Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Banned, Babies and other things

I came across this wonderful site that lets you know if your url is can be accesed in China and you can find out by doing a test run. Sadly 25% of the world have been knocked out of my potential fan base by the Chinese government. That is a vile human rights violation! I am going to picket the Chinese Embassy as soon as I finish this spring roll. On a serious note maybe all blogger hosted blogs are blocked to shield the people's eyes from the work of dissidents and inciters. But as long as they keep on supplying cheap electronics and goods, Uncle Sam isn't going to say anything; that much I assure you.

Moving on, I was looking at my yahoo messenger friends list and I saw the name of a friend I hadn't heard from in eons, so I decided to drop her a line; you know the usual "Hi, how are you doing?" email. So she answers, "Still working in the same place. No husband, no baby."
When I read that mail I was like wtf?! I didn't ask you that but you decided to share the info anyway. I knew this chic from my church days, yes The Acolyte had a church phrase before he went to the darkside. She was wifey material so it was sad to hear that she had broken up with her boyfriend but back to the crux of the story. I'm just sick and tired of people invalidating someone's other achievements in life because they have gotten to a certain age and are single and childless. I do believe that we exist on this earth for more than just popping out brats. Here is another thing that makes my blood boil. Anyone on this earth who knows me well knows I am anti-kids. Yes this seed here is never going to be planted (that has been the cause for some relationships in my life not really taking off). So whenever I start talking to someone, they ask my opinion on having kids and I give them my answer. I get inane replies like;

" You are going to change your mind just wait....."

" When you have your own kids you will fall in love with them...."

"What kind of life is that? Just living for yourself?"

and the classic........"Who will take care of you when you grow old?"

First of all, I know myself. I came up with this resolution when I was around 17-18 and it is still strong as ever. It's my mind and I try to follow the example God gave in the good book, " I changeth not," let's see if you can find that in the Bible. I have a 4 year old niece, she is cute and all but if I had to go through everything my sister goes through in the name of rearing kids; I would take a sledgehammer to my nuts (after having an orgy of course). The other answer is like telling someone, you can't stand meat but give it time, after you buy some you will become a carnivore of sorts. I'm sorry but I sure am not that pliable. As for living life for myself, I do intend to make the world a better place but anyone will tell you that once you have kids; that is the end of your life as you know it. You have to make sacrifices, so let me stick to bettering the world and enjoying my life while I am at it. As for who will take care of you when you are old, I know loads of old people in Kenya who have loads of kids but nothing to show for it; so kids are a poor investment policy better have a good pension plan and put yourself in a good old age home or live hard and die young. Anyway I just had to get that off my chest, these baby-holics do get to me at times.

Soon I am going to share some of the foibles that make me very undate-able but let me share this interesting but disturbing thing that a girl I was dating once did. Many bloggers ie Nick aka photo lover, know that few pics of the Acolyte are in active distribution and this is because he dislikes being taken pictures of despite him having some skills behind the camera. Anyway there was this girl I was dating who hounded me for some pics so I referred her to this networking group online where we were pals that I had some pics on, and asked her to help herself as I had no new pics to share with her. So one day I go to see her and she says she has something to show me on her laptop. I then sit next to her and wait to see what this gift is. Well she logs into her account and shows me the wallpaper she made, she had taken her favourite picture of me, made it into a motif/pattern playing with the colors in some while having it alternate with some picture of the mara I had sent her, with two large mirror images of my pic in the middle. And yes I had told this chic time and again that I do not like being taken pictures of (only for official purposes) but she went ahead to do what she wanted to do. Yes, I was told she had the best intentions at heart but that was just a bit too much enthusiasm for me. There were no long term prospects for me there so to prevent feelings from being hurt, I began Operation Fast Fade a few months earlier than planned. Better safe then sorry is what I always say!


Milonare said...


Could this be Milo in pole position?

Aizoh said...

Operation fast fade eh? That's what you use when you smell the ultimate hook up? Well Aco, one thing I do know is that it's easy at first when they are just there for the shag just like you. But as time goes by and they start wanting babies you will need to get meaner and more cruel each time you want to fade.Unless of course you forever keep fishing from the same age pool of under 20s.

Milonare said...

Milo is also not too big on kiddos. I guess its the realisation that they are a lifetime commitment once you get them... One shudnt get into that unless they are ready!
Lemme check if Xiao Ming Pong can read and comment on my blog!!!

Nakeel said...

Kids are lifetime committment and you have to carefully plan about them or else you will always keep cursng having them.

Lol at Aizoh fishing in the same pool.

licious1 said...

My opinion of kids is not as strong as yours but I have put off having any. When and if they come so be it.

As for Operation Double F....LOL!!!

Udi said...

I want 10 kids, and a mansion with a pool. LOL. My genes are too good to go to waste.

Klara said...

LOL! Still working in the same place. No husband, no baby." That was funny!
Am into kids, someday will n someday too u will change ur mind!

3N said...

Aco you are not alone, there is a friend who will only have kids because his fiancĂ©e wants to. He doesn’t care for them either.

It’s good you pulled Operation fast fade (LOL). That chile was well on her way to making a shrine and collecting Aco memorabilia, you dodged one.

Movie Buff said...

I dont want kids

Movie Buff said...

LMAO! Damn... the chile wanted something to use when... ummm... you know.... yeah..... but then again... thats abit much!

kipsigiryo said...

Men! I finally get someone using a photocopy of my script, Babies is a NO NO for me. The only difference is i started no babying from the time i got the difference btw a baby and adult. The responses.....! cudn't agree any better. Then there is this line "kwani who will take care of your wealth when u die?" like its a holliday and u r bound to come back to your biashara.

Rant's of an angry somali man said...

usiwe hivyo acolyte don't just write them off....u never know....personally i'll start making in a years time when i'm 28 inshallah.....so wacha kunimaliza morale msee waskia?....baadhen basi!

Acolyte said...

@ Milo
Congrats! Do let me know if you are banned too!
@ aizoh
Yes it sucks when ppl start catching feelings esp when it wasnt meant to go down like that.
@ nakeel
Many ppl dont see it that way, they think they can have them and worry about them later.
@ mocha!
Well if you need practice in the meanwhile, let me know! lol!
@ udi
Good luck with that!
@ klara
Booooooooo! No kids for me!
@ 3N
There are many men in his same position but never speak openly. That chic had to be put out to pasture ASAP!
@ movie buff
You are my hero for that sentiment, how do you handle the pressure? Well even so lakini using my pic for wallpaper auiiiiiiii!!!!!!!
@ kipsi
That is funny, death as a holiday.
@ rants
Too late for me, esp here in the States; no kiddies for me at all!

Kayliz said...

haha! I agree with udi kabisa! I want ten kids and a pool. And a wife too, of course (but that's not necessarily necessary)

>d® said...

lol@ Udi.
I like kids but like u said Aco, watching others raise them is enuff to make me not wanna have my own, 4 real. They really can be little terrors sometimes.

Msanii_XL said...

Like udi...wa juniours lazima, however this not measure of anything(wait it is "my boys can swim")...lol

some pple just don't care for kids and thats that. Gotta respect that and keep it moving.

alexcia said...

Famous last words

Assuming you have double confirmed that you do not have any "lost acolettes" out there, have you by any chance booked that appointment for a vasectomy?

As for "Still working in the same place. No husband, no baby" LOL maybe you need to broadcast her details to your male friends with no job, no wife, no baby.

vedec said...

It's a wonder that the Chinese govt is still trying to censor info in this century. They are fighting an already lost battle, as it were...the blindfold fell off their wananchis eyes ages ago.
As for kiddos, best of luck in your efforts to keep the world population down, but as long as you are yet to put the slegehammer to use, and have not invested in a nutcracker...you may still end up siring. It's not always up to you y'know...unless you keep off the pond altogether!

aegeus said...

Kids...where do i begin? The number of women who have headed straight for the heels on realizing i do not harbour such tendencies. Hehehee! My poor mom, she is coming to realize i was not kidding, but she will still pile the pressure!

That issue for pics its scary when photoshop is involved yaani you can appear in rather compromising positions where you did not intend to make a cameo!

aegeus said...

Kids...where do i begin? The number of women who have headed straight for the hills on realizing i do not harbour such tendencies. Hehehee! My poor mom, she is coming to realize i was not kidding, but she will still pile the pressure!

That issue for pics its scary when photoshop is involved yaani you can appear in rather compromising positions where you did not intend to make a cameo!

aegeus said...

Blogger strikes again! Please ignore duplicate comment.

Acolyte said...

@ kayliz
Oooooh wifey always has to come first! That's the proper way to do things.
@ >d
Little terrors? Wait till they get to their teens!
@ msanii
I wish more ppl could think the way you do instead of trying to change our minds for us!
@ alexcia
You are the kind of ppl I was talking about.I have held off for all these years and if I find someone who respects that we can hook up, if not mambo ni bachelor life!
I am sure she will egt potential mates via the church.

Acolyte said...

@ vedec
With the sheer size of China I bet some ppl are still in the dark. Well I may have to resort to staying in the shallow end at this rate.
@ aegeus
Mothers can be really persistent when they want grand kids.
Good thing she isnt that skilled with photoshop or who knows?!

Dorothy said...

don't want kids? don't have them....don't even defend your position. Its all good....it is your decision, one that was probably not arrived at flippantly and even if it was, so what?....and next time they question your choices....smack them....really do just that...that should shut them up.

Archer said...

Woi Aco, all this time I thought I was getting somewhere in trying to "change" your mind about having kids. But anyway, it's one's decision and no one can force you to have one or two if you don't want to.

But as for me, two daughters and a son or two. As long as the daughters come first. In fact, if I were to get one today, me thinks I'd be a very happy man! But thats just me.

m said...

He he! Me i want world domination and the best way to go about this is to grow your own army!!!

Mimmz said...

I thought I was having a rough time being anti-marriage for myself. And kids on conditions of piles of money and nannys coz my life is not taking the back burner for them. I know your pain. People do insist that you will change your mind. I've said it before: people have a very rough time accepting such obvious differences in opinions amongst their own human kind!

Having said all that - Kijana, as a dude, you only have 85% control over that decision. You'll meet a psycho and she will get pregnant. I know you're counting all the ways you won't but unless you have had a vasectomy... ogopa the crazy woman!

Acolyte said...

@ dorothy
nice to get some support! I think I will have to resort to that at this rate!
@ Archer
Well I am sure you will make some chic out there a very happy baby mama!
@ M
I am waiting for cloning to kick in that's when I will make my own army!

egm said...

On vasectomy, I know this guy who was married, but ended up divorcing after some years. They already had a daughter. Dude decided he did not want to ever have to put another child through that mess again, so he went and got a vasectomy. At 27. Insurance wouldn't pick up the tab (due to his young age), so he had to pay for it out of pocket. But he says he'd much rather that than father more kids.

sassy said...

i have a daughter and i wouldnt trade her for anything in the world. But you are entitled to what you believe in and if its no baby-then go for it.
but i do agree with Nakeel having babies is a lifetime commitment that should be taken seriously

Girl next door said...

Didn't realize state control in China went that far.

That "no husband, no baby" message is a depressing way of looking at life. Pressure from family can also contribute to make a person feel there's something wrong with them. Things happen at different times so there's no sense rushing into serious lifetime commitments. I strongly agree with your statement:"I do believe that we exist on this earth for more than just popping out brats." Those who want to get kids should but those who opt not to pass on their genes should also be given space.

I feel a bit sorry for the chic who made the wallpaper with your picture. Talk about enthusiasm! I confess to doing the same thing--but only with pics of celeb crushes.

Kirima said...

An interesting fact is that of all the guys I know who have kids today only like 1 or 2 actually went out looking to have them. I guess whether I want to or not if some one is intent on propagating my genes I have no choice unless I chop off .........

Acolyte said...

@ egm
I give full marks to that dude for taking matters in his own hands!No pun intended!
But that was a wise decision!
@ sassy
I have no problem with people who choose to have kids freely but I do have a problem with those who make the choice for us and disregard our opinions on the issue and yes kids are a full time committment!
China are on a level of their own I tell you!
I do agree that people need to expand their horizons.
Making or downloading wallpaper with celebs pics is one thing but making one of someone is a whole nother ball game!
@ kirima
Sadly men often dont have a say in the issue if the woman they are with puts their mind to it. So you have to be very careful who you lay with!

Rista said...

Aco, I see you're doing well :-) Happy easter by the way. Yes! that whole baby issue, and people acting like you'll go straight to hell for not reproducing... and yet no one will be there to saidia you when they (babies) come. Let me leave it there (as I wipe the foam off corners of mouth). You, mimmz and kirima touched on a VERY important point: unless jamaaz are careful (even paranoid!) about where their sperm is at all times, they'll inevitably find themselves baby daddies. We women gets that determined sometimes. Ever see the story of the chile (in stato) who was having (only) oral relations with a guy, and sued him a year later for child support? Kid was his. Fear women who decide they want your kid upende usipende.

Majonzi said...

there should be a price for last comment on articles-- and I wud def get that one ;)

anyways, onto babies. My reasons are different from yours. While I agree that our success shouldn't be gauged on whether we are married with children, I don't feel that having a child is really a sacrifice or a compromise. There are too many children in this world, too many that need a home, a real home, so I will raise one (or more depending on how much I can afford) as my own.

Besides, I am not ready for the pain of birthchild. Interestingly, I think women who don't want to have children have a harder time than men since we are considered natural mothers (gasp!)


what one more amongst friends..dunno about the kids..i think they are cheaper than the child support i hear...

Acolyte said...

@ Rista
Now that mama was just plain harsh! I agree people are fast to tell you to have kids but when time for jobo checks in your are on your own.
@ majonzi
I support you fully in your goal of adoption, there are many kids who need a stable home out there! But to me having kids will always be a sacrifice.
@ kg
I have heard people say that it is cheaper to keep her, lol!

gishungwa said...

Kids i have always loved them esp when i can give them back. LOL at M's word domination. i think such decisions should be a personal decision without pressure from parents relatives et al.

aegeus said...

M! ROTFL! ...world domination...hmmm!!