Friday, February 16, 2007

Post Valentine's Musings

I decided to surf the net and look for blogs that linked to mine. Well I found a site that had linked to a post I had done. The site is called Christian Dating News and this is how they quoted me. They made me sound so hard that even I wouldn't comment on my own blog due to fear of a tongue lashing! I have noticed that over time I have really toned down my blogging tone, which isn't such a bad thing.

Anyway I trust Valentine's went well for all of you who were in the fray. I just had a flashback, there was this time I was giving a ride to some chic I was interested in and her pal. Valentine's was around the corner and I gave my opinion that it really didn't mean much to me and I went on to change the subject. Woe unto me! The pal also decided to wax on about how she felt nothing about Valentine's and how it meant nothing to her, she reiterated this point all the way from the Uhuru Highway to South B. Worst thing is that her tone said something else, it was one of total bitterness; like she was trying to convince herself. I wonder what she was up to on Valentine's?

I came across that jewel online (on a Kenyan website nonetheless!) and all I have to ask, is what is a stripe tease? A mating dance for Zebras or something?

Now a question for the ladies. Let's say you decide to keep yourself pure and chaste till the day you got married, then come the wedding night your husband is packing 3 inches and is a one minute man to boot? I can see the scenario unfolding! Picture one woman burning with pent up desire, dressed in virginal white Victoria's Secret, splaying herself ready for action in the candle lit room. In walks the groom from the bathroom, the dim lighing casting dark shadows on his assets (or lack thereof), forplay commences and the tension rises as the bride awaits consumation of the marriage. The Groom puts himself in position, his breathing rate increases while at the same time the bride feeling no visitor in her garden, asks the dreaded question, "is it in yet?"
The Groom looks puzzled and they try position after position but it seems that his visitor cannot breach the gates or even if he has his presence is incosequential. To save face the Bride settles on a position and 10 press ups later the Groom grunts in satisfaction and turns over to go to sleep without any pillow talk or cuddling. The Bride is left awake contemplating the future with loud snores providing the soundtrack to her deliberation.
Now if you were in such a situation where you were completely unsatisfied, I know most of you would hold off for the first year or so; but if an opportunity came by to get some. Would you step out? C'mom ladies, be honest. My ex admitted she would step out but would be very tactful. To add salt to the situation, despite being a good hubby what if your groom decided to do nothing to solve the problem and insisted that you were the problem and not him?

I think someone needs to tell the chic in the pic below (click for larger view if you need to confirm if you know that weave ) that she should get some new friends to go to 2008 San Diego Sevens with (friends who'll take care of her), and stop drinking! I wonder if she's a KBW member?

Take it easy over the weekend people!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Saint Auxentios Day!

I think what I posted last year at this same time still captures my full emotions about Valentines!

Seeing as I think that Valentine's day is a load of crap I have decided to spend that day in a more holistic way.Also, I don't have the time, money or tolerance for the sham and commerical slaughter of men's wallets and well being that is Valentine's day.This excerpt is from one of my all time number one blogs!:
February 14th is the Eastern Orthodox Church's holiday of Saint Auxentios Of The Mountain (pronounced "Aw-zeen-ti-os").

In case you don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day and give some woman compliments and gifts so as to earn her approval, placate her ego and give her something to show off with as she plays a game of who got the biggest,best, shiniest gift with her girlfriends

You can say you are celebrating Saint Auxentios Day.

Here is some background info on him:

"The Monk Auxentios, by origin a Syrian, served at the court of the emperor Theodosius the Younger (418-450). He was known as a virtuous, learned and wise man, and he was moreover a friend of many of the pious men of his era.

Distressed by worldly vanity, Saint Auxentios accepted the dignity of presbyter, and then received monastic tonsure. Setting off after this to Bithynia, he found a solitary place on Mount Oxus, not far from Chalcedon, and there he began the life of an hermit. (This mountain was afterwards called Auxentian). The place of the saint's efforts was stumbled upon by shepherds, seeking after lost sheep. They spread the news about him, and people began to come to him for healing. With the Name of God, Saint Auxentios healed many of the sick and the infirm.

In the year 451 Saint Auxentios was invited to the Fourth Ecumenical Council at Chalcedon, where he became known as a denouncer of the Eutykhian and Nestorian heresies. He was greatly familiar with Holy Scripture, and Saint Auxentios easily bested those opponents who entered into dispute with him. After the finish of the Council, Saint Auxentios returned again to his solitary cell on the mountain. By means of spiritual sight he saw the end of Saint Simeon the Pillar-Dweller (459), from over a great distance.

The Monk Auxentios himself died in about the year 470, leaving behind him disciples and many monasteries constructed in the Bithynian region."

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Change Of Venue People!

After all the excitement of this week, here is my post at African Path. Now back to drafting Drama post part 6 for next week!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Drama Post Part 5

Mary walked the two blocks to the library in a huff. "How dare that boy disrespect me like that?" she said to herself not caring if anyone heard here. How he could treat her like that despite what they had been through was the thought that ate away at her. She walked into the library building and found the part of the building where the books were being kept was being roped off for the night. She remembered that the lower part of the building where the computer lab was housed was open 24 hrs a day was always open. She walked towards it and sat down on the nearest wooden chair she could find, propping her feet on another chair for support. If she had taken the time to roam further into the room she would have realised that she had just walked by a few comfortable couches that been far more sleep friendly.

As the next day came. Kamau woke up feeling rejuvenated, he took his toiletries and towel and went and took a long hot shower. This was the life, he thought to himself; the days of heating water on the paraffin stove for a shower were now over. After showering and freshening up, he then put on his favorite red corduroys and brown shirt with brown leather boots to match, now that he was a student again he could loosen up when it came to fashion, he thought as he preened himself in the mirror. Oduori at this time had also stepped out of the bathroom wearing his long white night gown and smelling of expensive cologne, he looked at Kamau, shook his head and went into his room.

Meanwhile Kendi had had a night and a half. She had only attended the party to get something from Muriungi. Sadly for her, he had taken an extreme liking to her and wasn't going to help her for nothing. He was her only hope if she was to be able to solve her school issues and time was running out. Her cousin had left her with him as she went to get cozy with the someone she had had her eye on for sometime. The night had moved agonisingly slow as she had to put up with his boring conversation, sexual innuendo and uncontrollable hands. As the night wore on the house party crowd thinned leaving only the hard core drinkers (conscious and unconscious), those engaging in the precursors to carnal activities and the two of them. Kendi found herself being corralled by Muriungi into an empty room. She protested, telling him they should just remain in the living room; but she knew that if she protested too hard she wouldn't get what she wanted from him, so she played along. They entered the empty room with one of Muriungi's hands around her waist and the other holding his Heineken beer. "Just sit on the bed, I won't bite he told her, " but the leering grin on his face said something else.

"Damn this place is far!" Carol exclaimed as she had driven for almost one hour from ATL and was still on the interstate, still several exits away from the exit to the 'ville. But it was all worth it, she thought to herself. It would be good for her to see her boyfriend Oduori, although the term boyfriend may not have applied a few months back; Thank God Oduori didn't have close friends in the city she lived in. But she now vowed that she was done with the Kenyan men who had been in the States too long, she couldn't take the drama and the drinking that was part and parcel of most of them. She took a sneak peek at herself in the rear view mirror and was pleased with how good her new weave looked,
"Beyonce, step back!" she said to herself and laughed. Her stunning face, hypnotic cleavage and traffic stopping rear had made her receive enough unwanted attention during her time in the States, from up tight white boys, brothers in the hood, persistent West African brodas to Kenyans; they all wanted a piece of her. But they all fell short in the end end always reminded her that it took a real man to handle her, and she now realised that man was Oduori. She pondered that thought as she finally found the exit to the 'ville and began to leave urbanisation behind.

Mary opened her eyes, wiped the drool that had dried on the side of her chin and a small scream escaped her lips. She was bewildered over where she was, before she knew what was happening she lost balance and her posterior was on the cold floor. She heard loud laughter and saw an middle aged man in uniform holding a mop, she remembered she had slept in the computer lab's lobby. Her neck screamed in pain from the awkward position she had slept in, she looked for some spare change in her pocket and went and bought herself some chips. That was all she could afford, she knew she would get a better meal when she reported for work at the dining hall. She reached for her back pack and decided to go for her morning class after at least washing her face in the ladies room, showering wasn't an issue because it was close to winter so no-one would know if she showered or not. She wondered where she would sleep tonight when a brain wave came to her, she knew where she would sleep tonight!

That same morning Kendi shifted Muriungi's heavy arm off her and climbed out of the bed. She looked for his jeans at the side of the bed and began ransacking them till she found what she wanted. She found his cell phone and put it in her purse, his address book had the answer to her problems. She had left her cousin in an alcohol induced slumber in the sitting room with her new boyfriend when she managed to escape Muriungi's clutches for a few minutes a few hours ago. Before she stepped out of the room, she looked at herself in the mirror and adjusted the remaining buttons on her blouse. In his drunken randy state, Muriungi had been pawing her goodies and she thought she may have had to give it up to him to get what she wanted, but he blacked out on top of her after struggling to take her top off. The experience had been a tiring one for her but at least she had what she wanted she thought to herself. Kendi walked into the sitting room to wake up her cousin and let her know that it was time to go home. Her plan to deal with the semester would now enter stage two!

Kamau had never experienced such a long day before. He had three lectures to sit through which exasperated him because he could hardly understand the Professors and none of the students seemed willing to share their textbooks with him, since he did not have the money to buy any for himself. What made things worse is that he had been trying to get a job and he needed to get a social security number to be even considered for one, he didn't have one and had no idea where to start. He was greatful that the night had come, he took the shuttle to Oduori's apartment complex and walked to the the apartment. He hadn't talked about it but he was sure that Oduori wouldn't mind him staying for one extra night, that is why when he was left after Oduori he had used a piece of paper to wedge the door open slightly. Kamau opened the door, made himself a sandwhich for dinner. He turned on the tv, watched some of the scintillating music videos on MTV for a while and then turned off the tv, lights and curled up on the couch to recharge for another day.

A few hours earlier in the same apartment, Carol knocked on the door. Oduori opened the door and was overjoyed to see her, he gave her a hug that almost stopped her breathing and smothered her lips with a kiss. She saw that he was even more magnificent than what she had been dreaming about over the last few weeks. He invited her in and they sat on the couch and caught up on each others lives. Carol was smart enough to leave out the parts that involved other men who had tried to take Oduori's place. The talked and when the words ran out they let their bodies do the talking. Carol stopped him before they went all the way, she had missed him but wanted to get something to eat. Oduori wasn't amused but obliged her, they went to the nearby Applebees where they enjoyed a meal of babyback ribs, mashed potatoes and other entrees. Carol looked at Oduori and was sure that he would fit in rather well with life in the States. After their delicious meal, they went to the apartment. Oduori could hardly keep his hands off her as they neared the door. He fiddled with the keys and opened the door without turning on the lights.
They were carried away in the throws of their passion. Oduori tore off Carol's skirt, kissed her, picked her up in his strong arms and dumped her lightly on the couch. What happened next baffled Oduori's mind. Carol screamed and a deep male voice exclaimed "Ka nikii?!"

What does Muriungi's phone have for Kendi? How will Oduori deal with Carol and Kamau? What is Mary upto now? Tune in for part 6 soon.......