Friday, October 21, 2005

Ladies:How to avoid being Next-ed

I know there was a short term cease fire going on but I couldn't resist!
There is this tv show called Next.what happens is that there is this chic or jamaa then a group of jamaas and chic get to hang out with her/him one at a time.For every minute the chic/guy hangs out with them they get a dollar and if the chic/guy really likes them he/she asks them if they want to keep the money they have earned so far or to forfeit it and go for a second date and for the ones that he/she cant stand they are dismissed with a cry of NEXT!Some are next-ed even before they have opened their mouths due to dress,looks or appearance.
Anyway what am I getting to?In the world nowadays good men are hard to come by,so this is a short guide to the ladies on avoiding being NEXT-ed by your man!-Acolyte tosses grenade and dives for cover!-

First, trying to change your guy is like teaching a pig to sing; it wastes your time, and it annoys the pig! Guys typically don't change all that much, and are not all that keen on being ordered around, especially since they get enough of that at work. Coming home to more of the same is not likely to endear you to your guy. Home is supposed to be a haven after a hard day.

Second, nagging and passive-aggressiveness not only won't get you what you want, they annoy and downright infuriate your guy. Just ask for what you want. The worst we can say is "no" or "not right now."
And if we say no, we may have a very good reason for it.

Third, guys don't typically sweat the small stuff. They DO sweat the big stuff. Guys may not care that you don't look exactly like a Playmate of the Month, but they do care if you spend money like a drunken sailor, have a $2000-a-day drug habit, or are always negative and angry at the world. If you don't bring any big problems to the relationship, we won't care if the house isn't always operating room clean or the laundry isn't always spring fresh.And yes kids from another relationship can and are many times a big thing.Sorry but that's how it is!

Fourth, speaking of big stuff, a satisfying sex life is big stuff. Think of sex in the same way you think of comforting a small child who fell down or a sick pet. You'd never blow off your kids or your pets if you had a headache, so why would you do it to your guy, who wants nothing more than to cherish and protect you?Or if you must cut us off you might as well tell us what the reason is before we NEXT you

Fith.Avoid being an economic sinkhole. When we pay for all household expenses, all vacations, insurance, tuition, etc., give you a monthly stipend to spend on anything you want, and never ask you to contribute a nickel of your earnings from your job, we absolutely DESPISE finding out that you have no savings, you've run up $20,000 worth of credit card debt in the last three months buying clothes, and we need to bail you out again. A wise man once said, "Being married to a woman who cannot control her spending is like being married to an arsonist. You never know when you're going to come home and find out she's burnt another place down that you now have to pay for." I know some chic out there is harping "But we plan on giving equally to keeping the house going!"Yes some women do but i have met many many women who operate with the mantra, "my money is my money and his money is our money"

Sixth, weight matters!Maybe it shouldn't, maybe we shouldn't be so shallow, but weight matters. Make-up matters. Grooming matters. We hate to make it tough for you, but if you're in a long-term relationship with a guy and you expect to keep his attention you have to look as good as you did when you began dating or at least make an effort to.If you relax after gettting the wedding or engagement ring, sit in front of the TV all day and inhale ice cream and pizza like they were oxygen and allow that sexy nighty to moulder at the bottom of your underwear drawer, we'll probably stop asking about it. Soon thereafter we'll either start an affair behind your back or "next" you.
And if you give me that story of "You should love your woman no matter how she looks," I say this "If you dont love yourself enough to take care of how you look then why should someone else?"Don't agree? Come closer my open palm has something to tell you.....SLAP!!!!
ps:I was looking at the results of the poll and there is no shame in you people's game!Would you still vote yes if you knew your blog is one of those on the chopping block.Vote carefully people!


I had a hot post all primed up for mutumia but today is her b-day so now flaying and torment during birthdays is my policy.So you'll have to wait for another day people!So I will keep myself enterained in other ways. This is for all you Everton Football Club fans out there:
LIVERPOOL ECHO (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a Liverpool
courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should
have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents
and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child
custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to
the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more
than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge
then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that
they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that
domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took
the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have
custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare
officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Everton Football Club
whom the boy firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone.

-Those Brits kill me!Here are some interesting letters to a humor magazine they have over there.

The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it.
Is it just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government know and haven't told the poor sods?

John Campbell, e-mail

With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab.
Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team?
They found the tw@t quickly enough the last time he played hide and seek with them.

Shuggie, Email

It's all very well Meg Ryan getting her kit off for her new film, but why wasn't she doing it twenty years ago before her puppies hit the pan?

Alan Pick, Kingston-upon-Toast

Hats off to the American police.
They arrive at Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV.
Perhaps they should get some faster cars.

T Barnham, London

IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true.
'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to spend a month with her mother.
Since then I have grown quite fond of my next door neighbour.
I actually gave her one on the living room carpet this morning.

Christopher Hampshire, Bristol

The recent suicide of Harold Shipman has thrown up some interesting questions.
For a start, does Shipman killing himself take his official tally up to 216, or does it count as an own goal?
Where does this final score place our national champ in the world league table?

Magnus, Sheffield

ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania', says Oxfam.
So how come United Utilities charge me twenty pounds a month
for my three bedroom semi?
The fleecing b@stards.

Tracey Cusick, Cumbria

Anyway so much to do not enough time!Sometimes grad school can be a bitch!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

What was lost.....

I got it back!Woo hoo!What am I talking about?There is this mp3 cd that I had made some time when I was in ATL.It is full of ragga and reggae music ie damian marley,t.o.k,capleton,elephant man,sizzla etc.Nick should know how sawa it is as I sent him some tracks.Anyway I would carry the cd from digs to work and back.I would listen to it in the library as I worked too.So one day after not having time to listen to it for sometime I just started to feel that there was something missing.So I turned my room upside down BILA.To go to the lib nothing in lost property.So I had now resigned myself to having to put up with rap,rock and pop on MTV and radio.Then today I go to the lib and go to sit down at one of the usual computers that I use and decide to pop in one of my Kenyan cds to quell my misery and guess what is in the drive?My CD!!!!!But on the other hand it got me thinking.I spend to much time in the library and at the same three tables!
ps:Have to post a rejoinder to some things that mutumia brought up!

P.C my ass! part 2

Well last night there was the internationals club meeting so at this meeting one of the main chics calls me and asks me how i am doing.I give her the usual answer and then she asks me if I was angry at a chic called Emily and that the chic was almost crying when she was talking to her.First of all I am like who the f@#k is Emily?Then the chic reminded me and I learned what happens when you call a spade a spade and not a big spoon!
Let's go to one week earlier.I was at the international club coffee night.A gathering held every 2 weeks where international students can hang out with the locals and each other.So I get to talking with this jungu mama who from the t-shirt she is wearing says she is in BSU ( Baptist Student Union ) ie the savedies on campus.So we get to talking then you know how these discussions go, "Oh you're from Kenya!That's nice!What do you like about here?What do you miss from home?blah blah blah.So then this chic says that she is planning on going to go to Kenya to do ministy work.Then I ask her why did you decide to go to Kenya.She then tells me that she saw a Zambian kids choir perform.So I was like you are travelling several thoudand miles coz you saw some kids sing?Then I was like why doesnt she concentrate on ministering to the gays and lesbians in San Francisco.Mind you I was not frowning when I was saying this .I was very chilled out, smiling with her and even empathising.Usually I would have had sura ya kazi and would have even told her that we have missionaries in Kenya who will not only plant the seed of the gospel,but will water it and help it grow instead of running back to stato and that stato has mingi heathens and needs her more; but I did not say that at all!If I did she might have committed suicide!But that will not change me I will still say it like it is!Anyway ya'll be nice and fill in the poll down there.Some people wanted to know which KBW blogs irritate me and I have decided to keep quiet so that we have no beef.But if the people speak......

New Avatar!

As you can see I have a new avatar!The old one that was full of angst,darkness and power is gone and is no longer an accurate potrayal of me.This is Brian from Family Guy.I really feel the dude.
Not since the likes of Mr. Ed has there been a more loveable talking animal than Brian. Brian is your typical talking dog in that he's man's best friend, but he's also always seen with a martini, and is always stuck on dates with stupid human women.-That's who he is! This is a video clip of him.Anyway let me give you all time to absorb the change!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

P.C my ass!

Anyone who lives in the western world must be aware of pc language aka politically correct language ie where someone disabled is now reffered to as physically challenged etc.Well there is a class that I have where we are only 2 jamaas and I sit at the back and he in the front.SO the class gets really boring and at junctures I always see it fit to pitch in a wise crack or a sarcastic comment.
We were talking about lay offs and the lecturer goes on and says how many of these occurr during mid December, so I said "You can be home for the holidays!"Then he we were discussing how Senators happen with interns and in return the mamas get good jobos , so I lean over and ask the jungu chic next to me when is she booking her flight.We were discussing how messed up the medicaid system is and how long it takes people to get organs and how sometimes it ends up being too late,and I am like "that's what you have homeless people for spare parts!"My favourite even though it may incense the feminists among you was when some gal objected that men can't look after women interests and even in the past denied women the vote, "it was for your own good," was my comeback.
Yes some of the stuff I do say at times is crude and hard but at times I believe in saying it as it is within limits of course, there is no need to go round talking smack.As one of my maths teachers once said, "Call a spade a spade and not a big spoon!"
ps:I have just remembered that today is Wednesday the day that I prostitute my presence at the meetings of various organisations and causes that I don't know or care too much about all in exchange for free food and soft drinks!Gotta use what I have to get what I want!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Sometimes I Wonder

Do any of you remember in high school during litreature classes when there was group discussion and people were asked what you thought and had picked from the book and you would give your base thought ie it was a tragedy and I felt character X represented habit Y, then some dude in the front of the class would then give his view ie I felt that this tale was a satire about the state of societies at diff times and the mood swings of character X reflected the pendulous nature of the situations we find ourselves in blah blah blah blah, or if you were a church goer during those meetings where people where people were asked what God has done in your life and you would say "i am happy that God has kept me healthy," then someone else would check in and they would be like "As for me I have managed to notice God in every little thing in my life.Like in the wind that blows in my hair,the way my cat walks,the rain that falls and gives us food to eat and in every single thing that I do; this would be said with enough passion to make the heathens their consider salvation and make you feel like you have said jack!
Well I feel the same way about this blog at times.There are blogs such as those of poi deep poetry, Irena, prousetteand mutumia with their insight,afromusing with her well informed views on current affairs,msaniixl where I can get info on african hip-hop,akiey's blog with its cultural mix even though those damn videos keep crashing my firefox browser!Last but definitely not least those two merchants of laughs nick and milo.
Sheesh I even forgot what I wanted to say.If I have not mentioned you it is because of lack of space and the fact that there are over 100kbw member and I do not read every blog.Also there are some blogs that are hardly ever updated for reasons I am not aware of and there are some that irritate the hell out of me.
Oh new thought!When you initially begin blogging you do it a certain way.Do you think comments change how you do so, so that you end up blogging more for your readers then yourself.I for one can say that I am still bloggin for me but I do not hesitate to offer more info when asked for it by readers.
Here it is what some of those blogs make me feel like the people in those examples I gave earlier as they seem to have direction and seriousness while I on the other hand am all over the place.Then I think of it this way, there is no right or wrong way of blogging at all!I think it is just as human beings we are always comparing ourselves to other people and looking to come out best.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Lesson to the ladies

The media especially over here is guilty of feeding women that they can only be beautiful and sexy if they are a certain size,color,certain hair length, have certain clothes etc.Well all that is bull crap!Some of the ugliest people I know are very visually stunning but not appealing.True sensuality and attraction is an intagible quality that can't be bought from a shop.That is why there are some average looking gals who always have men around them and some very fly gals who spend every Sato night at home alone.
In my charts Cheryl Underwood is one of the most attractive women I have seen in a long long time.

Would ya look at that smile!

It's now what you have it's how you package it

Anyway for those of you who do not know who she is, she is the host of BET Comic View and also played a role in the movie Beauty Shop.This woman is proud of who and what she is.She is very witty and funny.Last week on comic view this transvestite comes on and she/he/it decides to diss Sheryl saying that she is Wesley Snipes in drag.Then she went on with her bit.Well Sheryl was diplomatic, she came on and told people to give he/she/it a big hand.Then she started on he/she/it "How dare you come her and disrespect me!Not in my house!You are perpetrator you know that!At least I'm a real woman!-bleep- -bleep- -bleep- I oughta throw a match on your cheap polyester outfit so you could burn! -bleep-You oughta sue the doctor who put in your breasts they look like water balloons -bleep-I'm from Arkansas, I will cut you! -bleep- then she looked up at the ceiling, "Lord forgive me I'm a christian but it's so hard."The woman had cussed till the bleeping began to hurt my ears but she's really funny.Men admire a woman who can stand up for herself without being bitchy and then be good natured about it.Also she always performs with a purse to match her outfit, you gotta have style too!Oh damn blogger is acting up, have dumped one of these pics deep deep in the uni server, the things I have to do sometimes tsk tsk!
Anyway that is my 2 cents about true beauty, you can't buy it but you can learn to let it out.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Lest we forget

Lest we Liverpool fans forget.Things may not be looking so good now but lets not forget the Road to Istanbul.It didnt look so good then but here is a reminder!YNWA!