Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Love Conquers All! And Other Rants About Women

I was talking to a chic the other day and she was telling me that, when you are dating someone and you are meant to be and love each other; no matter what happens, the love that you share for each other will help you overcome the circumstances that you face.

There was this other girl who said something to the effect of when you meet the one who loves you as much as you love them, things in the relationship and life will move so much smoother.
I am not going to even touch on the "Prince Charming coming to save me from life", idea some other women have.

What I want to know is that who feeds women this rubbish? What's sad is that most women actually believe it?!

Anyway, the silly season is coming aka Valentine's and it will be interesting to see how many men will be put through the wringer for not getting the right kind of gift. If the flowers aren't enough, the right color, the jewels too small, not the right cut or not as nice as the ones her friend got; you are in trouble young men out there. This is a make or break time for many relationships, screw all the good deeds you did during the last year; this is make or break time! There is a blogger who said she would dump her boyfriend if he didn't get her a Valentine's gift, in spite of the status of their relationship before that point in time. Lucky for him, he came through but I was not impressed that she was going to stake all they had on that one day.

Since I am ranting about women I might as well hit at some gal pals out there. Why is it that girl's give their pals so much power and stake in their relationships, even though half of the chics have their own agendas and give bad advice. Your girlfriend will always have this single friend who last had a man when Kenya Times had a distribution of several thousand copies per day, yet she is the loudest one when it comes to giving advice and dictating the direction of the relationship. This girl doesn't know what she is talking about half the time and the other time her advice is filled with bile, but she will be given a faithful hearing each time.

Now onto my last rant, why is it that women don't listen when they are told about certain men they want to date? A chic can be told that a dude is a serial killer, but for some reason or other some small voice in her head will tell her that her love will turn him into a good man. Only for her to bitterly learn the truth when he is busy hacking her into little pieces to feed his pigs. Point in hand, there was this character in Nai called Ngugi the Rapist (Name changed for my safety). If I was a woman being introduced to this man, and I knew that was his name on the streets was, I would gather my skirts in one hand and head for the hills! But lo and behold, this dude used to get dates and last time I was being told he even had a girl friend. If a rapist can get a chic, no man out there has an excuse.

Disclaimer: This isn't a blanket condemnation of women. If you know you dont fall in the list of women mentioned just add the word some in front of the word women wherever it appears in this post!


Aizoh said...

Valentine's doesn't bother me.We settled that. She knows well enough not to even mention that bullshit to me.I know this chic who was bent on straightening up a jobless good for nothing layabout who was fond of using her as a punching bag especially during parties. I guess he wanted to prove a point to his friends seeing as she was the one with the money. Last time I heard, they were doing a wedding. Chics never learn I tell you!

bankelele said...

Personally, I will gladly do dinner on the 13th or the 15th but I will not pay/play to the charade of dressing red, roses, over-priced dinners & gifts that is February 14th.

Chatterly said...

Valentine will come and pass me by just like a kawa day. that bullcrap about prince charming saving damsel in financial/mental/self blahblah distress comes from reading & believing all the schei├če in mills and boons, harlequin romance novels and reading books/magazines that tell you how your man should treat you - well, we know that your man ought not hit ya or treat ya like dirt but we also know that you ought not go bonkers just coz your dude did not give you that princess cut set on a platinum ring for valentines, and he did not whisk you away to Tahiti just for a night....some women?!?!!!
And about those who go for *bad guys* ati its the thrill - how thrilling is it when your boyfie called Butcher Joe bangs your head against the wall every time he gets drunk? Dont tell me you can squeeze in some orgasms at that time - there is no thrill...not even a pinch of it.
eh lemme stop b4 i blog on your blog :-)

Archer said...

Boy am I glad to be single at this point in time. Wacha I sit back and watch as my pals bend over backwards to prove their "love" for their significant others.

Unyc said...

SOME women can really be blinded by love. Thats y most of them still stay in r/ships where they r abused, cheated on...
As 4 Vals, just goin out with my galfrnds n thats it. Just cant wait 2 hear of domes resultin from 'cheap' gifts and '3-star' hotel dinners...lots of break ups on the way!!

Archer said...

I'm wondering, kwani love has a price tag? Back in the day when our folks were broke ass university students si they used to go sit on the grass at Uhuru Park and have kenchic and fanta, have a rao on the boats and call it a day? Everything is so commercialized these days.

Movie Buff said...


Women amuse me. I especially love when they get pissed coz they did not get what they wanted for Vals... I mean seriously...

OH! Oh! Lets not forget the heffas who want to be on the receiving end... always want gifts, bills to be paid, ... sijui what and they cant even give a dude head *smh*

What is the world coming too?

Anonymous said...

The worst time of the year for any serious relationships is just about now, when all the hitched womenfolk have all these unrealistic expectations. It's just so damn frustrating to have a significant other just about now, coz trust me...you won't get it right. Either the stuffed animal will be of the wrong color or the roses abit withered, just like you alluded. Oh!... the restuarant might also be abit cheap. Am bracing myself for the worst, and would advice all the brothers out there to do the same!

Wacha tu said...

Aizoh--don't be so sure.

Even if you dodge the vales bullet theres the maze of birthdays, anniversaries, xmas, mother's day, thanksgiving etc.

Why can't she be satisfied with a credit card?
Guess its too much work getting yourself the "perfect" gift!!

kipepeo said...

ha ha...valentines...the color in itself...red...read death and destruction!!! I hate valentines day...we all know its going to be flowers, chocolates and all the rest of the cliche stuff...and yet everyone acts all suprised as if they didn't see it coming!! Humans are interesting creatures. lol at running into the hills...that had me in stitches!

Mimmz said...

You men commenting out here, if you have daughters or should you have daughters in the future, your influence on her/them will determine if they can honestly say SOME women as far as this post goes. Don't normalize abuse for her/them at home and insist they error on the side of losing a good man versus staying with a Dumb ass idiot, when the choice avails itself. Plus marry the woman who isn't one of these women mentioned in this post :) (positive, good head on shoulders influence for the girls)

Anonymous said...

As a woman and an anonymous one to this post as well, I have always wondered what makes "us" women settle for being the stupid one....... until a male friend of mine put it this way...."why does a really ugly guy end up with a really fly chic"okay beauty isin the eye of the behold.......buy sometimes ulgy is just that UGLY.....behold, beholding beheld. Sometimes Ugly is ugly. so how do they en up together? Never underestimate the power of sex. I had no more questions to ask. How else can you explain, "the beauty and the beast" scenarios!

Girl next door said...

Valentines like many other holidays is way overdone. Not expecting anything. I don't care for roses or teddy bears, but chocolates and wine are welcome anytime:)
Most chics don't want to listen to advice when they're with a messed up dude--they'd rather learn the hard way. So sad.

Ndungu said...

Beauty and the Beast scenarios.
Ugly will always be seen as ugly. BUT money will change that ugly looking person too sth more acceptable.
Don't forget the Sugar Daddy you once had.

Acolyte said...

@ aizoh
It is good to know that you and the mami have an understanding. As for the girl who was bent on straightening out the jobless dude, I am sure she will learn the truth when it is too late to do anything abou it.
@ bankelele
That is a wise decision you save yourself the money and the drama that comes with going out on that day.
@ chatterly
I agree that women need to be a bit more level headed when it comes to Valentine's and dating in general. A bad boy is just that a bad boy, he will never change!
@ Archer
I too am happy that there is nothing much I am going to do over Val's. Things have changed, nowadays it is no romance without finance; pure and simple!
@ Unyc
I think it is sad that many women let men get away with so much. I think that is a good thing to do other than sitting home having a pity party.
@ movie buff
For many women, vals is the alpha and omega of all days.
It is coz of women like that that I just dont bother dating in the first place, if you cant take me as I am and you do the bare minimum; you should just bounce!
@ Anonymous
I do think there are some level headed women out there but too many take things over board about this time of year. I do think if your chic goes psycho despite your best efforts, you need to give her the boot ASAP!
@ wacha tu
The difference between birthdays and vals is that vals is structureed, there are certain gifts and gestures expected at this time. You have more latitude over birthdays but over vals you have fewer choices and less space to manouvre.
@ Kipepeo
I aim to please! I too think Vals has been taken too far!
@ mimmz
I agree with you that men need to give a good example at home for their young sons and daughters.
@ Anon
I do agree that opposites attract but I dont think it is all about sex, I just think that it is the power of complimentary attributes ie brain and brawn.

Acolyte said...

@ ndugu
Money is indeed the great equaliser!

Milonare said...


Mahaters of Vals are those on the Bilas Train!

Milo scurries off given he has a Vals date

mbolewa said...

I thank god valentines is a fixed date.Was colleing in the land of madiba,dating a chickd from swazi land of msati sme years back.She had looks that could kill&could have missed the kings eyes by a whisker in the parade.Chick tells me ,its her bigday,kazaliwa binti.So being an associate in part of her date life,i gathered the scarce resources and got her enough chocs and other assorted gifts.Later in the year,was told she was born again in two months ,this time to a nigerian date.i was not amused,retired my jembez.chicks in that part of the world are soo petty.

mbolewa said...

I thank god valentines is a fixed date.Was colleing in the land of madiba,dating a chickd from swazi land of msati sme years back.She had looks that could kill&could have missed the kings eyes by a whisker in the parade.Chick tells me ,its her bigday,kazaliwa binti.So being an associate in part of her date life,i gathered the scarce resources and got her enough chocs and other assorted gifts.Later in the year,was told she was born again in two months ,this time to a nigerian date.i was not amused,retired my jembez.chicks in that part of the world are soo petty.

Prousette said...

Val's is just like Christmas too much hype and very little substance to it.
But it's all good let the florists, chocolate vendors and whoever else profits from it keep on minting money from unsuspecting people.

There are women who think of themselves as saviors; bringing out the best out of those people with wonderful names like Ngugi the rapist. Ouch!

Lola Gets said...

Your post made me think about my recent Vals experiences, and I realized...I havent had any! I havent had a date/man on Valentines day - hell, even in the month of February - in 5 years! Thanks for the memories! Grrrr.