Anyway the other day I was talking to some female relatives about relationships, marriage and such and the issue of married people's friends came up. The ladies were of the firm opinion that married men should not have single male friends. Their reasoning was that your priorities are different now, so you have no business spending time. Of course this got me hot under the collar because it was obvious to me that she was looking at this from a completely feminine point of view with some sprinkling of bachelor stereotypes thrown in.
You see unlike women, men don't define their friendships or themselves by their relationships with other people in their lives. Men tend to define themselves by what we do, have or know (that's why being laid off hits men really hard as our work in many cases tends to define us). Add to the fact that men bond over shared interests, so if your husband is friends with a single man there must be a certain number of interests they share ie soccer, politics, business etc. Also being a bachelor does not mean that we do not have responsibilities of our own and are even more responsible than some married men, being a single man isn't a life of endless partying and debauchery (even though I wish it was).
There is also the oft aired belief that being friends with single men will drive your boyfriend/husband to stray. I hate to burst your bubble ladies but there are married men out there who are more than willing to drive your husband to stray and cover for him while they are at it.
So ladies, we bachelor friends of your boyfriends/husbands are here to stay!
Now that I have that off my chest that reminds me of how sad it is how so many women jettison their single pals the moment they get married or hitched and forget about them, but guess who they start looking for when things get rocky in paradise? Sigh, human beings, I'll never understand us......
3 comments:
Good one, and very true too. I keep my friends even during or after marriage. I expect to keep them even when I get hitched.
as usual you hit the nail on the head even with mundane stuff.dont stop blogging.i'm such a fan.keep on keeping on.
@ bomseh
Mad props for trying to do your part as a pal, I wonder if your pals are getting any push back for keeping you as a pal?
@ ANon
Thanks for the encouragement, I may have slowed down but I'll be blogging for a min and a half.
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