Monday, November 06, 2006

Rules for Single Women.

Still working on the slides and catching up on the classes I missed. Since some bloggers seem to be aficionados when it comes to the "rules", I might as well share some interesting ones I came across at one of my regular blogs. Enjoy but remember I am not the one who wrote them! So don't vent at me!
  • If you think all men are pigs, expect to live alone when you get older.
  • If you have 100 reasons to reject a man, expect to live alone when you get older.
  • Prince Charming is gay. The perfect ones always are!
  • Rich, attractive, nice - you can only have two in a man.
  • If you ask a man on a first date how much he earns or what kind of car he drives, he gets to look at your bare breasts while you are still in the restaurant.
  • If you answer your cell phone during a first date, he has the right to immediately get up and leave with no explanation.
  • Choosy and "stuck up" are closely related.
  • At 40, single "Rules Girls" become single, lonely women.
  • If you expect a man to pay for everything, you'll need a strong jaw and a good tongue.
  • Perfect men don't exist. Good men are everywhere.
  • It's OK not to want kids. It's not OK to sacrifice your personal life and goals for your career.
  • The karmic retribution for putting good men into the "Friend Zone" while getting hurt by bad boys is to become bitter, angry, and the owner of at least three cats.
  • You are not a princess no matter what your T-Shirt states. If you really think you are a princess, then you'd better have the body of a stripper, the face of an angel, and the personality of a saint. Even so, only Prince Charming can marry a princess and Prince Charming is gay.
  • Your single girlfriends don't want you to have a happy relationship with a man. Consider this when listening to their advice.
  • A man won't say "I love you" until he is 100% confident that you won't use this against him. This might take years, be patient because men can be sensitive, too.
  • Taking the time to look your best is not optional. After all, if you can catch his eye then you can catch his heart. Being agreeable, pleasant, and happy will seal the deal.
  • Smiles and laughter are contagious and can melt any man's heart.
  • The unintended consequence of independence is loneliness.
  • There is a fine line between expecting that a man pay for everything and being a common prostitute.
  • Excessive complaining is neither attractive nor polite.
  • You are entitled to nothing. However, you can expect rewards for working hard for something.
  • Before you say "it's all his fault" after a bad date, look closely in the mirror.
  • It's not always men making you unhappy. Don't let bitter women convince you of that.
  • Being strong doesn't mean being bitchy. Wise women have known this for generations.
  • You can't have it all. Please have the good sense to realize this.
  • Compromise is not surrender, it's what is necessary to have a good relationship.
  • Don't expect men to fall all over you just because you are a woman. Feminism taught men to be independent, too.
  • There's nothing wrong with looking feminine.
  • If he doesn't call you back, it means he's just not really into you. Deal with it.
  • If you meet a man, don't find reasons to reject him or things to change in him. Find reasons to accept him and respect him.
  • "As if" and "whatever" are immature insults used by 12 year olds, not intelligent young women.
  • The common word in "drink whore" and "dinner whore" is still whore.
  • Sorry girl, it's NOT all about you so you can change your T-Shirt now.
  • Many men would rather chase women, not girls.
  • Given the current state of divorce laws, don't expect any man to marry you. It's not you, it's just how things are right now.
  • Hanging around gay men won't give you any useful insights about straight men. Frankly, hanging around gay men is just creepy.
  • "No fat chicks" is the man's version of "If you're rich, I'm single".
  • Winning a man is easy, keeping a man requires hard work.
  • Advertising "Bitch" on your T-Shirt or sweatpants won't get you any dates. Single men don't care for that attitude.
  • Deferring self-gratification is a sign of maturity. You can wait until dinner even if you're hungry now.
  • The real world is pushy, rude, and often unpleasant. That doesn't mean you have to be the same way.
  • If you dress like a whore, expect to be treated like a whore.

17 comments:

mdkims said...

am actually the first one here today ... let me rest in the glory of vanity and comment on nothing

Girl next door said...

Most of the rules makes sense, but I'm wondering what's the big deal about unmarried women with cats? Men have an aversion to them. Now, I'm not talking about a hermit who owns 5 or 10 cats. Having a pet or two is healthy. And who doesn't have a gay guy friend or two?

mocha said...

LOL...mdkims!!!

Off to read!

mocha said...

Most of the rules do make sense!!!

Which leads me to ask, if you had the slightest idea that a girl you are dating is playing by 'the rules', these ones included, would you continue going out with her?

Honest answers please!!!

Jadekitten said...

I admit, albeit grudgingly, that they make a WHOLE lot of sense.

As for cats, I know a coupla married women who have more than...2... :-)

Acolyte said...

@ Mdkims
Congrats!
@ girls next door
Usually women who dont get married and have kids get cats as substitutes, many of them! Nothing with one or two. Having gay pals isnt bad but depending on them to teach you about straight men is!
@ mocha!
If a girl I was dating was acting like one of the women described in that list I would give her the boot, bila time for such!
@ jadekitten
Nothing wrong with cats as long as they are not a substitute for people!

Nakeel said...

Actually they apply. Ati cats are used as Sub wacha Aco I think that one should be dogs.

Princess said...

Hmmmm...interesting!! I like the Princess one..LOL!!!

Miss said...

I was expecting something real cheesy, but to my surprise, majority are true. When do we get a male version?

Acolyte said...

@ Nakeel
I thot men loved dogs more?
@ princess
hope you learned a thing or two.
@ miss
Want to help me out?

Proud Nyeuthi said...

Dem! This one has brought it. I am woman enought to say I agree with most. Lakini si we leave the animals out of the crossfire?

Kenyanchick said...

LOL @ Proud Nyeuthi! I agree that we should keep animals out of the line of fire!

Aco - si we do a collabo on the male version? If I write it by myself you know it won't be kind...

mocha said...

Wewe Aco....stop evading the question.

Ebu read it again carefully and answer appropriately.

Acolyte said...

@ proud nyeuthi
I love small animals so I will keep them out of the cross fire!
@ Kenyanchick
Holla at me and we can get something started!
@ Mocha
Please restate the question for my slow ass.

Sue said...

My dear, for the animals, please leave 'em out. But am really waiting up on the male version too

Eclipse said...

Aco..TRUE this TRUE this...well ama print this and stick it in my pad

U make alot of sense....all chiks should read this

Hae been goin thru your post and all i can say..am HOOKED..u and M will be the cause of my getting fired :-)

Anonymous said...

hi this is anil.but I'm wondering what's the big deal about unmarried women with cats? Men have an aversion to them. Now, I'm not talking about a hermit who owns 5 or 10 cats. Having a pet or two is health.


anil.


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