Friday, July 13, 2007

Hadithi, hadithi..........

What is a week without a wonderful Acolyte tale of love and passion?
There was this American girl (let's call her Jenny), who went to Kenya last year to do volunteer work. After working and enjoying Kenya for one year, she decided to invite her father to come over and revel in the beauty of Kenya. Her father flew in, they spent time together travelling and exploring the various sites. During one of his jaunts her father (let's call him Mr Smith), befriended a young girl called Wanja on the bus back to the city. Whenever his daughter was too busy with her volunteer work to spend time with him, Wanja would show Mr Smith around town town. Over time they ended up spending alot of time together and due to the gratitude Mr Smith felt towards Wanja's benevolence he would take her out once in a while and buy her a small gift here and there. The two of them became close to the point of Wanja inviting Mr Smith to her house and cooking him different indigenous Kenyan dishes.

With all the time the two of them were spending together Mr Smith began to compare Wanja to his wife of 20 years, and compared to Wanja's beautiful ebony skin, deep brown eyes, perky breasts and luscious hips Mrs Smith's with her pasty white skin, flabby bosom and poor cooking were found extremely wanting. From sampling Kenyan dinner dishes like mukimu and githeri Mr Smith graduated to breakfast dishes like njahis and uji among others.

Jenny hadn't seen her father in a month and when she got in touch with him, he told her that he was on an expedition to Tanzania but little did she know that love was being brewed in an African pot (so sue me! I have always wanted to use that phrase!). The only thing that put a damper on Mr Smith's fun was the fact that he had only budgeted to stay in Kenya for a month and not three months and neither had he budgeted paying Wanja's rent, utilities, buying her gifts, paying her brother's school fees among other expenses. He moved out of his hotel room and moved into Wanja's 2 bed room extension in South C. It was not as sumptious and the Landmark but since he was with his beloved he didn't mind one bit.

At this same time Mrs Smith got in touch with her daughter and expressed her concern and shock about Mr Smith not coming back Stateside or keeping in touch after the first month he went to Africa only to call her and say that he had found someone else and was going to be starting a new life. Jenny was frantic and went into denial when she head that, that was not the same father she knew and loved. She rushed to the Landmark hotel to look for her dad only to be told that he had left with his girlfriend. When she heard the word "girlfriend" Jenny's blood turned cold. She had stopped texting and calling her dad on his Kenyan cell phone number a few weeks back when he told her he was leaving, conveniently it seemed that his "departure" was the same time she had to travel to Northern Kenya to do some volunteer work, so she couldn't see him off but that was all old news now. The phone rang for what seemed to be hours and went straight to voice mail where Jenny left her dad a message imploring him to call her and expressing how worried she was.

Meanwhile one week passed and Mr Smith's paradise began to sour as he opened a Pandora's box by telling Wanja that he was running out of money and wanted to try and find a job so they could stay together and start a new life. Wanja's sunny demeanour turned stormy almost overnight. She appeared less and less enamoured with him, his physical advances were nipped in the bud before they began and she didn't even want to hear his stories anymore. After one week of being ignored he decided to take his luggage and go see Jenny. After being man handled in the local matatus since he was too broke to take a taxi, he finally found himself at Jenny's apartment. Jenny let him and he could see the mixture of betrayal, pity, relief and anger on her face. He narrated his situation, of course manipulating it in a way to seem like he was seduced by Wanja and how broke he was. Since he still had his ticket, Wanja had almost talked him into selling it but he had procrastinated so long that she stopped bothering him about it, so what he needed was enough money for the local flight within the States to get back home. Jenny gave him the extra money that he needed for his flight and took him to the airport. A few days later she called to talk to her heartbroken yet angry mother who was still debating whether to take her grovelling husband back or not after his dalliances with what she called his nubian whores and how the word Kenya just burns a hole in her stomach; at that point in time Jenny didn't have the guts to tell her mother that she was dating a wonderful Kenyan man.
A true story as narrated to a close source of The Acolyte.

In other news, BET decided they were going to make this show based on the premise of this website that takes a tongue in cheek look at the failings of black people as a community in America. Of course the PC crowd weren't having that and amidst protests sponsors have began to pull out. It's said that the show may be showing this (not safe for work!) clip, if so it's going to be like a car crash, you shouldn't be looking but you can't help yourself. But for real, I hope that show doesn't see the light of day, black people have enough to worry about without more one sided depraved potrayals.

I think this is the lowest level of depravity one can get to. I'm not justifying hacking up of adults but when you start killing kids, I have no pity when the police shoot to kill and not to maim members of that gang.

Other than that I have a friend who is moving into her first apartment in a week or two. Any good gift ideas that won't break the bank? Ideas would be most welcome! I was reading The pulse online and this is one of their few articles that hits the nail on the head! Whatever anyone tells you, the States is a very harsh market for musicians be they African, Asian or European. It's a very very competitive market even for Americans themselves and few suceed, I'm not saying it can't be done but if you are going to take the plunge; plan long and plan hard.

I think I have said a bit more than I usually do, nice weekend people!
Ps: Dear psycho one and psycho two, this isn't the place for your tirades that run several pages long. Keep it in the nut house; Thanks you!

26 comments:

Majonzi said...

love the story!! although pole kwa Mr and Mrs Smith. And if I was Mrs Smith, I know for sure I would not be taking the man back, kick him to the curb I would.:-D

let me follow the links to the rest of ur post

BeautyinBaltimore said...

Hot Ghetto Mess is pure trash. Thank God some sponsers are begining to pull out.

bankelele said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bankelele said...

great update to a story that has been going on since the days of Speke & Livingstone (now there are fees/bills to pay, air tickets and safaricom instad of telegrams to wife)

Eclipse said...

Brewing in an African pot hahaha Just too deadly.

Beware of the Wanja's of Kenya. I live hukuz and am scared stiff. Those chiks are just too deadly. they can flip you over and do you dry so fast u wldnt jua what hit u.

Aco glad you are BACK.

The bootyshakin clip was ... no comment

Well the backs in States cant be helped.

Seasons & Reasons said...

Hot Ghetto Mess should continue being aired.. It exposes how far the black folks in the US have come towards their road back to slavery.

Martin Luther King could turn in his grave once he sees where the African Americans are heading.

All he needs is to watch T-pain videos

Bomseh said...

These Wanjas are everywhere. I have seen Kenyans suffering down here because of Zulu Wanjas.

Rista said...

Wassup Aco.
Ati Hot Ghetto Mess?? A great case of life immitating art... or is it the other way round. Watched Spike Lee's Bamboozled jana and I couldn't make it thru the whole movie. Yaani it was that disturbing. Aaiii.

gishungwa said...

Ili iwe funzo to Mr & mrs Smith na wengine kama hao. Lakini wanja, aint saying she a godl digger but...

egm said...

Clips to be watched nyumbani. As for the Wanja-Smith saga, eh, what a mess!

Marazzmatazz said...

Dough chali yangu! Money makes the Wanjas go round! Na its funny Wanja goes with Ganji (ganja too)! Poor Mr. Smith, had to elekea back to "pasty white skin, flabby bosom and poor cooking?" But considerng the choices he had, Life's harsh!

Rashi said...

nice story..and nice blog !

keep up...

Udi said...

When Wanja dumped me for a white jamaa, I told her karma will come back to haunt both of them. LMAO. But I can totally understand that jamaas predicament. You go nyumbani and mamas there treat you like a ndume. Jungu mamas here just know how to give brain and make eggs. Damn. Hard decision to make. Wanja or Heather.

Three types of Crazy said...

@udi- lol atii wenja or heather......which authentic dish is Heather going to unleash "roast potatoes".

yaani that love stpory is "sme script, different cast"-human beings we are just strange. That is why me, I will marry an alien.Just when I find where these UFOS land......me and my mini skirt we are away. I watched this show once where Chris Rock said, "men are only as faithful as their options" but when he said, "men"- I think he meant men and women.

Acolyte said...

@ majonzi
Marriage isn't always a bed of roses I tell you!
@ binb
I hope it doesnt see the light of day too!
@ bankelele
The more things change the more they stay the same?
@ eclipse
I see you are a smart man, many a dude black or white has been taken down by the Wanjas of the world.
@ seasons and reasons
I think many people would disagree with you, what I will do is wait for the show to come out if it does and watch the drama unfold.
@ bomseh
Never trust a big butt and a smile, that is what I always say.
@ rista
I am yet to watch that movie, I will get round to it and give my opinion.
@ gish
Lol! Good one!
@ egm
That clip is best saved for home, you need your job!
@ marazzmatazz
Asiyefunzwa na mamake......
@ rashi
Thanks for passing by! It's always good to have visitors!
@ udi
Wanja has littered the roadside with broken hearts I tell you! That is the sad thing about jungu mamas, that is why I play both sides of the field!
@ three types
Matters between men and women are very hard to comprehend, at times I wonder why I even bother!
@ 3 types

Shiroh said...

Waah! That happens a lot. The gal is always Njeri.

Love brewed in an African Pot au sio

Jo said...

Nice story...can't help but think of parallel storos I have heard in the past.As for your pal, you can buy her some nice cutlery...from experience,you can never have too much cutlery...plus it will be useful one day or everyday!

Nakeel said...

What did he expect to be accomodated when the dollar is nowhere?

Girl next door said...

The Smith story is very scandalous! Wanja is just trying to survive. The comparison between her and his wife is so funny =)

Gift ideas for the buddy moving to an apartment: wine, any kitchen item. The Container Store has useful house things.

Milonare said...

The last time I heard of Love Brewed in an African Pot was kitambo!! I rem being frozen to watch that movie. Poor Mr Smith

feather said...

Interesting story. should teach us something.

Movie Buff said...

LOL.... Damn!
People make decisions based on what sometimes? I cant even do anything but love...

LOL @ Udi and giving brain!

Movie Buff said...

I meant.. Cant help but LOVE the STORY......

*smh* at my half thoughts

S.A.G.E said...

nice story.first time passerby.

Lola Gets said...

Just wanted to let you know, Im still reading you!
L

farmgal said...

This story is so typical of what happens with this junguz who go on holiday. They meet Kamau and decide to forget their kids and famoz. Its not just the Njeriz who pull such stunts!