Friday, March 07, 2008

The End Of Another Week........

As time goes by I have been realizing some interesting things about myself, some new and some old. I've come to the realization that there is little that we can't stop doing if we put our minds to it. I have friends or rather acquaintances, who confess about certain habits that they have that are messing them up but they "can't" stop. I have had very negative habits that used to hold me back but like a drunkard waking up in a ditch, I often have a moment of clarity that brings everything to the fore and I walk away; not that it's easy of course. Some battles are harder then others. It's just that holding onto a bad habit is a crutch in itself, a way to avoid change; case in point people who use sexual relationships to avoid intimacy. It seems like much more fun to be screwing a new chic/dude every other day as opposed to working to build a relationship with someone and taking the risk of heartbreak and the other issues that come with a relationship. One of my interesting habits or quirks? I have borderline OCD, I have to check doors and locks 2-3 times before I can go; this also extends to light switches, taps, mail boxes and electrical devices. It sucks when I lock a door, walk several hundred meters and then turn around and go back to make sure it is closed even though deep inside I know I closed it. I also have this thing for bathroom sinks, my bathroom sink can't have any gunk of sorts in it, I have to have it as clean as possible. I leave it so clean that I can usually tell if someone else has been using it other than myself, it used to extend to kitchen sinks but sharing an apartment with slobs cured me of that because there was no way I was going to clean up after grown men. Yes that's me, your borderline OCD sufferer; now stop eyeing my gleaming sink and clean your own!

I'm sure those of you who are in Kenya now must notice the way ethnicity has become such a charged issue almost like race here in America. Well the other day, I was on facebook and I was going through my Kenyan friends' profiles and I began noticing some interesting things, case in point was how with some people 99% of their Kenyan friends were from their tribe. This got me to wondering about a few things; did they make this choice consciously or subconsciously? Do they have friends from other tribes? What do they think about people from other tribes? Anyway at the end of the day someone's friends say alot about them and their lives so I guess at the end of the day, its' their lives and the people they choose to have in them is their choice. Interesting days we live in.

I came to the fine realization that over time my American work mask has been slipping? What is this mask you ask? Well you see here in the States, people who work together are meant to be one big happy family or at least make the pretext of it. Well in the early days when I got my job, I used to make daily chit chat with people at work and listen to their stories and such, dont get me wrong they are nice people for the most part. I get along just fine with my supervisor and the Head of our Department; there was a chic who was a good pal and we used to share jokes but she left so for the most part I'm on a cordial basis with most of the people. So as time has been passing, I have been making less and less of an attempt to get chatty with people. I'm an introvert by nature and also this whole telling the whole office about the funny small things that are happening in your life isnt my thing; for example our Head of Department sent around an email asking people if they knew any natural cure for toothache; this is because his son had braces put in and due to the pain he has been on painkillers but they are tired of giving him Tylenol so he wanted some tips. I dont have a problem with the request for advice though, I do think at times that with my silence and "secrecy" some people at work must have a few things here and there to say about me; anyway let them talk. I just believe in having my home life and work life separate.

I also came to the realization that there are some fights that you can't win. Case in point, the gay issue. If you don't like gays and are against the lifestyle; you are a closet homosexual and are scared of them. If you are for the gay cause then other people say you are just a homo waiting to come out and have no morals whatsoever. I think you all know that I' m the Prince of Apathy, what you choose to shove up your orifices is no concern of mine, nor is that fact that you feel that you were created the wrong gender and want to change that; do whatever you want. Please just keep the volume down if you decide to have a coming out rally somewhere around my block. Speaking about playing for the other team, Meshell Ndegeocello is in town this weekend and I may just go see her perform. Have a nice weekend!

10 comments:

gishungwa said...

Meshell Ndegeocello, for her i would give and arm and a leg just to see her perform.
I have come to accept that as much as things change the same way they remain the same. I have habits that i have been trying to kick some successfully while others not so successful.

bomseh said...

On the facebook friends thing, I think it depends with where one went to school. Like most of my friends are from the Rift Valley and majority are from one tribe (not mine) that comes from the region so I guess that's how. Even most of my friends huku down South are homeboys, people I have known for long. Aii, maybe I need to make more friends.

candybox said...

I see im not the only person with OCD although mine is quite mild. Like tidying up - can only do it alone; don't want people to help they might interfere with my method.

That work thing is so hard to maintain especially on fridays when someone suggests after work drinks. eeish

madthoughts said...

I think we all have some level of OCD- to some extent at least. i am passionate about writing lists, I list everything even though it may end up having two items on it, im done for if i dont list down things.

my friends come from all over the country so its not too bad and when we are together, it doesnt really matter, at least to me.

mocha! said...

How do you pronounce the surname of that artist?

Kwanza.....you have been tagged!!!

Happy weekend!

Mwangi said...

There was so much I agree with in that article I don't know even where to begin.
About the homosexual issue, you are pretty right: I think unless you have vested interests in it, apathy and leaving it alone are the best ways to deal with it, otherwise you just come up against too much noise on both sides.
I am surprised you can still hold your 'we're-all-big-happy-family' vibe until today. I gave up on that and became introverted a while ago, I tried that for two years saw that we simply couldn't connect via convo and decided I would spend my time with them in silence and reflection.
As for people being unable to change habits, in my experience , it's kidogo BS, it's just guys making excuses to keep doing what they are doing, I know that cause I used to do that all the time.
Enjoy the show, damn some people are upmarket, up culture like that. The most sophisticated concert I have been to is a 'Nameless concert' lol

Nakeel said...

We many with the OCDs. Some habits remain with us making us feel like they own us.
Happy weekend and enjoy Meshelle.

AfroFeminista said...

OCD: we all \have it in one degree or other

giving up bad habits: what makes it hard, is when it feels right or rightly so, when engaging in the bad habit seems/is percived to be easier than going clean. I hear you on the casual sexual staff against a long term, wonderful relationship. . .

Work: boundaries are needed

Girl next door said...

To a certain extent, we all get hooked on something whether it's coffee or crack. But I think some personalities tend to be more easily addicted to stuff.

I'm a strong believer in separating work and personal life. I don't mind attending a social event with workmates occasionally but some of the gossip I heard made me very cautious about what I disclosed. Also spending time away from work made me realize how little I had in common with certain people.

I couldn't imagine having friends from only one tribe. But at the same time we tend to have a similar upbringing. I agree with Bomseh that school has something to do with it.

Kafai. said...

"case in point people who use sexual relationships to avoid intimacy. It seems like much more fun to be screwing a new chic/dude every other day as opposed to working to build a relationship with someone and taking the risk of heartbreak and the other issues that come with a relationship."
I am going to get myself a wheelchair!