When Mum was in town

I passed by Kelitu's blog where she was recounting her mother visiting.The post was so tight that it reminded me of the days when my mum came to visit.
First of all I have this thing of when I am on holiday of drinking 1 - 2 beers daily, on day 3 of this; my mum asked me if I had become a drunk as in Nai I used to only drink when I went out to the locals or clubbing and never ever in the digs.
Plus came the storos of being harakishwad juu ya usafi in the digs.You know how mathees have some microscopic eyes that can see dust. While the rest of my family have the philosophy of "if you can't write your name on the surface then it doesn't have to be cleaned!"
Then my mum discovered life time channel and the one for housekeeping and cooking ( I never watch it so I don't know what it's called!).She would watch those channels and the church ones daily.She once switched to the E! which had Girls next door (the show for the playboy bunnies) she was shocked that such stuff can be on TV.Good thing is that she did not throw a fit!
Then there was the bitching over the food. The bread here is not the same, the meat has too much water, this chicken is too fatty, this yoghurt isn't nice, they call these sausages? The first day I went to the supermarket shopping and she tagged along I almost cried (not for joy).To save cash the peeps at my sisters use tomato paste, canned veggies etc. We checked into Kroger and I saw her veering into the fresh produce section, I tried to derail her by pointing out some special offers......wapi!She went on to load the trolley with fresh tomatoes all sorts of veggies and some nice juicy ribs (which I did enjoy eating) but the cutting into the beer budget was not much appreciated!
In my family there are light sleepers and heavy sleepers. My mum, big sister and I fall among the former group.So it was not surprising when my mum began to complain that the air-con was too loud and she couldn't sleep but the bad thing is that it was winter so turning it off wouldn't have been the best choice, so she lost on that one!But where I gnashed is that in the morning I used to like watching tv in the sitting room while I did the usual press-ups and sit-ups.Only on day one to hear a shooooshing sound coming from upstairs, seems even 1/4 volume was too loud.The sound apparently could be heard from upstairs through the paper thin screens in American houses that masquerade as walls.
Let me not forget the fact that back home more then 15 mins on the phone would result in a msomo."Remember that phones aren't free!"Is what we would be told!So my mum wasn't too pleased when my small sis would have her cell phone glued to her ear 24-7.
Another bone of contention with us was the fact that ugali was no longer the staple food in the digs.When I was growing up we used to eat ugali almost everyday, bar days when guests were coming (and even on some days that didnt make a difference ), and on 2 days of the week when chapatis,rice, pilau or fries would make an appearance!By the time I was in std 6 I could koroga Ugali with the best of them.As the years passed I could tell you the different brands and posho mill flour by taste alone.Wait till the rest of the family got here, the Jogoo was put into deep storage till the days when some nyam chom was being made.My mum wasnt too pleases to have to find that Jogoo did not have the position of crowning glory in the kitchen cupboard but was instead in the shadows in back of the pantry.To add insult to injury when she asked if anyone would eat ugali with her, all she heard was the pattering of feet, gentle closing of doors and the sight of The Acolyte fading into the shadows.But don't get me wrong, ugali still rocks!