Friday, September 19, 2008

Dear Naomi and Other Things......

Dear Naomi Campbell,
I have admired your work as a super model for many years and your volatile character has always provided many interesting incidents that have kept me entertained but I also recall that in the past you admit that you did abuse drugs like cocaine but you have now conquered the habit. Well Naomi, the mind is a powerful thing in that it can rationalize anything. I watched the commercial above where after you drank some Sobe Life Water while you were on the beach and all of a sudden some lizards on the beach began to play music for you and dance; this was especially after one lizard managed to catch a drop of your water with it's tongue.
As a reasonably educated man I have learnt not to discount anything without research, it is that in mind using 3 other different individuals as test and control subjects, I attempted to replicated the phenomena in an environment as identical to where your incident occurred. Despite our concerted attempts at no time whatsoever did any lizards on the beach attempt to drink some of our water, in fact they scurried away when we attempted to offer them some, the ones that did not scurry away did not play miniature musical instruments or dance for us. After running different scenarios, accounting for the implausibility of lizards playing instruments/dancing, the non-existance of the sub-species of lizard in your commercial, and studying the data we collected; I came to one shattering conclusion.

You are still on drugs!!! I know that may be hard to believe Naomi, but admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving a problem. I would like you to know that I am here for you. The expensive rehab facilities you are accustomed to are obviously not the solution, it is that in mind that I welcome you to convalesce in my apartment. I will gladly accept half of what you pay the rehab facilities since I am not in this for the money but out of concern and empathy. I look forward to your reply.

Your Dear Friend,
The Acolyte

In other news, anyone familiar with US tv knows that it's packed with reality tv shows. So anyway Diddy aka P.Diddy or whatever else he calls himself has a show called "I want to work for Diddy", it's like the apprentice in that all the competitors compete in different challenges with the ultimate prize being to work for Diddy. So anyway there is the story of this chica, who used to work in the entertainment industry and had a figure and a half but after lots of dudes tried to sleep with her she decided to gain weight to fend them off (so she says) read the story here. But the joke was on her when she said this in a later interview:

Lots of women are constantly approached and harassed by men sexually in business, in the music business it’s rampant. So yes, I really thought after over 10 years of dealing with that crap, that I could make myself sexually unattractive to men and then they would listen to me rather than look at me. It was maddddd stupid, I ruined a pretty damn good figure, but sometimes when you’re desperate you make dumb decisions. Now I attract men who like big girls, and jerks in the business are still jerks. Hey, you live and you learn. VH1 Blog

Ladies let me tell you one thing. No matter what you do to yourself there is a man out there who will still sleep with you, heck there are men out there who will sniff out and try to sleep with anything that has vagina. So the only thing that mama did was mess up her health. I guess ya'll have different coping mechanisms.

Anyway don't drink too much Sobe Life Water and have a nice weekend.........

Monday, September 15, 2008

Monday Monday Monday..............

Anyone who has read my blog knows that when it comes to travel, there is nothing I abhor as much as flying within the continental United States. The long waits, over booked flights, indifferent ground crew, old planes, no meals/snacks, luggage restrictions and the invasive security checks. It was an enlightening experience to read this article about how working as a member of the flight crew aka air hostesses has lost alot of perks and prestige over the years.

I want to share the picture below which I got from a blog that I read that discusses social issues. This is a magazine stand at a local library.

For some reason Blogger chose to crop the pic but there is also a notice lower in the pic also asking readers of JET to produce ID at the front desk if they want to read it. On the surface this sounds pretty racist given the fact that the same isn't asked  of for readers of the other magazines that are available. The other magazines from the subject matter would seem to have a majority white readership while the same can't be said of JET or Essence which are ready predominantly by blacks. So the notices would have been clearly racist if for no reason all of a sudden the librarian decided to put them up just because black people like reading those magazines and in their opinion are more likely to make off with them. But on the other hand someone who works in a public library attested to the fact that those magazines and urban lit tend to be stolen far more often than other magazines, so the only thing they could do was to ask anyone who wanted to read them to produce ID. Even so, it would still be easy for you to think that most black people who go to the public library are thieves but I wonder what would happen if they put copy of Black Enterprise magazine on the shelf, I very highly doubt that it would go missing. The pedestrian conclusion, black people are thieves, the better conclusion; a certain demographic of black people is more likely to steal a magazine from the library. If you have any other interesting viewpoint please feel free to share....

And just to muddy the waters for you, the librarian did say that there are other magazines that are mainstream that they also ask people to present ID to read.....

I was reading this article in the Standard (one of the few interesting ones in quite a while), and I was thankful that I have never been under a boss who slept their way there (no pun intended). I have had bosses who got there by kissing ass rather than giving up some ass, but at least they had a basic idea of what they were doing. I guess that is one reason I abhor the corporate world since the politics that goes on there is nothing short of machavellian, this is not to say the same doesn't happen in the non-profit sector, it does but on lesser levels. I can only imagine having to do your own work, your bosses work and also cover your ass when they screw up. What's worse is that more often than not the higher up who is screwing your boss most probably knows that's the case but as long as they are getting what they want they don't care. An interesting angle that came up in the article is the advantage that women have over men in the work environment, if they choose to they can simply sleep with the right person and they are set but of course the author didn't look at the flip side; refuse to sleep with the boss and they could make life hell for you. I have heard such stories and they are not pretty at all. I now understand why some people choose to own their own businesses, at the end of the day they decide who to screw.

In other news I am trying to get inspiration to wrap up the long forgotten Drama Post series or maybe start a whole new series altogether. There's always some crazy ish that went down in my past that I could blog about if I could get a good reason to. Oh Liverpool beating ManUre was a nice touch to the weekend I must say. My mouse is also really acting the fool, it's made blogging so much harder, time to relearn all those keyboard shortcuts.

Have fun working people, I have Monday off! For once I come out on top.......