Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Month of Greatness!

April 1st!It's April Fool's day!I was already pranked today by someone who knows themself!Laugh now but your time is coming!Anyway Why is April the best month ever?This is the month The Acolyte was born!And that in itself is enough to make April the best month ever!So in commemoration of that we are going to have April
Anyway The International Dinner is today and I decided to make something.Yes The Acolyte can do more in the kitchen then set kitchen fires and wash dishes!I made one of my number one childhood treats......simsim!I dont know the other name for it that I used to see on the labels at supermarkets but that's what we used to call it!
Also we will commemorate other great people born in Acolyte month such as Otto Von Bismark.Born April 1st, he was the founder and first chancellor of the German Empire.He also broke France's supremacy over continental Europe in the Franco-Prussian war of 1870.
Personally, Bismarck was a celebrated entertainer who greatly appreciated funny stories and wordplay. He was fluent in several foreign languages, and a diplomat of excellent manners and politeness. His friends were chosen independent of origin, creed, or political beliefs, with the exclusion of socialists and social democrats, whom he despised. Bismarck loved good food and drink and had a tendency to indulge in both excessively. His most important tool in politics was his talent to successfully plan complex international developments.
Great quotes from him:

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night"

“There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children and the United States of America.”

“When you say you agree to a thing in principle you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.”

“If there is ever another war in Europe, it will come out of some damned silly thing in the Balkans”

“The main thing is to make history, not to write it.”

“A Bavarian is half-way between an Austrian and a human being”

“I have seen three emperors in their nakedness, and the sight was not inspiring.”

“Universal suffrage is the government of a house by its nursery”

Damn people born in Acolyte month rock!!!

Friday, March 31, 2006

The Best Month Ever!

April is the best month ever for one reason for me!Therefore a special them month is coming on this blog!Between looking for a new apartment, assignements and a busy weekend I didnt complete today's post!Have a good weekend all and wait for Post I tommorrow!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

One good turn...

My dear readers, I am sure you all know that I am a cynic by nature.I have seen the selfish nature of man first hand and when it manifests itself I am not surprised at all.But today someone surprised me.We have this Grill in our school that have some wonderful burgers and hot dogs but unfortunately they are a bit pricey so I dont eat there often.But as it happens once in a while my stomach last night tired of my own cooking and the pizza that I enjoy by making cameos at different student organisation meetings.So I had to bit the bullet at lunchtime and seeing payday is a few days off the wallet isnt doing so well!Anyway I walk into the grill and the staff there are this very congenial black man and lady; very nice people.So I ask her how much the 1/4 pounder combo would be and she tells me something like $5.60 plus tax.I looked at my wallet and told her that I am broke and waiting for pay day.I then told her that I would go with the burger solo.She's tells me she knows how that feels and after taking my cash, hands me a cup to get a drink and I'm like that's great!Free soda.So I wait for my order and when it's ready I notice my bag seems kinda heavy.The wonderful lady had thrown in fries too!Sniff sniff sniff, it seems that not everyone is a selfish bastard!God bless that lady's soul.But now since someone has done my a good deed, it is now burning inside me like the wrath that is within the heart of the martial arts' student whose master has been killed by the Master of their rival school.I must have my revenge!Sorry got carried away!I must pass on the good deed.Guess I have to keep my eyes open for someone who needs a good deed.....

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Down Low

"Mr Down Low" J.L King who first came out about living on the d.l

It is about time I moved away from the fracas of my second last post and talk about something that goes on here in the States and also back home. Men living in the downlow. These are men (usually African American in the States) who say they are not gay but have sex with other men.More often then not the sex is unprotected and this leads them to infecting their wives with HIV/AIDS.
I remember shamelessly laughing at the whole Terry McMillan story. I am sure you are all aware of How Stella Got Her Groove Back, her novel which was based on how she met her now ex husband who was much younger then how they courted and married.This account made her an idol for older women who had always wanted to seek love with younger men but were discouraged by society.I have always been of the opinion that younger men only date much older women when they women have something to give ie money. So when the story came out about how her husband Jonathan Plummer was gay I was not surprised at all (I mean just look at his pic!).It also emerged that he was using her for a citizenship and tried to get alimony from her.What also hurt her alot was the fact that he was sleeping with other men during their marriage!In interviews he claims that he became aware of his feelings for me during the last 2 years of their marriage (after filing for a green card of course!), but I doubt that gay feelings just come out of the blue like that; please prove me wrong!Anyway as I watched her on BET last night I could tell that she was really really angry and felt betrayed!I could only feel sorry for her.
What gets to me most is the sneaking around and the unprotected sex that these men are having.I feel that it is unfair for them to punish their women for being faithful.These men know what they are doing is wrong but they go ahead and do it!
I think they can make all the excuses that they want but at the end of the day all these Down Low Hoes are just inconsiderate bastards!If you know you have feelings for men then don't get married at all!Live free and cruise the clubs and sex clubs at your own free will.And what is this crap ati Men who have sex with Men, dude you are a damn homosexual.Or maybe I am not hetero I am just a man who sleeps with women.Excuses, excuses, excuses, everyone in this country has one for why they do the stupid things that they do and it makes me sick!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

One of the best shows ever!

These are pics from my all time favourite show The Shield!Okay second fave after Smallville, Vic Mackie may rock bute Clark and Lex still rule!The season finale was on tv some time back and it was to die for!It ended on such an unexpected twist that even I was shocked!Lucky for me another cable channel is showing the show from season 1!Here is a brief synopsis of the show with some quotes.
The Shield breaks the conventional formula of the cop genre. It plays out in a tough, morally ambiguous world in which the line between good and bad is crossed ever day. The series focuses on the tension between a group of corrupt but effective cops and a captain torn between bringing them down and advancing his own political ambitions. The Shield stars Michael Chiklis (The Commish) as rogue cop "Det. Vic Mackey," leader of the elite Strike Team unit, who is effective at eliminating crime but who operates under his own set of rules. Benito Martinez (Outbreak & Her Costly Affair) plays "Captain David Aceveda," the young precinct head who doesn't like Mackey's tactics and wants to bust him off the force. And the Emmy-nominated CCH Pounder (ER & Boycott), plays "Det. Claudette Wyms," a veteran detective who understands Mackey and knows how to play both sides of the fence.
Vic is a man after my own heart!I love the way he kicks ass and takes names!A true man's man if you ask me!He always has his teams' back no matter what and he isn't afraid to get his hands dirty!
Here are some quotes from this work of art!

Kavanaugh: An Internal Affairs Detective who has made it his life's goal to nail Vic for all the "evil" he has done.
Kavanaugh: Vic Mackey kills cops! He--he deals drugs! He beats suspects! You know what he did yesterday? He--he screwed my ex-wife with the sole purpose… of making this investigation seem like a personal vendetta. He may have assassinated a gang leader. And that’s just all in one day. I wonder what he’s gonna do today? I wonder what he’s gonna do tomorrow?

Vic: Let me remind you of a few things you seem to have forgotten. I didn’t kill Terry. You’ve lost your leverage with Lem. And you’re ex-wife’s p---y… tastes like sweet butter.

When he steps into the interrogation room to question a perv who is holding an 8 year old girl and won't give her up.
Vic Mackey: Good cop and bad cop have left for the day. I'm a different kind of cop.
Needless to say the suspect had the truth beat out of him with a directory.

Vic Mackey: Ay, Mo. Your sister's ass really tastes as sweet as Alvarez here says it does? He wants to know what your momma's putting in the corn muffin

Vic Mackey: Hi. I'm detective Vic Mackey.
Cop: These your men?
Vic Mackey: It depends. What did they do?

Claudette is Detective Holland's partner.Holland does not have a high opinion of Vic, I wonder why?
Claudette Wyms: Right now Vic Mackey may look like a mighty big catch to you. Do the smart thing, son. Cut bait.
David Aceveda: It doesn't bother you, the things he does?
Claudette Wyms: I don't judge other cops.
David Aceveda: Mackey's not a cop. He's Al Capone with a badge.
Claudette Wyms: Al Capone made money by giving the people what they wanted. What people want these days is to make it to their cars without getting mugged. Come home from work and see their stereo is still there. Hear about some murder in the barrio, find out the next day the police caught the guy. If having all those things means some cop roughed up some spic or some nigger in the ghetto... well, as far as most people are concerned it's don't ask, don't tell.

Holland Wagenbach: [about Vic Mackey] Why does everyone like that asshole so much?

Claudette Wyms: The evidence is lacking.
Vic Mackey: So is Dutchboy's dick but I'm not helping with that.

Vic Mackey: Pack up your shit and get on the first donkey back to home.

Shane Vendrell: The truth is like grits, you can't serve it up plain, you got to put a little salt on it.

Vic's answer to Acaveda on why he would file a report in his own time and not during the time the captain wanted.The captain says that Vic is under his command to which Vic says...
Vic Mackey: Maybe in your own mind amigo. But around here, i don't answer to you, not now, not even on Cinco De Mayo!

Vic Mackey: Put your clothes on, get out of here, and change your taste in men.

[Trish wants Shane to go undercover as a gay hooker]
Shane Vendrell: [indicating Ronnie and Lem] Why can't one of them do it?
Trish: They don't look gay enough.

Shane Vendrell: So, if I'm a cocksucker . . .
Ronnie Gardocki: What do you mean "if"?

Vic Mackey: [to Julien about a suspect] He sees the uniform and runs? He did it.
Julien Lowe: [to the back-up cops] Vic's out back trying to get him to put the gun down.
Cop: Hope he doesn't try too hard.

[Shane goes undercover as a gay hooker and comments on a passing truck's wheels]
Trish: Looks like our new guy knows a thing or two about rim jobs.
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky: [listening in the car] Ha ha... rim jobs.

Claudette Wyms: How'd the Strike Team do?
Trish: They did great.
[indicates Shane]
Trish: That one's a naturally born undercover cum guzzler.
Shane Vendrell: [playfully] Hey, I heard that, bitch.

Vic Mackey: You still got that boyfriend?
Lauren Riley: You still got that wife?
Vic Mackey: No. You still got that boyfriend?

[Vic doesn't do anything and the suspect starts screaming]
Suspect: Help! Help! HELP!
David Aceveda: [walks in] What's going on in here?
Vic Mackey: [confused] Nothing.
[Aceveda glares at him]
Vic Mackey: Really.

Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky: [about breaking into the safe] I don't like this.
Vic Mackey: Well pretend.

Vic Mackey: Since when did you get an ulcer?
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky: Since the Armenian mob started looking for me.(this one is for you shiroh!)

Vic Mackey: [to the Strike Team] Hey, option one is: we take him alive. But feel free to consider option two.

Holland Wagenbach: When was the last time you saw your dick without using a mirror?

Vic Mackey: You better figure out how much you hate me. And how you're going to deal with that. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere.
Claudette Wyms: Neither am I.

[Vic is trying to scare a suspect in a third floor apartment]
Vic Mackey: Write what I tell you.
[Vic puts a notepad and a pen in the suspect's hands]
Vic Mackey: L. I. F. E. New word, new word! S. U. X.
[rips off the page and puts it into the lapel pocket of the suspect's shirt, then leads him towards an open window]
Vic Mackey: Looks like you're going to die a bad speller.

[when confronting Shane about how the Strike Team could lose their jobs because Shane had lost the drugs they stole when he called in to his girlfriend's house to get laid]
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky: We're gonna all crash and burn because of you! I mean, Christ, dude, Amy's not even that hot!

Taylor: Are you gonna hold this third strike over me for the rest of my life?
Vic Mackey: I could lie to you. But I have far too much respect for you as a person. Yes I am!

Vic Mackey: [about Shane's baby, Jackson] Cute kid.
Shane Vendrell: Thanks. He's got his mother's looks.
Vic Mackey: Thank God!

Captain Monica Rawling: Let me guess - you're either with Vic Mackey or you're against him.
Vic Mackey: Keeps things simple.

David Aceveda: You're going to free a murderer so his mob boss can kill him?
Shane Vendrell: It sounded a lot better the way Vic explained it...

Holland Wagenbach: I am mature and distinguished - a lot of young women appreciate that.
Claudette Wyms: You really ought to cut back on the porn.

And the quotes don't end there!Those are just the ones I could get hold of and remember!My birthday isn't far away so season 1,2,3 or 4 DVDs would be appreciated (hint hint!).
On a more serious note a fellow blogger Mocha just lost a good good friend and it would be nice if the same people who gave me support during my loss do the same for her.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Tag I'm it!

Shiroh tagged me!By the way gal, the post below strictly business nothing personal.Anyway onto business.
1. Black and White or Colour; how do you prefer your movies?
Most def colour, black and white sucks!
2. What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?
Statistics but some public admin courses come close too!
3. MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favourite medium for pre-recorded music
depends on availability

Most def MP3s I have a 20GB MP# player and I have almost everysong I have ever wanted to listen to on it!
4. You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going … Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?
Hmmmmm seeing as at this point in time I am already dettached from my family and friends I think I would!Plus I could now kick start my plans for world domination!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Seriously, what do you consider the world’s most pressing issue now?
Third World Poverty but big white weddings comes second, I cant stand them!
6. How would you rectify the world’s most pressing issue?
I'm no economist but loosening the destructive power of the IMF and World Bank on Third world countries would be a start.Those economies need to develop at their own rate and benefit the locals and not financial institutions and multinationals.
7. You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?
I honestly have no idea, maybe take up major opportunities I have missed?
8. You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?
Reverse history so the slaves would be white people!
9. A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole’ Opry –Which do you choose?
I would like to see the opera about the Valkyries
10. What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you’d like to solve?
Are U.F.O.s real?Ok that's no crime, I would say some of the assasinations we have had in Kenya or maybe even Goldberg!
11. One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?
Stephen King. I love the way that man's mind works!We would have Chinese food!If not him maybe Bruce Lee.
12. You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky — what’s the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?
Start my own religion!Then stop some people from breathing, crack some knees and break some necks!Oh and have an orgy!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now I tag kenyangal,joe, mutumia and mocha!
Depart from my blog I must brood now!

Time to take out the trash!

There is a post by a certain blogger that brought to the fore something that has been on my mind for some time now.
Firstly there is this disgusting fascination that chics back in Kenya have with white men.Oh they are so romantic, oh they know how to treat women, oh you Kenyan men should learn from them, blah blah blah horse piss!First of all that jungu who you meet in Kenya has saved up for that safari for the last few years so when you see him flashing those notes in Nai you will be surprised to learn that you have a better standard of living here then he does.I dare you to go to Armenia and we'll see how long you last!In fact I will even buy the ticket for you, I mean where else can you find Aremenian men in plenty?Plus too many Kenyan chics back home are so quick to give it up for whitey that I am sorry to say that not too many jungus I knew back home had a high level of respect for them.
Also this romance thing that chics have cultivated from watching too many soap operas and reading too much Cosmo is fleeting.Not to say some romance is a bad thing but jungus are like gas cookers when it comes to relationships.They heat up fast and the cool down just as fast.So from sending you flowers almost daily this dude may one day surprise you and tell you "I am not feeling the love anymore, it's over."We african men on the other hand are slow but sure in our emotions most of the time, we take time to develop and express them but when we do it's for real.Oh also statistics have shown that white men are the least likely to marry outside their race, so by all means indulge yourselves!
Then there are these mamas who believe the way to their heart is through your wallet.It doesnt matter that this chic may earn just as much money as you if not more.At the end of the day according to her she has no responsibility spending a penny on you.I once dated one chic who would not even leave a tip for the waiter after I had paid the bill and another who would not buy popcorn out of courtesy at the movies despite the fact that I had picked her up from home and paid for the movies.Needless to say I consigned them to the trash heap.You know why some women can't attract a man to them to save their lives?It's because they are a frigging burden!You have to put up with their issues/attitude and also pay to have it done.Life is hard enough as it is when you have to pay your own bills plus a woman's.What I believe is that if you can't pay your own bills like rent then I have no role doing it for you because come hell or high water these same women will not life a finger to help you!
These are the same women who equate being a gentleman to spending money on them and running around bending backwards for them.While on the other hand they will not play their role as ladies. You cant have your cake and eat it to!If you say you are independant then be independant even when it comes to courtship and dating, that passive agressive crap doesnt cut it at all!My good friend Instigator put it best:You are making the same mistake that many chics make!You are pricing yourself out of the market!In poker, this is known has having "overplayed one's hand." Having read too many magazines and watched too many movies,many women have proceeded confident in the fact that no matter how avaricious they got, men would still want them and pursue them and keep on trying to live up to their ever-escalating demands.Women have simply priced themselves out of the market, and instead of waking up to this fact have simply escalated the intensity of the delusions - thus hastening the process.That is why the number of marriages has been reducing as opposed to increasing due to the increased financial demands of women in Kenya; you make good money and you expect that the guy you date should make just as much as if not more and burn most of it on you.Guys who have never become addicted to shag find it much easier to adjust to a life without it than those who at one point in their lives believed that half or more of everything they could ever earn was a fair trade for a short term(dating) or lifetime supply (marriage) of shag - even if it was scarce, at least they got some once in a while.Besides with the laxity of morals it is much easier to get laid nowadays then before.Men are not specialized beast of burden born and bred for the specific purpose of dragging around a financially dependent women and girlfriends all in the aim of giving them the "good life."
Dont forget that in your pursuit of the good life that the men who can provide it are few in number and they too have demands.They often prefer young attractive women who will bend to most of their desires and needs.
So do you want to be a rich Armenian's toy (whom he will toss for the next yellow yellow chic who comes) or the wife of a Kenyan who is working his way up the ladder and will respect and cherish you for it?There is nothing wrong with wanting the good life but when that is all you see a man is good for....
ps:I am going to slap the next person who says things like "when I ask a guy out I pay the tab."These are usually the ppl who take guys out during solar eclipses.

Add to this that these are the same chics who decide to date older men who can fill the black hole that is their greed.What few of them dont realise is that few of these men are going to leave their wives for them, so they waste their productive years being strung around.So while your agemates are living the hard knock life supporting their "broke ass" men who are working their way up with their young families, you enjoy the good life.But guess what?You are going to get to middle age and realise that you have no kids,family or husband because you wasted all that time waiting on a married man.Plus the guys you originally rejected because they were too broke will have no time for you, because we don't eat left overs!
"Women are goddesses you hear me..." No not all women are goddesses just like not all men are masters of the universe.A true lady is like a diamond hard to find and recognise but women are like coal, all over the place ready for you to stub your tow on.Women are all everywhere but ladies and good wife material are few.Even the Bibe says in the Amplified version of proverbs 18:22 He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
I do realise that I am ranting but some things have to be said.I do not believe that a man is under the obligation to pay for a woman's time.Their are women who sell their time and they are called escorts.If you can't spend time with a guy without him having to spend money on you then don't be surprised when he tries to get into your panties; after all it's a favour for a favour.
I am by no means telling chics to put up with deadbeats and broke asses.But when chics are more concerned with what a man drives then what drives him, no good can come of that at all.In effect reffering to the poker analogy, the more demands a chic places on prospective suitors, is like setting up and obstacle course.And on this course putting all the obstacles one can think of ie water pit,hurdles, walls, tyres, nets,blind fold section etc.Do you know what happens?After a while no one wants to run that obstacle course when they know there are easier obstacle courses with better prizes available.So your obstacle course ends up gathering dust.So the next time you turn away that kawa dude because he cant pay for a night for you and friends at Club Sound or whichever club is in vogue don't be surprised when he turns you down when he gets his!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

No I'm serious!

I am having a mini hangover.(Yes I know I told you that I would stop this week but it was a bash and the beer was free.Am I forgiven?)Anyway entreaties for mercy aside, some international students had a bash and I went for it.It wasnt all that but it also wasnt that bad.Some new gals from the UK are here for a short exchange and one of them has been to Coast,Naivasha and the Mara so it was fun to chat with someone who has seen the wonderful sights from back home.Anyway there's this dude from Rwanda who also never misses these bashes so he was there and had taken a liking to one of the UK gals and was dancing with her whenever the opportunity presented itself.So at some point in the night the chic slipped away from him and came to chat with me and her gals.At this point in time I was feeling a bit cheeky so I asked her, "Why are you running away from your new friend?" and she goes, "That dry humping is getting a bit too much for me" to which I said; "I thought that you enjoyed having crotch up your ass?" And then we all burst out laughing.Yes that's me I always say something to remember!
I have this chic whom I share my Thursday class with who is a good pal and we dont talk that much but on that day I was feeling a bit flirtatious. So what happened is that I decided to lay on the compliments and little somethings and of course she told me that I was laying it on really thick so for my troubles she took me out for dinner that day ( Yes Shiroh and co ladies take me out too you know! ) and so when we were chatting at the table I told her about the chastity thing and I am saving myself. The chic almost choked on her food laughing. Which brought some interesting things to mind. (By the way nothing comes for free because now the chic wants my help on the next class assignment.) I told another chic that I was chaste and she was like "until you meet the right girl!"Only three chics whom I have told this have taken me at face value everyone else is skeptical (Not that I go around flaunting my resolution but when the issue of sex comes up I like to share so as to get opinions).
When we were talking about sex with the other Kenyan dude here I told him that I have put myself aside and the boy laughed at what I said long and hard.This is what he said (kinda crude so I am going to leave it in swahili/sheng) Ai?Aco ati umejiweka kando?Hakuna kitu kama hiyo! Wewe ni msee unaweza sherekea senye ya dame mpaka itoe moshi! Huna huruma wewe huwezi bakisha msee wa next kitu! Unakaa mhuni wa madame wewe!
So I get to thinking, I know I dont look like a freak ( babe since you have my pic please answer that for me ), nor do I look sleazy (I'm the kind of guy you can take home to ma and pa with no problems at all) so why don't people believe me at all?!Aco can save himself for the right time (okay and the right girl). You believe me don't you?