Wednesday, October 25, 2006


This is what you have all been waiting for......a collabo from the Dynamic Duo of The Acolyte and Nick!It doesn't get any better than this!

John had come of age, his voice had started becoming deeper, he had become taller, stronger, discovered the soft parts of girls were for more than hitting and he had discovered one other relations!

He found his loins stirring whenever he watched the video vixens writhing invitingly, dipping it low and doing the dutty wine as he watched Channel O. In fact the more the more frenzied the writhing became, the harder the stirring in his loins became! He viewed girls in his class in a whole new light..sure he pretended to ignore them…sure he acted indifferent and distant…but his mind had evil thoughts!He found that he spent more time looking at girls’ chests instead of faces when they talked to him. But he was still ignorant when it came to bedroom matters until he met Mike.

Mike took him to a quiet cyber cafe. He sat them down by a computer and typed in a url pretty fast and what popped up on screen made John draw a deep breath and his heart missed a beat..

He was amazed and overjoyed! He almost exploded with delight there and then…all of a sudden the Jackson’s “ What a feeling What a feeling" song came to mind he was just about ready to erupt!

"This is what I have been missing," he exclaimed out loud. It was one thing reading about it…another imagining-as he so often did as he had his moments in the bathroom. One of those “polishing the rocket” moments.
Clicking on different thumbnails would call up short videos of different erotic encounters that John didn't even know were humanly possible. Mike kept changing from vid to vid sometimes forwarding through the campy dialogue but John wanted to savour every moment. Occasionally other patrons would hear the sound of John slapping Mike’s hand and begging him “ ebu u chill, I finish!”

Mike wasn’t too sure what kind of beast he had just unleashed. John had obviously been turned on…at one point he held onto Mike’s jeans to which he reacted “Wee bana, it’s of how?!” He was scared for John who looked like he was on heat and would mount anything. John was blushing, and his grunting was louder than the speakers and began thrusting his crotch at the desk . John didn’t even care, he had found his sweet forbidden fruit and wanted a big bite! When Mike announced that money had run out and it was time to go…John was deeply depressed.

When John went home that day he was a new man. That evening he pounced on his pillow and violated it with new found positions and zeal as he sang “when I hit your G-Spot baby I wanna hear you moan and groan in delight!”. Again another “polishing” moment ensued in the bathroom. Soap was used to cleanse out his inner demons via his outer demon. Shaken and stirred, battered and beaten John and Johnie went to sleep.

The weekend finally came and John went to church with his born again sister.He normally groused about having to go to church with her, but since he knew he would get to go to a cyber cafe with her after the service he was to his parents' surprise rather willing that Sunday.

The service couldn’t have been any longer for John that day. Time was moving at a snail's pace. When it was over he was annoyed that his big sister was exchanging niceties with the rest of the Worship Team after church instead of leaving.
The next service began and John's sister said good bye to her friends and told him that it was time to leave. John's sister had a boyfriend who was on a missionary trip in Canada so every Sunday she would go to the cyber cafe to write him long e-mails about what was going on in their church and how much she missed him but was being comforted by God's grace in his absence (that is what he recalled when he peered over her shoulder to see what she was writing). Not to mention he had read about her regretting some incident that took place while they were picnicking at Tigoni, she had felt wrong and unholy about certain frolickings that day but surprisingly her guilt had been overcome by pining for him, hence she was waiting for him to return anxiously. John did not know what first, second or third base was, but he knew his sister had those merit badges because somewhere in her email she had said “she couldn’t wait for him to return to pin it on her!”
He had intended to ask his scout master if those were also applicable to Scouts or just Girl Guides!

Oh, how Maggie longed to be cupped once again, she missed being nibbled on, she missed being caressed and fondled and…She missed the rushed moments and the slow…the gazing into each other’s eyes…how he stroked her hair…she wanted to be taken.
Oh wait…back to John…

At the moment he had his focus on his new-found joy that made him feel dirty and unholy yet seemed to liberate the demons that he harboured deep within him. He couldn’t wait to log on and get turned on.

They walked into the cyber cafe which was half empty with soft christian music wafting from the speakers attached to the wall. The cashier greeted John's sister warmly and directed her to a computer.This was his chance. John gathered his guts and spoke up; asking for a computer for himself. Indeed he was a new man.

His sister looked at him then thought it would be good to keep him busy as she typed her missals to her boyfriend….the love of her life…the man she had given her flower to…the man who she wanted to sire her twins …and pluck every string in her violin over and over again!

Oh wait…back to John…

The day he had been waiting for had come and John could hardly stop himself from trembling with excitement. He sat down at his computer which was on the other side of the room away from his sister and other eyes that may intrude on his private moment.
He thought hard and remembered the address that Mike had typed in the browser and hurriedly keyed it in.

The action was so hot that he hunched over the monitor, sweat forming on his brow which was folded in concentration. He started licking and smacking his lips. Shifting his weight in the chair. His crotch seemed to awaken and was bulging in E-PrICk proportions. He needed some form of release. His hands were fidgety…on the mouse…rubbing on his legs… on the keyboard… pressing against his “demon” as he tried to restrain himself. He clicked on various icons…as he discovered various categories..he couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing…he particularly enjoyed the ebony beauties…he did not know what to do…He had seen a whole new world with new horizons to pursue…and trust me if push came to shove he was gonna be a shooting star…he’ll have “come” so far... and cant go back to where he used to be…. He felt an Armageddon-like uprising. His heart was beating faster…his blush had imprinted a smirk on his face that had guilt smeared all over his face. He needed sexual healing…he was hot just like an oven, he couldn’t hold it much longer…he was being carried away by the waves of desire which were rising and rising.

"John! What are you doing!" he heard his sister's shrill voice say. He turned around shocked, wondering what the problem was. He wiped the drool at the side of his mouth as it dawned on him that the entire cyber had their eyes on him. No more Gospel music in the air, just a defeaning silence and what sounded to be…wait…his speakers! It was then that he heard the animal moans of the Latina chick being worked on by the Black stud that he was watching, loud and clear over the speakers. Quickly he logged off. He could barely look at his livid sister and the elderly cyber-cafe attendant that had baked him every birthday cake since he was 5. She had an expression of total annoyance and disappointment.

To add to this his woody was as obvious as a windsock on a desserted but windy air-runway. He walked out head held low. The other head pointing in the general direction of the door, he arched backwards and even putting his hands in his pocket couldn’t hide it!

John had become a victim of H.I.P.P.I.E ( Horniness Increasing People's Problems ImmEnsely)!

Let us know if you want to know what happened when Angie became a victim of Hippie!
This is a joint Acolyte and Nick 2006 production.


Anonymous said...

First! I hope. Will comment later.

Archer said...

I thought I was here to claim my rightful place at position 1 but Aegeus beat me to it! Damn you!

Comment to follow shortly.

Archer said...

Nick & Aco collabo?! I have no doubt what you two lunatics can get up to when left idle!

LOL @ “polishing the rocket”,
"Soap was used to cleanse out his inner demons via his outer demon. Shaken and stirred, battered and beaten John and Johnie went to sleep" ,
"…and trust me if push came to shove he was gonna be a shooting star…he’ll have “come” so far..." ,
" H.I.P.P.I.E ( Horniness Increasing People's Problems ImmEnsely)!" *are you sure Milo wasn't involved in this?*

Of course we want to know what happened next!!

kenyangal said...


kenyananalyst said...

That you both have a fertile imagination is now certain. But that you now both need some rehab is no longer in doubt.

mocha said...

just warming up my comment sit. will be back!!!

kenyananalyst said...

Aco, this bit to my comment was eaten up by blogger: "...For a while I thought I was re-visiting Mailu et al, he whom I and several others read...of course beneath our desks in primary and high school. Teach me again...was that pulp or popular literature? I don't what you will characterize that as having been. All I'll tell you is that I met my high school literature teacher last month. And he was still very proud of me. Thanks for the memento, if nothing else."

egm said...

Kweli, Johny come lately, eh? Good stuff! And as Archer says, what happened next? And yes, Angie's story is being waited for.

Princess said...

Niiiicely done gentlemen!!!

Ichiena said...

Yaani, I've laughed, weeped and shaken my head in disbelief. I am convinced that after you guys were done there were several "E-PrICk proportions" crotches on this earth and you nicely decided to "polish the rockets".

Sunny D said...

That was very well written... soft porn kando :-)
Can't wait to read what happens to Angie!!!!
I do remember the Mailu days and the "dear bottle" :-)

acolyte said...

@ aegeus
@ archer
Pole sana but you know we had to do it!Milo wasnt part of this but bila shame we jacked his acronym style.Part 2 is about another mama in a similar situation.
@ Kenyangal
@ Kenyananalyst
We are still in a state of denial!David Mailu could write soft porn and books for kids at the same time!He was one swell piece of work eh?
Good to have given you some memories!
If I can trace Nick we can do a part 2!
@ princess
@ ichiena
Ah I see we achieved our goal!Glad that you enjoyed it!
@ Sunny D
Good to hear that you enjoyed it! Rest assured a part 2 is on the way!

Kabinti said...

lol waiting for Angie's version!

mocha said...

Now look what you have gone and done...

...every jamaa I see breathing heavily in an internet cafe, I will be wary of him, lest he is watching porn in a public area.

Nice story though, waiting for part two!!!

Prousette said...

Aco and Nick combi is not good at all!!
Please do let us know about Angie's escapades.

Marazzmatazz said...

waaaaaaa! serious sh^@! if i may say so. LOL at "polishing rocket".... this collabo i turning heads. Upwards.

deeply pertubed said...


Anonymous said...

dude, i could arrange to get you a job penning articles for some seedy magazine. great story. i cant wait for the offshoot. (pardon the pun).

alexcia said...

Aco i see your autobio is coming along just fine

Amber said...

This becomes an interesting insight into why some of the jamaas in my office do all that gross stuff. Like Kenyananalyst took me back to high school when my deskie and I would pornorize all those soppy romantic novels the others used to read. Very creative, and the innuendo, oh the innuendo... Really looking forward to Angie's escapades...