Friday, November 02, 2007

Jokes, Jugs and Other Things.........

I've never been so happy to have a week come to an end. This has been an interesting week to say the least. First things first,there have been this nude pics issue which I am going to post on in more detail further.

Anyway I also came to the realization once again that I have a somewhat geeky sense of humor; why do I say this? Well there is this popular site that I love to visit for the off-kilter humor that hadn't been updated for a while. So when the owner finally updated it, the bandwidth demand was enormous, one of the main reasons being Digg. As a result the page was loading slower than usual, so he posted this on the home page;

"Some pages may be loading slow today, site is experiencing Digg rape"

That line busted me up and I was laughing half the day. I shared it with a few people and they didn't understand the joke till I had to explain to them the whole concept of digg, page popularity and bandwidth. Nothing kills a joke like when you have to explain it from the ground up!

As I had said in my last post, this whole nude pics issue is leading to a mini-resurrection of many Kenyan forums. One forum had 30 something pages of people's e-mail addresses (I say we harvest them and sell them to spammers!) Is there anything wrong with taking nude pics? I say no! In fact I highly approve of them, (no not because of that you smut peddlers!) this is because for years Kenyan women have suffered under the crushing grip of the Kenyan patriarchy that for many generations has decided what women will wear, do and the roles they will play in society. But here are some women who decided to shrug off that crushing yoke and fight back with the one weapon they have at their disposal, their bodies! History will remember these women and so will many generations of future Kenyan women. I am at the forefront of this protest giving moral support and I will spread their work whenever I can! All that being said; this is another comment on one of those Kenyan forums that made my day;

Whoever has started this thread should be ashamed of themselves.

If you have distributed, solicited and received these pictures you are completely immoral, uncouth, shameless and totally silly.

How can such pictures even cause the resurrection of some members who have never been heard of for years?

Isn't this a good example of moral bankruptcy among the so called "leaders of tommorrow"?

You are all ghasia kabisa, takataka na mavi za kuku!!!

Having said that could you please send me the pictures, my email is

Last week I had one of those "God please let the ground open up and swallow me" days. You see at work there was this Kenyan chic who loves the job, she used to go on about it like it was the best job ever, you know those people who spout the company lines and such with fervour and enthusiasm? Yes that was her, it also didn't hurt that she also used to meet her goals and targets. I had nothing against her but I hated the company, so her fervour used to make my blood boil; so in the privacy of my own apartment I used to say nasty things about her once in a while to my small brother but at work I wouldn't say jack. So one day while I was seated at my desk, the chic came and said hi, we chatted a bit in swahili; she asked me what I thought of the job and all. Of course I was very diplomatic at this point and then she told me that she was going home in December for vacation, so if I wanted anything taken home she would do so for me; she then went on to give me her number and her e-mail address. Needless to say I wallowed in shame for the next few hours, that's the last time I'm talking smack about someone before I meet them and get to know them!

Reason #2145 Why Acolyte Is Going To Hell

Any other captions are welcome!

Anyway, have a good weekend people; I have an appointment to be cleaned out by my mechanic; please send all donations to my local Western Union Branch.......

Monday, October 29, 2007

Monday Moanings Part XI

Word on the net is that pictures of self styled Kenyan Diva Kaz are floating around the internet. No I have not seen them (a forward would be appreciated though) but I do hear they were tasteful pics (someone posted them online, holla at me for the link) she said they taken by someone she trusted or rather in her own words "loved" and for some reason or other chose to spray them all over the internet. I'm all for self expression and all that other good stuff but I wonder at times how come women let scandalous pics be taken of them in the first place and even worse to let other parties keep those pictures? I mean unless you also have explicit pics of your boyfriend what assurance do you have that if things go wrong that he won't share them with the rest of the world? Hmmmmmmm a thought just came to me, what if Kaz did this as a publicity stunt to keep her name in the lime light? The pics were being discussed on a popular Kenyan forum and I have never seen so many requests for a forward, the dude who cracked me up was the one who said, " please forward me those pics, they are for a school project." The other peeps who cracked me up are the ones who had this exchange on the same thread

Chic - I'm suspecting another guy in the office took those pics. Our wall is green and that wall is very green...
Dude - That's a bed in the "office"... Kwani you work in a brothel? If so whats the location?

Talk about 10-0. What was I trying to say? That's what I get for trying to blog while drinking a beer. Piece some meaning or useful lesson from that paragraph for me.

I was reading Mocha's blog the other day and she took issue with some commenter who took issue with her "dislike" of Nonini. So in the comments section someone posted this article by someone else who was taking issue with Kenyan music as a whole. Harsh as the article was I do agree with most of the author's points, the most ironic thing is that this dude is a pal of mine; we used to work together. Talk about an interesting way to run into people from way back when. On a bunny trail, I watched a music video of a song by Circuite (of Manyake fame), someone needs to take away his studio access: his videos suck and his music sucks even more!

And in closing, a long time ago the Acolyte used to watch WWF (not WWE) wrestling. Of course I knew wrestling was the last thing that was going on; just laughably bad scripting, steroid pumped wrestlers and silicone enhanced women. Anyway in the segment below Stone Cold Steve Austin and Booker T decide to go at it in a supermarket. If you aren't a wrestling fan don't bother watching the whole thing; the best part of it for me was mins 6:04 - 6:38. And people please don't try that at home or at your local supermarket! Nice Week people.........