Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Genies ,Ginormus Girls and Germs

I was reading this article about the Coast and it cracked me up! The city that genies built. I recall hearing many of those geenie stories, so much so that when I was about to have my way with some girl I met the last time I was there; I sprinkled a whole bottle of Holy Water on her just to see what would happen. Sadly she screeched like a banshee and turned into dust. It was another holiday on the Bilaz train. Anyway on a serious note, I do think that alot of these tales are just that tales. Because the Coast does suffer from crime despite genies influence, but on the other hand some of these things could have happened. Why do I say that? I don't think you can the existance of only "godly" without the existance of that which could be called "ungodly." Now if only I could get one of dem genies to make me $$ so I don't have to work a 9-5?

I think I have just found the right girls for Milo's threesome! Yes the big girls are back for part 3 of The Erection Destruction Series! Yee haw!

Anyway I have fallen victim to some flu germs (or at least that is what I think they are) so let me go hibernate for a day or two, any longer and I may turn into a butterfly. Let the healing begin!


modoathii said...

eish msee. that vibe of coasto is just too amusing. i've been to coast many times and i haven't had the luck of bumping into one of aladin's pals. this sounds like one of those arabian nights stories.

so those guys coming for marathon will run out of their minds.

those mamas are humongous juggernauts. WAH! kunavile wamezibeba. milo won't 'manage et al'.

as for your homa chapa ile dawa ya ocha. eucalyptus steam bath. boil the leave and jifunika with towel while you 'breath' the fumes. (bless you!)

Chatterly said...

those story za majini ni fantasy mob tu...if majini wangekuwepo kila mtu angejinunulia jini lake maisha yawe sambamba-no working,no brokeness,no sickness :-)
those mamaz? heh kweli MILO ataweza? those mamaz will make a paste out of him.
Get well soon - invite me to make ya some chicken soup :-)

Unyc said...

Am a Genie in a bottle baby...come come n let me out...I remember being told of mermaids who wld kill u if u swin in the Ocean and i took ages before i even dared swim...am superstitious so smetymes i believe those storos.

Those mama's are humungous. Milo ata vanish humo nakwambia. Wah! N they dont even make an effort 2 shake their booty coz the flesh is elastic....

POle for ur Flu. DO take lots of liquids...and a vodka.

Rant's of an angry somali man said...

i once was on a bus sitting to this pretty girl when i started to daradara her b4 i realised she had a hoof instead of legz.....stereotypical mombasa stories.....don't get me wrong but i used get scared sana about hizi mastory isiki.

about ur cold unyc is right vodoo ndio dawa!!

mocha! said...

Jini stories...wacha tuu!!!

I remember the ones of seeing some walking on water at night when you went swimming in the ocean. Scary shyte!!!

As for those mamis....walalalalala!!! Yaani they can go chini kwa chini like its nothing. I blame my long limbs...TIHIHIHIHIHI!!!

Pole kwa homa...have you patad someone to rub that vicks on your six pa....oooppss chest?

Wachana na unyc.....Brandy, asali na ndimu ndio dawa.

Movie Buff said...

It would be nice if those mamas danced like that and then ate a salad for dinner and then swatched..... but you know they will be eating some fried chicken, corn bread, macaroni and cheese and a whole tumbler of coke *smh*

Hope you feel better!

aegeus said...

Let me go read. Will be back to comment.

Archer said...

It seems those storoz for jinis in Mombasa zimeenea kote. I heard this one about a man who met a fwyne mwarabu chic and decided to take her home to chwado something. Just before the act, he noticed that she had hooves just like those of a goat!! In his state of panic he grabbed a shuka to cover his nakedness and ran off into the night like a madman. After running for kedo an hour, he stopped to catch his breath when an old man approached him and asked what he was running away from. Dude tells the mzee the story of the mwarabu chic and her goat hooves. The mzee lifts up his kanzu and asks "zilikuwa kama hizi zangu?"

3N said...

I think this storo of jini is not just tales...
If I see any goat past mtito andei I will have to vibe it and see whether ni kondoo kabisa ama ni ka mwarabu chile looking for attention.
or go for a 3some and gather a herd of 3 kondoos.
feel better aco

Acolyte said...

@ modo
I guess you have penyad all the time. I am sure milo has a surprise in store for them! Thanks for the suggestion.
@ chatterly
Here lies the paste formerly known as Milo. I will send you an invite if I am still down and out tommorow.
@ unyc
I did swim in the sea once and I am still here, phew. LMAO at plastic booty.
@ rants
Well I guess hakuna kuhanya in coasto.
@ mocha
If I saw someone walking on water and it wasnt Jesus, I would run for my dear life. We shall pay for you to do yoga classes so you can fika na huko chini. Sadly I have no vicks volunteers, si you panda Virgin Air and pass by?
@ movie buff
Sadly we both know that isnt the case. Its going to be 8,000 calories plus!
@ archer
Jihadhari with those Coasto mamas I tell you!
@ 3N
Ebu holla back and let us know how that went.

aegeus said...

Genie stories are a dime a dozen. From fine mamas who you give a ride to and have hooves or shuka bila you having to stop the car, others who have caused accidents by materializing in front of vehicles etc.

Do get better soon, Aco, you need someone to pikia you chicken soup. Do i hear any offers ladies?

Aizoh said...

Read that article too. Genie stories scared the shit outa me when young. First visit to coasto, got terrified and clung to my ol' man's legs when i saw a black cat.

Pole kwa homa. Kuna kanjeve huko eh? I second Mocha. Brandy, asali na ndimu.

Milonare said...

When people ask for gals shaped like a coke bottle they dont mean the 2 litre ones kama hao. Those aint for Milo's 3some. Those are for a FleeSome!
That said howeva, Im disappointed that KBWesses are doubtin Milo's prowess. They are most likely right but why assume??? LOL.
The best remedy for flu is jumping on the Jazwad Train!
And that upuzi of legs za mbuzi eish!!

Girl next door said...

I remember those storoz of coast. The jini is always a very beautiful girl. But I remember during my first trip there, me and my buddies spotted a dude with funny looking ears (kinda pointy at the top) and we were convinced he was a jini or something. What can I say, we were kids...with active imaginations.

Who could survive a threesome with those ladies without being crushed to death?
Feel better soon! Drinking lots of fluids is always recommended.

Rista said...

Get well soon

mimi tu said...

those mamas look just right...very sexy...you got great taste my guy...

Ichiena said...

Those jini vibes. I somad coasto for a bit and I recall an entire week in my life where the whole school believed there was a kiatu - yes, a shoe - with eyes on a mango tree. Oh, and that the school was built over a graveyard. Of course, the ancient graveyard neighbouring the school (sic!) did not help much.

Those mamas! Aiyayaiyayai...

Kila mtu anataka kukuuua. Mocha ndo ajua dawa. Add powdered ginger na yu will be smiling keshoye.

Majonzi said...

haven't been blogging for a while, just wanted to mention that when I was a kid we went to coast a lot, and I was always scared of all the genie stories that were narrated to us... . Needless to say, I am yet to c a genie :(

Wanjiku said...

That video is just the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life! hehehe.
I used to live in coast until I was in class five and that fear for geenies was so real. Haki we used to go to the loos in groups of at least 3 cause we were afraid of bumping into a geenie and its pals. There was once a rumour that there were geenies that had manifested themselves into a walking tea cup and spoons and they were dancing in the girls loo. I got so freaked out that I couldn't go to the loo. Yani kazad until I peeed on myself. The fear of the spirit world.DUDE!