Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Mid Week At Last!

I have been so busy lately that I just realized that I missed NO PANTS day, oh well; I guess I shall get round to it next year...

I was kicking back the other day and realized that for the first time in a long time I dont have any close cynical gal pals (I'm not counting off-line pals). I came to this realization when I remembered a phrase used by 3 different harsh chics I have known, "They're so in love that it's disgusting!"
A statement to which I usually nod vigorously, 'cause I think falling in love with no abandon is a set up for future pain and I am always proved right (but that's a story for another day). Usually I was so tight with my partners in cynicism that people would think we were dating but that wasn't the case because for some reason or other 2 hardcore cynics don't seem to have any chemistry at all. Although I do remember an incident when I was with one of my cynic gal pals and this other chic who was my pal decided to show this other chic that she could test her will by coming over and sitting next to me. There was some thick tension on that table I tell you! It was like the 2 gals wanted to see who would back down, I decided to save face for both of them by announcing my departure. Hmmmmmmmm come to think of it I guess the close proximity of some of these gals in my life co-related with my forays onto the bilaz train because it takes a strong gal to be close to a guy when she thinks his close gal pal is a b****h. Ladies, why can't we all just get along?

In other news, I have now added one more place I won't pick the future Mrs Acolyte from after reading this article. The image of The Acolyte being totally subservient, with the resolve of an earthworm or running around screaming for his wife when she is away or hiding in the marital home like recluse is a terrifying thought! Reminds me of the Concubine when Ekwueme who was in love with Ihuoma went mad after his young wife used a love potion on him. That reminds me, I'm going to think again before going to eat chapatis at a girl's house especially if they weren't made in my presence.
Have a charm free day people!


egm said...

Love portions can mess u up! Get CSI to go over your food and drink kabla consuming it. Better yet, get a personal taster!

alexcia said...

Could it be---it is real, i am actually in the top three?

Like the man said, "They’re not Pants they”re trousers."

Those mushy love stuck couples are lame showoffs.

Majonzi said...

"Falling in love with no abandon is a set up for future pain." u mean being critical of each other? This has been my experience, the first days everyone is on their best behavior, sooner or later everyone relaxes. And this is the test of a true relationship. I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life, so I'd best be critical, right? Isn't everyone? Ama?

Jo said...


Acolyte said...

@ egm
If mariah can have a food taster, so can I!
@ alexcia
Next year I am not going to miss it! People always laugh when those mushy couples hit the rocks.
@ majonzi
Well that is one of the things I am talking about, no-one is perfect but when people are in love they dont believe that so when reality bites things get real hard, real fast.
@ jo

mollyy said...

acolyte:-you are such a telented writter.

mocha! said...


mocha! said...


Damn, and here i was thinking i would prepare them before you landed so that you find them ready.


aegeus said...

There is a no pants day? Ah love potions...ihuoma...seco was fun!!

dooaz said...

mazee, don't you jusst love those gal pals. i loved the concubine...then madume died...bana! eish juzi i ate a chapo from a mama...thank goodness no sside effects...ama ni badaye!

3N said...

I agree that in young love people don’t criticize and learn each other enough such that when the ‘honeymoon’ is over they get disappointed at the real partner they uncover.

Those portions can’t be true. I know they wouldn’t work on me, but to be safe I am avoiding any chile from Imenti.

Anonymous said...


Smh, not fairrr! first off,..that is my shags!!!! That is my shags!!!!! Auuiiii...I know that mama of portions. Her name was Goodie I think...something like it. Thats what people would call her. She was Indian kinda sorta. Those rockets, and she ran this huge business and stuff. Meeeni she was baaad!That storo has made me laugh!!!

Half 'n' half said...

My village are FAMOUS for love portions! men ducking under beds when they see their pals couz their mama doesnt want them to go out!

Falling in love sucks! NEVER again!

Movie Buff said...

Let me just say this......

... that whole falling in love and then people think they need to bring that mushy shit in the open air gets on my nerves

Kayliz said...

No pants day? I didnt know that one existed. Can't wait for next year!
As for love portions....did anyone have horny teenage friends who were always planning for a big bash where they'd put something in the ladies' drinks. This kind of talk never came to anything, though.
'Lord' Aco, see? siko underground anymore!

Kabinti said...

Is anyone serving/selling chapos or rolex's (circa i dont remember which blogger) on the BT? Nice flashback to the concubine. I actually have a copy of the book. who remembers agwotorumbe (sp)? May the day break

Anonymous said...

Beware "duba" is very real. You've seen some of those p whipped guys following they mamas everywhere.
To avoid it, don't kula chapos specially made for you.

Acolyte said...

@ molly
Why Thank You!
@ mocha!
I am not eating your chapos unless it is buffet lol!
@ aegeus
Si we are pamoja next year for NP day?
@ dooaz
Those gals rock! Ngoja the effects kick in!
@ 3N
Portions in large amounts can work on the stomach lol! But you have to watch for the Imenti chics and their potions!
@ anon
Sorry nuthin personal but a brutha has to look out for himself. I am sure there are alreay replacements lined up for those witches! Be afraid men of Meru, be very afraid!
@ half n half
Do send me your village location, I will steer clear. I see you are now in the cynic train!
@ movie buff
I dont like watching all that mush go down but it is mucho fun to see it all collapse!
@ kayliz
I think I did blog about such chaps but since such drugs were hard to find they resolved to beer/spirits instead. Good to see you on the up and up!
@ anon
I am sure these potions exist, I am keeping tight watch on myself!

farmgal said...

"Falling in love with no abandon is a set up for future pain." this is so true my friend!

Klara said...

LOL! Desperate measures by desperate ones!!

Anonymous said...

Newly single, my choice btw, and also very newly cynical...can hardly recognise the distaste i feel when i see pple being all lovey dovey (yelch)...feel like going up to the poor folks and going "just u only gets worse" lol I think i'm on the "friends with benefits" and "while the going is good" wagon....

waxspell said...

The problem is taking away friendship from it... with frienship you'll see more objectively than romance... i can give a whole talk on that any way
ever heard of 'kukamanga' the love portion?