Saturday, December 31, 2005


So it's the last day of 2005.At this point in time most of you are expecting a new year's resolution post.Well inevitably I will get to that but I was just looking at some past posts and I think that my blog has been changing as I and my life have.From more of a diary/rant kind of content to more commentary,observation,entertainment and shifting between all those different kind of genres.From being a solo blogger doing it just to see if I could stick to it, to becoming part of an online community with lots of people who read my blog and reading theirs in exchange.From being a blade of grass in a Kenyan field to being a piece of coal on a snow covered American plain.From having enough free time and resolution to read 3 books a week to having so much to read and write that reading for leisure became a pleasan memory of the past.From keeping in shape with or without gym membership to having a fully equiped gym but slowly turning into a couch potato/library resident.So many things have changed and so many have stayed the same that I don't think I can list them all.
So what do I expect from myself for the new year?
1.To finish school this year!-That will mean that I can't take summer off but hey sacrifices have to be made.
2.Daily excercise- This is one of the hardest things to commit to but once you do it for 2 weeks straight if feels great!Besides it's easier to move from a flat stomach to a 6 pack then from a beer gut to a flat stomach.So I'm going to start early before I start swimming against the tide.
3.Not to hear but to listen to people- My mind moves very fast and usually races ahead of the path the person who I am talking to is going add to that the way my attention span operates on two levels 200% focus or -200% complete disinterest.And when this happens I think they are boring as they didn't prove me wrong by going down a side road.So no matter how mundane the conversation may seem I will look into the person's eyes act interested,smile and everyone has something new to teach me.
4.To think in straight lines more often- My mind does not move in straight lines most of the time.I guess that is why I failed math so often in school.I am the kind of person who has so many random thoughts.Look at my blog and you will see it,there is rarely consistence in subject or tone.I am the kind of person who in the course of a conversation will ask the most random question out of nowhere or make a comment/observation that is out of the present context.To some people this is interesting but to most it is weird.So I'm just going to tie this into resolution 3 and sound just like everyone else.
5.To speak my mind more often -The culture down South or at least where I am doesn't encourage rocking to boat very much.I think it is because most people where I go to school are from very similar demographics.I miss instigating and playing the devil's advocate the way that I used to back home.
6.To be more imposing -I have noticed that I have become too laid back.This is not a bad thing but a change is in order.
7.To be more spiritual -Whether I like it or not I am very spiritual at my core.I think that is why I am able to ascribe to many facets of the different beliefts on earth.But that doesn't mean I will be religous, religion is more ritual centred while spirituality is not.
8.To go through a period of self imposed chastity- I plan to choose a time and live without the pleasures of the flesh for a month or so willingly.I know it can be done as hard as it sounds.It also gets easy when I am in my spiritual phases.The ironic thing is that whenever this happens a source of derailment is always sent to me.
Those are so many resolutions and I don't know if I will be able to achieve most of them, but I would rather aim for the stars and hit the moon then do nothing at all!
What are your resolutions?Share them please!Anyway all KBW folk and friends out there have a prosperous New Year!

Friday, December 30, 2005

Pimp my video!

I have had lottsa free time over the holidays and I have spent a large chunk of it watching TV and movies but the bulk of my viewing has been music videos.As I was mucking about on the net I discovered some videos from back home and realised we are on a level of our own, and there is so much we can teach the big shots out here about making music videos.Anyway let the lessons begin!

Why spend lots of cash leasing a lexus for the perfunctory "chilling with my boy" shot?When you can make due with what you have at the local park.

Why fly your dancers down to the Coast for a shot when you can digitally impose the background

You may not be able to afford to buy or rent bling but a faux gold shirt can give out the impression of being in the money too!

The budget for your video can also be a good prop!


Who needs b-boys and classically trained dancers?Who needs matching clothing?As long as the look like they are in rythymn

Why concot a complex story line?Nothing says it better then a vocal admission and some cash to back it up!

Instead of shots of people buying their ladies expensive gifts have a shot of a couple enjoying a sweet moment that costs hips have won!

Why hire an expensive venue when you can use your derelict area near you for free?

Instead of a shot of people catching strokes put in a shot that is very ambigous.This shot could be saying anything from "I have an ache here" to "When we are at home start licking here and work your way down"

Always add some culture to your video like balldancing here

I firmly believe that our video directors can teach those clowns who do the videos that come on VH1,BET and MTV a thing or two and save billions of dollars while bringing something new to the table!This post is dedicated to Mutumia, the patron saint of shags modos and Nick who is one of the dudes in the "car"!
Next:Lessons from genge and kapuka videos!

Fund Raising

Hey people!Hope that Christmas is going well!I am enjoying my holidays.And I am feeling way too lazy to post anything of substance so you get to read this:
Date: Tue, 27 Dec 2005 11:19:43 +0300

A fund has been started on how to beat the infamous breathalyzer.
The following stakeholders have so far contributed
as follows
1. EABL - kshs 2 billion
2. Tamarind - kshs 4 million
3. Buffet park holdings - kshs 2 million
4. Choices establishment - kshs 3 million
5. Prisons department - kshs 2 million
6. CBD bar and restraunt association -kshs 20
7. K-street traders association - kshs 500,000
8. Condom distributors association Kshs - 4 million
9. Mechanics, body and panel beaters association -
kshs 2 million
10. Nairobi west locals association - legal
representation and advice
11. Panel Beaters Association - 1 million
12. Matatu vehicles owners association- kshs 20,000
13. GISH (girls in search of Husbands) - Kshs.
14. HER (husbands escaping responsibility) Kshs. 1
15. BITCH (babe in total control of herself) Kshs.
16, BECOME (breathalyzer eradication committee of
MERUS) Kshs. 15M
17. EX-Kuona Mbee converts Association (Kshs.
200/-)( Maana meeli )
The fund is growing and all affected parties are
requested to
contribute generously to this worthy cause!!
Pamoja tuangamize breathalyzers!!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Big Brother is watching

A nation where the the government listens in on the citizen's phone calls without cause,where financial records are no longer confidential,where any politician who goes against any government action that he thinks is unconstitutional is branded a traitor and where all foreigners are branded enemies of the state and subject to a separate harsher set of laws.No I am not talking about cold war Russia I am talking about the good old U.S of A.Now to add on to this any of you who are thinking of taking part in any organised protest should think again......

Police Infilitrate Protests, Videotapes Show

Published: December 22, 2005

Undercover New York City police officers have conducted covert surveillance in the last 16 months of people protesting the Iraq war, bicycle riders taking part in mass rallies and even mourners at a street vigil for a cyclist killed in an accident, a series of videotapes show.

In glimpses and in glaring detail, the videotape images reveal the robust presence of disguised officers or others working with them at seven public gatherings since August 2004.

The officers hoist protest signs. They hold flowers with mourners. They ride in bicycle events. At the vigil for the cyclist, an officer in biking gear wore a button that said, "I am a shameless agitator." She also carried a camera and videotaped the roughly 15 people present.

Beyond collecting information, some of the undercover officers or their associates are seen on the tape having influence on events. At a demonstration last year during the Republican National Convention, the sham arrest of a man secretly working with the police led to a bruising confrontation between officers in riot gear and bystanders.

Until Sept. 11, the secret monitoring of events where people expressed their opinions was among the most tightly limited of police powers.

Provided with images from the tape, the Police Department's chief spokesman, Paul J. Browne, did not dispute that they showed officers at work but said that disguised officers had always attended such gatherings - not to investigate political activities but to keep order and protect free speech. Activists, however, say that police officers masquerading as protesters and bicycle riders distort their messages and provoke trouble.

The pictures of the undercover officers were culled from an unofficial archive of civilian and police videotapes by Eileen Clancy, a forensic video analyst who is critical of the tactics. She gave the tapes to The New York Times. Based on what the individuals said, the equipment they carried and their almost immediate release after they had been arrested amid protesters or bicycle riders, The Times concluded that at least 10 officers were incognito at the events.

After the 2001 terrorist attacks, officials at all levels of government considered major changes in various police powers. President Bush acknowledged last Saturday that he has secretly permitted the National Security Agency to eavesdrop without a warrant on international telephone calls and e-mail messages in terror investigations.

In New York, the administration of Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg persuaded a federal judge in 2003 to enlarge the Police Department's authority to conduct investigations of political, social and religious groups. "We live in a more dangerous, constantly changing world," Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly said.

Before then, very few political organizations or activities were secretly investigated by the Police Department, the result of a 1971 class-action lawsuit that charged the city with abuses in surveillance during the 1960's. Now the standard for opening inquiries into political activity has been relaxed, full authority to begin surveillance has been restored to the police and federal courts no longer require a special panel to oversee the tactics.

Mr. Browne, the police spokesman, said the department did not increase its surveillance of political groups when the restrictions were eased. The powers obtained after Sept. 11 have been used exclusively "to investigate and thwart terrorists," Mr. Browne said. He would not answer specific questions about the disguised officers or describe any limits the department placed on surveillance at public events.

Jethro M. Eisenstein, one of the lawyers who brought the lawsuit 34 years ago, said: "This is a level-headed Police Department, led by a level-headed police commissioner. What in the world are they doing?"

For nearly four decades, civil liberty advocates and police officials have fought over the kinds of procedures needed to avoid excessive intrusion on people expressing their views, to provide accountability in secret police operations and to assure public safety for a city that has been the leading American target of terrorists.

To date, officials say no one has complained of personal damage from the information collected over recent months, but participants in the protests, rallies and other gatherings say the police have been a disruptive presence.

Ryan Kuonen, 32, who took part in a "ride of silence" in memory of a dead cyclist, said that two undercover officers - one with a camera - subverted the event. "They were just in your face," she said. "It made what was a really solemn event into something that seemed wrong. It made you feel like you were a criminal. It was grotesque."

Ms. Clancy, a founder of I-Witness Video, a project that collected hundreds of videotapes during the Republican National Convention that were used in the successful defense of people arrested that week, has assembled videotape of other public events made by legal observers, activists, bystanders and police officers.

She presented examples in October at a conference of defense lawyers. "What has to go on is an informed discussion of policing tactics at public demonstrations, and these images offer a window into the issues and allow the public to make up their own mind," Ms. Clancy said. "How is it possible for police to be accountable when they infiltrate events and dress in the garb of protesters?"

The videotapes that most clearly disclosed the presence of the disguised officers began in August 2004. What happened before that is unclear.

Among the events that have drawn surveillance is a monthly bicycle ride called Critical Mass. The Critical Mass rides, which have no acknowledged leadership, take place in many cities around the world on the last Friday of the month, with bicycle riders rolling through the streets to promote bicycle transportation. Relations between the riders and the police soured last year after thousands of cyclists flooded the streets on the Friday before the Republican National Convention. Officials say the rides cause havoc because the participants refuse to obtain a permit. The riders say they can use public streets without permission from the government.

In a tape made at the April 29 Critical Mass ride, a man in a football jersey is seen riding along West 19th Street with a group of bicycle riders to a police blockade at 10th Avenue. As the police begin to handcuff the bicyclists, the man in the jersey drops to one knee. He tells a uniformed officer, "I'm on the job." The officer in uniform calls to a colleague, "Louie - he's under." A second officer arrives and leads the man in the jersey - hands clasped behind his back - one block away, where the man gets back on his bicycle and rides off.

That videotape was made by a police officer and was recently turned over by prosecutors to Gideon Oliver, a lawyer representing bicycle riders arrested that night.

Another arrest that appeared to be a sham changed the dynamics of a demonstration. On Aug. 30, 2004, during the Republican National Convention, a man with vivid blond hair was filmed as he stood on 23rd Street, holding a sign at a march of homeless and poor people. A police lieutenant suddenly moved to arrest him. Onlookers protested, shouting, "Let him go." In response, police officers in helmets and with batons pushed against the crowd, and at least two other people were arrested.

The videotape shows the blond-haired man speaking calmly with the lieutenant. When the lieutenant unzipped the man's backpack, a two-way radio could be seen. Then the man was briskly escorted away, unlike others who were put on the ground, plastic restraints around their wrists. And while the blond-haired man kept his hands clasped behind his back, the tape shows that he was not handcuffed or restrained.

The same man was videotaped a day earlier, observing the actress Rosario Dawson as she and others were arrested on 35th Street and Eighth Avenue as they filmed "This Revolution," a movie that used actual street demonstrations as a backdrop. At one point, the blond-haired man seemed to try to rile bystanders.

After Ms. Dawson and another actress were placed into a police van, the blond-haired man can be seen peering in the window. According to Charles Maol, who was working on the film, the blond-haired man is the source of a voice that is heard calling: "Hey, that's my brother in there. What do you got my brother in there for?"

After Mr. Browne was sent photographs of the people involved in the convention incidents and the bicycle arrests, he said, "I am not commenting on descriptions of purported or imagined officers."

The federal courts have long held that undercover officers can monitor political activities for a "legitimate law enforcement purpose." While the police routinely conduct undercover operations in plainly criminal circumstances - the illegal sale of weapons, for example - surveillance at political events is laden with ambiguity. To retain cover in those settings, officers might take part in public dialogue, debate and demonstration, at the risk of influencing others to alter opinions or behavior.
Skip to next paragraph Multimedia

The authority of the police to conduct surveillance of First Amendment activities has been shaped over the years not only by the law but also by the politics of the moment and the perception of public safety needs.

In the 1971 class-action lawsuit, the city acknowledged that the Police Department had used infiltrators, undercover agents and fake news reporters to spy on yippies, civil rights advocates, antiwar activists, labor organizers and black power groups.

A former police chief said the department's intelligence files contained a million names of groups and individuals - more in just the New York files than were collected for the entire country in a now-discontinued program of domestic spying by the United States Army around the same time. In its legal filings, the city said any excesses were aberrational acts.

The case, known as Handschu for the lead plaintiff, was settled in 1985 when the city agreed to extraordinary new limits in the investigation of political organizations, among them the creation of an oversight panel that included a civilian appointed by the mayor. The police were required to have "specific information" that a crime was in the works before investigating such groups.

The Handschu settlement also limited the number of police officers who could take part in such investigations and restricted sharing information with other agencies.

Over the years, police officials made no secret of their belief that the city had surrendered too much power. Some community affairs officers were told they could not collect newspaper articles about political gatherings in their precincts, said John F. Timoney, a former first deputy commissioner who is now the chief of police in Miami.

The lawyers who brought the Handschu lawsuit say that such concerns were exaggerated to make limits on police behavior seem unreasonable. The city's concessions in the Handschu settlement, while similar to those enacted during that era in other states and by the federal government, surpassed the ordinary limits on police actions.

"It was to remedy what was a very egregious violation of people's First Amendment rights to free speech and assemble," said Jeremy Travis, the deputy police commissioner for legal affairs from 1990 to 1994.

At both the local and federal level, many of these reforms effectively discouraged many worthy investigations, Chief Timoney said. "The police departments screw up and we go to extremes to fix it," Chief Timoney said. "In going to extremes, we leave ourselves vulnerable."

Mr. Travis, who was on the Handschu oversight panel, said that intelligence officers understood they could collect information, provided they had good reason.

"A number of courts decided there should be some mechanism set up to make sure the police didn't overstep the boundary," said Mr. Travis, who is now the president of John Jay College of Criminal Justice. "It was complicated finding that boundary." The authority to determine the boundary would be handed back to the Police Department after the Sept. 11 attacks.

On Sept. 12, 2002, the deputy police commissioner for intelligence, David Cohen, wrote in an affidavit that the police should not be required to have a "specific indication" of a crime before investigating. "In the case of terrorism, to wait for an indication of crime before investigating is to wait far too long," he wrote.

Mr. Cohen also took strong exception to limits on police surveillance of public events.

In granting the city's request, Charles S. Haight, a federal judge in Manhattan, ruled that the dangers of terrorism were "perils sufficient to outweigh any First Amendment cost."

New guidelines say undercover agents may be used to investigate "information indicating the possibility of unlawful activity"- but also say that commanders should consider whether the tactics are "warranted in light of the seriousness of the crime."

Ms. Clancy said those guidelines offered no clear limits on intrusiveness at political or social events. Could police officers take part in pot-luck suppers of antiwar groups, buy drinks for activists? Could they offer political opinions for broadcast or publication while on duty but disguised as civilians?

Mr. Browne, the police spokesman, declined to answer those questions. Nor would he say how often - if ever - covert surveillance at public events has been approved by the deputy commissioner for intelligence, as the new guidelines require.


When I was young lad in primary school I had a voracious appetite for knowledge.One of my happiest days during that period of my life is when my dad bought two collections of encyclopedias; The Book of Knowledge and Encycopedia Americanna.
On some days when I was home from school and tired of raising hell and beating up my smaller brother and sister I would read those large volumes.My favourite entries were those concerning Greek mythology and the vast number of players in the pantheons' varied schemes.I will not even begin to go into my favourite stories and characters but there is one character whom I remember.....Achilles.
Achilles was the son of the mortal Peleus and the Nereid Thetis.For your information a nereid was one of the daughters of the sea god Nereus.Anyway moving on there were two versions about how Achilles gained his fabled invincibilty.In the earlier version, Thetis anointed the infant with ambrosia and then placed him upon a fire to burn away his mortal portions; she was interrupted by Peleus, whereupon she abandoned both father and son in a rage. Peleus placed the child in the care of the Centaur Chiron, who raised and educated the boy. In the later version, she held the young Achilles by the heel and dipped him in the river Styx; everything the sacred waters touched became invulnerable, but the heel remained dry and therefore unprotected.
If you have watched the movie Troy you will notice that the second version is the lynchpin of the story.Also of note is the fact that in the movie that his mother is the one whom is human or is potrayed as having a human body.But what other way is there to make a conceited,merciless and unstoppable warrior human but to give him a mother.With his mother he ceased to be death's right arm but became a man.Achilles was destined to fight in the war against Troy and this had been told to his mother by the seer Calchas.She knew if he fought in this war that he would be slain.So his mother sent him to be raised at the court of Lycomedes disguised as a girl.But even as a child the warrior begin him began to rise and he was fascinated with swords and shields.This fascination led to him being tutored by Phoenix, during which he formed a close relationship with Patroclus.
Back to the situation at hand and the crux of this post.When Achilles seeks his mother's advice or could be blessing before the war, Thetis tells him of the two paths that lay before him.He could choose to refuse to go to war, marry and raise a family.If he did so he would be comfortable but his name would only live as far as the lips of his grand children before being obscured by the mists of time or he could choose to go to war where indeed he would meet his end in battle but his in the act of slaying enemies in biblical propotions his name would never die and would live on the lips and in the minds of men and women for thousands of years to come.
As a boy who read the myth and a man who watched the movie both you and I know what path he chose.What I am coming to is that many of us are chosen for some form of greatness that may involve sacrifice.It may not be the ultimate sacrifice but it may be those things that everyday men and women strive for; jobs,money,marriage,family etc.What I wonder is that how many of us are willing to ignore these things and seek out the greatness universe may have ear marked us for?I must admit that the more time I spend in meditation the clearer these things become but like most human beings the weakness and the temptations of the flesh tend to dictate what path I follow and not the strength or clarity of the spirit within.One of my New Years resolutions is to spend at least 5 minutes a day in meditation.Many of us either wallk our lives looking at the ground or looking at the sky, I intend to live mine looking straight ahead........

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


mile·age also mil·age
1. Total length, extent, or distance measured or expressed in miles.
2. Total miles covered or traveled in a given time.
3. The amount of service, use, or wear estimated by miles used or traveled: This tire will give very good mileage.

I took a look at the last few posts that I have made and I noticed one thing.Kumeharibika!Right now I hardly have a schedule and I am sorely lacking when it comes to external stimuli.I looked at yesterday's post and I was like urghhhh!I have to admit it was far worse then Mutumia's all over the place post.
Anyway let's look at this mileage thigie.Oh this sound juicy!Quotes from a forum Kenyans out here like and some KBW comments.Then we'll see what mileage means.

Like someone just girls seem to have high mileage!

Its like you got repossed,auctioned to the highest bidder,used and now you headed straight for the junk!!!!!!

lets kill this thread.let the damu go and be shagged.she will be back although she will have high mileage

when we decide that we want to settle down and stop hanyaring we go get a nice chaste church gal with minimal mileage - Aco 2005!

But on the other hand, no-one wants to buy a shoe that everyone has been wearing for free,why buy the cow when everyone has been drinking the milk for free? -tosses another grenade sprinting away in glee- Aco 2005!

But aside from that, mileage is just a wrong way to look at things, arent those shoes self-healing or something - its not like there is 'tear and wear' involved in doing the deed - Ok, I may not have had any for a while, but I am still fighting.
Oh, does DIY count as tear and wear?
What if someone was gay and 'turned' straight, is there mileage countable?
What if you have had two lovers, but did it three times a day for the last five years, does that count as mileage?
I realise I an in a Questionable mental state, but damn, I cant seem to stop making up things :)
- Guess 2005!

@Guess: We wacha! DIY doesn't count!!! The odometer would break mami! I think it's all so arbitrary it's almost meaningless- I mean- what if I slep with Kamau then Otieno- then went back to Kamau- does that count as 2 or 3 men? What if I was in a three some with Kamau and Otish? Is that one man or two? What if I was in another state and used a fake name? eh? Does that count? - Mutumia 2005!

DIY is maintenance.Gay turning straight?Mileage is mileage whether the car was driven forward or in reverse.As for the effects of wear and tear there are some chics whom popular opinion/consensus has shown have been round the block so much that it 's like throwing a coin into a corridor when it come to the you know what.Hence the brisk sales of things like virginity soap.- Aco 2005!

This mileage biz has been discussed ad nauseum- Its weird though,this self-healing issue, seems to only apply to jamaaz. - Medusa 2005!

But then I get alarmed when a girl knows more than 6 men -in the biblical sense- within a 10 mile radius of her residence. It is in bad taste, it breaks the rules it is bordering on incest or something like that. Not that is is immoral or anything but it becomes logistically complicated when you meet at the checkout with all of them at the local supermarket.but I still wonder why virginity soap is such a hit kwanza the tunnel is not supposed to have chemicals introduced as you might end up with funny conditions....
the free shoe analogy, plus mileage self healing hihihi... people need prayers here.
- Prousette 2005!

@ Ms K
Also the diff permutations you and Guess have come up with are on a level of their own!One man/multiple encounters,2 men multiple encounters,3somes,aliases.What are ya'll going to come up with next?Orgies???
- Acolyte 2005!

This was one of the most interesting exchanges in KBW history.So according to me there are several conclusions.Mileage is counted in terms of partners and not encounters.One mile for a chic is equivalent to 0.25 miles for a guy, since we are hardier and are are not subject to the same stringent rules of examination.If you are a guy or a gal and when you go to your local supermarket or bar and meet more then 5 people you have slept with, you are a hoe!As a chic the more mileage you have, the less desirable you are as a marriage partner.Also gals are each others worst critics and a gal will not hesitate to reveal another gal's track record if it will help her win the guy the are fighting over.Oh much like used car salesmen no-one reveals the full extent of their mileage.Self service does not count as mileage it is more like maintenance.Please note that all orifices used to consumate the act count to total mileage,so some of you have much higher mileage then you think (substitution still counts).Last but not least Men self but women wear don't (sorry Guess).
Why do I have the feeling that I am not done with this post?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


When I was back home it was a weekend ritual to watch an EPL game at my pal's place or at the pub depending on which clique I was hanging with.Very few sports have the artistry and beauty of soccer but that is the material for another day's post.
Today I want to talk about the games' platitudes.There are over 800 of them but I'll just gloss over a few that come to mind.
He's put it in Row Z!- What this means is that since Row Z is the last topmost tier of the stadium; that the player in question has cleared or shot the ball way off target and out of bounds.
"Welcome to the Premiership,fill in foreign player's name here."- Usually offered when a foreign player receives his first bone crunching tackle in a league game.
It's in the back of the net - When a goal has been scored.Where is the front of the net?
They defended like lions- To defend valiantly.Since when did lions defend?
He's hit the woodwork! - This refers to when a player hits the post.We all know that the posts are not made of wood but they once were hence the out dated term.
He almost cut him into two!- Used to refer to a bone crunching tackle.
It's a game of two halves - Aren't all soccer games.This is used to refer to the fact that things could change in the second half.
He'll be sick as a parrot!- Usually means that a player will be disappointed about the result or his performance in the game.
He's got blistering pace - Well other then that fact that it refers to a player who can run rather fast I dont know how blisters figure in.
We just didn't turn up first half and were lucky to go in one down - Refers to when a team plays so badly that they may have as well not been on the pitch.
The celebrations were short-lived - This refers to when the opposition equalises almost immediately.
He's lost the dressing-room - When a manager seems to be unable to command his players respect.
He's got safe hands - Refers to a reliable goalkeeper.What are unsafe hands?Dangerous?
They bowed out with their heads held high - Refers to a team that gave their best performace but lost.Is it anatomically possible to do that though?
One for the cameras - Refers to a very flashy goal.
They ground out a victory - When a team has to work hard to win a game.
The score doesn't reflect the true result - Then what does?This is used when a team feels that despite being the better side on the pitch tactically they lost.
They have one hand on the cup - This refers to a team that is minutes away from winning a cup final.
I'll try digs some up later.Next journalistic cliches!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Political Systems for Idiots

Politics has never been my thing even though my major is deeply mired in such matters.So someone sent me this guide to simplify the major systems for me.Enjoy!

FEUDALISM: You have two cows.Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government
takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone
else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows.The
government gives you a glass of milk.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: Your cows are cared for by
former chicken farmers. You have to take care of the
chickens the government took from the chicken
farmers.The government gives you as much milk and eggs
the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows.The government takes both,
hires you to take care of them, and sells you the

: You have two cows. The government
takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is

PURE COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your
neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has
the most "ability" and who has the most
"need".Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any
milk,and the cows drop dead of starvation.

: You have two cows. You have to take
care of them, but the government takes all the
milk.You steal back as much milk as you can and sell
it on the black market.

PERESTROIKA : You have two cows. You have to take care
of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal
back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free"

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government
takes both and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes
both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors
decide who gets the milk.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them
sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't
do anything.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give
you two cows if you vote for it. After the election,
the president is impeached for speculating in cow
futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

: You have two cows. The
government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm
animals in an apartment.

neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

: You have two cows. One has actually
read the constitution, believes in it, and has some
really good ideas about government. The cow runs for
office, and while most people agree that the cow is
the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes
for her because they think it would be "throwing their
vote away."

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the
government regulates what you can feed them and when
you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them.Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other
and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires
you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows. The bank will not
lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any
cows to put up as collateral.

: You have two cows.Either you sell the
milk fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows
and kill you.

You sell one and buy a bull - and build a herd of

: You have two cows. You sell
three of them to your publicly - listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at
the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with
associated general offer so that you get all four cows
back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The
milk rights of six cows are transferred via a
Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells
the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed
company. The annual report says that the company owns
eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you
kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government
bans you from milking or killing them.

: You have two giraffes.The government
requires you to take harmonica lessons.

OLYMPICS-ISM: You have two cows, one American, one
Chinese. With the help of trilling violins and state
of the art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the
moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony
of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced
parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow
was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and
watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The
American cow wins the competition, severely spraining
an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a
multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The
Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by
Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears
about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot
and fast at its Beijing restaurant.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married,neuter all the bulls
and adopt a veal calf.

COUNTER CULTURE-ISM: Wow, dude, there's like... these
two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
your publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with the associated general
offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six
cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows
back to your listed company. The annual report states
that the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more.

AMERICAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You sell
one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the
2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows using Bioengineered hormones. You lobby an
ignorant Congress so as to make sure that you do not
have to label your milk products - even if they cross
state lines. You are surprised when one cow drops
dead, but you work out a deal so that you can sell it
to a renderer - and feed it back to your herd. Some of
the older second-cycle cows cannot be impregnated -
while others deliver twins - that have to killed and
sold for pitance as vealers... You spin an
announcement to the analysts stating you have
downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes

FRENCH CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You go on
strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch.
Life is good.

redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They
learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most
are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows. You engineer
them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an
hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATIONISM: You have two cows but you
don't know where they are. While ambling around, you
see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them
and learn you have five cows. You have somemore vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count themagain and learn you have 12 cows. You stop
counting cows and open another bottle ofvodka. You
produce your 10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months.
The Mafia shows upand takes over however many cows you
really have.

FLORIDA CORPORATIONISM: You have a black cow and a
brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote
for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some
people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out
how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from
out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.

NEW YORK CORPORATIONISM: You have fifteen million
cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader
of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

: Holy Cow! I'm the duly elected president of a
nation of sheep who believe anything that the
benighted news tells them, such as that my brother was
a well-experienced politician - somehow elected to the
Governorship of Florida, where due to some specially
original voting technology, we cowed the even more
specially qualified Vice-President by beating him at
creating new means for originating out-of-state
voters, with special ties to the war machine - that I
am particularly fond of milking, and then turning
around and selling them both new parts, new
technologies, and fuel to operate them with, while
creating not only new jobs, but new historical sound
bites as I offend those who worship sacred cows, and
feed others my most important product - really prime

Other Definitions needing attention:

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people
into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you
to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people
you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and
give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara
Streisand sings for you.

: You have two cows. The government takes one
and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative
to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.

COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for
hours to get it. By this time, it is expensive and

: You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell
both to support a man in a foreign country who has
only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

: You have two cows. The
government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk
down the drain.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Put up or shut up!

ac·tiv·ism:The use of direct, often confrontational action, such as a demonstration or strike, in opposition to or support of a cause.
I am sick and tired of people calling themselves activists of any cause and doing next to nothing.Most of theirs so called activism is in terms of flapping their gums,token actions such as buying a red/pink ribbon once a year,setting up a blog/website/forum, attending public talks and seminars in prominent hotels where they rub shoulders with other glory hounds.
True activists are people like the Maasai lady who treks hundreds of miles fighting FGM.Those who in Rwanda and Burundi who went against their tribes and helped the besieged.People like Pro Wangari Maathai who put herself on the line for the environment for no reward for a long long time.The local neighbourhood priest who instead of acting like his vacuous counterparts on television offering viewers divine health and wealth in exchange for "love gifts" (bribes) but insteads works within his community offering advice,his time and prayer knowing that he can't promise miracles but he can promise his time and faith.
I could go on and on but I am sure that you all know such examples of people who either practice what they preach or dont even preach and let their actions do all the talking.So when you run around saying that you are an ______ist of any sort are you that in name only?So I know some of you are telling me not to judge coz I too may be judged.Well I am not judging but the Bible says that you shall know them by their fruit so here I am, your friendly neighbourhood fruit inspector.......
The Instigator

Friday, December 16, 2005


As you can see there is a new template up in here!I decided a change was due and since I had all this free time I decided to muck about with the blog.Ran into some really good templates but whenever I uploaded them there were so many glitches and since my comp skills end with html I decided to go with what was on the menu.
Otherwise I went to Barnes and Nobles today.This bookshop is a dream come true for any of you who fancy yourselves as literati.But there was still plenty to make a dilettante such as myself happy.I was there for 3 hours and I did not notice time fly.I did not buy any books coz you know how it is being a full time grad student; lots of knowledge but very little money!Anyway I am dead tired so here are some pics for ya'll to enjoy!

The braille Playboy was lauded by equal opportunity activists nationwide

No ashes in the ashtray!

With time Rover too benefited from the Information Highway

The Teddy Bear sheds his coat over summer......

Crushers and crushees

Just hit 250 posts!There are few things in my life that I have committed to as long to as this blog usually I lose interest or use and move on.So that means that there must be something good coming from this blog even though I have to say more often then not I blog for myself as oppossed to many of you who are more altruistic in nature.
Anyway I went to the graduation bash of the cousin of the chic who is the room-mate of my aunt/sis (don't ask it's a long story).As usual I was the token something and in this case the token non Kaleo man but it wasn't so bad as Kaleos are more welcoming then our friends from the slopes when it comes to gatherings out here so it was alright.So I got to meet the proud graduate,everyone else and listen to one of the guys that I knew there wax long about politics and expound on some very flawed theories about human nature (yes they were flawed coz I could see the chasms in his train of thought) but I was not in the mood to correct him and since it was winter his huffing was warming the room.
Anyway as this was going on it seems that the sis of the graduand had her eye on me but I thought it was just the routine eye.So the guest of honor suggests that we get pics so I was cool with that me,my sis,niece and the rest pose take like 3 pics then the chic's sis insists on getting one with me and my sis and since she is in the middle insists that we put our hands around her waist and as that was happening behind the scenes she pushed my hand rather close to her ass.But I will admit that us men can be rather dim when it comes to taking cues so I dismissed it.
Since my niece had to be in school early the next day we had to leave so as we walk out the door and we say our good byes.Shortly she pops out and as we are walking away starts talking to her sis (btw:sound carries very far over a quiet winter night!) and asks her how I am connected to my sis as she knew her before.Anyway she insists on walking us to our ride even though we tell her coz of the cold she can spare herself.Then asks my sis "so when are you guys coming back?" all the while looking at me.Of course we gave the usual token answers then she hugs us all goodbye with my hug being a little extended not that I am complaining with the cold and all.Of course when we drove off I was dissed endlessly about my new crusher (no allusions to pain this is the one who has the crush), I hadn't brought it up and leaving it to the gals as they are much sharper at reading these cues then us jamaas.Many a man has thought he is a crushee (object of a crush) only to have his ego crushed!
Anyway the chic was not bad looking but on the other hand I wasn't drawn to her.She was what we used to say as "just there".What came to me is that why is it so rarely that the kind of people we find as hot or attractive have crushes on us?Why is it usually the kind of people whom more often then not see as friend material or on the extreme side as whack?Is this the universe's way of playing a joke on us?
Song of the morning:Common feat Mary J Blige - Come close to me

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

When rape is not rape

Rape:unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly,under threat of injury against the will or by deception of an individual or a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception.
Seems straight forward right?Anyone who does this should go to jail right?For the longest time possible?Especially if you prey on the young.Well guess what those rules don't apply if you are a woman.If you can't get laid by men your age or older you can always partake of the students that trusting parents placed in your care.Guess what the most you will get in most cases is house arrest and in some cases community service,ooooh what a strong deterrent!Here is a list of cases.Take a look and you will notice that the word rape appears only once.If this were happening in girl's schools with male teachers we would not hear the end of it but the matriarchy is on its' way here in West.So I'd better get used to it.If I ever have kids here I am sure as hell going to home school them!
For you women out there if you have been unable to get laid (despite the fact that is believed that men will sleep with anything in a skirt) become a teacher.That way you can have the cream of the crop before they get polluted by the world,at minimal cost (dates optional) and you get paid for it at the end of the month!!!!!And to think that they said that education was a boring career choice.....
The Instigator

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Fix is in!

The results are in one A and two Bs!The Acolyte has made the cut!After almost 4 years out of school that sure as hell isn't a bad show.Next semester the target is two As and one B!
This was one of my number one reads when I was back home.I want to see about getting a subscription here coz the American version is full of adverts like most American magazines with minimal content.What I liked about that magazine is that you would always learn something new after reading it unlike some of the crap that is sold nowadays in the name of magazine.
Now time to hit the skipping rope!I might not have access to a gym at the moment but that is no excuse for neglecting my body and morphing into a fat bastard.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Break the law and you shall be punished!

Instigator here, at least some people aren't afraid to put their foot down and apply the law even when it may not be seen as politically correct by some!See here.Credit to Mochalicious for the link.

Chasing A Dream

For some reason when I was bored I signed up for Yahoo! personals for fun.At the moment dating via the net is not a priority for me but I do love to read the personals that I am sent once in a while.One thing I have noticed is that so many people are looking for someone who will light some sort of fire in their heart or have some catacylismic meeting of souls you know like the stuff that you see in the movies or are the hallmark of romance novels.
I mean when did people start dreaming of a white night on a statuesque steed who'll come rushing in,slay their dragons and then take the damsel on his horse off to his castle where they have a beautiful wedding.What happened to letting love happen?Letting things take their course?What happens when you don't feel the butterflies that you felt when you first saw the person,do you walk away?It is about time people began realising that love is not a feeling but sustained committment because with the human condition when the desired sensation/condition is achieved it stops being the desired condition.That is why people can't stop taking drugs because they are always looking for the next high,a better feeling then what they have now.Feelings are merely electrical impulses on nerve endings, here one second and gone the next.
One thing that I admire with our parents generation, much as we feel that we are better off then them is the fact that many of them started off as friends before they became lovers and confidantes.Many of us both men and women sometimes miss out on love because we often overlook what is so near us as we wait for some flawless Mr/Mrs Perfect.I do agree that it is possible that the person you seek may not be in your immediate environs but when you here everyone asking where they can meet people you get the impression that we live in a sparsely populated world where member of the opposite gender don't get to see each other and interact at all.Why do we seek someone without spot or blemish yet we are unwilling to confront our own.You want a Prince Charming but are you willing ask yourself are you Cinderella or one of her sisters?
My dad and mum lived in a one room house when they first hooked up and my mum actually supported my dad for a year or so as he was in Law school.He later on graduated got employed and eventually started his own practice.How much of us can admit having that patience and heart to start from so far behind?From what I have heard not too many of us.We have become so unwilling to compromise on what we want, we expect that the person we are meant to love should look a certain way,come from a certain place,do certain things and have certain things.When that does not happen we say no and continue our search not knowing that there are others whom we desire who are doing the same to us.We have been raised in an instant generation where we everything comes ready done and is one phone call or e-mail away.So we expect to be able to get a better half at a moments notice and to fit in with our schedule,we expect that since we are now done with school, have gotten the good job,own house and car; that now a partner should magically appear to fall in with our schedule.The bible talks about their being a time for everything but unfortunately the universe does not always follow our time schedule, your time for love and the chosen one may have passed you by when you were busy chasing after other things.May the Gods be kind and spare most us the dispair that comes with mourning what may have been and what we could have had and leave us in blissful ignorance chasing the winds of passion,sentiment and fervour feeling their brush our souls......

Though my lover lives in the sun's caress,
I seek her here in this dreamless lake,
where I suffer it's cold embrace,
wondering why the darkness has nothing to give,
she lives above and I below,
where's water's call is to nights of solitude.
I wish for that she were here,
to breathe life into this languid sea.
And so i cringe and crawl under the waters heavy blankets,
into a sleep without dreams,
mercifully blinded to her image,
in the sorrow-filled arms of the ocean.

Sunday, December 11, 2005


Instigator here again.Frankly I think that Christmas is a load of crap!Jesus must be feeling very uncomfortable on his cloud when he sees what has been done with the spirit of Christmas.It gets even worse when you are out here in the West.We have all these silly song and dance ads on,Coke has a stupid ad where polar bears and penguins are drinking Coke together (yeah like any bear is going to turn down some juicy penguin flesh for a damn coke!)and don't let me get started on the damn jeweller's ads ie Kays Jewwelers ads (show you love to here with a -fill in obscene amount of cash here).Exactly why should any man be required to show his love for a women by buying a diamond ring or some other piece of worthless overpriced price fixed jewelry?I hope the artificial diamond producers put these clowns out of business.
Then all of sudden this is when some people become conscious of the underpriviledged around them.This is when you want to give to the poor around you turkeys and toys, unless they can eat that turkey for one whole year and those toys can transform into jobs and housing all you are doing is lip service.Oh well you gotta be able to sleep at night after your spending spree,gluttony and drinking.As people here spend endlessly they forget that their are credit card bills that will have to be paid hence the large number of bankrupcies declared in January and all those drunkend and wanton trysts have consequence hence the large number of unplanned children born in August.
Oh well lest I be seen as a scrooge there are some excellent links to raise the Christmas cheer that I found here and here!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Good girlfriend=bad wife,Good wife=bad girlfriend

I have decided to let the Instigator take the place of the Acolyte today.This post is just a different perspective of Mutumia's post Virginity or something like it.In that post what came up was the issue of how it seems ok for men to sleep around and their repuations do not suffer as badly as that of women while on the other hand let when a chic has let a few too many cars in her tunnel (Acolyte ™ 2005 ).She is branded a langa and all other sorts of epithets.
Anyhow I was chatting to a chic I used to work with and she is what you would call a chaste church chick (Nick ™ 2005).The kind of gal you could take home to meet mummy.We used to go to the same church in my churchgoing days and she would teach Sunday school in addition to being on the intercession team.This gal is so modest that she always wears skirts (no jeans) even when she goes for tennis lessons she wears a tracksuit no short tennis skirts for her.She is also pro family (likes kids),plays by the "rules" when it comes to courtship,hardworking (she's on her phd now) and is anti premarital sex.So when I was chatting to her and we came to how she has realised that to many jamaas she is good wife material but bad girlfriend material (if you arent a church jamaa that is).This is because this gal doesnt do many things that the kawa jamaa enjoys doing with his boys and some gals such as catching pints,smoking,watching EPL/NFL,listening to secular music (she loves gospel mpaka her sis used to sing on sing and shine!),discussing (we men don't gossip!) and other stuff that is so kawa for us.Most of us men don't mind dating and catching strokes with chics who drink like fishes,swear like sailors and dress like hoes ( okay not that extreme but you know what I'm getting at ).Men love to date kinda risque,exciting women but when it comes to settling down most of us will opt for a gal who looks nuturing,responsible,family oriented and can take care of our home.By the way this reminds me of a story, There is this pal of our crew; he was like 2 years ahead of us in high school.Now this jamaa went on the rave and met this chic.Very fly,outgoing,enjoyed her pints and was the life of the party.So what could have been a one night stand or CFA turned into a relationship and despite warnings ( PSAs coz u can never doubt the mind misting abilities of good shag ) the pal went ahead and married the chic.So dude thinks that now that they are married they can settle down at digs and club less?Wapi!This chic used to leave the dude food in the oven as she has gone to club/bar hope with her single mamas to add insult to injury this mama was doing a McJob (job that doesnt have upward prospects and brings in minimum wage) and had no intention of working on that.Raha and fun had to come first.So later down the line a kid comes into the equation.So one day I was with the boys in one the many Westlands bars catching pints and the chic is still there life of the party with some jamaa darting her (wedding ring not withstanding ) when we see the hubby come in, they had a blazing row and it seems the chic had left the kid who was only a few months old at home alone.The hubby caused and she told him "When you hooked up with me you knew I was a chic of the clubs!Did you think I would stop because we are married?!"At that point we shook our heads and a word of wisdom came from my pal who was mostly known for hard hitting tackles on the rugby pitch,"When I get married I am going to hook up with a chic of Kanisa!" to which we all agreed as we continued drinking, or as one of my pals said "What is found in the rave stays on the rave!".I will give my own personal opinion I been with chics who are the bomb to hang out with.good strokes,storo etc but they don't have a hope in hell when it comes to long term prospects.Some of them had no plans past next month while I have a 5 year plan,have the housekeeping skills of a four year old boy,will serve you 3 burnt offerings in the name of breakfast/lunch/dinner,have illegitimate brats (yes I'm going there!),have emotional baggage,too much drama coz of too many past boyfriends,act like money burns a hole in their pocket so are always broke and expect you to fix it; And there are women who have all these problems as one person (sheesh).Men can over look all many of those qualities in the short term!!We dont mind having you as our short term if you have mileage and some of these issues but we don't want them in the LONG TERM!!!This is not to say that you will not find a triple C who has some of these problems but all in all most of them carry less.And yes many men me included are ready to sacrifice Kama Sutra strokes for what some of those triple Cs bring coz after all you spend very little time in bed but lots of time living with the person so you dont want all those other issues cropping up.Yes this rule is not ironclad because there are good girlfriends who make good wives and and vice versa. -Grenade #1-As for jamaas hoeing around and expecting their chics to be chaste, what we expect is for a select number of you to hoe around as much as possible and then for the rest of you to be chaste so we can settle down in peace.Please refrain from profanity as you disregard and protest the hypothesis above!
Grenade #2 "Let the games begin!!!!"-Instigator dons breastplate of superciliousness,helmet of erudition and grabs sword of resolution-Let's begin the weekend on a fun note shall we!

Interesting combos

Since it is the end of the sem and I am off to ATL I cant buy too much perishable food as it will spoil in the fridge and also I am out of food so I have been reduced to living on 1 take out meal a day and the most interesting food combinations I can cook up.This takes me back to the most interesting combis I used to have when I was doing my undergrad deegree and when I would use money for food on more important things like beer,clubbing,electronics and flossing.Here are my top combos:
1.Weetabix and water:No the weetabix was not mixed with water.It was sprinkle sugar on the weetabix biscuit in my hand take a bit and wash it down with water so I don't cook.
2.Supa loaf and quencher orange juice:Worked for both breakfast and dinner.That bread was so good that you could eat it alone!
3.Supa loaf and cold Coke:When there was a little extra spending cash!
4.Coke and Britannia biscuits:In campo we had departmental meetings.If you were smart enuff you could make off with a whole box.As a result to this day I cant eat more then one Britannia or short cake biscuit.
5.Ugali and Maziwa Mala (sour milk):Just add sugar to the milk and it works pretty well.
6.Chapati and Coke:Seems Coke is showing up alot here!Well its a good mixer.This combo worked for all occassions.
7.French fries and chapati:A wonderful combination.Damn I miss chapos any gals around who can make some for me I will gladly pay for shipping and handling!
8.Crisps (potato chips) and ketchup:When fries aren't available you gotta make due!
9.Carrots and water:I enjoy eating sweet raw carrots they make for a healthy breakfast
10.Ndumas (arrow roots)/sweet potatoes and water:The role of water in this instance was to make sure that you dont choke to death.
11.3 minute noodles:This doesnt sound unusual?Well I used to eat them raw when pressed for time.The soup mix was good for making something extra to drink before bed.
12.Cold bread and Tusker Malt:We were stranded in Naivasha once and we had outstayed our welcome so as we waited for our ride that was like 8 hours late some mamas took pity on us and gave us some hard frozen bread.Beer was the only thing that could prevent it from doin irreperable damage to our throats.
13.Baked beans:These in case of a pinch can be eaten on their own at any time of day.
14.Cold rice and water/strong tea:What you had for supper can always be had for breakfast too!
15.Bachelors banquet:When you take any of the ingredients above put them in a pan,toss in onions,tomatoes,spices,heat then simmer for a while.May resemble the contents of a witches cauldron but usually taste so much better.
Ah the good old days of uni!But when I left uni I got some plausible cooking skills so ladies do not fear if you are my guest I will not cook you something that will overtax and destroy your stomach fluids thus leaading you to have to revert to the diet of a 3 year old as your digestive system reconstitutes itself.
ps:Just remembered all the fruit combos!

Thursday, December 08, 2005


I have just been looking at some of my comments on other people's blogs and posts on my blog.It seems that I come off in different ways to different people take all the different ists and place them here.All I can say is that I am a very complex person at heart.One thing about me is that I do love playing the devils's advocate!I will argue to the death against something out of the principle of it.But and this is a big but I will also argue if I feel that it goes against what I hold near and dear to me.That given when I argue with someone I always try to keep it impersonal, I try to keep any differences of opinion civil and not go buckwild style.I hardly ever lose my temper coz I believe in constructive anger.Whenever I comment against something in your blog I more often then not try to do it from a logical set point and not take cheap shots that is unless you start first.That is why if you go through my comments where I have started a fire you will rarely find comments like "It's people like you who.....,"Besides when you get angry at someone you cant see or interact with it is of no help coz while I log off and go to my apartmet and roll on the carpet, so it doesn't help anyone least of all you.If I do argue or have a difference of opinion with you on your blog that's all it is.At the end of the day I aim to make you be able to articulate your beliefs and grow stronger in them or even discard them if you find them wanting.I am a strong believer in the fact that you don't know what you believe in until you can articulate it fully.So whenever I visit your blog (ya'll know yourselves ) it's a give and take process.I learn a little from you,you learn a little from me.If it doesn't work out that way I guess I get to play the villain on your blog bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am done with my last final but before I talk about that to you Manure United ( Man U ) fans out there BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!And to think that you were once calling yourselves one of the greatest teams in Europe.right now Manure are 15m pounds out of pocket and no UEFA cup to boot.Anyway enough of that.I finished my last final today!!!I know that I am going to pass but not as well as I could have but I will not dwell on that dont wanna spoil my evening.I made the mistake of putting my heinikens in my stuff that I gave my sis to take to ATL so I only had one Corona that I had yesterday and now I am going to drink the lone Tusker that had starred in the pic some posts back.It seems there is a Kenyan jamaa coming here next sem that will be a welcome change coz I am tired of being bila Kenyan jamaa company.Let's just hope he is a lively whippersnapper I need some excitement up in here!
I was puttering around the net and I found this video.I dedicate it to nick.You need Quiktime to view it.
Oh I was talking to my good pal Lu as we were walking out of one of our exams and she tells me how she is tired of working full time and would like to get married so she can stay at home as a housewife.I told her that many a man would love to do the same thing but guess what, people would say that we are lazy.Besides I told her that her feminist sisters hadnt been campaigning for equal pay,good working conditions and that kinda stuff so she can stay at home.Lu isnt on her own there was an article in the NY times about how more and more gals in Ivy league universities are planning on putting marriage first and career a far far second.Good for them but what about the people who you locked out of those unis by taking their places who were going to use the knowledge they gained for research,jobs and other ways to boost the nation and society around them.I mean why waste your parents money,incur student loans and burn all that time if you aren't going to put that education to good use.You might as well have used that money to join a country club or something.People fought for you tooth and nail so you can have a chance to earn a living for yourself and gain knowledge that you could put to good use in society.And then you want to say that the PATRIACHY is dragging you down!!Pssshhhhh.....

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Smallville and stuff

Alexander Luthor!!!!!

One of my all time favourite shows is Smallviille.I have been watching it since season 1 when I was back home and I am still watching season 5 here.I have always been a Superman fan but I didnt like Lois and Clark which came before it.I like that Smallville concentrates more on the people as characters and less as props for the superman mythos.One of my favorite characters is..........Lex Luthor!!!!I knew ya'll thought I would say Clark Kent.At the show's beginning, Alexander Luthor is or was one of Clark's best friends who later on goes on to become his nemesis on the future.
Well other then the money and the class that he displays, what I like most about Lex is his slow development from a spoilt young man who has been expelled from college in the big city of Metropolis and instead of being given a place in his fathers multinational he is exiled to the rural town of smallville.When he loses control of his car and it runs over Clark sending them both over the adjascent railing into the lake it changes his life.Clark uses his super human strength to pull Lex from the car to safety.Following the accident (and a resultant near-death experience), Lex forges a friendship with Clark, believing they are meant to be friends. They grow very close, but cursed by an overwhelming curiosity, things start to take a turn as Lex digs deeper and deeper into the mysteries of Clark and his family to the extent of having a room dedicated to studying Clark and all the phenomena that he is involved in due to his alien heritage. Additionally, he grows to distrust Clark as Clark repeatedly lies to cover his true identity. Their personal interests are at odds, and began to erode at their friendship. Their bond is critically damaged in Season Three, when Clark discovers Lex has an entire room devoted to peculiarities relating to Clark.Clark was raised by his family to do what is good and right no matter the cost, Lex on the other hand has a dead mother and a father who had little time for him as a child and showed him liitle affection instead raising him to have qualities that made the Luthors of the past great such as duplicity,scepticism,opportunism and strategy.His extreme cruelty and inhumane actions cause Lex to grow paranoid of his surroundings, especially of anything that could be related to his father. Their relationship comes to a head in Season Three when Lex discovers his father is a murderer, and has him imprisoned. In the fourth season, Lex becomes consumed with trying to find the three stones that, when brought together, are reputed to release the knowledge of the universe. The search for these stones further destroys his relationship with Clark and his father, and pushes him further to the dark side.The series that was of note to me was in season 3 when the coming of Clark had been foretold by some native american myth and an old native american archeologist had identified Clark as the hero foretold after seeing his powers.This tale is potrayed on the wall of a cave on land that lex owns so he too is aware of it, the tele goes that a great hero shall come from the skies and that he will make friends with a man.This man will grow to be great and a time will come when they shall part ways and become great enemies.Lex tells the story to Clark and says that maybe it is the man who is actually the hero and not the hero from the skies ( I am a bit sketchy on the details )It also doesnt help the Lex also has some horrific things happen to him in the show like having a wife attempt to kill him on their honeymoon,being marooned on an island,being held prisoner by the evil in him made flesh,being poisoned by his own dad etc.Yes Lex may have the seed of evil in him but dont we all?Circumstances also play a part in making him who he becomes.
Anyway I think I am being verbose, what does this have to do with me.When I watch movies I dont always side with the good guy, there are times when I have been sad to see the villain die.Of course these are the villains who show themselves to be human and have weaknesses and angst and not the usual one dimensional villains who you want to see die at the end of a good fight scene.

Many times in my life I have thought that goodness is over-rated.Most of the time people get shitted on for doing the right thing, I have seen it happen over and over and over.One of my favourite sayings is "No good deed goes unpunished."
I have this knack of spotting weaknesses in systems and things.Several times in my life I have used this to my advantage ie figuring out how to get into uni classes even if they were full when I was doing my undergrad, I would tell you more but I don't want to see you sitting across me in a court of law.I can also think 3-4 steps ahead of most people when I set my mind to it.My mum once told me that if I wasn't raised well I would have been a crimingal mastermind.But unfortunately I do have a seed of goodness within me that I have been unable to eradicate so I still do have a conscience and strive to do the right thing most of the time.Sometimes I think that it would be so liberating to do what I want within the limits of the law.Oh I don't believe in doing wrong for the sake of doing it I am not anarchist but only when there is some benefit to be gained and when it comes a cost that you can handle.If light is absent does that mean that it is dark?Do you think being good or evil is a choice or are some things in us pre-destined?( 750 -1500 words due in by Jan 1st,2006)Anyway I think I have rambled enough good thing I had a stock of words from yesterday.......

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Traits of A Real Man

In the new millenium I have noticed that alot of what made a man a man have been redefined with the changing status of gender in this day and age.Things that were taboo for men and women in the past no longer are ie it is ok for men to wear some form of make up, cry, and go for facials; women can now take leadership roles with no problem whatsoever.I think to some extent that has been good as women on one hand have more freedom then they have a long time ago and doors that were once closed to them are now open.Sisters give yourselves a big hand.But on the other hand many men and boys are lost to whom they are and what they should be doing.This is a topic that can be examined in depth but seeing as I have a final to study for and have to find a way to conjure up a meal with a next to empty fridge I will give ya'll an article and will comment at intervals.
Traits of A Real Man

Today's lesson is a throwback to the good old days when school teachers still had a whip, and you were disgraced if you showed up at home with a "D" on your report card. Today is a lesson in basics; the basics of being a man. Let's call it Manhood 101 .

With all this knowledge I have at my disposal, you may be asking, "Mr. Mafioso, why waste your valuable time with trivial lessons when there are other, more powerful lessons I need to learn about business and respect?"


To build a great house, you need a strong foundation on which to put all the other pretty things. To build a great man, you also need a solid foundation on which to add all the other little things that set the real men apart from the stronzos .

Over the last few years of writing this little column, I've learned that too many men have no foundation, no basis on which to build the principles I teach. There are many ways to define a man, and different people have different definitions, so I'm going to skip all that crap and tell you the only thing you need to know: my way is the correct way and that's it, that's all. Capisce?

a real man reads

If you don't agree, go read the column of some guy from Arkansas who thinks owning a pickup truck is what defines a man. You'll see how far you get with his advice.
I agree with this whole heartedly!Remember when we were kids and dad knew almost everything?Also knowledge is power!You will never go anywhere if you don't know anything!

Trait #1: A real man is strong
A real man doesn't cry, doesn't moan, doesn't complain, doesn't get sick, and doesn't need to go to the doctor every time he sneezes. A real man makes decisions and lives with the consequences. A real man accepts responsibility for his actions and his words. A real man is firm. If life is a bitch, a real man will slap her and move on.

A real man is macho; a real man is tough; a real man doesn't show emotions. A real man is the backbone of his family and doesn't have time to be weak. If spiders scare you, you'll never be a real man.
Well I think that it is ok to be sick but not to moan about it!I do agree with the rest of what he has to say.It is ok to show emotions but not to cry.Unless someone really close to you dies a man has no business crying in public, if you must cry do it in private.People need a rock to lean on and it might be you....

Trait #2: A real man is focused
A real man knows the difference between what's important and what isn't. A real man doesn't waste time on stupidities that don't bring him any profit. Sure, there are things you can do as a hobby -- I like to shoot ducks -- but it must have a purpose. The purpose of my hobby is to improve my aim, and I don't have to tell you whether or not that's a useful thing in my line of work.

A real man focuses on power, money and family. He doesn't focus on sex. Sex comes as a result of having power, money and a wife (and if she doesn't satisfy you, there are plenty of other women who will, especially when you are powerful and rich).
Makes so much sense I am not even going to say anymore I may spoil it

Trait #3: A real man knows the importance of family
A real man will keep his family strong and pass on his ancestors' history and traditions. A real man knows that his children are God's gift and should be treated as such, even if he disciplines them from time to time.

A real man must also remember his other Family , his organization. In my world, both my family and my Family hold the same importance, I protect them both with all my might. If you have a Family , don't forget where your loyalties lie and who has your back when you need it.

Trait #4: A real man doesn't gossip
A real man keeps his mouth shut. He shelters information and rations his words. A real man does not reveal more than he has to, and doesn't engage in girlie talk about others. A real man doesn't discuss things he doesn't know about, or people he has never met.
A man after my own heart!I despise talking for the sake of talking.That is y I find it so hard here when I am in places and situations people act like silence is painful.Talk less and think more...

Trait #5: A real man's word is his bond
When a real man makes a promise, he keeps it. If he can't keep a promise, he doesn't give his word. A real man would rather die than break his word. A real man knows that his words are as powerful as his actions, and must be taken at face value. That is why he rations them (see above).
I agree with this 100% and practice it too!A pal who is all talk and doesn't do jack isn't worth the time of day.Your word is the most important thing you can give, if it isnt worth sh*t then you aren't worth sh*t!

Trait #6: A real man strives to be a role model
A real man respects himself and others at all times, unless, of course, he has been disrespected. A real man sets an example for his disciples and especially his children. I never bring my work home, so my children only know me as their father and not as a waste management executive. You should do the same; a real man sets the tone for his children and keeps them from discovering that he has weaknesses.
Well I agree with most of this but I think that once in a while a dad should show his kids that he has some weakness ( nuthin major ) so they know that he is human too.
Trait #7: A real man makes his own fortune
A real man doesn't settle for handouts or charity when it comes to his personal fortune. A real man isn't satisfied with papa's money. He spits on Lady Luck and decides his own destiny. A real man who inherits the goods from his forefathers takes his inheritance and turns it into 10 times what it was.
Too many people want to complain about their lot in life and do little about it
Trait #8: A real man doesn't look like a woman
A real man doesn't have piercings and long hair, and he doesn't shave his chest. Manicures, however, are acceptable. Massages from female attendants are also tolerated. A real man knows that, outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman.

A real man has at least three suits (with a mandatory pinstriped one) that cost more than a roomful of escorts. A real man wears a suit at least three times a week. Any man who doesn't know how to tie a tie should hand in his testicoli immediately. And learn how to order a bottle; I'm sick of seeing babbos ordering Colt 45 in fine establishments.
Well I am sure the end of the first para of that point hasnt pleased some of the gals so I am not going to comment on it.I dont believe in wearing a suit for the sake of wearing it so we disagree on that.As for wearing a tie I could tie a windsor know from when I was 6 and did so for a whole 12 years of school.When it comes to ordering wine there are on-line guides which I have read but I have never met a woman (other then my mum) worth taking to a 5 star restaurant...

lesson over

So what have you learned here today, class? You learned that you have a lot of homework to do before you can call yourself a real man. A real man is the essence of manhood because, by definition, he has achieved the pinnacle of his role.
You see? That was me trying to be a smart ass. Here's a bonus trait: a real man keeps it simple. If you know big words, use them rarely and appropriately, at least in front of morons who think they're smarter than you. Lesson over.

Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.
I think I will dig up some more of his stuff for post-mortem!

Monday, December 05, 2005


I have a secret to tell you.You know how some men like to read porn in the privacy of their own homes when their families aren't present?Well I have a worse habit.....I read comic books!Yes I have a stash of superman,spiderman,hulk,batman,spawn etc comic books in the back of my closet that I pull out to read once in a while when I am really bored of school,work and life in general.
There is this small card and comic book shop in the town so I decided to pass through it and see what they had.I hardly ever buy new comics coz I find the average price of $2.50 - $3.00 to much.I have better things that I could do with that amount of money.
Another secret about me, like most men I don't shop much but that all changes when I see words like "BUY ONE GET ONE FREE""40-50% OFF" and all other similar phrases.Coz of this I was at a sale at a sports shop and bought 2 pairs of the same boot, lets just say my pals wondered how come in 4 years my shoes never wore out at all.Anyway I go into the store and I see that the owner is having some sort of clearance and he is selling loads of comics at 50 cents each.So I went ahead and got myself comics worth $20 so at least now I can indulge my bad habit a little more.....
On Sunday I was invited by some pals to a house warming bash.As is becoming the case I am more often then not cast in the role of token black guy.But I really dont mind you learn to get to it.I mean here there are still some things that are "segregated" in some ways ie churches,heng joints.Okay I wouldnt say segregated per se I think that people just dont go out of their way to mix that much coz they still work together and will still go to the same public facilities like gas stations,walmart etc.Anyway I guess that's how it is in the deep south.Otherwise the company wasnt so bad and for hard liqour fans there was a lot of good stuff but I am more of a beer man so I drank in moderation.The thing with jungu dudes is that at some points lots of gay jokes and innuendo started flowing, and these dudes seemed straight coz one had his chic there and we were talking about chics and stuff like that.Like one dude who's standing up and the other seated tells his pal that he's going to molest his head and starts making thrusting motions at his head.Then another dude makes a comment about sucking someone else's dick.At some point when these innuendos were flowing I just told them point blank that there was no way I was getting wasted and blacking out in that house that I could wake up with all my hair shaved off.Then one of them adds that I would also wake up with an aching ass too.Btw we this wasnt an all guy bash their were some chics and its not all the dudes who were giving those stories but with such people jihadhari coz alcohol removes people's inhibitions.
ps:Any physics whizzes there who can tell me why I am a victim of static electric shocks at the most inopportune moments ie when I touch certain steel doorknobs and some electronics?I have been reduced to opening some doors with my hand wrapped in my sleeve.This makes me look like I have some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder going on?

Sunday, December 04, 2005


Seeing as Guess decided to talk about her different marriage proposals I got to ruminating on the issue and it came to me that marriage has little to offer anyone in this day and age.Companionship?Date someone, besides people have so much going on nowadays in terms of work,day to day tasks to take care of someone else's emotional well being full time.If you cant date get a dog or a cat, they're always glad to see you at the end of the day.Sex?Please people are shagging whenever and wherever, btw:seems some womens' libidos drop to zero after they taste that wedding cake, I wont even get started on how some people let themselves go once they have gotten marriage thus turning into some totally unappealing blimps and some men seem to take exception on having to live on bread alone.Financial security?Nowadays women dont need men to be financially secure they can make money and in some cases make even more cash then men.When you are single you have more money to use as you see fit, contrary to popular belief marriage doesnt equal more money just more bills.Children?They are no longer the status symbols they used to be, besides these are not the days of the past where people needed children to help on their farm, also have you noticed how in this day and age children are more of a liability then a source of joy.But if you must you can adopt or get a surrogate mother or visit a sperm bank.Divorce, nowadays people are in such a rush to run to their lawyer whenever any problem shows up in their marriage, dont let me get started on the emotional heartache and financial rape.
It is with this in mind that I think that marriage should be turned into an annual renewable contract with financial prenups included.If you are sick of the one you are with you can walk away.A doctor once said that married men live longer, may be true but they are also more willing to die.
ps: I owed my rommie $10 for the cable bill.Cable which I hardly watch and I dont have all the channels since I do not have a box on my telly.So I was not looking forward to having to go to the ATM to get the K, so I step out of my aparment and I look on the ground to my left and yes you guessed right!$10 dollar bill.Now time to start wishing for money to buy an I-pod nano!