Welcome to the first edition of the Acolyte Awards.These are awards given to people who have excelled at different areas in everyday life,business,entertainment etc.Monthly winner will be put into the end of year pool where they will compete in the Annual Acolyte Awards where the prize will be 1,000,000/= Acolyte dollars!
Unlucky Bastard of the Month
Aloysius Abacha (if that's his real name) was dumped by his "aunt" in a Bangladesh Airport while they were on transit to London.The police have been unable to trace the woman who brought him there.How he came to the country remains a mystery,Bangladesh National Women Lawyers Association (BNWLA) with the aim of keeping him in safe custody.If he was dumped there by a family member then he is one unlucky bastard.But if he took himself there, then he is one grade A moron!Bangladesh?!That is one poor ass country, he would have been better off staying his Nigerian ass at home.
Sucker Of The Month Award
This award goes to a woman who made what seemed to be a good decision only to come out looking like an idiot. When the Artur brothers came into town every woman's tongue in Nairobi hit the floor.The style, the bling,the car, the house in Runda, the big business plans, one million dollars displayed on camera, the parties and spending tens of thousands on their girlfriends on on day.Kenyan men were kicked to the curb and even one KBW blogger (I will not name names) exclaimed, "where are the Armenians?"One word describes Armenians...Euro trash!Ask any
It is later when everything about them turned out to be a lie.They were not related to those in power in the Czech Republic or Armenia, they were wanted elsewhere and those were not their real names!
In an action that epitomised what is wrong with our country, Wangui got cozy with one of the Artur brothers, set up a company with them and most probably used her clout to help them go places.When the Artur brothers decided to show their true colors and the sh*t hit the fan Wangui was left holding the bag.Her name is now being dragged through the mud and all that good old daddy said about the state of affair was,"The first family is composed of the following: First Lady Lucy, sons Jimmy, David …"
So in a statement that I echo to the rest of Kenya is, all that glitters is not gold and white doesn't equate right.
The I Am Not Functioning On All Cylinders Award
This is a character on the reality TV show Who wants to be a Superhero.11 people or rather Super Heros pitched their ideas and were chosen to live together in a lair and do tasks that test their character and determine which one will be worthy to be immortalised in a comic and appear in a movie on the Sco-fi channel.
It's no secret that I love comic books but when I put the comic down it ends there.I have no desire to run around half the city in shiny tights performing good deeds.I think you must have a screw loose to want to be remembered as Monkey Woman or Cell Phone girl.
Only in America
The I Think God Loves Me Award
Some bastard in Poland got high on Polish vodka and decided to throw his St Bernard dog out of the second story window of his apartment.The lucky dog landed on a man on the street who only suffered some shock.That dog needs to do something useful with his life!
The Heart of Gold Award
This goes to Shiro (not forgetting Kibet) for their work with the kids at St Francis Integrated School.When you work your way up the hill of life it is so easy to gorget those whom are behind you.These two and those who have been helping them havent.I am waiting for uni to get back into session so I can rally the Ministries here to help.I suggest we all do the little we can to help.Remember if you sow good things you get good things in return!
The Drama Post Of The Month Award
I have always loved reading Kmusing's blog for the rants and observations.But this one post where KM was candid as ever rubbed some people the wrong way and we had a blog war on our hands.At last count before it was shut down this post had 85 comments.Kmusings keep the posts coming and best of luck in getting a new jobo!
Time to bounce.Any suggestions for new categories are most welcome!
The Problem With Kenya Is It's Full Of Kenyans
3 hours ago