Friday, October 06, 2006

The CK post!

Okay I know this ish here was way way over due. Now for those of you who are the purveyors of all that is good and pure, I have a warning!
There is going to be a whole lot of heresay, rumourmongering, speculation and mucene in this post. If you can't take it, please exit here!
Now who is this man CK? That is a hard question to answer because information on this dude is very hazy and hard to come by. This man doesn't give personal interviews at all unless they somewhat relate to his business empire. The kind of information you get from all his different companies is vague and not of much use huh?No age, place of birth, education, family; etc.
But one thing that is an open secret is that this dude loves women (and according to some sources men too). Why is it an open secret? Well if you are as well connected as this dude and you own a radio station; no negative media about you will see the light of day.
I mean do you think any other middle aged ancient man could decided to indulge his nostalgia, become a DJ and spend time with people half his age and not get called out in some way or other?Let's not forget the fact that working in his factories isnt heaven, there are employees who have been casuals for years on end, and this goes against labour law in the country. But other then a brief mention that story didnt go very far.
So time for the DJ CK tales..........

My mother used to sit on a board (this geezer is a member of like 10,000 boards ) with him and many of the board members were not amused when they had a board meeting and he showed up with this company. His "date" was a young chic who was wearing a belt that was masquerading as a skirt and a low cut top to match, and he seemed totally oblivious to the rest of the Board's disapproval.

There was this chic I knew who took up an intership at one of his companies, a courrier I think. So one day when he passed by she caught his eye and he began talking to her. This was one of those sheltered mamas so she thought that he just being a good boss. He would go out of his way to find out how she was doing when he was in town.
So one day she let's slip that she has moved out of home and is looking for a place to stay and she mentioned that living with her boyfriend was not an option (so he knew that she was spoken for). It's at this point that he mentions that he has an apartment near a popular 5 star hotel in the city centre that he isnt doing anything with so she can move in there for a while. Needless to say the chic was overjoyed. He still used to drop in at the office and even give her complimentary tickets to events so she could go with her boyfriend.
One Saturday night around midnight when she was alone in her new swanky pad she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and it's good old CK reeking of alcohol and asking to be let in. She looks at him and in her total naivety says, "no, it wouldn't be appropriate."
CK shrugs and walks away. This happens again two weeks later with the same outcome.
One week later after a hard day's work the chic goes to the apartment, only to find all her belongings in the corridor.
She is shocked and calls CK, only for him to tell her in a casual manner; "In fact I wanted to call you, I need my apartment back."
I guess at that moment she learned how CK operates.

I remember once being a business club member in Uni and for our annual dinner we invited CK to give a speech. Big mistake!
He went up on the podium and started well, giving the virtues of hard work and what we as a student organisation could learn by being members. He then started talking about how the men in the audience should use their money to buy their ladies new locally made underwear and not "dead" peoples' underwear as sold in the street by hawkers. He added that real men shouldn't take their women to live in places like Eastlands that don't have water.
At this point I was so amused that I dont recall the rest of the speech but I know there are several club members out there somewhere who can back me up. Needless to say our faculty asked us why we couldnt find a more credible speaker.

Then there are these two chics who are pals of mine who both told me that CK had the nerve to hit on them with their boyfriends present and even to tell them that he could take care of them better than they could.

As for whether he plays for both teams. I was catching pints with a pal of mine and a fly chic came by and she asked him how CK was doing in addition to asking her how she enjoys servicing him. Well she replied that it wasn't so bad as all she had to do was give occasional blowjobs while a certain well known male radio presenter would be his partner for the rest.

I am sure you have all heard of this moghul's adventures and in the case of the ladies been subject to his attention. So share the tales, be anonymous if need be!
ps: Other than the dinner story and the evicted babe the rest of the accounts are heresay and should not be repeated to every Odour, Njeri or Kanini as gospel truth!


First things first, I am not longer a KBW member. The powers that be decided I was too much of a loose cannon so I was let go. But I will address that issue in it's full entirety on Monday. Friday is upon us! Woohoooo!!!!!!!! Let the pics roll!

Let me tell you a bedtime story, In a land far, far away.......

I'm sorry but this senseless abuse of cheap couches has to end! Oh!I didn't know Casper had a Kenyan sister!

So Mercy, did you use the rest of your sweater to make a scarf?

Kijana!Jaribu na utaona!Makes me wonder how we could ever get the nerve to concentrate with a dude with an automatic weapon in the room.

This looks like a anti-black out pre-emptive strike

Guess who's coming to dinner? Or should it be, guess who's going to be dinner?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!Someone stole my eye liner!

Everyone loves a clown!

No snide comments here, these girls look great!
Ps: I know that I owe ya'll a DJ CK post, so I am working on it as you read so you get to read two posts at once!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Can't we all just get along?

First things first, any ladies reading this post; I have to ask you to leave. This is because we KBW men need a post where we can commune, discover what it means to be Kenyan men and turn our synergy into a positive outlet for the good of the Kenyan people. I am sorry but it is about we invoked our rights for Positive Sexism. Please exit here.

For those of you who are still around. I managed to get a camera into M's forum and this is the exchange between Him and Shiro.

The exchange betweeen Joe and M didn't end there and continued here with M being well prepared.

Oh snap! I have to go to class! More clips of fun at Thinker's room later! I just hope there are enough people left alive to watch them after the ruckus!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Knowledge vs wisdom and a disturbing skit....

I was puttering around KBW blogs and came across this brouhaha which made me realise that some people have different qualities. Some people have;
Knowledge:Organized or contextualised information which can be used to produce new meanings and generate new data.
While others have;
Wisdom: the trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight.
( Feel free to pick your own definition from the myriad that are available on-line).
Knowledge does not mean that someone will always make the right decision, it merely means they have the tools to make the decision at their fingertips but doesn't mean they will. I don't see myself as an avatar of wisdom, I have more than once made mistakes; but I pride myself on the ability to learn from them. What I find astounding is how the arguments articulated by some of the people on this and other comment boards makes you wonder if they ever stepped into a university lecture room or even a high school classroom! Add to that heated passions and you have a recipe for chaos.
Knowledge and passion do not always make for good reasoning but Wisdom and a level head more often than not do, that is one thing I am thankful for learning after reading some of those arguments.
Another lesson that I learnt is that the hand that rocks the cradle indeed rules the world, some of the arguments being articulated slung were clearly learned at mother's bosom or on daddy's lap and knowledge has been used to rationalise and sanitise them. But at the end of the day whether you call it feculence or excrement, it still smells just as bad. One thing that education is meant to help us to do is to examine the beliefs and values we grew up with and realise their relevance or obsolescent nature, not rationalise all of them. Because we have to admit that not all the beliefs and values we have grown up with are positive.
At times we learn more by losing gracefully than an ugly win. As for the arguments, I am not going to point out who I think has knowledge or wisdom, while there are some characters there who lack both; feel free to make that decision for yourself.

I was flipping across channels the other day and came across this skit on one of the WWE wrestling shows.Call it over-reaction but I think that this skit is somewhat racist because it's just reinforcing the usual stereotypes about black males. But on the other hand this is a culture where many black males are proud to refer to themselves as thugs and doing time is often seen as a badge of honor so what do I know? Plus it is a well known fact that the owner of the WWE Vince McMahon holds nothing holy, he has even used the death of one of his popular wrestlers to set up a plot-line that has run for several PPVs. He was going to use a bi-sexual wrestler to set up a plotline that was to have a love triangle between 2 male wrestlers and a woman, so I guess I shouldn't get that flustered because with Vince at the helm it was inevitable!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Muppet Queen has bug infestation and A Kenyan Horror Story

The muppet queen was on her usual late night radio show last week and said how she had to burn her mattress and sheets in addition to dealing with itching fits all over her body. According to her, she had a bed bug infestation but methinks the crabs, bed bugs and lice got tired of eating in the basement and decided to move around the rest of the house. Her co-host suggested that she sleep with her sisters but she said they refused.
This brings me to my question. You are a mama with a kid, making good money and are still living at home?That for me is a warning bell. Unles you are marrying a 21 year old girl, if someone has a paying job and are still living at home past the age of 25, think long and hard before going long term with them (same goes for men who can afford to live on their own but don't). I mean if someone has a well paying job and are still living with their parent's well into their mid- twenties without a plausible reason, I think they are ill equiped to handle the new responsibilities that running a home may entail. In fact living at home could be their way of escaping them.
I wanted to hear the rest of her story but I had to go disinfect my earphones before my ears got infected.

Anyway enough of that. Let me tell ya'll a story. 20 year John, his 19 year old sister and family moved into a new neighbourhood. The first few weeks were utter boredom for John as he knew no-one in the neighbourhood and was getting bored stiff. Things were a bit better for his sister as some of the boys in the estate went out of their way to try and hook up with her and so she knew some people here and there. But as time went buy John managed to make pals with the dudes who would chill out and crack jokes the whole day at jobless corner, which was where the recent high school graduates who had nothing to do and the matatu touts would hang out.
Since John was waiting to get his acceptance letter from one of the public universities he had alot of free time as he had just finished doing a certificate course at a commercial college. Other than playing PS2 and watching TV the only other thing he did was hang out with his new pals at jobless corner. When they felt comfortable around him they made him part of their gomba chewing and boza smoking crew. Every Saturday night they would go to the house of one the group whose parents had retired upcountry leaving him the house to take care while the looked for a long term tenant.
In addition to their usual activities they would also buy a few bottles of cheap cane liqour, invite one of the local girls, get her drunk and have their way with her as a group.
One weekend John had to go out of town to run an errand for his father. He found that the usual festivities had gone some way without him so he joined in grabbing a large glass of cane liqour and taking a puff of the blunt. As the high began to kick in one of the dudes came to him and told him that they had gotten another girl wasted and were having their way with her and that he should go take a shot.
He stumbled into the dark room and could vaguely make out a naked figure on the bed. He unzipped his trousers and approached the bed. He got on the girl and began having his way with her. As he was thrusting away enjoying himself, the girl drunkenly mumbled that it was about time she went home.
He thought that the voice sounded shockingly familiar but he ignored it and kept on with the task at hand. She repeated her request one more time and he thought to himself,
"It can't be!" but decided to put his addled mind at ease and reached over to the side table and turned on the light.
The face that met he saw was so familiar that he was jolted into becoming sober, it was his sister he had been shagging!Their screams reverberated all over the estate, making dogs howl, cats caterwaul, children cry, pregnant women go into labour and parent wake up wondering what horrors had visted their quiet neighbourhood..........

(Tale narrated as told to him in a dingy Nairobi West bar i.e. West End. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental and unintentional. All rights reserved Acolyte 2006)

Monday, October 02, 2006

Monday Malaise and get off my back........

The day that we dread most... Monday is upon us! The drudgery that accompanies it almost makes me want to wish we had 3 day weekends.
I was having a major case of the malaise on Saturday but an International Student's bash and breakfast at I-hop on Sunday alleviated it temporarily.
The fact is that I am sick and tired of living in this one horse town. O.K it isn't that small but when you are used to living in a big city like Nairobi, the hustle and bustle, conveniences, burgeoning social life and the anonymity; small town life does begin to get to you.
I find it tiring that the bulk of people here are Undergraduate students who's average age is 20. Not to say that they are bad people but I do find it easier to relate to people who are my age and older. So some of my good friends are the few grad students who spend extra time on Campus after their classes and the Associate Professors many of whom are under the age of 40.
It also doesn't help that I do alot of the same things and go to the same places over and over ie go to class, go to work, go to the gym, go shop once in a while etc. Add to this the life of poverty that comes with being a student and you don't have the happiest camper.
I am also really beginning to dislike my job and one of my bosses. But I just don't feel like going into details about that.
But instead of getting depressed about it, I have decided to dig in my heels, concentrate on my books and press on to the goal of finishing school. Because as the good book says, "It shall pass."

Now it seems that a blogger took exception to my rant about the diplomatic "indiscretion" of the Tanzanian President. It seems that it is always fun to demonise someone which in this case is me. I do admit that my post was a bit too strongly worded, but it was an off the cuff rant which many bloggers understood and did not take too seriously.
I have been told that I am overly nationalistic (yes, I know you pontificators out there are saying that I am not the kind of nationalist that Kenya needs ) and I can be a bit hot headed; which isn't the best combination. So I did not take too kindly to what their President "said," plus I have had Kenyan friends who have done business or live in Tanzania and while some of them have had wonderful experiences there are many who have had many problems there, and talking to them may have influenced my post.
But the fact is that I am not the only person who voiced the same sentiments. I am not going to name names but we all know that this is the truth. Go google this paragraph and see the url that comes up...
P.S. To add insult to injury Bush has promised to visit Tanzania soon. My advice to the Bush Presidential party. Do not forget two very important items. Namely plenty of generators to generate your own electricity and an interprator who understands Kiswahili, broken English and proper English.
Yes, it is the url of another KBW member. So please, let's point everyone out and not just Aco.This blogger has blogged about the negativity Tanzanians have for Kenyans when it comes to trade and bilateral relations but has the person been mentioned? No, no not at all! From the sentiments that were expressed by 2 of the commenters there you would think it was me alone. If you read the comments to my post, they were quite a few people who concurred with what I said meaning that I was not alone.
I do know that some people out there may not like this blog. Well if you don't, do not read it or talk about it. What you are doing is giving me publicity, which I know is the last thing that you want to do. It is about time that some people realised that not all blogs are as "highbrow", divinely inspired and as intellectual as yours, I am sure when some of these people publish a new post they feel that an angel is born, somewhere in Africa a woman has been delivered from the patriachy, that rain begins to fall on some famine parched land and that textbooks rain down from heaven in the classrooms of poor schools world over. All that happens in my world when I click the publish button is that a new post is published. Some of us blog off the cuff, we blog what we feel and they are not always warm fuzzy feelings that inspire us to forgive slights against what we call dear, turn the other cheek and hold hands and sing Kumbaya.
Surprising thing is that to that I actually do visit the blogs of those who don't like my blog and think it appeals to the lowest common denominator. Life is too short for e-grudges and fact is that since we have differing opinions doesn't mean that I think that you can't say something wise once in a while.
In fact an e-mail on the same day politely asking me to take down the post and saying that it was offensive would have worked real well instead of the flaying and sneering at me and my blog. It has been done before and I obliged because as the saying goes, a soft word turns away wrath. If you have a problem with anything I blog about, e-mail me and we'll discuss it; but hit back and you are no better than I am at all. Some of my best blog pals are people whom I have clashed with on earlier occasions.
If any blogger had a major issue with that post they should have e-mailed me and I would have dealt with it, but letting feelings fester and expressing them two weeks too late does little because the issue has been forgotten by many, me included. Anyway I can remember a saying in my broken swahili, wacha watesama, kisha watalala.
ps: Pointing out my spelling mistake i.e it's instead of its' was just petty.But while we are at it you might as well point out the fact that my space bar gets stuck when it gets to the end of sentences.