Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Mothers and No Good Sons, a new Champion!

I am sure we all know such dudes. A dude who is in his mid 20's and over, has a temp or no job, has little motivation to do anything, more often than not he dropped out of college / university, some have drink or drug problems and in more extreme cases a kid.These are not the mama's boy's who have something going for them but choose to stay at home, these are the bottom of the barrel peeps; the never have beens! Heck you could be one of those dudes!

One thing that I have mentioned is that more often than not these men have close relationships with their mothers. Interestingly enough is the fact that quite often when they have sisters, these girls very often have a straight head on their shoulders and are not as messed up as their brothers if at all. And yes I do know some chics who are just as messed up but this one is about the guys because I have been accused of being a woman-basher by certain people, so this one is for you!

It has been said in the case of single mothers, they lavish their sons with the love that is meant to be targetted at a partner but do not excercise the same when it comes to discipline. There is also the lack of male role models, father figures or just a father! This not to say that all sons raised by single mothers turn to be a mess though. There are other factors but I dont want to get into them right now as that is a post in its own.

I have known quite a few of these dudes and I used to think what a waste! I used to have this neighbour who never used to kosa at jobless corner. The dude was in his early or mid thirties but all the bumming he did seems to have kept him young. He always used to have a tall story, if you listened to him you would think that this dude was on the up and up. He could name drop like there was no tommorrow but at the end of the day; zip zero! When I moved into the hood I was a first year in uni and he was bumming, when I left uni, he was still bumming by the time I was leaving the country he was still bumming!

There are also these 2 brothers I know who are the sons of an ex MP who passed away a few years ago. These two went to India a long time back when it was all the rage and came back with nothing (by the way what is it about India that messes people up? Someone please share).
They also have another brother who is just as messed up, the dude used to drink so much that he was almost losing his eyesight. But they do have one brother who turned out just fine and has a well paying job and two sisters who also seem just fine, so you wonder what went write or wrong in his case.
One of the brothers went drinking in one of the Estate bars and came home to find the gate locked and decided to climb over it. As he went over one side and jumped to the ground, one of the spikes on the top of the gate caught the hood of his sweatshirt. What this did was turn his sweatshirt into a noose, he was too drunk to try and wriggle his way out of the sweatshirt and the gate was pretty high so he couldn't put his feet on the ground. So the rest of the family woke up to find his corpse hanging on the gate.
A sad way to leave the world isn't it?

Most men I know aspire to make something of their lives, acquire prestige, achieve goals and the such. In fact when men cant do this they get depressed when they can't display their worth, hence cases of alcoholism or suicide when people are laid off. So, it is a sad thing when you come across those who have all the opportunities to make something of themselves but for some reason or other choose not to which to me is different from those who have tried but circumstances in life have prevented them from achieving their goals and full potential. I am sure some of you know some of these never have beens. What to say? What to say?

On the other hand, seems there is a new middleweight Champion in the UFC. The undefeated Rich Franklin was knocked off his perch! Lesson of the day from watching that fight? Don't follow someone else's game plan! Rich Franklin can punch but he is by no means on the same level as the dude he was fighting, Anderson Silva who has had years of Muay Thai training under his belt. Once he has you in the clinch you need to get out as fast as possible!Here's the fight, it was over in no time!
ps: You have to admire how fast Wiki members are! The fight was on Saturday and the entries have already been changed!


StackOfStiffys said...

Here we go again.....

mocha! said...

ala....i put up a comment it was deleted!!!

How now????

I will be back!!!

I hope this one stays

StackOfStiffys said...

Those no good sons are a sore bore, I know a few myself and they jus misbehave I tell you. One used to sleep with the maid, and one day when he brought him a babe when his parents were gone.... suffice to say the neighbourhood had enough gossip for a year!

Wiki members thrive on facts, hence the constant updates, and that is why it is a successful experiment, make me wonder if Google Inc. has set its sights on this one as well?

StackOfStiffys said...

Pole sana mocha! Please feel free to join Bomseh from jana in the list of hacked comments!

egm said...

I know of one such guy who died similarly to the one you describe. Sad that this happened while his brothers turned out much different.

Half 'n' half said...

I know one of those good for nothing boys, and his sisters my God you should meet them, they are trully well off, unfortunately they feed his uselessness by giving him whatever money he wants.

How much time you got to hear about why India messes up people?
1. class is optional
2. Alcohol is cheap
3. Freedom galore no chance of even meeting your aunty on the street.
4. Nigerian brothers
5. Money sent directly from home
Could go on for ever. How I know you ask? I had a brother there. though thank God he aint messed up

Half 'n' half said...

I forgot, How could I forget this:
Weed is legal and sold in the shops like cigarrettes

Movie Buff said...

Where do I begin?

I know and I know and I have such cousins who are just shaming their parents. Its such a shame that mothers of such sons continue to baby them until their 30s.....

And then there are those people who always tell my mum that she should have gotten a son. WHAT FOR?? Us gals are making her proud.

I love Wiki......

Acolyte said...

@ stack
This is a no drama post kabisa! I can see that you too have come across a few of those too!
I hope Google doesnt buy Wiki, it just wont be the same if it goes commercial.
@ mocha!
pole sana
@ egm
Sad isnt it.
@ half n half
Yes it is sad that the family often makes things worse. Thanks for telling me about the India issue. Good thing your bro came out kawa after it all.
@ movie buff
I would rather have a good daughter than a never been son any day!

Anonymous said...

I have a couple of uncles from both sides of the family (dad's and mum's) who are similarly afflicted. I think it is more a mental - genetic defect since they were all brought up the same and they just turned out inexplicably different.

What a sad way to go out.

Wairimu said...

families are different and its not too accurate to make generalizations. Not all guys who are close to their mothers end up vibaya, and not all guys (and girls) who are brought up in single parent families end up like that.

I feel that factors such as the level of encouragement, trust, confidence given to the kids propel them further in life, irrespective of the kind of family.

In fact, the two guys I know who are "lay-abouts" come from families with a very "oppressive" dad -- so the presence of the father figure did more harm than good ~!!

Lovin the flavor of this blog. Keep on posting !!

Majonzi said...

Tsk, tsk, my observation (nothing scientific), I really thought all Kenyan jamaas are like that... . Do-no-gooders!! Lakini on a serious note, here in MinneSNOWta, I have seen Kenyan chiles striving and making it with all the pressures, while the jamaas result to alcohol and sex (shrug)

Acolyte said...

@ Aegeus
Like I said there is no one that we can blame on this but I must say that it is a sad way to pass.
@ wairimu
My post really isnt about the families but the dudes. As for the generalisations that is why I used the prefix "it has been said....." and this statement "This not to say that all sons raised by single mothers turn to be a mess though."
There are many single mums who are doing a sterling job and have great sons, like my mum!
Thanks for passing by and the thumbs up!
@ Majonzi
Hell no!There are some good Kenyan jamaas but the losers are the most noticeable as we all know.
I guess those dudes you have in minnesnowta cant hack the pressure or sumthin.

Majonzi said...

Aco, all my friends are in search for mates... so u send a cupla good ones our way... Me, I am taken... he is a rare gem---> a good Kenyan jamaa

Acolyte said...

@ majonzi
I am sure they will find mates, I would volunteer but I am planning on a stretch of celibacy and singleness soon!