Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Girls Gone Wild, A whack single, old sheng, crank calls and a joke

After going through my e-mail, reading the papers, my usual sites and the kbw feed I found some interesting things to share.

First things first, anyone in the States has seen those annoying Girls Gone Wild infomercials that come on late night cable.Well a reporter decided to hang out with the dude who founded the company, and if you ask me he isn't running on all 8 cylinders!You read it and tell me what you think.

Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas has released a single (London Bridge) .I watched the video this morning, now that's 3 minutes and 30 seconds of my life I will never ever get back!This track needs to be taken out of circulation ASAP!

I was flashing back to some of the sheng/slang we used when we were younger.Remember wobbler? This was the word to describe someone who couldnt do something right ie a player who always lost the ball could be called a wobbler. That remind me of cock up which was the same thing.But my all time favourite which is a bit more recent is the term mwaura, this refers to the sound someone makes when they are throwing up after having too much liqour.......mwaaaaaooooooooraaaaaah!!!!!If it was done to the point where someone seemed like they were going to throw up their guts, we would say he has called mwaura,kamau and muriuki! Anyway that enough flashing back for now.In fact since Nick has become a cock up as regards blogging, I am the defacto Flashback King!

I listen to drive time on Capital, the presenters like making crank calls; how people respond to those calls is interesting.It seems that Kenyans are a no nonsense lot!People get really heated real fast and even when told it's crank call more then half of them are still pissed off bigtime.One time an employee had the crew call his boss on the pretext that she had hit their car and driven off.She got really worked up as the Indian asked for her to report to the cop shop and on being told that it was crank call with cold confirmation she confirmed that the dude who ordered the call was her employee.I guess someone now has to find a new way to pay their rent soon!

What happens when an insect falls in a cup of coffee at an international meeting?
The British: will throw the cup into the street and leave the coffee shop for good.
The American: will get the insect out and drink the coffee.
The Chinese: will eat the insect and drink the coffee.
The Israeli will: (1) Sell the coffee to the American and the insect to the Chinese.
(2) Cry on all media channels that he feels insecure.
(3) Accuse the Palestinians, Hizb Allah, Syria and Iran of using germ-weapons.
(4) Keep on crying about anti-semitism and violations of human rights.
(5) Ask the Palestinian President to stop planting insects in the cups of coffee.
(6) Re-occupy the West Bank, Gaza Strip.
(7) Demolish houses, confiscate lands, cut water and electrity from Palestinian houses and randomly shoot Palestinians.
(8) Ask the United States for urgent military support and a loan of one million dollars in order to buy a new cup of coffee.
(9) Ask the United Nations to punish the coffee-shop owner by making him offer free coffee to him till the end of the century.
(10) Last but not least, accuse the whole world to be standing still, not even sympathizing with the Israeli Nation.

Have a nice day....

43 comments:

The Devious One said...

gimme the gold chap chap...im first...now off to read

Acolyte said...

@ devious one
Congrats!

Movie Buff said...

Devious... damn.. Do u have some inside scoop or something...???

I hate that new fergie song.... aki.. I dont even know how to explain it..... Jeez luiz....

I have heard about that drive time thingy. I think it has gotten old now and they need something new......

I heard about the GGW dude storos. i think I read that on Dlisted or something..... wasnt he tellin the reporter he wants to kiss her? I refuse to read the article you linked by virute of the fact that I have a side headache....

Couch 'tato said...

hol up wait a minute...i am the flashback guru dont take that away from me

have u noticed with ur post-ho-prowess u have even fine tuned your titling skills

Movie Buff said...

I agree.. the new titles are just the bomb!

nick said...

ngoja anonymous attacks ur flashbacks

-my best time prank was when akina teddy ngatia and munene would call in a german accent as Klaussen...there is a time they even called those "massage Parlours" revealin indeed they were brothels

-i once bought ati a sheng dictionary so that i could be with it some more back in 93

acolyte said...

@ movie buff
Nah!I just keep my eyes open!
The fergie song has to go!
The shows nowadays on Kenyan radio will still never be as good as the ones on the early days of FM radio!
Now what do sideheadaches have to do with reading?You read my post didnt you?
@ couch tato
Pole but you lost that title when you slacked on posting!
But thank you for the compliment on the titles!

nick said...

just u wait i was to do a 1986 post for bankelele...ngoja tu

acolyte said...

@ nick
Ongea tu, that post will come in 2086!

nick said...

y'all just know how to kick a brada down with Blogas Dysfunction..its not right...i tell u ...not right at all...

i bought me some herbs and my bloggin game will be back on

acolyte said...

@ Nick
Your's isnt a dysfunction, it is now a function!
I dont think smoking weed will do much help!

Msanii_XL said...

Fergie..really? really? shit sucks so much

lol @ israel bit

Movie Buff said...

You cant compare your post to that article..... yours is interesting.. ha ha...

Nick... its coz of teasing me thats why u r bila blog mojo. U no longer hold any titles.... mwahahahahahahahahahaha [I love you].

acolyte said...

@ msanii
That track is an excercise in mediocrity!If you see it, turn off your t.v!
@ movie buff
As for Nick.The man needs your attention so as to be able to rise to the occasion!

nick said...

LOL-humble are those who fall but they shall surely RISE again.

@M.buff-buff me back to function!

Movie Buff said...

Attention?? How much more attention can I give him? I am handaing him at someone else's blog... WTH??????

Nick... oh really? this I gotsa see

acolyte said...

@ Nick
In your case the word should be ressurect!
@ Movie buff
It seems that your strokes arent doing the trick!Work harder!

nick said...

hahahahaha can we take this convo to my blog ala i need my comments to shoot up as well...operative word being shoot up..when i came here there were 2 comments and looky looky now..we should do a blog pool...one evenin comments at buffer..next urs and next 5days at the blogger needin a comeback more than 3T/MJ/Travolta combinned

@movie buff:oh yes the best buffin is at someone else's blog

Archer said...

I'm enjoying this little exchange. keep going...

acolyte said...

@ Nick
With the drought of posts on the feed I don't think that we are needed!The comments will come if you post!

acolyte said...

@ Archer
Feel free to join in!

nick said...

ive been thinkin of a bloggers revival-can i get a witness( M.Buff in the background screamin 'A-Men-preach it brada preach it!') all the old bloggers have seriously disappeared...i thot it was just me bilas...(M.Buff chantin 'mmmm hmmm say it!')

we need a revolution
we need a revival

(M.Buff yellin 'Say it!')

We need an uprising! My sista an Uprise!

(M.Buff sayin 'aint that the truth-say it!')


damn this coulda been my post!

nick said...

@archer acha kusikia shy!Archer acha kunyamaza, haki Archer Acha kukimya, Archer acha tu..feelanga free join in

Movie Buff said...

LOL aco.. ati work harder? I dont know what else I can do..... I am wits end and I dont think its the strokes

@ Nick .. shoot up?? What shoots up? What? Am I missing something here???

Archer said...

I'm on the receiving end of a very eh... enjoyable back massage from a very lovely young lady! Tulieni kidogo.....

nick said...

@buff:(M.buff wipin off lips monica lewinsky style askin innocently kleenex in hand "shoot up? whats shoot up")

ok i kill me damn i'm funny...and for that Movie Buff ye of sound strokes i graciously invite u to be a member of looneymates.blogspot.com

@this has got to be a blog record of continuous convo...im happy to be a part of it like one we used to have with Blog Retirees Milo and Guess-may the rest in peace!

Movie Buff said...

Damn! I been caught... Ok I confess......

*still wiping mouth*...

looneymates... lol.. it looks like it hasnt been updated in a minute!

nick said...

@archer: Archer,acha arching your back in bliss..be cool and keep ur arrows in the quiver...no more shooting will be tolreated by movie buff up in here!

Archer said...

Haiya, I'm done. Personal opinion: me thinks the KBW geriatrics all conspired to go on hiatus to see if KBW could survive without them. Me thinks the next generation has done well, I'm enjoying the kind of non-sycophantic relationships we've all formed. Don't hate me coz I said it.

nick said...

@movie buff:talk to me kando i'll give u the password and u can do a post..can u see aco was at it them days..postin away
but yes you are now a looneymate!

@Aco:hell give me ur password as well im takin over this blog

Movie Buff said...

Archer... I could not agree more.. I think the new faces and some old led by Aco have doing a good job....

Nick.. See you kando???? ha ha... I wanted to say something abt that statement but I'ma chill!

Archer said...

@Nick: the mikuki are safely in the quiver! Interesting seeing you and Aco competing for Movie Buff's attention. My dear, si you tell them that Archer is sweeter than Sospeter & cooler than Wafula? Not to forget hotter than Harry Potter?

bbc news said...

"KBW geriatrics all conspired to go on hiatus to see if KBW could survive without them. Me thinks the next generation has done well, I'm enjoying the kind of non-sycophantic relationships"

sycophantic relationships LOL

nick said...

LOL we even kicked out the owner of the blog

anyway you guys nimeenda kulala
@archer:LOL squared ati sweeter than sospeter.....classic!
@M:buff:kando dada kando..and u've missed a spot hapo kwa mapua
@Aco:Su casa is our casa...u were a gracious host...till keshos post!

KWAHERINI..the geriatrics have to have their rest

Movie Buff said...

Nani kama Archer?? Eh?? NANI!!!!!!!!!

Archer is sweeter than Sospeter & cooler than Wafula? Not to forget hotter than Harry Potter?

LOL.. that damn near killed me!

@ Nick....Sleep well my dearest dear!

@ Aco.. I promise I am leaving now.... :-)

MOCHA! said...

So this is where Nick has decided to cure his blog block.....shame on you mate!!! LOL!!!

As for you devious one.....nione kando!

Now, back to you Aco and your post.

That Fergie single is indeed WACK!!! Ati London Bridge....EEEEWWWW!!! One minute into it I had to switch off. I wouldn't be surprised if it is number one here. Just to piss people off like the 'Crazy Frog' tune.

As for old sheng words, how about KUDUFF meaning swimming/to go swimming. I said that to my bro the other day. He just laughed at me and how old school I sounded. LOL!!!

Drive time??? People still listen to Capital Online?

The joke......weirdly hilarious! LOL!!!

bankelele said...

Nick: a 1986 post for bankelele?! what!

acolyte said...

@ Nick
I see ya'll took over my post when I left!But you are not taking over this blog I tell you!
@ movie buff
I can see you are breathing some life into the geriatric!Keep it up!
@ Archer
I see you have company to help allieviate your suffering.Get well soon and holla!
@ BBC
Good to see that we are holding it down and you approve!
@ Mocha!
That single is W for whack!I remember duff very well!As for Capital, it still has a strong listener base online so it's going to be online for a minute!
@ bankelele
I was thinking the very same thing too!

nick said...

@bankelele:remember u were celebrating a certain 20yrs reunion and i said i would do a 1986 and deicate it to u...nagi u've disowned like that now i ssound like one of my stalkers!

The Devious One said...

@ Mocha...I was there in kandoville...and you were not !!! < nini hii ???

@ Movie Buff, you know Aco updates his blog like every other hour kama peeps huko VOK so thats the secret to my getting mingi gold medals for bing fao in his blog !!

And as for Nick, kula three Actals Haliborange bottoms up...that oughta get rid of the Blogas Dysfunction !!

Mablogus yakiendelea... give Aco a good kick, it wont help with the problem but it will give U some sense of self gratification for him putting you down

Acolyte said...

@ Nick
Your project take so long to materialise mpaka the subjects forget!
@ Devious One
Damn I havent heard the word VOK in such a long time!
Ati Nick kick me?Dude has enough trouble walking!

Anonymous said...

The American: Make a scene and demand free coffee for the rest of life or they'll sue.
The Chinese: Won't notice.

acolyte said...

@ Anonymus
Nice one!I should edit the joke!