Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Mileage

mile·age also mil·age
1. Total length, extent, or distance measured or expressed in miles.
2. Total miles covered or traveled in a given time.
3. The amount of service, use, or wear estimated by miles used or traveled: This tire will give very good mileage.

I took a look at the last few posts that I have made and I noticed one thing.Kumeharibika!Right now I hardly have a schedule and I am sorely lacking when it comes to external stimuli.I looked at yesterday's post and I was like urghhhh!I have to admit it was far worse then Mutumia's all over the place post.
Anyway let's look at this mileage thigie.Oh this sound juicy!Quotes from a forum Kenyans out here like and some KBW comments.Then we'll see what mileage means.

Like someone just said....you girls seem to have high mileage!

Its like you got repossed,auctioned to the highest bidder,used and now you headed straight for the junk!!!!!!


lets kill this thread.let the damu go and be shagged.she will be back although she will have high mileage

when we decide that we want to settle down and stop hanyaring we go get a nice chaste church gal with minimal mileage - Aco 2005!

But on the other hand, no-one wants to buy a shoe that everyone has been wearing for free,why buy the cow when everyone has been drinking the milk for free? -tosses another grenade sprinting away in glee- Aco 2005!

But aside from that, mileage is just a wrong way to look at things, arent those shoes self-healing or something - its not like there is 'tear and wear' involved in doing the deed - Ok, I may not have had any for a while, but I am still fighting.
Oh, does DIY count as tear and wear?
What if someone was gay and 'turned' straight, is there mileage countable?
What if you have had two lovers, but did it three times a day for the last five years, does that count as mileage?
I realise I an in a Questionable mental state, but damn, I cant seem to stop making up things :)
- Guess 2005!

@Guess: We wacha! DIY doesn't count!!! The odometer would break mami! I think it's all so arbitrary it's almost meaningless- I mean- what if I slep with Kamau then Otieno- then went back to Kamau- does that count as 2 or 3 men? What if I was in a three some with Kamau and Otish? Is that one man or two? What if I was in another state and used a fake name? eh? Does that count? - Mutumia 2005!

DIY is maintenance.Gay turning straight?Mileage is mileage whether the car was driven forward or in reverse.As for the effects of wear and tear there are some chics whom popular opinion/consensus has shown have been round the block so much that it 's like throwing a coin into a corridor when it come to the you know what.Hence the brisk sales of things like virginity soap.- Aco 2005!

This mileage biz has been discussed ad nauseum- Its weird though,this self-healing issue, seems to only apply to jamaaz. - Medusa 2005!

But then I get alarmed when a girl knows more than 6 men -in the biblical sense- within a 10 mile radius of her residence. It is in bad taste, it breaks the rules it is bordering on incest or something like that. Not that is is immoral or anything but it becomes logistically complicated when you meet at the checkout with all of them at the local supermarket.but I still wonder why virginity soap is such a hit kwanza the tunnel is not supposed to have chemicals introduced as you might end up with funny conditions....
the free shoe analogy, plus mileage self healing hihihi... people need prayers here.
- Prousette 2005!


@ Ms K
Also the diff permutations you and Guess have come up with are on a level of their own!One man/multiple encounters,2 men multiple encounters,3somes,aliases.What are ya'll going to come up with next?Orgies???
- Acolyte 2005!

This was one of the most interesting exchanges in KBW history.So according to me there are several conclusions.Mileage is counted in terms of partners and not encounters.One mile for a chic is equivalent to 0.25 miles for a guy, since we are hardier and are are not subject to the same stringent rules of examination.If you are a guy or a gal and when you go to your local supermarket or bar and meet more then 5 people you have slept with, you are a hoe!As a chic the more mileage you have, the less desirable you are as a marriage partner.Also gals are each others worst critics and a gal will not hesitate to reveal another gal's track record if it will help her win the guy the are fighting over.Oh much like used car salesmen no-one reveals the full extent of their mileage.Self service does not count as mileage it is more like maintenance.Please note that all orifices used to consumate the act count to total mileage,so some of you have much higher mileage then you think (substitution still counts).Last but not least Men self but women wear don't (sorry Guess).
Why do I have the feeling that I am not done with this post?

6 comments:

Farmgal said...

am I first

Farmgal said...

The best one was mileage is mileage whether the car was being driven in reverse or not!

There's a post I wish you saw aco. I wish I cld remember where it was. KBW guys were giving each other tips on where you can go catch in a car in Nai, without the watchiz knocking on your window. That was crazy!

mutumia said...

Mileage is tricky---- it’s quantity and quality too (and quality and quantity is in and of itself very subjective)… To illustrate, if I caught with a league of extraordinary gentlemen (Kajuana, 2005), then it’s not as mbof as with a similar number of pedestrians. If I caught with e.g. # 9 manambas (apologies to #9 manambas) then it’s mbaya even though the #s are less. If I’m with a church clique, then 2 is a very high number. If I’m with a group of high-rollers, then 2 renders me practically a CCC (Guess, 2005) I am still pretty chaste. Add to this all those stealth catchings that you can keep hidden (e.g. out of state jaunts under an alias, catching with Bul.ga.rian.s on a temporary student exchange visa ) the odometer freezes. Then if I accept the Lord as my shepherd and repent, my numbers are erased (like a white board). The best thing of them all- mileage is all what you decide to accept. Refuse to confirm or deny ANYTHING!!! And your mileage is what you (do not) say it is…..

akiey said...

Call me out for being a cynic but my understanding of mileage is that many times over when a chick quotes her mileage to a guy then said guy having interest in her should double stated mileage by two since chicks aren't always truthful about their odometer readings while...

when a guy states his mileage to a chick with designs on him, said chick out to cut that guy's mileage by half since guys are often than not gloating about their odomoeter readings.
Just my $0.02 and two point five miles to boot.

The Acolyte said...

@ farmgal
I am going to search for that post like there is no tommorow!
@ Mutumia
A dick is a dick no matter what it is attached to ie student visa,out of stater,high roller!And if you get saved that mileage still stands coz much like a moti even if you reverse the odometer it will still have wear and tear.Ebu wacha those conk formulas!Ten out of ten for effort!:D
@ Akiey
I think for chics multiply times 3 and if she is a mlevi make that 5 it's amazing what can be forgotten when under the influence!And for dudes divide by 3 coz dudes tend to exaggerate for publicity!

Prousette said...

I had to find this out in the new year. OK here goes mileage is mileage but if you catch a VD the first time no one will ever believe that you have not been around heh.
Then if DIY, aliases and all count aki even some priests are doing pretty bdly in this case they are not celibate at ALL!
But then again we seem to be the only ones obsessed with mileage I hear in some places as a sign of welcome a man is given the lady of the house for the nights he is saying there... so this does not count as mileage in the eye of the husband.