reliable than the coin operated ones. Anyway I had just finished the minutes on the card (
yes, I'm not lying!) and was about to leave when he approached him, so I ushered him to an Indian dude in the next booth. He tapped the Indian dude's shoulder and asked him if he could make a phone call.
The Indian dude nodded his shoulder and proceeded to usher the man to the coin operated booths and gestured those are the ones he should be using and walked away. Talk about being harsh!
Reminds me another story of some time when I was in Sarit Centre (one of my fave hangouts esp after they did the extensions) and this dude in a thread bare suit comes and asks me for money, saying he needs to buy a stamp.
Anyone who has ever lived in Nai knows that you will hear 1001 sob stories per day and it is hard to know which one is true or false. What I decided to do was to tell him to follow me down to the Post Office downstairs where I bought him a stamp so he could post his letter. I would rather I was conned out of a stamp which he would have to use to post a letter rather then money which could be used for something else.
I think it is rather hard for someone to remain charitable when it comes to people you meet in your day to day lives because unfortunately too many people in nai have taken advantage of people's kinds hearts and come up with sob stories to make a living. Time and again such people are exposed on the streets but what it does is harden people's hearts to those who are genuinely in need. It also doesn't help that with all the briefcase ngo's around, when you give to one of them you don't know if the money is going to get there or not. It's like playing roulette at a casino.
But what to do? We must keep on helping when and where we can.................
Ps: Please share the good sob stories you've heard ie those dudes whose busfare is stolen on a daily basis!
pps: In case I forgot, Thank you for resuming services real fast KBW technicians!I am back on the aggregator after a short absence!
