Thursday, November 30, 2006

Burning Tables, Scorched Earth and othe warm sentiments

In my time I have been privileged enough to drink in places that encompass two extremes, five star hotels and complete hovels. This is the story of one night in the latter kind of establishment. When I was in uni there was this shack we used to go drink at that we called KJ's. Over time the place expanded and the dude built a banda near the shack.

So one night after hanging out with the boys in my crib, we decided to go catch a few pints so as to end the night. So we went to to KJ's and managed to get a few pints. That night unfortunately was one of those nights when it was so cold that you are given a warm beer and after a few minutes it gets a layer of frost on it. Anyway we took our beers and went to sit down in the banda where we found some of our classmates who were even more wasted than us. We started talking in between bouts of shivering when one of us started playing with his cigarette lighter. Someone else started looking around and realised that the make shift banda's walls were covered with old newspapers and boxes.Can you guess where I'm going with this?????

So two and two were put together and dudes began taking down some of the "wallpaper" and stacked it on the table, yes the table. The papers were put in a nice pile with some shredded for kindling and set ablaze. Yes, it was a sight to behold! A group of dudes sitting at a table with a fire burning on the middle of the table. Good times! I wonder what any late night passers by must have been thinking? And no, we did not burn down the table. We might have been bastards, but not arsonist bastards.

Have you ever heard of the scorched earth policy? Well I have known some people whom have used it to devastating effect in real life to get payback. Anyway there was this dude I knew who found out that his chic was playing him. He dumped her but at the same time decided to scorch the earth while he was at it. He spread this rumour that she had an std that made her "woman hood" smell to high heaven and that if you had sex with her you would have to burn those sheets and blankets. Seeing as he was a reliable dude, many people took him for his word and blacklisted the chic. With Nai being smaller and closer knit than some people think, word got round and that chic couldn't get a date from anyone who lived in a 20 km radius of that area for a very long time. Whenever she walked into a joint guys would look at each other, whisper and burst into laughter.

No I am not condoning that behaviour at all, but it is amazing how far a rumour can go. I think last week I blogged about how people repeat rumours word for word so I won't get into it.Say something positive, it goes nowhere but share something malicious and it goes to the ends of town!

Moving on, Sengeni Ng'ethe of Mama Mike's got in touch with me about sharing there ad that they have put up on youtube. Here is the link. I have never used there services before so I can't give an endorsement, but what I can't knock is their innovation and will to get the word out. If anyone has used them before do let us know.
ps: Just gave my finance and budgeting presentation yesterday evening. Ironic thing is that I find talking in front of people easy but when it comes to one on one interaction, that is where the uphill task begins.


egm said...

Your drinking round the newspaper fire story reminds me of these people here in the deep of winter who stand outside shivering as they freeze up just to catch a smoke. They look too funny.

That mambo of retaliating by rumours is just bad. Enyewe that woman must have had it real bad having to endure all that.

I agree, Seg is showing innovation with that ad. I haven't used their services, so I can't comment on that.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of a certain campfire after guys had had too much to drink and blacked out next to the fire and baked toes and other appendages when they snuggled too close to the burning embers.

My mother told me if i have nothing good to say about someone, i should hold my tongue. Good advice which i still use. :-)

Half 'n' half said...

Rumuors, it can be sooo easyto start one and think nothing of it a few minutes later but when you are at the receiving end, Its soo painful and can scar for life.

That gazeti story? whare was the owner? ama those tubar maids who ALWAYS hover around jamaas in those dingy bars?

Don_quixote said...

Rumours hhmm, lets just say, there was this dude and gal, who got together and when things didnt work out one was told that "they had seen more traffic than heathrow airport on a busy day" and the other "a freaking rapist and a caveperson", sad thing is that's all every one knows about that couple, funny how people choose to pay attention to the bad stuff and not the good.

@egm, yeah them smokers shangaza me too, it makes you wonder if the smoke is from the sigara or the cold lol

Girl next door said...

You guys were rather innovative with the fire! Even if you hang out in some dingy joint, you can always make it fun.

Rumours spread like wildfire, and who can resist an outrageous story? It's must be hellish to have such an embarassing story going round about you.

It is ironic that you find it easier to speak in front of people, for most of us it's the opposite.

kenyanalyst said...

Aah, KJ & Smallworld, eh? I don't drink, but I recall that those two - in addition to the many villages around - provided ready sources for tragicomedies for the student newspaper.

Acolyte said...

@ egm
I feel pity for smokers here in the states they are outcasts in society.
@ aegeus
I remember in K1 some dude blacked out near the fire and got burned and to add insult to injury the bouncers threw him out.
@ half n half
Rumours are deadly that I agree. As for the table, the owner was gone and there was no barmaid there.
@ Don Q
That couple's storo has made my day!
@ Girl Next Door
That's what makes dingy joint shika, the fact that you have to innovate.
I think damage control is very important if rumours begin.
I guess I am the exception of the rule.
@ kenyanalyst
KJ's never failed to give some drama for the people and the papers too!