Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tuesday Tirades II

I miss taking Matatus. Yes, I said it. I miss the camaraderie that came with the experience. I'll admit it wasn't always a party because some touts were rude as hell, the rides uncomfortable and the people next to you could be a bother in more ways than one. I remember once sitting in an Eastleigh bound matatu next to some Somali ladies and by the time I was embarking my expensive deo had been overcome by one of the brand names by the makers of Bint El Sudan.

But when the matatu rides were fun they were fun. I once recall sitting in front of some chics who had such interesting mucene that I almost missed my stop. The other ride which I may have blogged about was how in the thong hey days, I was seated behind some mama whose jeans had down while her thong had ridden up, so seeing as I know how to keep a good poker face I decided to use my peripheral vision and observe the dude seated next to me, an older arab man. The dude was virtually drooling from what I could see, but wait till the chic had to get up to disembark at the next stop so in getting up her jeans for a moment went a bit lower before she pulled them up so she showed a bit more than was expected, the dude had a big grin on his face and I'm sure he had to restrain himself from whooping for joy. Nothing beats good peripheral vision and a poker face.

Anyway I have loads of matatu tales which I will share over time as I remember them since it has been some minute since I was in one and the buses here much as they are comfy are boring as hell when it comes to human drama.

Is it just me or do African women have the knack for choosing the worst weaves ever? For real though, I can't tell you how many times even out here I have recognized African women due to their hair dos. Please look at Ratatat's weave in this video, IMO it doesn't work at all for her!

Now in other news I am waiting for pics and storo from Memorial Weekend in Houston. I didn't go for it, no time , money or motivation. I think next year I may just for the sake of it, go for the L.A Sevens; anyway I await stories and links to pics from peeps! I know there had to be drama!

Anyway time for me to get back to everyday life sans five hour country wide blackouts, poleni to those of you back home. Reminds me of days of power rationing, it got so bad that we used to have ad hoc Kamkunjis as the boys outside the estate. Let's hope another dam to nowhere is built and rationing doesn't make a quick come back. Adios!


pinkmemoirs said...

Can't wait for the day when I'll miss matatu rides! About weaves (speaking from total inexperience)it seems that the more ridiculous, the better. I have no words for the blonde wiry kind, and others made to look like dreadlocks, only that they look like wires intertwined together. I don't know why it's hard to understand that a weave is supposed to look natural.

Apparently, the black out was caused by some fault in Kamburu dam or something like that. It was annoying, but the funny me thought: 'cool! the whole country is in darkness'. I don't know why that was strangely exciting!

Nakeel said...

You are so on point about the weaves atleast some do try but I guess others go for the I saw nakeel looking good in that one not bearing that not all heads look alike and thus ask for info from your hairdresser.
Just like you I enjoy the peripheral vision and judging how other are reacting to some scenes. Once was seated with a mama who instead told the chic msichana mkubwa kama wewe na hujui kuvaa nguo umetoka kwa mamako? The whole Ma3 was drama.

Mwangi said...

Lol! Binti El Sudan actually exists! Don't even get me started on weaves, there you are right, Kenyans indeed tend to have terrible taste when it comes to hair sometimes, hence my constant references to bird nests.
For me matatu rides were so special, they were the only way I knew or was able to go out and live life and so in my teens I always felt like I was independent every time I entered a 111 or 102 or 8....memories man, memories.
Personally I always found it humorous the type of people you encountered in those things....I once sat next to this middle age man who was trying to convince a younger boy he just met to go home and become his lover for the evening.
Another time I sat next to my relative who entered number 15 at Kenya Cinema and by the time we were dropped off in Langata had scored some hot young thing's number and proceeded to get home to call her up and organize some extra-curriculars.
Movies can be made about the mat experience.

Anonymous said...

gosh those somali perfumes...God forbid!

Zax said...

Bint-El-Sudan... He heee, Believe me it still exists and its like a necessity for all arab women in Nrb.
Matatu rides: A lot has evolved around them... I ride in mats and in my hood, it has to be like a club or a movie theatre for guys to board it, Like 2day, I got in one with like 7screens, disco lights, some cool soul and Tom and Jerry on the screens... Guys will always take the pimped mat even at double fares... why?

ndungu said...

What peripheral vision, Last week i looked ,got closer for another look looked at me finger and hell yes stuck... by the time she said aahhhh weeeee nini...i was smelling the finger...damu only said "you guys are so silly ahhhhhhh..."

pics za k-street hardships bado zita come.

Majonzi said...

there's no missing matatus for me. Kwnaza I did not start riding them until I was 18 and I hated the stares.. and vile jamaas would attempt to grab and grope... eeiwwww.. so crude!

weaves.... chics should just wear their hair natural, do braids, cornrows, or locks. I hate weaves in general-- the African looking ones you talk about, and the ones that attempt at long straight hair coz its very eurocentric... what's wrong with curls? and kinky hair?

Acolyte said...

@ pinkmemoirs
After doing kibao driving around nai I really began missing the ease of being a passengar; you dont know how much easier it is!
One dam powers the whole nation? Now that isn't too wise.
@ nakeel
Damn I have to give that mathee marks for keeping it real, out here peeps let you gnash freely.
@ mwangi
That perfume is real and very deadly, it sticks to you like glue! Seems your cuzo has mad game, I never did do any mat pick ups in my time.
@ neema divine
Lol those peeps seem to love them
@ zax
I see not much has changed in my absence. I think peeps love to travel in luxury despite the high price, I on the other hand would rather save money; but thats just me.
@ ndungu
You are one crazy dude!!!! I shudder to think what else that mama would have let you get away with!
@ majonzi
Seems you was one spoilt mama. You see for me after spending a long time being a defacto chauffer and suffering in nai traffic, I preferred being a passenger in a Mat and letting someone else fight with the traffic. Nobody tried to grope me, I guess I wasn't hot enough.
As for hair remember the closer to Euro looks the better it is according to popular opinion. Sad but true.

Anonymous said...

@majonzi...big up curls and kinky hair...african women need to revolte and do the natural hair do, then we'll all see the haterz reactions...( just finished undoing my braids, am rocking my kinky curls right now, you know i had to say this)

Acolyte said...

@ neema
I like women who go the natural route. Those fake weaves and such suck ass big time!

spicebear said...

only someone who lived in or near tao can miss matatu rides. on the ride to nai (yes seriously. there was the welcome sign as i approached and the kwaheri sign as i went back home) i endured holding dirty kiondos of potatoes, traumatised chicken under the seat playing footsie with me and being squeezed into rickety death traps like cabbages in a gunia. ahh, good times. maybe i do miss the rides after all.

it was funny the way i would be catching a mat with town people and they would be waiting for the cool/fast ones to come along and i would get impatient cos i just wanted to get to where i was going. you know those sayings like "in soviet russia, car drives you!" well, at our digs there was no selection, javs chose you.

as for the weaves, some do make unfortunate choices. i can safely say that no one can ever go wrong with natural hair, though people may say i took the easy route out cos i have dreads and all.

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

My oh my Bint El Sudan there was such a thing!! hehehehehehe yeah. If i'm recalling the right thing at first it smelt sweet and then within a minute it was plain sickening right? Or was it gift of Zanzibar that was like that? Cant remember.

Weaves oh gosh! I wish ladies could be convinced to keep off those things. Kwanza those who live in hot areas like Mombasa here. aaiii halafu if you're married then your man is in trouble because within the first two weeks the weave is smelling. and some people keep them on for three months!