Sunday, March 19, 2006

B & E!

The Acolyte has now added a new skill to his repetoire.....B & E!In full breaking and entering!Now how did this come to be?Well I was with my sister and a gal pal of mine.So this gal had just bid on a house that had been forclosed and won it.So we went to pick her up so she could show us the house.So after a 1 hour drive and getting lost for some time courtesy of crappy directions from Mapquest we got there.The house is in a nice new sub division.It is a small two story 3 bedroom house but we couldn't get in because her realtor, another Kenyan chap had the keys and he had left the area just an hour earlier and was not coming back.We were so pissed since we had made that whole drive for nothing.So there we are 2 gals and Aco standing outside a new house looking into the windows.Its the realtor dude who told us that we could get in using the trick that we see in the movies.The good old credit card lock picking technique.After a few attempts by the gals and Aco nothing doing.Mind you as we are doing this we are making it look like we are using the keys and waving to any neighbours as they drove by.Good thing it's a black neighbourhood so we didn't stick out.Anyway after getting a discarded credit card and using Aco magic I realised that the trick is to slide the card in lengthwise under where the lo ck meets the door and push up while at the same time pushing the door.Voila!You're in!The interior of the house was pretty cute too!But we decided not to dawdle as with a good B & E you're meant to be in and out as fast as possible!
After that later in the evening we went to Compound.I must admit that even though I dont like night clubs much, I prefer lounges and bars; I must say that it is a pretty nice joint.Plus if you RSVP you get in free before 11pm (anyone remember beating the 9pm buzzer at soul?).The only blight on the night was this place has damn unisex toilets so you have to line up to relieve your bladder after lining up for 30 mins my bladder was like "Hell no!We're shutting up shop!"In fact that reminds me of something whenever you drink something and you are on a road trip it seems kinda hard to hold it in and to make things worse the driver doesn't want to hear about bathroom breaks but on the other hand when you are in a club with that kinda situation your bladder turns to steel that and when you are in a bar/club and have met/come with a fly chic, getting your groove on as vultures hover in the horizon waiting for a mere 2 seconds of your absence to swoop in!Talk about the wonders of the human body!
Other then that my pal starts talking to my sis about how she would love to get a new car like a beamer instead of the suzuki she's driving now.....and a man to pay that car note.Blech!!Let's just say that chic fell off my charts sometime back as have many chics due to that kind of avarice.But the peeps who make me happy in those situations are our old time Kenyan babas and Germans.These are the kind of men who went they keep a chic the chic will want for nothing but she also will rarely see a penny so that she never gets any thoughts of running off to enjoy that cash with some young lad.You tell one of these men you want to go shopping, they go with you and pay for it; you want to get your hair done?They take you to the salon and settle the bill when they pick you up.So gal here can't get any ideas of flying the coup.Anyway women are such complex beings!

6 comments:

Kenyangal said...

Aco I don't think you should get pissed at your gal pal because she wasnt talking in reality. First of all she knows getting a beamer is well impossible and even more so getting a man to pay the car note.. Its the same way a guy would say waaaaaaaaah, if only i could have beyonce for one hour.. well, that's for sure an impossibilty but if it ever happens the guy wouldn't complain.. the same way the chick wouldn't complain but in the meantime just as the guy would make do with his chile the girl will go to work 5 days a week and pay for her own suzuki car note, but please let her share her dreams in private with her buddie! stop looking in those handbags

acolyte said...

@ kenyangal
I have known her for sometime and she was talking reality coz she always goes on about getting such a man and in fact she used to date an older man sometime back just for that purpose of being cared of and now she doesnt like it here too much as such men are hard to find.Besides why can't she dream of a job or business that will help her buy that car instead of dreaming of someone to buy it for her?
ps:I was not looking into her handbag she confides such stuff to me once in a while.

Milonare said...

Aco you burglar you... Can that same trick work with a debit card on Kenyan locks?

Jus asking...

Milonare said...

LOL at the kenyan Babas and Germans of ripa mbere ya kura LOLOL

Girl next door said...

Those B & E skills can come in handy! I penda clubs that have those early deals (although I rarely make it on time) ama a guestlist to get in for free.

About your pal wanting a man to foot the bill for a new Beamer--I wouldn't go that route coz I don't like feeling obligated. But, I've been surprised what lengths some men will go to in order to impress a woman. Typically it's older men (they can usually spare the cash) with big egos, probably bored with their lives and looking for a young trophy girlfriend to pamper. And I've even heard some young guys saying that they don't want their future wives to work ati they'll take care of them. It's a sweet thought, but in my reality it's b.s! Plus, most women want to maintain their current lifestyle or hopefully upgrade when they settle down.Or else why are we stressing to educate ourselves and jobo if it's all gonna go to waste. I think society doesn't encourage ambition in girls as much as in boys, so it all plays out years later.

acolyte said...

@ milo
Well on some Kenyan doors esp the older ones it wouldnt work but you stand a good chance with the onces which are like hotel doors.
@ girl next door
Yes I do agree that there are some idiots who make chics feel entitled to such treats.I am not against men spoiling chics but what I am against is chics refusing to pursue career advancement and skills in the hopes of getting a man to elevate them to their desired life style instead.With the falling marriage rates and sky rocketing divorces this is going to pan out in alot of disappointed women in the future....