Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Tuesday Tirades II......................

Sigh, bloggers block continues to compound with time. Anyway let me do what I can to combat it. Last weekend I went to the International Farmer's Market to get my usual supply of fruit, veggies and other occasional treats and noticed something. This maybe be stereo-typing, something I am not a big fan of; but Africans stare. There is this chica who was staring at me and I wanted to tell her to watch out otherwise her eyes would roll out of her skull, no my fly wasn't open, The Acolyte is just hot like that. Similarly a friend of mine who went back to Kenya on vacation told me how she went to Kenya and visited one of the new strip clubs that had come up. She told me how she saw a dude watching the mama dancing on the table for him, you see here when most peeps get a table dance; they will for the most part act like they are not that moved, now it was different with our Kenyan cat. The mama is dancing one the table and the dude had his face like 3 inches from the cooch. I doubt he was moonlighting as a gynaeo for the strippers but please you don't want to be that close, you don't know where that cooch has been. Sigh, Kenyans are in a class of their own I say.

The other day after issuing a disclaimer, this chica I talk to asked me how come many Africans don't wear deo. You see sometime back she used to work for some Nigerians and it seemed that many of the peeps who used to come around the joint used to subject her to noxious fumes. I also realised that you don't really notice the way that many folks especially everyday peeps on the street don't use deo much until you go back home on vacation or run across someone here who isn't using any deo at all. But of course this isn't to say that all Kenyans go around au naturale, most middle class Kenyans do use deo and other hygiene products but for the average Kenyan trying to survive on less than a $1 a day, smelling fresh is the least of your problems but on the other hand if you have made it to the States and have at least $2 you can get some roll on so I don't know about the peeps out here, they need to get their scent together.

I made a technical appearance at a Kenyan bash the other day. A well planned one at that, I was there for only 2 hours and it was a 10 min drive from home but noticed one thing that happens regularly. Why do Kenyans check into Kenyan bashes at around 1 am? It doesnt make sense to me especially if the club is closing at 3 am or 4 am, well I guess it's cheaper to get smashed at a pal's place and then go to the club and get completely plastered on one beer. I don't know how it works in other States and countries, please share.

Anyway the rivers of inspiration are running low, so I shall share these wonderful demotivational messages with you. View and get offended at your own risk

Government working just for you......


Eclipse said...

Aco...DRAMA POST!! will now embarkin on a facebook group to prompt you to the request :)

I have deo but normally dont use it. Guess i dont perspire as much as most guys coz nobody has been complaining but if u do u betta have that deo

That responsibility pic killed me. am still rollin on tha floor.

here in nai guy will check in at 8pm for bashes...meza till the pints iisha then head rave midnight..if u eva go for a bash at 1am all u will get are empty bottles, vomit and blacked out jamaaz!

ndungu said...

hot like that...so how is the 3 some coming.

Local strip clubs..if you cant shmell it, you need to move closer

Anonymous said...

Samething here in the home of the wire...Jamaas show up after 1pm.

Acolyte said...

@ Eclipse
Blogger's block notwithstanding I shall do my best to complete that series.
Here people are very fastidous about BO, back home you had to get really smelly for peeps to bother about it.
So I see Kenyans only check in early if free pints are on the menu.
@ ndungu
I am still working on it, it's a slow process but not impossible.
@ anon
so even huko Bmore Kenyans are still the same, good to know.

Nubian Queen said...

Aco u never cease to crack me up ati Africans n deodorant! hehe
oh and btw im back!

petesmama said...

For someone with blogger's block, you are still churning out the good stuff. Feeling you on the staring thing and the deodorants. And the responsibility and cheating pics are classic.

Pink M said...

Yeah, Kenyan men do absolutely unhygenic stuff in these clubs!! Some even touch it...and the dude is wearing a wedding ring, so you wonder, kwani he hasn't seen enough at home?
I have a 'Friend' who doesn't use deo (irritation issues). Can I just say he smells good? I'm left sniffing my pillow for afterwards!(Ok I'm twisted like that). One day's sweat on a man is sexy...several days of no shower is another story.

Acolyte said...

@ nubian queen
Good to have you back dear!
@ petesmama
Im struggling I tell you! At least you like the pics
@ pink M
Ewwwww how can you touch it, you dont know where it has been and how can the chic let the dudes just touch like that?! Damn! I guess your dude has musk glands or something....

Mwangi said...

Enyewe dude, accept you don't have writer's block, vibes are still coming.Kenyans showing up late ni lazima, in fact I remember once upon a time I was the late comer but that midnight - 2 a.m. appearance is MO for many.
African women CAN STARE. I have just realized that, no complaints here though......
I have this running theory - here goes a future post- that we all have different smells as races (yes, I am stereotyping and no I don't take these ones very seriously)
White people - dusty and kinda musky
Asian people - Like soap or shampoo
African people - sweat, especially if you grew up on the mainland