oh well

Damn I have a baby headache!You know a headache that has not grown up so is not as painful as a kawa headache.Some tests are coming up so I have to be hitting the books in style at this point in time and I have a prestentation come Monday.I have also decided to go cold turkey from blogs this weekend no visiting or blogging mpaka Monday so I have today and tommorrow to enjoy.
Here is a bad joke from a blog hater:
Blogebrity - This is for everyone who can blog.Take a blogger who is a chef and you have a BLEF!A blogger who is a dentist....BENTIST.A female blogger with an itch?yes you guessed it a BITCH!
-I can send you the link if you want to see him beat down on bloggers but he also rants about lots of other stuff. Anyway got to visit a site that had clips of Red Korna ( the show that was formerly known as Redykyulass ) so it was good to see some comedy from back home even though I was smiling alone in the lib like I had lost it.

Red Korna link

Hey if ya'll want to check out Red Koran I mean Red Korna.Oooops I see a fatwa on my head I am sorry bout that.Go to www.kenyans.org join the forum and browse the galleries.There are alot of pics there and videos I am sure some of you are up there!Enjoy the goodies speaking of which remember goody goody. Milonare this is all your fault!!!!!I am stuck in the past just wait I will get you!!!!!!!

I have lost it....part 2

Following the wonderful correspondence by ya'll here are more sound effects.
1.Remember days of peles (liners in bottle tops) and we used to unleash pahh!!! to make them turn over... We later styled up and used Mr Wam-puh-gu for the same effect... - Courtesy of milonare
2.Ama when your undie is stuck between buttchecks and you unleash as you hear siiiap!! - courtesy of milonare again
3.we used to say "kudi" when you found someone in hide-and-seek LOL might be related to kudiro - milonare tena
4.And chubli when someone dived into water or unleashed during a long call!! - Need I name names anymore?
5.sing mario sing mario tanareka(dont even ask) leo leo abcd kesho kesho 123... - That one belongs to nick
6.ngomongo-pingili-pangala-pingili... - Nick again
7.chikting chikting!',the sound of camera clicks in 'let's pretend to be movie stars, kid series' - from prickypicks
8.Latest update: - "dsshngeo"- the sound of a shooting a gun. from Blue Poet.
-Hmmmmm and we are suppossed to be adults tee hee hee

I have lost it....temporarily

Jana after evening class i went to the lib to try and summarise a paper anutha prof had given us.This paper is so verbose and philosophical about sumthin practical so it is a pain in the arse.I got to page 3 out of 6 then my brain said "screw this!" so even though I was reading words nuthin was getting into my head.So my mind went on it's own tangent and due to all these 5 of the best tags and where were you posts courtesy of people like nick and milionare my mind started rememebering the sound effects that we used to make as kids.
1.Twaff!!! - The sound of a slap
2.Kuduu!!!!- The sound of something falling down usually a heavy object or person
3.WOO WOO!!! - A dog barking.Kwani Kenyan dogs never heard of the letter F?
4.Chwiiii - The sound of someone farting quietly.
5.Krrrrrr - sound of someone farting loudly also used to summarise a chair being pulled across the floor
6.Chwaaa!!! - The sound of something spectacular being unleashed ie we were with jono and then chwaa!!! he chucked a red from his pocket.
7.Chonyonyonyonyo - the sound a car used to make when it was being started

- Well it has been a few years so I have forgotten most of the damn sounds that and i think if my boss sees me now she thinks I am concentrating on the work she has given me but instead I am making kiddie noises in my head.Yenyewe nimechizi!

Funny and sad

This one was so funny that I had to share.Some of the chics that I share classes with work in the corrections system aka prisons.So one of these chics is a librarian at a geriatric prison where most of the prisoners are over 60 and on the verge of chipping.So she tells me about these blind prisoners who lead each other.Why?Coz one of them is more skilled with his cane then the other.But that is not the funny part.I asked her how a blind man can be in prison and she says that someone put a gun in his hand and told him to walk in a store.She asked him if he asked what it was or wether he could feel what it was and he was like bila.So he walked into the store and he went down....damn whoever set him up was a bastard!On a sad note she told me how the prisoners there wanted to take college courses and you know what the warden says "no way anyone here is gonna be smarter then me!"
Oh well life can be a biyatch!

Timelines

Had a green light to skive todays class a 3 hour class lakini due to guilt I have decided that after one hour only I am going back to class.But before I leave here is a little some some.Got to keep the tag going!
10 Years ago..
I was in late primo in saints.Yes I was in a school for mababi who cares!Wearing kinyasas.Remember playing ball with my bata prefect, damn those shoes were close to indestructible!Also I was such a handful that bar one year my mathee was always called to talk to my teachers.Damn bastards thot I would never amount to much well I am doing my second degree and you punks only did teachers training ( nuthin against teachers ) lakini I had to vent on that one.Oh and who can forget manyanga mats!It was like being in a moving heng joint ie Richochet!and the good old win a car contests, do ya'll remember Rare Watts?Damn I'm old

5 Years ago...

Had just cleared uni.Was working a whack jobo for a marketing company in nai where I used to be in the office by 7.30am and after doing all the laps and reports out at 6pm for such a poor salo that I cant even put it down here for the shame.But on the bright side it made me street wise.Was also enjoying the hanyee thoroughly Westi damu kabisa!Crooked Q yay yay.

1 Year ago...

Had just finished a contract working as a web designer and a site reviwer for some dutch christian folk who were running a ministry that was to help langas.It was fun and the cash was good but those people in the long run only helped themselves as they were using the girls to get donations from home and they had the "I am smarter then all black ppl" mentality.Well they eventually ran themselves into the ground due to poor financial planning and let most of the gals go back on the street but since the main jamaa is wanted back home he simply said that he had changed the focus of his ministry.Na mnashanga vile sipendi mambo ya church.I guess my cynicism was at a peak at this time in my life I have softened now.

Yesterday...

Did time in the lib trying to review a very boring paper only did 2 out of 6 pages.Went to visit one of the few Kenyan chics who fed me Ugali masquerading as rice and swatched at midnight in my spartan room.Have not had time to get furniture for my room yet.

ps:some bastards thinks my posts are where they can sell stuff.Try again and I will trace your i.p and beat you like a drum at a luhya isukuti festival,punk!

list of 5

Hey good thing I was tagged by Milonare as I am feeling kinda blogged out.I guess that is my puno for when at times I blog upto 3 times a day.Anyway here goes.

Five places of maana, I be approaching these like road runner
1.Anywhere that I can go skydiving, always wanted to do that.
2.Brazil- Always wanted to go there.Nice people,nice beaches,soccer,capoeira and damn the CHICS (woo hoo).
3.South Korea - I have seen some pics of the rural parts and they look so serene and beautiful would also love to see their temples
4.Deep Sea Diving - Not a place but something I would love to do too
5.Nai - Yes I miss life in nai.the dust,parkies,mats and all ( sniff,sniff)

These fashion items be crude, I’d rather go nude

1.Kuyo sweaters - Not made by kuyos but there were some sweaters that were sold in stores like Kings and other chuti shops that kuyo mathees just seemed to love.
2.Freezer/Savco jeans - Yes they are no longer sold but is still remember how wack they are to this day!
3.Waistcoats - I just do not like them.Guess being squeezed in some as a kiddo left after effects.
4.Hospital gowns - need i say more
5.Tuxedos - Always painful when you have to escort one of your own to the slaughter.

Given a metre, nitado hivi bila kusita

If I had a million I would.
1.Help out the Katrina folks
2.Help the abandoned pets from Katrina ( yes I have a heart for animals )
3.Do a round the world trip
4.Sadia my few relas of maana back home
5.Save


My 5 greatest joys

1.Playing with dogs
2.Martial arts...and no I am not a bully
3.Watching action/kung fu flicks
4.intellectual and witty converation
5.Sleeping in the afternoon

5 best songs

1.Mr Jones - Counting Crows
2.Keep your head up - 2pac
3.Jesus Freak - DC Talk ( even tho I am a heathen of sorts )
4.Return to innocence - Enigma
5.Gregorian chant

5 Best Snacks
1.Roast Maize
2.Boiled Maize
3.Sweet potatoes
4.Nyam chom
5.Tusker ( this is a complete food for me physically and spiritually! )

Brain drain or brain overflow?

I was almost leaving the office bila posting.Ai that would have been a shame.I am reading the Nation article about Kenya's brain drain and I would not term it as a brain drain.Drainage is when you have little and what you have is being taken away from you aka depletion.But on the other hand we in Kenya have a brain overflow we have too much so what is extra is going to the rest of the world.
Many patriotic Kenyans talk about nation building.I have no problem with that but what happens when there are no opportunities for Kenyans to nation build in there own nation ?Or their meagre efforts to do so are set back at every turn by a retrogressive government?Although this has slightly changed with the new government.Anyway as I was saying does it make sense for skilled Kenyans to stay in the country in the name of patriotism?Well if the government is ready to pay them to do so all well and good, if not then they should not carp about it.Kenya is a place where the well educated can go hungry.Do any of you recall Prof Lihanda Savai who wanted to run during the last election ( I hope I got his name right).Despite his academic prowess the man was wallowing in abject poverty, I hear he got a job teaching in Australia later on.But that is the country I left one where only the smart and those who knew the right people got ahead.In many sectors a good day's work for a good day's pay became a dream.
But what am I getting at?I do not think that we have a brain drain to speak of as there are few local sectors suffering due to people leaving and those of us who have left are not unpatriotic.I am sure most of us would be back home if we could get the opportunities and whatever else that made us leave.
You see I can be serious too!

Easy like Sunday morning

Ah Sunday is here.I have spent most of it bumming in bed on doctor's orders even though I already have a basic idea why I feel so tired.And the worst thing about it is that the more time you spend in bed the more tired that you feel so it is a self defeating practice for me to spend lots of time in bed so that I get more energy.
Well the missing container of food turned up in the sink in the morning and to ask the roomie the jamaa disowns even though they were only 2 of us in the house that night.Ama a burglar broke in and jacked my food, yea right!So I cooked more food but this time I have put it in the freezer.Ran into 2 roaches last week on two different days.The roaches are so big that I dropped an iron on one to kill it and the thing was still moving.I went to the store and bought the most poweful insecticide that I could find and I sprayed it on places where I knew they could enter the room through ie doorjamb etc.Gotta look out for myself you know.
Anyway now I am in the lib reviewing some articles.To save time I am reviewing as it write so that I only have to read the articles twice.They are from a book about world politics and the ironic thing is that the most interesting and easy to review ones are then ones that are anti-american but I have limited myself to 2 don't want to look anti-stato.
The level of ignorance about the world outside here is so amazing that it ceases to amaze me. There are some cultured Americans I will admit but most of them are not. I think that educated Kenyans are more cultured then educated Americans. I find it interesting how some of these jungus feel so much more cultured after a brief 2 week visit to Europe usually Britain,Spain,Italy or France. Why thy do not choose to visit even Eastern Europe I do not know as that would be more illuminating if you can't afford to do Asia or Africa.