Saturday, October 29, 2005

Dear Diary

Girl’s Diary

Monday 17 October 2005

Saw John in the evening and he was acting really

strangely I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls

and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we

go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and

distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly

laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or

to what I was saying.

I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home. I wondered if he was going to

come in; he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if

there was something the matter but he just half shook his

head and turned the television on.

After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going

upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that

I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort

of smile.

He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was

surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a

bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave

me, and that he had found someone else.

I cried myself to sleep....

Boy’s Diary

Monday 17 November 2004

Liverpool lost to Manchester United

Had sex though.

This story to me just made my day about the difference between how men and women think.I have always found it interesting the way men and women communicate.An issue I will go into later.Gotta run have to get ready for a bbq.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Why should tribe be an issue?

I was just passing by some Kenyan forum and there was this jamaa who was talking about how when he meets some chics and they start chatting and many of them try to find out what tribe he is and when they find out that he is not kuyo they lose interest and some chic even told him that he is very sawa just that he is not kuyo.Also he was also very irritated that after salaams the first thing he is asked is what tribe he is.What was on his mind was does tribe really matter?He said that in Nai he had friends and chics from all different tribes but here tribe seems to be a big issue especially with Kuyos.I have nothing against being proud of your tribe but when it comes to the point of being arrogant,obnoxious and marginalising others that I can't stand.Because at the end of the day I dont think that friendship or love should know any boundaries.Yes it sounds idealistic but it is that kind of kuyo ethnocentricism that eventually led to situations like Rwanda.Don't think I am flaying kuyos as other tribes in Kenya are guilty but it is kuyos who are the number one culprits.Do you know how offensive it is when someone comes to you and starts speaking kuyo and it is obvious by looking that you are not kuyo?!I am like WTF!Kuyos unfortunately have become very despised coz of this and thinking that they are the best tribe under Kenya's sun.
But this isn't a kuyo flaying thread.Not all kuyos are bad but tribalism is.And kuyos are not the only tribalists other tribes out there are just as guilty.At the end of the day I guess that it boils down to the choices that we make, when I was in nai my pals were from all tribes as they were my friends first and their tribes last.I think Kenyans out here should see each other as Kenyans first and their tribes last because when the INS and other problems come for you they don't care whether you are Kiambu's or Kisumu's finest so we should all style up and look past this tribal crap.


10 day old male giant panda cub

I saw this and I had to share.Isn't he cute!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I'm addicted too

Me suffering from blog withdrawal!

I just read Mutumia's post and the interesting thing is that I had the same thing on my mind.Blog Addiction!This is what happens when I get into the office every morning at 8am.I go to the computer and log onto not my Eudora work account but no my Yahoo! address to see what comments have been left on my blog, then I answer them.After which I then do a tour of around 7 blogs or more of the kbw crew to see what is new.All the time commenting while laughing my head off at the funny stuff.As a result work for me starts at 9am or later.While work is continuing whenever it slows down I open the comments windows of some of the blogs I like and take part in the fun and games with the loony crew,also my yahoo window is always open so I can answer any fresh comments.Thank God I do not have yahoo messenger so as to chat to kbw crew members with on the comp at jobo!
Yesterday I knew things had become too much when I had a small quiz to do and before the quiz the prof said that we had 30 mins to go over our handouts.So I thought I had read pretty well and even though I had lost one handout I was like what the heck!I decided to go to the lib to pitia my usual blogs and I ran into Mutumia's post and I was laughing alone in the lib like a mad man.when I got into class for the quiz it was four questions and the last question was on the handout that I didnt bother hunting for in the lib.The question was about what Donald Rumesfeld told the Chinese when he went to visit them.As a result of me going to get my hit instead of hunting down the handout I ended up rewriting US - China diplomatic relations by giving Rumesfeld a speech that never came out of his mouth.A whole one paragraph to add!Sheesh!But like most addicts I had a back up plan that could still keep me in the stash.I had done his optional extra credit project so I can still keep getting high!Oooh I'm suppossed to be working now.If anyone out there has a cure...Help me please, these kbw blogs are too hard to resist!I know there are more of you who need to go public like akiey,m,poi,milo,nick,msanii,Ms K and the rest you know yourselves!
ps:Mutumia please desist from taking pics of me when I have just gotten up!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

100 things about me expounded

So as regards my 100 things about me part 2.There were some questions about certain points.
For Mutumia
# 52.I used to go for power yoga classes - Well I used to have bad posture and it tires out my back and it gets even worse if I sit in bad chairs.So I was once taking a stroll in Sarit Centre and saw a flyer for classes and i was like what the heck!
Also since yoga is seen as primarily for chics in the West which is B.S coz in India all genders practice and the main yogis are mostly men.So power yoga appeals to me as it also strengthens,improves muscle tone and is very relaxing.

#69.Have you ever been to places like mashada and kenyaniyetu?Most threads start out fine then just degenerate into cyber brawls.Some of the language used in those forums would make a langa blush!That and there are always characters who seem to have some sort of feud going on.

For Nick
#82.Not that I would go burn down all porn stores but how do I put this.Hmmmmmm ok I wouldnt go out and buy any let's say that.I dont think it adds much value to one's life unless you are using it as a marital aid.I mean not many of you guys out there are going to take part in a 3some and it is not as glamorous as the movies makes it out to be.Plus I think that when you see one porn you have seen them all this is not including all the gross stuff like gay porn,the ones where people crap on each other and those that include our furry friends.But the implausible plots in porn are funny ie buff plumber walks in to fix sink at desperate housewives kitchen.In the middle of his work when he is topless and sweat is dripping off his chiselled physique; the housewife comes closer and asks if she could take a look.She is wearing nothing under her gown/housecoat and says in a throaty voice,"why dont you check my pipes now?"cue cheesy music and let the shag begin!Also I think porn just messes up men's perception of women and it doesnt help that mainstream magazines are moving closer to that in their pinups and cover ie We all remember the Toni Braxton Source cover.I have been to see pals who are watching porn and I dont even bother to look at the screen, but I think everyone should do what makes them happy.So if you enjoy porn by all means have a ball,bust a nut but I wont be watching it with you!

#93.Well i was "saved" sometime in high school and for sometime afterword.I even went to Bible School.But somewhere deep inside I knew and I still know that conventional religion isnt my thing.But I have no bile against it, I still pop into church once in a while.But I would rather read my bible,meditate and read the teachings of people like Buddha etc and use them to become who I am meant to be.

I eagerly wait that clip of kids being whooped from nick.The fact that kids can now cuss out their parents is just wrong to me.Anyway hope that has answered your questions.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

8 blogs I hate

I was looking at the vote results on the poll that I put up regarding whether or no I should share about the blogs that irritate me the most.Well what I have decided to do is to generalise the list as it would not be very nice for me to ingilia someone just because I do not like what I have learned about them through their blog,boring content or many other factors when they have spent loads of time and have had to convince themselves to do it.But I will give a broad list of what pisses me of in blogs and not who, after you had drooled after reading the title hahahaha!
1.When someone posts only once in their blog.Why start the damn thing then?This is different from someone who has gone on a hiatus.
2.Picture book blogs.I have nothing against pictures but when your blog is all pics and minimal content that doesnt work for me.
3.Story blogs.Yes it is good to tell stories but I don't have the time to start reading the story from 3 months back.I like being able to jump in immediately and know what is going on
4.Political blogs.One merely has to go to a bar in nairobi west and listen to zacks talking to learn that everyone knows how to run Kenya.Please leave it out of the cyberworld, unless you are doing more then talking!
5.Bad templates.I have seen some templates out there that would give a blind man a headache.If you cant find a good template please just stick with the ones that blogger gave you.
6.Overly complex blogs.There are some blogs where the index page beautiful but so complex that you have to click all the icons to find the way in.Keep it cool but simple some people are not as patient as me.
7.Swahili sanifu blogs.don't get me wrong, I love swahili.But I find it very hard to read lots of swahili..remember the swa vct ads that featured folks like Reddykyulass and Mercy Myra?Those ads were in swa sanifu and it used to take me quite some time to get through them.At least me, there was a pal of mine who looked at one for kidu 10 mins and gitched jack!But keep it up we need you!
So pole to any of you out there who were waiting to see beef start.It aint going to happen.Damn this was a dry post.I guess its one of those days

100 things about me part 2

I did the first part of this post some time back.Click here for details. So this is a break from the usual gender issue posts.I am tired of sleeping with a rungu at my side and a nyahunyo under my pillow in case Ms K and Mutumia to name a few decide to do me in!So here goes part 2!
51.I still love dogs
52.I used to go for power yoga classes
53.I went for muay thai ( kick boxing classes ) classes
for some months.Most painful yet strangely edifying experience I have had.
54.I think Catholics have the most beautiful churches
55.When it comes to women I avoid the 9s and 10s.Too much drama and baggage
56.I love to sit in the back of class
57.I must have an afternoon nap
58.I have a laugh that very few people have heard.
59.I support the death penalty even though no-one has been hung in Kenya forever
60.I love women who can make me laugh
61.I like women with a little extra around the waist
62.I think weed should be legalised
63.I have a set of tarot cards and I know how to use them
63.I don't like tea
64.I once saw a guy puke into a glass at a local and with the way those ppl clean glasses I do not use glasses at locals.
65.I think cheap beer tastes better then expensive beer
66.I have drank in a shack that had a dust floor, carboard walls and a paraffin lamp for lighting
67.I have also drank at the Hilton,Inter-continental and Serena
68.I am my own worst critic
69.I think Kenyans have the worst etiquette on on-line forums
70.Whenever I get bored of maisha huku stato I always flash back to the good
old days in Kenya.
71.I think that today's kids are not as smart as we were when we were kids
72.I think kid of this day and age should get more ass whooping!
73.I believe in old school chivalry only when it goes both ways
74.I was in the stampede at Nyayo when that kid was killed.It was a surreal experience
75.I think all boys should play a sport preferably contact as kids.It builds character
76.I think that boxing should be banned
77.I think that risks should only be taken if the reward is large enough
78.I think that a man should never let his woman see him cry
79.I think that a man should never get beat down in front of his woman.Although it is fun to beat down a punk in front of his woman ( so I hear ).
80.I think that Francis Lotodo rocked!He was a hard ass!If you dont know who he is then you way too young
81.I think Fred Gumo rocks too!
82.I dont like porn very much
83.I dont like gays too
84.I think that lesbians are ok
85.I think that all men should have beards
86.I think that all men should know how to cook, I can
87.I think West Africans are all shifty and shouldnt be trusted
88.I really hate it when you meet a Kenyan and the first thing you are asked is what tribe you are.I think we should be passed that by now
89.I am way too opinionated
90.I like ice cream
91.I like coffee
92.I went to a catholic school
93.I was once "saved"
94.I dont go to church
95.I dont believe that there is only one way to God
96.Disco dance compes on KBC used to make my day!
97.I think a nice smile is one of the most attractive things in a chic
98.I have never been arrested
98.I have bribed cops several times
99.I find it hard to throw stuff away
100.I think that every jamaa should own at least one good suit for special occassions
Just realised that there is so much more that I can say but let's leave it at that.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Independant strong female seeks man.....part deux

I caught some flack from the ladies about my last post and some of you thought that I think that career and family are mutually exclusive!They are not!It can be done as I will show you below.But more on the issues at hand.

Whether or not a woman's youth and fertility are her most valuable assets, they are inarguably expiring assets. They are like a $200 voucher for a private eating establishment that declines by $10 every month you don't use it. If you don't ever want to eat at that place, fine, let the voucher expire.

But if one of your life's goals is to fully experience that eating establishment, use your voucher early.

There are women I know personally who do "have it all," in both my and their opinion. In all cases, these women married and had their children early, i.e. youngest child born when the mother was 25 or younger. Once all the children were in school, these women entered the work force or furthered their education, at least part-time. When the kids were old enough to start looking out for themselves, i.e. in college or at least driving, the mothers became serious about a career.

In one case, the woman went to law school and is now a successful lawyer. Because she had her kids early, her body recovered easily, and at age 49 she has two grandchildren and looks like one of those hot 30-year-old woman lawyers on a TV series. Getting her law degree at a later age didn't hurt her skill level or ability to find work.

Another woman had her first child at age 19 and then twins two or three years later. When the kids were all in school, she started working part-time. At one point she worked in a export company, and felt the owner was making some bad business decisions. At around age 45, with the kids out of college, she opened her own export company. Now, a little over a decade later, she's making almost $200,000 a year and looks great.I could go on but I think ya'll will start thinking I have a Mbugua kinda thing goin so Im going to shut up.

Which of the career paths listed below makes more sense?:

1. Focus on career right out of school, have recreational sex aka hanya with pleasant male companions your own age, be on the success track for 10-15 years, then panic when you realize you want children but you don't want to derail your career, your looks are starting to fade compared to the twentysomethings, there aren't any men that seem interested in marrying you, and in any event, you're running out of time,


2. After secondary school or during college, focus on finding a man about 10 years older who has established himself in the last decade and who wants a family. Use your youth, looks, and fertility to find the best possible man for the role of Husband and Father. Have children at a young age, soon after you finish your schooling, while you have lots of energy and your body will recover quickly. Be there for the kids when they need you, and let your husband do the financial lifting. Be good to both the kids and your husband, and be thinking about what your career dreams are while caring for your family. Talk to your husband about these dreams. Tell him you don't want to just sit around the house at age 40-45. Then go after your dream, once the kids are of majority age. You've still got a few good decades left, plenty of time for career success.

Many women who pursue careers find they don't like it nearly as much as they expected. Far fewer women have children and then wish they hadn't. Why not do the kid thing first, while your body is primed for it, and start a career later in life?

You can start a new business at any age eg A 65-year-old man living on Social Security with a used car and a love of cooking drove around the Southeast United States in the 1950s, cooking samples of food to persuade restaurant owners to buy his special blend of seasonings. When he made enough money from spice sales and found a financial backer, he opened his own little restaurant, selling one kind of food made with his blend of seasonings. It was successful, so he licensed others to open similar establishments. When he died 25 years later at age 90, Colonel Harlan Sanders left behind his legacy: Kentucky Fried Chicken, now KFC.

A man who wants a family can't have it without a woman. He would prefer a young, fertile one. She will have the energy to keep up with kids, and her body will recover quickly from pregnancy and childbirth. Men know that a woman's sex drive and looks decline. We'd like to start with one where the decline hasn't already gone on for a couple of years or decades.

A woman who wants both a career and children faces a number of problems if she gets on the career track first, and intends to marry and have kids later. First, since men are good at earning money, we don't much care about your income level--that old comparative advantage thing. We want your youth, looks, and fertility--we've already got the money thing covered. Get to be 35 and still single and you'll find that the men who want to get married want to do so because they want to have kids. Thus, they want someone in the peak of her reproductive years, not the end of them. Second, if you do find a husband, becoming a mother around age 40 means being an old woman for most of your children's adult life. When your kids grow up, wouldn't it be nice to be young enough to still do active things with them for a decade or two? And what if after 12-15 years of the career track, you realize you're burnt out? Now what? Quit work to get married? What sane man wants a 35-year-old woman who has decided she doesn't like working?

Last of all, if you marry a man 10-15 years older, and start your career after the kids are grown or at least minimum responsibility, your husband is likely to be very supportive of your dreams. Men are very loyal to those who are good to us. If you've been a great wife and mother, we are going to applaud your wanting to get out of the house and bring in some income. We're going to be thrilled if you replace some or all of the family savings that were drained when the tuition bills for university came due. We're going to be proud of you making a financial success of yourself, so that you now truly "have it all." We'd love to retire and play golf or whatever, and admire your success.

And if you decide the career track isn't for you after a few years (or a decade), we won't be upset. You can quit at age 45 or 50 and do something part-time and your husband will never have any complaints. You let him have a wonderful family, were a great wife, and a wonderful mother to his children.

It's obviously an uphill task and almost too late for any childless career women out there in their 30s. The people that need to understand are today's secondary school- and college-age women who want a career and a family.

If you have multiple goals, and achieving one of them requires that you do it before a certain expiration date, work on that one first.Duh!
I can hear some mortars in the air so time for me to take cover!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Independant strong female seeks man.....

Since mutumia has decided to use alphabet time lately on male female issues.I too have decided to do my own series.Complete set will be out on tape and dvd soon!Anyhow now that we are in the new millenium and many women have the same access to the same education and career opportunities; which I think is great as I have no problem at all with women who want to climb the corporate ladder, pursue careers in traditionally male fields, etc.

I also agree with something a woman friend said in a discussion of men and women, that an intelligent and educated woman is a better choice for a wife, both for the genes that she splits with her husband and passes along to their children, as well as being a more interesting mate to talk to and be with.

What I see as the fundamental problem with women pursuing careers is the near-universal assumption these women make: That they will be able to "pencil in" a suitable husband at whatever point that they decide it's time to marry and have kids.That is a very dangerous assumption, because it's seldom true, and I'll explain why.

I have read several variations of this story in many magazines around the world. The story was about a woman, never married, who had risen to the top of some fairly big company. As I recall, it wasn't Fortune 500 size, but it was big and she had done a great job at directing the company's growth and making it successful. In the process, she herself had amassed a seven-figure net worth, with an annual income of a half-million dollars or so.Or in the Kenyan version she started her own company that was now making millions of shillings, take your pick.Fact is that she was a self made woman.

She was 46, as I recall, and couldn't find a suitable man to date and marry. The article chronicled her many attempts to rectify this situation, including her hiring an expensive dating service that specialized in matching up busy executives with suitable mates.

The service matched her up with some men, but none were much interested. This woman seemed amazed (and despondent) that the male executives the service fixed her up with (and that she was attracted to) weren't much interested in seeing her a second time. There had been a couple of men that wanted to see her again, but their incomes were a small fraction of hers and she didn't want much to do with them as she viewed them as not being successful.

The lady theorized that the men who weren't interested were "intimidated by a strong woman," and lamented that male executives had fragile egos, and needed doormats for mates, etc ( ladies I know you say that as I hear it all the time from you! ). It was a fairly detailed article.

Shortly thereafter, the letters section printed reader's responses to this article, and one guy nailed the situation dead-center.I wish I could find the exact article.

He said the woman was failing to see the basic economic principle of comparative advantage, on which all successful trade, commerce, and business is based. He wrote that he was surprised such a financially sharp person was apparently oblivious to what was so obvious to him.

Comparative advantage means you are most valuable to someone who needs what you have, because without you, they can't have it. Florida can sell oranges and orange juice at a profit to people here in Georgia, even after paying shipping costs, because orange trees won't grow here, and so if we want orange juice with breakfast, we have to get it from them.

Comparative advantage also says that you should concentrate your time and energy on that which rewards you the most highly, to the point of hiring others to do work that you may even be better at than they are.Mutumia put your hand down and take notes it is not yet question time.

Example: A neurosurgeon who happens to be a world-record typist that can type 200 words per minute is still better off hiring a 60 wpm secretary to transcribe his notes, because there are lots of secretaries who'll work for less than $20 an hour, and his time is better spent doing more neurosurgeries which pay hundreds of times that rate.

The letter-writer's point was that the woman executive in the article was failing to grasp this economic fact. The male executives weren't "afraid of strong women," they weren't interested because this woman didn't offer them anything they didn't already have. They already had lots of money. They already had financial and business success.

The letter-writer pointed out that the men who had shown interest were the ones that were younger and hadn't had the business success that she had. They were attracted to her because she offered what they didn't have. Unfortunately, the woman executive didn't grasp this, and for some reason didn't see that her situation made her much more attractive to pool boys than to Donald Trump.

This is the great tragedy of women's empowerment: The so-called women's movement has encouraged women to get specialized education and pursue careers right out of school. Feminists have said over and over that women can succeed at any business endeavor a man can. THIS IS TRUE. But what makes this message so damaging: Saying it over and over to young women has distracted them from remembering (or realizing) that they have a tremendous comparative advantage over men. This comparative advantage is their ability to have children, and it exists for only part of their lives.

If a woman doesn't particularly want to bear children, fine. But almost all of the young women I meet do have a strong maternal instinct and say they definitely want kids. Why don't they realize that their youth and ability to bear children are expiring assets? Why are they doing what you can do at any time (work in a business) during the only time they possess those valuable assets?

What if a recent college graduate who was the star striker for his college soccer team told you that he intended to play professional soccer in the English Premiership, but not until after he'd gotten his law degree and had established a successful law practice? You'd think he was crazy, yet women do the equivalent every day.

Here's a fired idea for the women who want to "have it all": Do it in the logical order, which is the reverse of what you've been doing.

I will expand on this topic in my next post.Now yes you in the back I will answer your questions now.