Friday, August 18, 2006

Poor Nick, A bet that took balls, buying crap, a stupid dance and return of bile!

One of our old timers has been campaigning in private and in public for my picture.The simple fact is that first of all I don't like taking pictures very much, second of all I do like to remain anonymous.But my dear lad, if you do want a picture of me so much you can find a copy of newspaper for my town from yesterday.I am on the front page with the President of the University.

Sicknote aka Chris Kirkland finally got to play for the England. His dad and friends took out a 100 pound bet when Chris was 14 stating that he would one day play for England before he turned 30. The odds of the bet were 100/1 so now Mr Kirkland and his pals will now collect 10,000 pounds. Chris has been dogged by injury after injury during his soccer career and this has resulted in Liverpool declaring him surplus to requirements despite his talent. I give his dads full marks for having the belief that his son would one day play for England and putting his money where his mouth is!

Still on football.Michael Owen is going to miss the upcoming season according to recent reports. I am sure Newcastle are feeling like a bunch of kubaffs right now.They paid 8 million pounds extra for him and he hasn't delivered the goods. It's like going to a showroom and outbidding everyone for a high performance car only for the car to break down on after a short drive leaving you with an expensive repair bill. This git walked away from Liverpool and has never been the same again. He left Liverpool to win trophies, and the ironic thing is that the silverware began to flow when he left. Talk about an occasion when you should kick yourself in the ass.

Onto stupid trends. One of my fave blogs said that if you find anyone doing this dance you should kick they ass!I agree this is one of the stupidest dances I have ever seen!It is on par with that pirating dance peeps used to do, these kids should do something useful with their time like finishing High School!

I met a blogger the other (who will remain un-named till further notice ) and we started talking about some things that rankle us. After I vented a bit she told me that I can talk smack. It is with that in mind that I think it is about time that everyones' number one purveyor of bile and haterade came back.......The Instigator! I think only the old timers remember him. I'm going to ask him to guest blog very soon.As our Kenyan radio presenters would say...KEEP IT LOCKED!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Dame Wangu,DJ Craze,Nostalgia has it's limits, No sex please we're married and vote KBW!

I watched this video and much as it really doesn't bring much to the table ie the dude surrounded by chics, it has a great beat and a catchy chorus!Like I said before, if your song has a story it tells chances are it will have more chances of lasting on the charts and in people's minds.It also doesn't help that it has this infectious chorus that has been ringing in my head for the last two days.At times I find myself breaking out in the refrain, I did it yesterday as I was walking to the library and blonde haired Stephanie who was walking ahead of me must have thought that I had lost the plot!It's a shame that in true Kenyan fashion that may be his only song to see the light.I mean only in Kenya can people call themselves artistes when they only have 3 songs after 6 years, but that's another post in itself!

The song also reminds me sometime in Kenya when every young dude wanted to become a DJ and even chics were getting into the mix.Homeboyz must have made a ton of cash with their school at the peak of the craze.I don't know how things are looking right now in that area. I don't know if I blogged about this but I had a pal who was a DJ and on the slow nights what he would do was he would play a continous CD that he had already compiled and come out of his booth to mingle, he would also do the same if he saw a pal of his appear with a stunning chic (I guess he was the kind of DJ who was the subject of the song?). Rest assured were the joint a bit high class he wouldn't have been able to get away with that.I do remember the stigma the DJ job track had for quite some time, it was seen as a job for droupouts. I wonder if that has changed, despite the increase in high profile DJs in Kenya.

I don't know if it is a nostalgia or age thing but I have noticed myself listening to more and more soul as time goes back.I listen to The Jam on Capital because they do play some very good soul (mboff presenters aside!) and watch lots of VH1 soul.But that doesn't mean that I don't rock MTV, MTV2 and MTV Jams. I mean I enjoy nostalgia but I am not going to sit around remembering the good old days, if I did that full time I would never turn on the radio, tv, go to the movies, date, have kids, eat and do a host of other because things in many seemed better in the past than now. But we also forget the ability of the human mind to block out the undesirable parts of the past.Nostalgia does rock but don't forget you're living in the present! But that doesn't mean that I won't be flashing back once in a while seeing as by the time Nick does a flashback post we'll all have arthritis and won't be able to remember what we're flashing back about in the first place!

People often say that when women get married they let themselves go or refuse to give it up as much as they used to.This article I was reading pointed out that women's libido lowers after they get married. According to the researchers, once women are assured of a mate their libido tapers off.Of course their may be exterior factors at work too like having kids and running a home but I think this theory still has some truth to it.

Thanks to my exbabymamahomieloverfriend, I found out that KBW has gotten a nomination in the best blog community category of the 2006 Black Weblog Awards. We are going to be getting lots of visitor so it's time to take off the plastic covers off the couch, sweep the house and put those chapatis on the stove!Let's just say that I am going to pull out my best content for the next one week or so!Don't forget to do your duty and go rock the vote!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Chapos online, new colleague, comment bash and foreign bodies

Courtesy of Msanii I got hold of this site.When I saw the url I thought it was a joke but it seems it's for real!I wonder if they give free samples?Hmmmmmmmmm.Next time I am in the big city I should find out.What's next? You have to give it to Kenyans.Isn't that site just an evolution of those mathees who used to be invited to weddings to cook?I can see Devious One beginning , fermented porridge straight to your door!

Some pretty chics came here to interview for an open office position.There was a mature grad student among the 3.I do hope that she is chosen!I would like someone to discuss grad school and the challenges it brings over a cold drink.........

I would like to thank all the people who commented on yesterday's post.I ended up spending extra time at work interacting with ya'll and the staff thought I was working my ass off so early during the semester.If they only knew!And to spice things up we even now have a troll in the house!

During the picnic we had at the lake for the international students I observed something interesting. Other then one Nigerian mama who has piled on the pounds (too much Mcfoofoo?) all the other international students are at an acceptable weight for their height, and some are also pretty athletic too. But now that school is going to be back in session I can look forward to seeing the human blimps once again! Damn!Do these people like how their bodies look when they are naked in front of a mirror?I mean when you look like you are pregnant when you aren't there's a problem!It's even worse when you are a man!Anyway have to make sure I go to the gym today to do some preventive excercise!

Not an overweight body in sight!

Chonga viazi,Crushed Off and a Public Service Announcement

Say what you want to say but according to me that song shikas like a nonsense!And simple as the lyrics are it does what a good song does, it tells a coherent story unlike half of the kapuka that is on offer nowadays.No chicks in skimpy outfits, borrowed cars just the singers and their pals having an great ole time.That's what good videos are made of.Now will we are on that topic, how many of you out there have chongad viazi as a result of not having enough money to cover a bill?
ps:Youtube may be down for maintenance so the video may not show!

Does anyone remember the slang term "crushed off?" I think there are few slang terms that had as many definitions as this one.These were some of the meanings...
1.To beat someone up - "Ebu keep quiet before I crush you off!"
2.To catch strokes or shag - "Chief!After tuning that mama I crushed her off in the digz!"
3.To tackle in a game of rugby -"My guy did you see him after the full back crushed him off when he thought he would make the try?"
4.To eat ravenously - "We were so hungry that we crushed off everything that he had in his kitchen!"
5.To ignore - "I tried to convince my boss but he just looked at me and crushed me off!"
I don't know if any of you ever used this term or used it in all these ways but I heard it used in all these ways.I guess some people adapted it to the circumstance at hand but it sounds so good that I'm going to start using it again ie...There are some bloggers that I wouldnt mind crushing off!

Public Service Announcement!Anyone who has been out here does know that most Americans tend to be tone deaf when it comes to accents so at times one does have to roll some Rs and Ls to be understood. But with some people their natural accent may be very strong and makes pronouncing some of those letters hard.So when the natural accent is morphed with a Southern accent you have a disaster in the making!So Indianapolis becomes Indianna Police, Oklahoma becomes Okrahoma. We understand the shrubbing thingie but please dont make it worse.If it gets to a level where your fellow Kenyans can hardly understand you, go easy on the weng!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Graduation application, accomodating profs and community shield highlights

The moment is drawing nigh....I picked up my application for graduation today!It is just the other day that I came to the uni still smelling of jet fuel with the tags fresh on my lugagge.And look at me now!There are lots of things that I will miss when I am out of the 'ville but one thing that I won't miss is the brokeness, walking and the ethnic blandness (here most of the people are black or white - it's we international students that add some spice to the mix). But to give something you have to lose something. Here's to long work days, more bills, traffic jams and drama of all sorts. I am happy to say that I am on good terms with all my workmates, different employers and proffesors. I am a simple man and I try to avoid drama. Anyway here's to a new sem that will hopefully be my last.

One thing that makes me love going to school in the States or at least to my school coz other schools may suck, is the fact that professors try to work with you and accomodate you as a student. One of the required classes that I had to do wasn't being offered here this semester but at one of our satellite schools which is on a military base; since I am an alien I am not allowed in because I may steal military secrets or blow the place up.
Under normal circumstances that would mean that I would have to wait for next semester to do the course and as an international student unless it is my last sem I can't do one course and seeing as I want to do an internship during my last semester this would mean that I would have to add to more uneccesary courses. But lucky for me you can do some classes as an independant study but this didn't apply in this case, so my Advisor and the Head of Department worked together and created a course!
All I have to do is sit through an Undergraduate class and do some extra assignments (It also helps that I've had the prof for the undergrad course before and passed him all two times so he didnt mind me joining his class!)
If it were in Kenya I can picture the balding Head of Department seated at his desk looking at me and saying in a no nonsense manner, "I am sorry young man, you should have organised for such an eventuality; you will have to take extra classes next semester.There is nothing I can do." I had friends who did their Master's in Public Uni's and it isn't funny being at a Professor's mercy at all.I don't even want to get started about those professors who take pride in how many people failed their class (they exist here too) but seemed to be more prevalant back home.But that is a post for another day or for someone else who wants to pick it up from here.

Other then that I am going to the Lake today for a picnic to welcome the new international students, so look out for some pics.Let me leave you with highlights of the Community Shield.Mimi ni wako, Aco....

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A sore loser, foot in mouth plus chopped and screwed....

First piece of silverware for the year and hopefully not the last!

The Community Shield was on this Sunday.To cover his ass in case he lost Chelsea's coach and head moaner Jose Moaninho claimed that if Liverpool lost to his "50%" Chelsea side, it would be a major blow to their self confidence.Chelsea's 50% team had talents like Essien, Lampard, Ballack and Shevchenko playing in it, so their 50% is far and beyond most other teams' 100%!
Of course those of you who followed the match know that Chelsea lost 2-1.As usual Moaninho refused to shake Benitez ' hand unlike the time when Chelsea played Man-U and he shared a bottle of wine with Alex Ferguson as his team won.
This time round he at least conceeded defeat in front of the reporters but went on to say that Liverpool doesnt have what it takes to win the title.That may or may not be the case but the issue at hand was today's match and nothing else!
He then went on to offer this jewel, "When you play them you can win, lose or draw...."
No duh Sherlock!Those are the only 3 outcomes of any soccer game.There's no fourth outcome that I am aware of!

I came by foot in mouth this weekend.No not the disease but the blog.It chronicles how Kenyan politicians put their feet in their mouth everytime they speak and if you aren't into politics; it has some great cartoons too!There is alot of upcoming cartooning talent in Kenya apart from Maddo, Kham and Gado whom seem to have most of the limelight.

It's amazing the inane things that pass as trends nowadays.Anyone in the States if they listen to hip hop will not fail to come across chopped and screwed versions of songs. The fancy Wiki definition aside it's just basically dragging music and adding one or two DJ effects.What's the big frigging deal?!Ever-ready Batteries and the old Sanyo radio we had when I was growing up (don't deny it!Anyone who grew up in a middle class family in Kenya has a Sanyo radio gathering dust somewhere!) used to chop and screw up music tapes all the time.After long hours of listening to the mix tape I had been made, the BBD or whatever song would be playing just great and then in a second it would start slowing in tempo like DJ Screw is on the turn table, the beats would come out warped like it was an effort by the DJ and then a garbled sound would come out of the speaker and then I knew my tape had been screwed!If that isn't the original chopped and screwed, I don't know what is?!
I still think this trend has been overhyped!