Friday, August 25, 2006

Derailer discussion, logical fallacies, religion and discrimination and eat my shorts!

Some jerkwads out there seemed to be apoplectic about the fact that I was planning to leave the Derailer in the lurch come December.So I took her out to dinner yesterday and we talked about us, she already knew that we most likely wont be together after and said we might as well just enjoy kicking it till then with no major expectations.So now all is right on both sides.To those of you who were cursing me, weeping and gnashing your teeth SHUT THE HELL UP!

As regards my last post.A muppet displayed a textbook example of logical fallacy /slippery slope reasoning in their inane prate. 1+1 doesn't equal 5!But that's the last I am saying about that.

Do you know that more blood has been shed in the name of God than any other goal.Do you know for centuries the church tortured and killed those who believed anything other than what they did?The Church for a long time has held back women under it's patriachal structure and it is often believed that when the bible was written that women's contribution was belittled and that was part of what the DaVinci Code was trying to point out (in addition to making Christ have a family which I dont agree with but that's another issue altogether). Many of these so called Conservatives in America who promote policies that do little good to people of color and those who live alternative lifestyles different from their family values structure are fundamental Christians? I have seen born again people back home sneer at those who are not born again or look different ie I heard a woman exclaim "a mungiki cannot preach to me!" when a young man with dreads went on stage to share his testimony. Question is how can people who claim to serve a loving God be so filled with anger and pride?

It seems my sentiments in my last post got some people's panties in a twist.Guess what?I dont care, it's my mind and I'll believe what I want.It seems in many ways I am not alone.This dude cracks me up!Have a nice weekend all!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Aco Strip Show!

Ya'll didn't expect for me to leave my deepest secrets out for all to see did you?You snooze you lose!
In the meanwhile enjoy this humor......

Call center calls

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product give you a clue?"

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France )
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble?"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing?"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not?"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Operator: "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

Guess who's back!

Those langas at blogger finally let me back in my blog!Damn I missed this place!I am not moving to Blogger Beta till they iron out the bugs!I am going to be one of those old dudes who refuse to move to the new government funded housing preffering to stay in the old houses that are not as good as the new ones because it is better the devil you know than the angel you don't!
Aco proceeds to roll on blog carpet, close curtains and run around blog house butt nekkid than falls asleep on bed with a blissful smile on his face.....

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Trying to live healthy, sharon becomes shane and the drama that follows,funny things for this soccer season and blogger won't let my title be longer..

Over the weekend I decided to drink some left over Orange flavoured vodka I had in my fridge with one of the new Kenyan students. It is that point that I realised one thing.I haven't drunk in months!The last time I had a beer was sometime in May when I went to see my sis and went for a Kenyan bash.I guess for some reason I don't drink alone and I tend to be picky about who I drink with.I guess I am turning into a teetolater by default.I also dont have any red meat in my fridge and I only eat red meat when I go to McDonald's (once or twice a month) or the mexican restaurant (once or twice a month too).I am just waiting for fall to get cooler and I am going to start running every alternate morning.Here's to good living!

I was reading this story in the NYtimes about lesbian women who go for sex change ops to become men and the drama that follows.The ironic thing is the discrimination they force from their former friends and fellow lesbians after their operations, much unlike the support transgendered men enjoy from the gay community.
It has been a subtext of gay politics in San Francisco, the only city in the country that covers employees’ sex-change medical expenses. And it bubbles to the surface every summer at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, a lesbian gathering to which only “women born as women and living as women” are invited — a ban on transgendered people of either sex.
Where as for men who change gender to become women it is seen as a fulfilment of a dream for women who do the same it is seen as betrayal of the cause and going to the other side.In some way this highlights the animosity lesbians feel towards men.It's so amusing to see a group of people that complain about discrimination practicing it themselves!Oh well I'm no gender activist so I'll just sit back and watch society morph yet again.

Here are some funny points that I culled from a list about funny things that should happen during this soccer season but won't.I picked the ones that most people even fair weather Chelsea fans can understand.

1.A whole month to pass without Sam Allardyce moaning.
2.A post-match interview on Sky Sports to feature an Arsenal player other than Thierry Henry.
3.An ousted manger, sacked for general and palpable incompetence , to forsake his compensation package on the grounds that it would be morally abhorrent to accept money he does not deserve.
4.In a dramatic new documentary series, Sky Sports to reveal that football existed before 1992.
5.David Beckham to donate £500 to charity on each occasion he is heard to utter "you know" in a television interview.
6.Theo Walcott to go three years better than Wayne Rooney and mark his 18th birthday by releasing his autobiography.
7.A fourth official to be caught taking forty winks during Charlton v Wigan.
8.Jeff Winter to stop being feted on TV channels desperate to fill their 24-hour news feed, and instead be ignored on the basis that he was a despised, error-strewn ref corrupted by his own ego.
9.All players to be automatically booked if they wave an imaginary card at the referee on the grounds that they asked for it.
10.Spurs to officially confirm that they gave up their status as a big club thirty years ago.
11.Neil Warnock to commemorate a defeat with the sincere observation that, "The best team won - and can I just take this opportunity to congratulate the referee on an impeccable performance?"
12.Roman Abramovich to prove that he is not a mute.
13. Sir Alex Ferguson to attend a post-match press conference following a ManYoo defeat.

As I was on the net today I ran across this article about violent children's games.I am sure you all think they are going to be talking about video games.Uh uh the games on this list are games some of you played!I know I did!

Ladies have you ever thought of working in Adult Entertainment?Take this quiz and find out now!

For my fellow gentlemen, here are 25 valuable lessons!I said for gentlemen!Ladies leave that link alone!I don't go into your lifetime movies and Oprah chat rooms do I?God damnit!

This here is for all you movie fans out there, a list of things that happen only in the movie world and no where else!So don't try that stuff out here!

And to round things off a where are they now article about the great monsters of the past!Time for me to go to the second Meru District (I'll let you in on that later!)

Monday, August 21, 2006

The Nightmare's reign continues, fat people, my lack of TV fervour and more Kenyan music for me!

I know few of you watch UFC but I am going to blog about it anyway.I watched UFC Fight Night live on Thursday last week and watched Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez vs Karo Parisyan. Sanchez was one of the winner in the Ultimate Fighter series and has gone on to prove that he has the mettle to survive in the UFC racking up 17 victories with no losses. Karo on the other hand is a more seasoned fighter who came in with a record of 23 -3. Let's just say this is has been ranked one of the best fights of the year.It had everything from stand up fisticuffs, ground action, submission attempts, at one point Diego Sanchez landed on his head after a judo throw and Karo even got one of his teeth knocked out in the last round!The reign of the Nightmare continued with a unanimous decision. I can't wait till he takes on the welterweight champion Matt Hughes!But my words are inadequate when it comes to describing the fight so here it is in three parts.Mixed Martial Arts at it's best!But if contact sport isn't your thing best give it a pass.

Round 1

Round 2

Round 3

One thing I am not happy about the new semester is the proliferation of human blimps all over the University. Some of these continuing students look like they would burst if you poked them with a pin, others have roll upon roll of fat on their bodies that make breathing seem like an olympic activity, with some of the women you can't tell where their chests stop and their stomachs begin, I think without a mirror some of the dudes have never seen their dicks.
How in the world do you look at yourself in the mirror, sorry mirrors and be happy with what you see?Some blogger who made it her role in life to argue with every point I made said that those people are unwell, that only counts for 25% or less of those tubs of lard! Then the pussies here try to say it's an illness in itself. Goddamn it!Just go ahead and enable them why won't you. I think it's just plain retarded to go ahead doing the same thing that is making you miserable, "Oh people don't like me coz I'm fat, so guess what?I'll go eat 3 tubs of ice cream and 4 bags of candy and maybe I'll feel better!"
Idiot!And you know what?People don't get obese overnight!you can head that bus off at the pass!This summer I gained 10 pounds and within 2 weeks I dropped 5.Get with the program people, get with the damn program!

I have realiised that there are few programs that I watch on a regular basis on cable, what made me think of this is how some bloggers are drooling at the new season of Prison Break. It seems to be a nice show but has never caught my fancy.The only shows I am waiting to resume are The Shield and Smallville.Other shows I watch if I find them on air but when the semster starts usually TV takes a back seat.I also dont go to the movies much, I prefer to watch movies when they come out on DVD at my own pace.But I cant say no to a good novel once in a while though.So all you idiot box fans enjoy your shows!Oh speaking about Prison Break rumour is that Wentworth Miller (the star) is gay but still in the closet; but it's not been confirmed so don't go blabbing it at the water cooler!

I got an MP3 with loads of Kenyan music that was released after I left Kenya and some classic hits I never got hold of.I now have 70 something extra Kenyan tracks to listen to!I know some of you want me to share but that is going to be very hard as they are all on my MP3 player and I need a pc to download the music onto, and seeing that I dont have admin rights on my mkebe at work it ain't happening anytime soon.I also got a cd of Kenyan videos, most of which are on google video and youtube, but I have to say the ones that I hadn't seen before like Jimw@t's video for Under 18 and Jua Cali's video for Bidii Yangu made my day!This is one of my faves from back in the day when Nonini was still with Calif records.
I changed my work schedule so that I can work the whole day on Mondays in exchange for free Fridays, so it's going to be a long day!