Friday, March 10, 2006

Return of the hoe tales

Some time back I posted about the predictability of the Kenyan press.Every year without fail comes a point in time when they focus on the sex industry in Kenya.I think this happens when stories go dry.See the first story on stag parties and the other one on call girls and their clients.
What do ya'll think about the legalisation and regulation of the sex industry in Kenya?Should it be considered?Even though we know with all those christian hypocrites it won't go to far.Mhmmm hookers love men of the cloth because in addition to services they also pay for your silence.Talk about ministering to the faithful!
ps:I am going to AWOL for a day or two.Going to paint the town crimson, I can't afford red; too broke!

Moving up and down

Guess what?I am back in the big city!I think with all the moving up and down I have been doing lately my flatmates must be thinking that I am on the run.I got back in on Tuesday and come Thursday, I'm gone!
It was with all this moving up and down that I have realised that unlike my brother and sister I don't have very many clothes, not that I rewind my clothes alot though.ButI have to pick very carefully what I take with me whenever I am going to see them as I want my clothes to be equally spread at both joints.Seems the next time I get some cash I should gather some morale and visit that hideous place aka The Mall!
Anyway I have noticed that as men we usually make fun of women for the myriad contents of their handbags.I tend to be quiet at this point in time because of what I like to call my Man bag aka my Jansport Backpack that has served me since my 3rd year of uni (yeah we have gone through alot together!).
Anyway what is Aco carrying in his man bag?
1. One new chap stick aka lip balm.Who knows my tongue may tire of licking my luscious lips one day
2.1 comb.A baby afro is something you want to comb when you have to take your hat off in the gym
3.1 tube of Eucrin skin moisturiser.Gotta keep the skin moist
4.1 tube of Curel skin moisturiser.Just in case the Eucrin runs out.
5.A small bottle of 24 Aleve caplets.With all the idiots around here you have to be ready to ambush a headache!
6.1 toothbrush.Aco is always prepared when on the move, like now!
7.1 set of contact lenses.One of them is messed but who knows the other may come in handy.
8.3 pepcid antacid pills.Never know when this tripe they call food here will backfire on you.
9.7 assorted pens and biros.You know how stingy many peeps here are so its better to have your own pens as oppossed to borrowing.
10.5 sachets of sugar.May need them when the sugar in the office or at my place runs out
11.3 sachets of honey.Like a hungry spicebear I love honey as a snack, it' s healthy and it's free from the school coffee shop!
12.3 breathe mints. Always gotta stay fresh!
13.1 pack of Wrigley's Spearmint.See above
14.1 nail clipper.Gotta clip them talons when you can!
15.1 small bottle of Adidas cologne.Gotta stay fresh!Uusually interchanges with small tube of Axe roll on!
16.3 usb sticks.Always gotta carry my papers and do them on the many comps that I have.They also have important pics,software,music etc.Gotta be on point!
17.1 badge supporting AIDS prevention.Gotta spread the word!
18.2 pages of coupons to fast food joints.If I am going to eat junk I may as well get it cheap!
19.1 marc ecko balaclava.Who knows I may lose my hat and my comb!Gotta have back up.
And this is the front pocket only!That explains why it's been tearing on the side!Got to get me a needle and thread and deal with that asap!
In the main compartment of the bag these are the usual suspects.
1.Philips Mp3 player- While people here shield the world out with their cell phones I listen to my 1960 different tracks.
2.Mp3 charger - Battery power isnt infinite.
3.Nokia cellphone - Don't use it much but gotta keep in touch!
4.Big ass exercise book - Have all my course work and hand outs for this sem in this baby!That book intimidates me big time!
5.Assorted cds - Always carry some mp3 cds and empty cds with me.Been uploading some of my collection to my work machine and also backing up my collection.
6.Water bottle - This is for gym days.Have to stay hydrated!
7.Novel - If I carry a book around long enough I may get to reading it!
8.Packed lunch - Don't like the cafe food and I don't like eating out much!
9.Soda can - Only drink one a day!
10.Data cable - for when I want to update my mp3 player!
Believe it or not the only time my bag feels heavy is when I have my book in it (like a typical International Student I buy textbooks only when it is inevitable!).
So now that is why you never hear me poking fun at women with their hand bags coz my man bag is on a level of it's own but unlike chics all my stuff has a purpose.No old telephone numbers, crumpled photos, keep sakes from old dates and all the other stuff ladies carry in their bags that defies male knowledge.Plus when occasion dictates Aco can upgrade to cargo pants and become faster and more efficient!
ps:Any ideas of what else I could add to the man bag?Please keep weight to under 2 pounds (so no tents) and no drugs,alcohol and sexual parephenelia (I'm chaste remember!)

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Damn strikers!

It's now official!Liverpool strikers can't score in a whorehouse even if they robbed a mint!They couldnt hit the side of a barn even if they were in it!When the transfer window opens there are some people who need to be sent packing as soon as possible!

He may have been a hero at Real Madrid and Monaco but this spaniard has yet to reach a double goal tally in the two seasons he has been at Anfield.This plank is a shadow ofthe goal poacher he used to be, we need goals and we need them now!If he can't deliver it's about time he was put out to pasture!

Djibril Cisse

Mad props to him for his speedy recovery from an potentially career ending injury
and for his love for the club.But his attitude sucks!He expects the ball to be
delivered to his foot with as little hassle as possible, his first touch also leaves alot to be desired!Add to this the fact that he sulks when he is played out of position, is substituted or doesn't play.No-one can play all the time...apart from Carra and Stevie G.Enquiries from France about him have been coming so it's about time we cashed in this white elephant Houllier saddled us with!
Dishonorable mention-Djimi Traore:This guy is a penalty,own goal or free kick
waiting to happen, he is way too inconsistent!The blueshites (Everton) wanted him once, we shoulda sold him!
The rest of the team didn't play with as much heart as they could have but at least most of them do deliver but we still need more from playes like Peter Crouch and Garcia.I guess we have 2nd place and the FA cup to play for now!
ps:Mocha, when does you plane get in?I need a hug!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Interesting sounds

My MP3 player has almost 2,000 tracks on it.My musical tastes vary from Ray C to Ray Charles, Nonini to New Edition.Since I had to leave behind around 120 cds when I came to the States, actually I gave them to my ex-college room mate; I had to start rebuilding.With occasional access to peer to peer software I have been able to do quite a bit.I have some music in my collection that has always had most Kenyans I know saying WTF?!This is because most of it is music they have never bothered listening to at all, this covers half of what I listen to but I am going to focus on what I listen to that has them covering their ears while curled in the foetal positions whenver I turn up the music.My hard rock collection, Hard Rock here being a blanket term for alternative rock , punk rock, grunge, nu-grunge, punk metal, indie rock, thrash metal, industrial rock, geek rock, pop rock and the list goes on and on and on.
Anyway here is some of what I have in my collection at the moment.

Linkin Park

I am sure that after the Jay Z collabo (Numb/Encore), all of you know who these dudes are.According to me their best album was the first one.Their music is a good starting point into nu-metal for beginners.If you can develop a taste for them then you can get into stronger stuff.

Papa Roach

Also according to me a good starting point into nu-metal.Their best song according
to me is "last resort" that expresses the anguish of a young man who wants to
commit suicide but manages to overcome his demons.Some of the lyrics here:
Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took my life tonight, chance are that I might
Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying

And no this song actually prevented some teens from committing suicide...

Static X

Static-X is an American Industrial nu-metal band.I first heard their music on the Need For Speed Underground soundrack and also as on the Dracula 2001 soundtrack.I am not a fan of most of their work but they do churn out a gem once in a while.

Rammstein is a German electronic industrial metal/hard rock band.Their musical style, which they have dubbed Tanz-Metall ("Dance Metal"), incorporates elements of metal, industrial and electronic music. Their songs are performed almost exclusively in German. Rammstein is quite different from most bands due to their keyboard which plays elements of different kinds of instruments, helping to give their songs a "fuller" sound.The first time I heard them was on the Matrix soundtrack
with the song "Du hast."The Director of XXX who cast them in the first 10 mins of the
movie said this about their performance:
"I guess it was in 1997 I was going through Hamburg and I caught their [Rammstein's] show as they chased each other around with dildos spurting custard, the fire pots and all of that, this is a crazy band; they're very theatrical and exciting, but their music is very, very good and German; it's very interesting in terms of the energy it evokes."


The name says enough!I love the raw energy that this band has.Their music falls within the hard rock or metal category depending on who you ask.I have decided to
make one of their tracks the video of the week so do take a look.


Unlike what their name suggests they are not tone deaf, in fact their music is
pretty good!They don't all squarely in the nu-metal category and have alot of
alternative rock influence in their music.Their songs have very intelligent lyrics,
I recommend "change (in the house of flies) as an intro, 4 years down the line I
am still listening to that track.

Marilyn Manson

Of course you knew I couldn't leave him out.If you look past the hype and listen to
some of his lyrics he actually does have alot to say.I first heard him on the Matrix soundtrack, I can never forget his lyric in his song that was an observation of people today "God is in the TV" from his song Rock is dead.If you look at people
today TV as opposed to God dictates how they live their lives.I also like "fight music" and "beautiful people" from his other albums.


This nu-metal group are among the first who brought the genre to the forefront of
public awareness.They have done collabos with rappers like Ice Cube and have had their music featured on various soundtracks and tv programmes ie Tomb Raider:Cradle of Life.Their grammy winning video for the 1998 song "Freak on a Leash" is a must see!Lately EMI has paid Korn $25 million upfront in exchange for a share in the profits of their next two LPs, including tours and merchandising.Their latest video has been a masterstroke, the first single from See You On The Other Side was "Twisted Transistor," which featured a Spinal Tap-esque style documentary video where 4 of today's biggest rappers played the parts of Korn. Lil Jon played Jonathan Davis, Xzibit played Fieldy, David Banner played David Silveria and Snoop Dogg played Munky. The idea for the video came from the mind of singer Jonathan Davis who thought of it while in the Caribbean. Plans to turn the video into a full-length movie are in the works.So who says that metal is only for the white folk?
There are other "hard" bands that I do listen to but I feel that this post is long enough.I do like to vary
what I listen to coz "shake like you gon break it, roll is down slow, I'm the biggest
dog on the block, I'll hit your number one spot" and all those other lyrics that we
hear in rap/hip hop and pop get old.That's another reason that I dont listen to much
radio, you can only hear the same songs for so long!Anyway I had my dose of nu metal for the day now to listen to my trance,goa,dance,techno collection (post for another day )

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Goood Riddance!!!!!

It was about time Moaninho and Chelski were taught that cheque book management doesnt ensure victory!

Remember that when it comes to European Soccer; Form is temporary but class is permanent!

Monday, March 06, 2006


At last!Computer access!All in all I must say that the weekend wasn't so bad. Got to see the family again. On Saturday I went with some friends to Atlantic Station. It's a beautiful place (the word beautiful being an understatement!), it's one of those places you send people pics of you at; and everyone knows you're living large!Went to some great coffee bar, the only problem is that the company I was with were more into discussion (aka gossip about their fellow Kenyans ) then more stimulating conversation material.
Then jioni we went to a joint that sells nyam chom. Oh you know you are around Kenyans when there is always a kubaff who comes to "taste" some of your meat and ends up taking a seat. I also managed to do some shopping earlier on but I have a pre-set spending limit coz things may not go well on the farm and there's no relief food around these parts.
In the evening me and my pal went to a joint that Kenyans like.The crowd was small this time round but I was pretty worn out so I didn't mind. Saw some nice gals but I am sure they were the kind who can only be maintained during harvest season and not during the current planting season. But I did meet a good one for the future. Then some Kenyan men just have bad manners how in the hell do you pee in a wide open parking lot.Damn! If you gotta do it then look for a bush and hide. To make things worse the person doing this was a total baba, you know 40 and older. As we were hanging out I was told quite a few stories about the mingi drama and problems Kenyans are in, mpaka I was like I think I will just stick to my simple farm life and see if I can get one of our KBW gals to join me (hint,hint).
ps: I went to see Dave Chapelle's block party.It's pretty good, I highly recommend it!
pps: Why are so many Kenyans relocating to ATL environs from other states? This storos of going to Walmart, Kroger or taking some chic to the hair store and running into people speaking swa, kuyo,jeng and our other languages has become too much. I am going to the INS and telling them that the limit for Kenyans here has been surpassed.
pps2: I have found my fave cd of stock pics so now my blog can become a gift for those tired of looking at plain print.When I finished my last jobo in nai I compiled them from the collection I had picked!
pps3:This is so funny that I had to share: The Advice Columnist!
"Me and my roommate both use a dildo when we aren't having regular sex with a guy. When they get all nasty after a while, we just toss them in the dishwasher. Well, the other day my parents came over and when they saw the dildos in the dishwasher, they refused to have anything to eat or drink. Are they just being paranoid or what?" - Fiona, Little Neck, NY
Fiona,Even if you do clean your "toys" by putting them in the dishwasher, there is something off-putting about knowing that your cups and saucers are being cleaned along with a dildo. How difficult is it just to clean it separately? Do you keep your dildo in the same drawer with your knives and forks? Try and keep your toys a little less visible and you'll have less difficulty with other people.
KBW ladies please take this advice to heart.Never forget that Aco cares for you......