Tuesday, December 30, 2008

799 Posts and Other Stories

799 posts!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!! Now onto other things. I'm in a pissy mood and then some. I recently came back to work after a 4 day vacation, that and this ongoing cold snap is not doing wonders for my mood. Then of course add the fact that it's been a while since I got any (more on that later).

Anyway have you ever come across one of those situations where anything else you say other than agree makes you look like an ass hole? You see there is this girl I started talking to a month or so back and things are looking good. So of course once you get to know someone a bit better the issue of sex comes up, ole girl says basically she isn't giving it up. I say that as long as she puts it on the table before hand she should be fine when it comes to dating. She tells me that guys she have dated seemed fine with it at first but when the reality dawned, they tried to sway her and of course this led to drama and break up.

I'm going to keep it real and call it like this. Unless the Lord himself has spoken in my ear and told me that she is indeed the one I am meant to be with. Why in the world am I dating a girl and I know I'm not going to get any? No I'm not dating her with the sole purpose of getting some but for me I feel we should connect on an intellectual, emotional and then physical level. Of course if we don't have rapport then it is what it is, we part and keep it moving but at least the implicit understanding is there.

Discussing this issues is easier said than done to be honest. Like many people (male and female) in our generation, before I buy the car there has to be a test drive as the analogy goes. I respect people who say they are going to wait for marriage and all that. I have had my fair share of experiences with lemons and I don't intend on signing the dotted line till I have a test drive. On a serious note I believe in establishing that you have have that physical compatibility. Sex isn't a big thing in a relationship when it's good but when it's bad it becomes a very big thing, believe me. Some people say that if at first you are incompatible you can work on it. I disagree with this, sexual attitudes are not just physical behaviours but also have alot of personal history behind them. A partner may not like doing something you see as routine due to some attitude formed by religion or maybe even personal trauma in the past. So that's not a hurdle that's easily overcome in many occasions it just isn't as simple as people try and make it out to be. It has often been said that if the sex is good in the relationship it counts for 20% but if the sex is bad it counts for 80%, I do believe that is true; once you have problems in the bedroom they bleed into the relationship.

Anyway despite my strong call for fornication, I for one after if I get to that point with this chic will respect her decision. No ifs and buts, after all it's her vagina; what she puts in it or doesn't is completely up to her. So stop calling me a dyck for not being down for a chic who wants to keep the goodies locked up.

In other news I'm considering taking a very personal turn in my blogging come 2009, as a result I may have to go either invite only or not allow anon comments. As I got to know my commentors over time I came to the fine realization that I have slowly but surely began playing for the crowds and that is something I never intended to do when I started blogging. My blogging was for me and me alone but we all know that not everything goes according to plan. Anyway I shall give it some thought and see what direction I go.

ps: just realized this was a draft I published before completing so if any ideas come off as half baked that's why, I didn't get a chance to iron it out.

Happy New Year To All!


val said...

I can only say that its good for you to be honest....loads of guys say its okie...then turn around and start bugging the hell out of you for refusing to errmm give it up...

800 posts?? I so still feel like a Newbie..congrats!

Acolyte said...

@ Val
I may be a bastard but I am not an effing bastard lol.
Well its one post at at time, I'm sure you shall get there in no time.

Supaflyshi said...

Happy new year!!! 800 posts...Maybe I should get back to blogging on the regular.

As for the whole sex thing, it's good to be honest..if you respect the lady enuf to let her keep her goodies locked up, she should respect your decision to want to be with someone you are sexually compatible with, sometimes you just have to let go.

Mocha! said...

Why am I reading it as 799? Ama it is plus this one to make it 800?

I am confused.

As for relationships and sex, it can be tricky if you aint compatible. In the long run, good to cut your loses.

Happy New Year boss!

31337 said...

Aco do tell them. It's like you ingiad my head and mapped this stuff out.

Congratulations on the 800 posts.

Happy new year to you too.

Acolyte said...

@ Supa
What I say is blog at your own leisure. When you try to force it, that's when things get messed up.
I think at the end of the day when this issue pops up, I'll just end up keeping her as a pal.
@ Mocha
Blogger be effing with me one time I log in and it's saying 799, I add this and it's still at 799?! So that's why I changed it. Have happy 2008 too!
@ 31337
I think at times you just have to keep things real, we waste way too much time with trivial issues.

bomseh said...

In my email it showed 800.

Sex before marriage should be encouraged. There was a scandal sometime in 2005 in Coasto where the bride found out on her wedding day that his bridegroom was just a bride who was groomed. She almost married a fellow woman, after a two year relationship. See?

pink m said...

That thing of waiting till marriage is like playing russian roulette with your marriage, because if the sex is terrible, the marriage won't be too good either, so amen to sex before marriage.

Congrats on the 800 posts...

gishungwa said...

I like that you are real with yourself and with this mama when the time comes. Those who want to wait, good for them for the rest who want to dip it heck go ahead. Am for the latter esp considering there is ED and all i want to know beforehand.

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|d®| said...

Sex is a HUGE issue in any relationship. Most breakups - and a good number of homicides - are a direct result of it.

Sh*t, the chemistry has to be there too, so I'd have to be an idiot to get hitched to someone with whom there isn't any.

acolyte said...

@ bomseh
That was me and blogger having issues.
@ pink M
Thanks, yeah you gotta look out and make sure you arent short changed lol
@ gish
Im trying to keep my life simple. That mama is just goin to be a pal mwisho.
@ Dr K
Im too young for the blue pill, thanks for visiting!
@ d
Lmao @ homicides. But you are very right!

Anonymous said...

shut-up. can't you just tell by looking at her? get her to undress, then see how she touches you, if you like her body and the way she touches, way she dances, it's all you really need to know. i need to test drive? be a man, any woman is good in bed. hurry up and get married. ~ veritas

Mrembo said...

I've read and I sorta understand where the lady is coming from... it would be hypocritcal of me to say ati I wholly agree with "no sex before marriage". I know of someone who did that and before you know it, they were married and after less than six months SHE was asking for a DIVORCE. Why did she want a divorce... brother man could not get it up!!!! Imagine!!! That sorta explained why he had been willing to date bila sex!

But what I wanted to say is that I agree with her not wanting to give it up too easily.. because how many guys is a girl going to date and have sex with just cause they are dating and then it leads no-where???. I am a little old fashioned like that. I would like to think that if it were me.. I would be sleeping with the guy I intend to marry. Sorry just cause we are dating don't me that you are gonna get some!

It is tough though... when does one give it up and when does one not??

Acolyte said...

@ Anon
Ummmmmmmmm easier said than done. Plus we aren't even dating lmao.
@ mrembo
I respect the mama's wishes 100%, that is one of the reasons I am backing off her.
That story is nothing short of hilarious! I can only imagine her frustration after saving herself for all that time only for the dude to be useless!
But yes that is a hard question, when to give it up and when not to give it up?

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