Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Tit for tat

Yesterday I was having one of those days in the office where I remember funny things that happened in the past and I begin smiling and then I break down into laughter alone.Of course at this point in time people begin to think that the stress of school and work is too much or that I have been overwhelmed by homesickness.This is what I remembered:
I had a good pal of mine let's call him Jon.This cat was funny as hell and loved playing practical jokes; he would prank you before you knew what went down.Anyhow one night we went to an establishment favoured by airhostesses (Kenya has fly airhostesses not those airhags that serve you in American airlines, screw equal opportunity!) and other fly women.
So we sit down and we are sipping our expensive beers.All of a sudden Jon's face lights up like he has seen someone he has seen sitting on a table that is 2 tables behind me.He gets up and I turn discreetly to see where he is going.Jon strides confidently to a table that is packed chock full with a group of beauties smiles at one of them leans over and says something to one of them,she answered and gave him a smile.He then said something to the rest of the group pointed towards me, waved to the rest and walked back to our table.
Aco:Wsup my guy?Who are those mamas?Si u unganisha your boy like this?
Jon:Of course my guy!I am tight with those mamas, you didn't see me pointing at you?Just go over and tupa your intro, things are timam huko!
So having been given the green light I slide over,flex the chest and biceps and equip the Aco smile.I went over and said Hi! and stretched out my arm to say hello.It is only when I saw the puzzled looks on the ladies faces' that I knew there was a problem so I had to go for plan B to save face.
Aco: Do you work for KQ? You look like a someone who works the London route with my friend Angie.
Gal: No I work the Amsterdam route but I do know Angie!(ps:Most Kenyan chics have a pal called Angie so always have this name in mind).What was your name again?
Aco:(proceeds to give name) It was nice to meet you but I have to bounce my pal is waiting for me (Always leave when operating on deception coz the real Angie may show up and disown you!)
I then went and sat down at our table to find Jon laughing his head off.
Aco: sawa cheka tu!Your day will come!
Two months later we are at a local with the rest of my other pals enjoying cheap booze before we go uptown (Westlands) when Jon shows up with the latest chick he was trying to shag and escape before dawn.
Jon:My guys wsup!Meet this nice chic Joan!
Aco:(pretending to look slightly inebriated)-face lighting up in recognition!- Ah, kumbe this is that Joan slut you were telling us about!
Joan:(face folding in anger and disgust!) What!Is that what you have been telling your boys (storming off in anger outside where she took the next cab she could find)
Needless to say Jon couldnt convince him that he did not say anything like that and slept alone that night.
Aco:Si I told you your day would come!
Jon:Roho safi you wezad me 10-0 huko lakini now we're even, sawa?
Aco:sawa!
One of these days I have to tell you how the boys torpedoed a chic who had our boy under lock and key....

15 comments:

Kenyangal said...

Tell us the story of the boys torpedoing the chic (Just in case some 'boys' ever plan a takeover bid on me.) :] forewarned is forearmed

Mocha! said...

LOL.....this is some seriously funny shyte! i cant stop chekaing.

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
That story will come up soon but first I have to edit today's lot of bollywood movies
@ mocha!
Yeah them days maisha was fun not like nowadays :(

Mignon said...

waiting for that story...i love practical jokes :)

acolyte said...

@ cute_angel
That one may come out soon but I like to save it for when I am out with the boys...

Tee J said...

@ your comment over at mut's digz: Wooiii dude, si u jua it's like yani it's not like that, it's like this eh.....ofcourse I always soma what acostigator(stolen from keguro i think) is always instigating...Sometimes u just leave me speechless. Si u jua me and you over hia are like this eh..:):)

Brother Jero (BJ) said...

You are funnny to D. Will follow closely what happens next.

Whispering Inn said...

Boys will be boys!

acolyte said...

@ TeeJ
Awwww you know I can't stay mad at ya!C'm here for a hug ((((:D))))
@ bj
Them days entertainment never kosad!
@ whispering inn
Yes indeed!

Prousette said...

What had your buddy told those chicas about you, lakini boys?? That stunt on Joan was not good at all;)

guessaurus said...

Tit for tart you mean?

(shaking head)
I echo, boys will be boys :)

mutumia said...

*wagging my finger at Aco and tsk-tsk-ing*

There's collateral damage and needless civilian casualties. The Joan story is a war-crime. Why you gonna call a civilian a langa just to get even with the boys? Eh? umizaring a chile who knows nothing of the "Angie in KQ vibe?" ?

Eh?? Eh??? Eh????????????

Didja think of that?? Eh?????

tsk, tsk Aco- you and I need to have a talk!!!

Acolyte said...

@ prou
sticks and stones may break her bones but names will never hurt her....
@ guess
:D
@ mutumia
Yenyewe war is a dirty business someone has to bite the dust and it was joan.So will you spoil me when I come over for the talk?I will bring fresh sugarcane!

Farmgal said...

ai thats like a hundred nil!

acolyte said...

@ farmgal
Surely you flatter me!