Thursday, July 06, 2006

You wonder why they call you bitch.....

No this is not a rant, title aside.But some experiences I have had lately, in the past and talking to my sister got me to thinking about this.Why are some women bitches?
I am not talking about the once in a while bitch fits most women have because of stress,something going on and no I am not going to touch the one about Aunt Flow being in town.What I am talking about are those women who seem to get some sort of thrill from making everyone's life miserable.The ones who have a constant sneer on their face and a tongue lashing just pending on their tongue.The kind of woman who looks down on everything that has breath that is not her.The kind of person who does everything to tear down your dreams if you share them.The kind of person who will stab you in the back the first chance they get.
I am sure we have all ran into this kind of woman be it as a teacher,boss,work mate,relative or God forbid...mother!I am not saying that all men are good, au contraire there are bad men too but in some women it just seems to be more consistent and visceral.In my experience, I have an aunt who is like the person I described up there.I got an e-mail from my mum (with whom they do not see eye to eye) about how one of my other aunt's being in a bad state (people think she is HIV+ as when she was married she left her husband and went to live with a man whose wife had died of AIDS and who later on passed on - yes I know TMI!).So since my aunt has been paying for her meds she demands that she shows herself for one of the major family gatherings so that the rest of the extended family can take a good look at her; I mean this is your own sister!
Then my own sister was telling me how her and a friend went to a youth service at a new church. The guys there were pretty welcoming and didnt mind new people joining them but there were these two chics who made it so uncomfortable for them and by their attitude made it plain that they didn't want them there.She then went on to tell me that back home she always remembered fat/chubby people as nice and happy (yes, a stereotype!) but when she came to the states she told me that you don't want to be under the mercy of a big girl ie if you have gone to a night club with the proper dress code but maybe your shirt doesnt have a collar, she will make sure you don't get in and will have a good time doing it.
Then there is this chic who is in my uni.She seems chilled out if you first meet her but wait till you get to know her.I used to hear people talking about her and I thought that maybe it was them talking smack until I experienced her first had.Anyway this is what happened, you see we do have a bookstore over here and over summer their regular employees take time off so there are more openings.So during the summer I session my room mate was working there but quit over the weekend to take another job.So he tells me that they need several people in the book store esp men to do the heavy lifting.So I went there yesterday to pick up an application.That chic works as the cashier and she is the one who has the forms.So she starts grilling me about the fact that I have an assistantship insinuating that one job is enough.She then goes on to add that the manageress is not looking for any new help when I know that that isn't the case.I took an application but decided that I would only hand it in personally to the manageress as I had a felling that chick would shred it if she could.
So ladies please tell me, why do some chics act like this?


Half 'n' half said...

maybe, just maybe you do attract that sort of person.......? but there are many many women who believe that they gotta be bitchy to be heard. its a self esteem issue. Poles for nasty experience

Acolyte said...

@ liveinsudan
I believe a woman can still be a go getter,succesful and confident without having to run everyone in her way down.But I could be wrong!

egm said...

That can happen. There is this lady at my office who has a PhD in physics and is the chief engineer. Very accomplished and very confident. But also a very sweet lady. Case in point, a former colleague of ours left to pursue his masters, and when he graduated, this lady hosted a bunch of us at her place in honour of this guy. She was busy in the kitchen cooking up a storm. And yet she was not obligated to do this. So yes, you can find women who have made it in life that are not stuck up.

Irena said...

Aren't you yourself now bitching about her and I, reading this I'm like "why do some men bitch about women all the time"

Acolyte said...

@ egm
I think your colleague is a good example.But I dont expect all people to go to her levels, just being nice to people most of the time is good enough.
@ irena
I am not talking about people bitching/moaning I am talking about people being bitches!Those are two different things.Go back read the post and comment again.

Whispering Inn said...

Hmm... I want to see what women have to say about this, without taking offense, though.

Don_quixote's said...

I would say its an infiriority complex, i will sadly admit to being related to one of the said snakes. With these kind of women/ladies/girls whatever they be they only understand the language they speak. Am an XX but please if some one bahaves so i will trample you machavellain style and not think twice about it. Some women kwanza like the one you described have no excuse. Your gender what ever it may be is no excuse for inexcusable behavior full stop.GRRR aki i could go and weka a post myself so wacha i stop.

acolyte said...

@ whispering inn
That is why I made sure that I used to word some, plus I have heard women complain too!So I think I'm okay (I hope!).
@ don
I think it's an inferiority complex too.Dont you ever wonder why so many people just dont want to work under women bosses?Not to say there arent good ones but the bad ones are killers!But I do feel you that gender is no excuse for any kind of behaviour.

Mdogoz said...

Truth be told, some women bitch a lot. I think it has something to do with a need to assert themselves in a male-dominated world. I also feel that women tend to voice their discontent more than guys - guys would think about things, weigh the issue, and only speak up if necessary. Lakini I absolutely feel your pain ... it sucks being 'bitched' at by a woman ... sucks big time!

Don_quixote's said...

Females bosses i have had my share of some have been really good others well there are lots of ways i could describe them but human would not even be anything associated with them.
But at the end some ones attitude wether female or male if bad is inexcusable, So women sadly just coz you are female and maybe have "one of those days" leave the attitude at home. And since this is the age of metrosexuals(is this a new species?)leave the attitude at home too guys.
@mdogoz Women of siku hizi take the equality thing too far hence FEMINISM A NOBLE LIE
I am a woman and proud of it, does beinga a women make me weak NO it makes me different from a man, difference make you strong not weak, men and women are supposed to complemeant each other not fight for dominance. If there is a PUSH there must be a PULL, for HEAT there is COLD, for GOOD there is EVIL, for STRONG there is WEAK.
Your weakness make you strong(thats for the women who havent discovored themselves yet.

Girl next door said...

I know those bitches you're talking about. They'll be hostile and lash out without warning. I've had some experiences like your sister's. You show up somewhere for a function and get very chilly reception from some miscellaneous woman you've never seen before in your life who leaves you wondering, "Did I unknowingly steal your husband and kidnap your child, ama?" I have an aunt and another family friend who fall in the same group. I have no clue why they act like this. I just try to avoid them.

acolyte said...

@ mdogoz
I do get your point, just know that it is always hard for us as men to understand that!
@ don
You have put it so well there is little I can add.I think that we need to embrace the diversity between genders instead of fighting it!
Those are the kind of women I am wondering about.The kind who have such a nasty attitude mpaka it's shocking!Anyway like you said if you cant stop stay away!