Monday, July 30, 2007

Monday Moanings Part VII

Why does this story sound soooooo Kenyan? I am sure this has happened to some of you out there before? You go for a wedding only to be ambushed with prospective husbands and wives without nary a thought for your feelings about the whole issue?

Sadly due to some management shake up at work, the team I was in has been dissolved and we have been sent out to new teams and given new schedule. I hate my job but one thing that made it bearable was my manager, she was a hoot and she cut us alot of slack. When the new schedules were being announced one of my team members said that she wants to be on our manager's team, the only thing is that she hadn't been given a schedule yet maybe to prevent all of us from trooping to her new team. I will miss all the slack that I was being given at work, now I will actually have to follow the rules to a T. Just another reason to get out of this hell hole as fast as possible. I went to check on where my new team sits and there's a Kenyan chic on it. After the exchange of names of course came the usual question, "Oh so your last name is XXXX?, you must be from tribe XYZ; as you can see I'm a ABC."

Several thousand miles from home and some of us still see ourselves as our tribe first then Kenyans second. Anyway I'm not going to waste my energy moaning about that.

There are some things we like to deny about ourselves but we have to admit are true when we hear them from 2 separate reliable sources. My sister once told me that I have a dark sense of humour that would offend some people unless they new me, I shrugged off that comment until my small brother made the same observation the other day.
You see we were watching this show where Mo'nique was interviewing some women who were in prison and finding out what got them there and the reason why the prison population of women in America is sky rocketing. So there was this prisoner who came on and they usually spoke for a second or two before their crimes were plastered on the screen, so this woman came on and I turned to my brother and said, " I bet she's in for violent crime, most probably robbery with violence"
Sure enought that turned out to be the case, so my brother asked what made me say that. I turned to him and said;
" It's always the ones with the beady eyes and the small sharp teeth; just take a close look at her teeth."
And at that point he lauded my nack for innapropriate comments. On a side note, we had a meeting at work where some people were being recognised and some of the best performers went for a conference at the companies hq and came to share with us. So this one dude came to the stage to talk about his experiences at the conference and before he started talking, I turned to one of my team-mates and said, "He was taken to the mother ship!"
That had her and the two people seated in front of us laughing most of the afternoon.
I guess that is why I take my time before cracking a joke becauseI have to make sure I don't step on any toes. I think I shall post some of my best inappropriate comments once a week. What say you?
PS: Lest you all accuse me of ignorance we all know that physical features are no indication of ones prediliction to crime, that was a theory once sean as valid in the early 20th century but was disproved later on by modern science (I'll post the dates and full theory for anyone interested). So not everyone with beady little eyes is a criminal, just everyone with eyes.........

Speaking of eyes, this picture says it all but captions are welcome............


Seasons & Reasons said...

First here?

Let me read and come back

Seasons & Reasons said...

That story does sound Kenyan...

Our relatives will always try to hook up someone they feel are eligible.

Diddy can be forgiven for staring at those things.. I was caught looking down a low cut top absent mindlessly this weekend at a wedding. It just a guy thing

gishungwa said...

its not only a kenyan thing its everywhere when your relatives think you are now"marriageable" they feel a need to match make. i would know after 2 younger cousins are getting married and i havent shown the signs.

archer said...

Caption: Leo nitakufffffffffffyeka!!!

mudskippah said...

Caption: Diddy at The Globes.

mudskippah said...

meant Diddy at The Golden Globes.


Diddy eyes The Golden Globes.


Diddy eyes a golden opportunity.


Diddy weighs his options.


K.I.P.U.S.A said...

thanks for making my Monday....LMAO

Eclipse said...

Hahah Aco please dnt limit urself to once a week yourself.

Yeah no comment bout the chik with tribalist instincts...

As for Diddy hahaha but am sure id be caught staring same as him if i were placed to those beauties :)

Sorry bout your boss but cest la vie

hahaha ati to the mother ship....trully u got a twisted wicked sense of humour but am sure 80% of ur pals like it more than they loathe it.

kelitu said...

Diddy's thinking:

"DANG!! Now those are some tittays!! Oh shoot, hope Kim (Porter) don't see this pic. My ass gonna be in the dog house for sho' and i can't take that, take that, take that...any more...but DAAAAAANNNGGG!! Those are some tittays!!"

egm said...

Agreed on the peculiarities about us that we don't think we possess yet others plainly see. I've been called out on a couple by reliable folks as well.

N said...

At the rate i am going, my family is going to pull that stunt on me, kwanza that aunt...wacha tu.

We have quirks which of course cannot see since there is no mirror to show them to us...unless someone else points it out to us, more like the way you get used to your favourite scent and can barely smell it when you are wearing it anymore? Make sense, ah well...

Nice to meet you girls, the Golden Globes you say?...ahaa...yes lovely...pardon me? were saying?

3N said...

Caption: For the last time I go by the name TITTY!

eddiie said...

the pic is woooh!!!

It talks a lot...

Farmgal said...

men and boobs! I still dont get it!
I guess he's going like gagagagagagag -nonini style

n said...

Tatu N wawawaaa!! I like! I am B TITTI!!

The.Hanyeé said...

P it, do it, do it, do it do it ...

Lola Gets said...

I havent been here in a while - Ive missed it!

Acolyte said...

@ seasons
Karibu! I do that all the time at work, luckily I never get busted!
@ gish
I see the pressure is now on you!
@ archer
@ mudskippah
Good ones!
@ kipusa
You are most welcome!
@ eclipse
Whenever I remember I will share my offensive moments with you. Yaani jobo is boring me to the max I tell you, I feel like crying when I go to work everyday.

Acolyte said...

@ kelitu
And the way Diddy is a fisi, if he would he would hit it!
@ egm
Other ppl can see other sides of us we dont, that is what I know now.
@ n
Chunga my guy! You can never trust relatives!
@ 3N
Good one!
@ eddie
A pic is worth.........

coldtusker said...

Droool... Booobz... (Homer Style)

Frankie said...

am sure he is thinking..
"damn, are those real? can i touch to feel if they are real?"
then "oh no, the cameras"

Acolyte said...

@ cold tusker
I just posted a pic on that!
@ frankie
Diddy is bila shame I tell you!