Subject:Legal Screw Contract
Ladies and Gentlemen, Given the present legal tussles surrounding sex
and more so the pressure put on men by FIDA, We men conscious about any
aftermaths of a sexual intercourse have come up with a binding contract
that if adhered to would exempt you from any legal recourse.
CONSENT FORM SIGNED BEFORE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
This certifies that, I, ____________________________ the undersigned
female (hereafter referred to as the "screwee") about to enjoy sexual
intercourse with _________________________ (hereafter referred to as the
"screwer"). I am above the lawful age of consent. I am in my right mind
and not under the influence of any narcotic or alcoholic substances. The afore mentioned screwer need not use any force, threats, coercion or
promises to influence me.
Furthermore I, the screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever, and do not
expect or wish to marry him. I do not know if he is married or not, and
I do not care. I am neither asleep nor drunk, I'm entering this
relationship with him because I love it and want it as much as he does.
In the event whereby I receive the full satisfaction, which I expect, I
declare in advance the capacity and willingness to further
participation as soon as time permits. In addition, I will not act as a
witness against him nor will I file charges against him should I fall
pregnant, contract a sexual disease or feel that he is violating any
legislation, moral, legal or otherwise.
Signed naked before jumping into bed on this ________ day of the _____
Month in the year 2005.
Signature of screwee: ______ Date of birth:_____________Date of conduct:
_______________________
Please print enough copies so that we can discuss
this Friday
bcc: TeeJ, Mutumia, Guess, Farmgal, Ms K et al.
America's Colonial Election
3 years ago
24 comments:
skates...in at no. 1 as usual...
kiss my backside and my ring no. 2
shit msanii u i was here before gaddamn
He he he drawing contracts left and right..?
what happens to stuff like quickies? just asking
i must admit porky is totally unamused i had a song already for number 1.
LOL at screwee and screwer...and hakuna cha sayin after she has been violated by the different positions requested...ha ha ha ha
i wonder if you have a post coital contract?
he he he@Nick.."how does it feel"...i bet d'angelo would relate..wouldn't he?
@ Msanii
I can see that you are back on form!Yes quickies are kinda tricky in this department.
@ Nick
LOL 2 mins away from greatness!Btw hope ur chic doesnt think the same thing about u in the sack :D.A post coital contract is in the works esp if you need to have ur rep saved in case of misperformance!
Boooo!!!
All I have to say is, if we were to *ahem* grind coffee pamoja--- a binding contract is the last thing you'd have in mind--- bondage constriction p'raps- lakini contract... you're out of your gaddam mind.....
PS....
Mbona we only rate a ka-BCC? not even cc? What's going on my dear Aco?
@ mutumia
You know we jamaas have to keep out asses covered in case after the coffee grinding you say you were an unwilling grinder!Well if you have someone who is willing to join us for a "combi" let me know so i can cc them too!
@ mutumia
I just want us go get closer that's all.Trust me.Nick and co will never know.I wouldnt tell them if you dont.....
@aco:she'd be lucky if she gets a full two minutes hee hee hee hee
-LMAO at coffee grinding
@msanii:ur butt is mine...MJ stlye ngoja next post i'll show you who's BAD!!!! jamon,lay it on me alright! ho! ow! Pow! hee heee huuuuuuuuuuu! Who's BAD!
@contract king:akina milo and nick have duly noted noted
LoL @ "In the event whereby I receive the full satisfaction, which I expect..." Stroking ur ego b4 the strokes...dude ur priorities are not in order...:-)
Ati and Date of Conduct? ha! you have potentail to be certifiable eh?
Oops! the Ann O. Nimus (Mutumia, 2005...i think) above is me.
@ Tee J
I think a guy performs best when his ego is in the right place!Dontcha think so?
"lay it on me alright" - Nicholas, that statement has the capacity to be misinterpreted all ways till sunday, I am worried about you.
@Aco - hmm, bcc - who gets the TO and the CC - we are not amused.
I have given up on being anything other than double-figure visitor around here, and yes, Msanii you cant convince us you have a job yet. We need proof :)
Aco - if you have to sign a contract before eh, strokage occurs, then your mind is definitely somewhere else, and you definitely dont deserve the stroking session.
@ Guess
Don't worry one day you too will have as much time as msanii has and you can be number one too!
Well for you we can dispense the contract and get to bizness!;D
No more saucy comments this is a blog for all ages and genders please!
am shaking my head coz i dont know what to say! (still shaking my head)
LOL @ Guess-- you put your finger (er metaphorically) on it--- if dude is in a position to think up legal verbage before strokage --- that's too coitus interuptus for me(ditto for chicks too)
@ mutumia
seems that that storo of contracts has been rendered null and void ;D!Well I guess with the unpredictable nature of the issuance of strokes that was inevitable!
@ farmgal
I too am running out of verbage!
And at what point do we sign the contract?
Just curious cos the way some of the sc**ers are before the fact, the last thing on their minds are signatures and such like things.
@ prou
a most valid point!
going with prosette; i think the postcoital contract should be just as valid before the courts as the precoital one.
@ All
Please know this is not a serious document so i will not be held responsible for any legal ramifications that result from the use of the said document.
gai
Sooo late mpaka Ill just say hi Aco
Lakini am liking the pre-modinyoz contract...
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